Posts About ‘Saints’

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Divisional Round Madness

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

"Stop Gore and they won’t score"

I guess last week I must have been smoking something heavy, because I went 1-3. The only correct pick I had was the Saints. Now, the teams I wanted to win, won. I wanted Houston to win and I wanted the Broncos to win, I just didn’t pick them. This week should make a little more sense as since 1990 (when the current playoff format started) the home teams in the divisional round are a stout 61-23. That’s .726 winning percentage or about 75%. So based on percentages, only one of this weeks road teams will win. So which one will it be?

Well, the reason that the home team has such an advantage in the divisional round is because all four home teams have been spending the last two weeks resting sore muscles, studying tape and practicing. Take the Patriots v. Broncos. While the Patriots starters have essentially had three weeks off, the Broncos are coming into New England on a short week. Only six days to prepare. Against three weeks? Who will be the more prepared team? Of course, the only positive is there is such a thing as over preparing.

This might be a good time to mention that my Superbowl pick this year was the Packers vs. Patriots. It should also be noted that I had no idea that Tim Tebow was going to be in the playoffs. I had the Broncos dead last in their division and the Chiefs going back to the playoffs. Great call there right? Who knew the Chiefs were going to suck so freaking bad? And who knew that Jesus would come down from the heavens, anoint Tim Tebow the savior of football, kick Merril Hodge in the balls and zip back up to the clouds? Football! Yearggh!

New Orleans at San Francisco
Saturday 4:30 PM ET – Line: +3.0
“Stop Gore and they won’t score,” opined @mbletsch at lunch the other day. There is a little more to the San Francisco offense than Frank Gore, but they need his legs to be chugging against the Saints front line in order to open up the passing game. But the Saints are no fools, rarely using an overload blitz against the run (as many teams seem to foolishly do these days) and shouldn’t have much problem defending the pass. The Niners don’t have a guy like Megatron, who still managed to scorch the Saints defensive backs last week. The Saints tore up the Lions like it was an arena football game, after giving them slight hope in the first half. The Niners will have to contain Sproles and push through to pressure Drew Brees. The Saints run such complex and unique passing routes, that Drew Brees needs as much time as possible to let the play develop. There is tons of misdirection and the key here is pressure, pressure, pressure. If the Niners and their top ranked defense fail to move Brees out of the pocket, they will fail to win this game. It’s that simple. The Lions failed to do this, they failed to properly cover receivers in the secondary and they failed to win. The key to a Saints victory is score fast and keep scoring, something they do well. Something the Niners do well is ground out the clock and games once they have a lead. The Saints have to avoid that from happening. This is my one away team pick though, as I’m sticking with the Saints to go to the NFC Championship game.

Denver at New England
Saturday 8:00 PM ET – Line: -13.5
I’m going to be honest here, I want the Broncos to win. I want them to overcome nearly a two touchdown line to beat the Patriots, in New England and go to the AFC Championship game. But I’ve already played the percentages. I picked the Saints to win, and that’s my one away team. This is a history making year though, so anything is possible. But is a Denver win possible? The Patriots rolled into Denver a few weeks back, and after letting the Broncos get an early lead, simply annihilated them on offense, making the Denver defense look the fool. There were a couple things happening in that game that are different now. First off, John Fox finally started calling in passing plays. Second, Tebow started completing passes on passing plays. Of course, the Patriots are going to be watching tape from the Pittsburgh game and wondering how receivers got that open, and how Tebow got that accurate. But will they be looking for the pass, the run or the Tebow run? You can’t anticipate all three and I think John Fox and crew, with absolutely nothing to lose, will have some serious surprises in store for the Patriots and their bottom ranked defense. Remember, the Steelers had the number one ranked defense, and the Broncos torched them through the air. Maybe because they didn’t see it coming, whatever. It’s not going to matter against the Patriots, they have a terrible defense. This game will be won or lost by the Denver defense. It’s not about containing the run, it’s about guessing if the ball is going to Welker, Hernandez or Gronkowski. Double teaming a tight end is out of the question. So what’s the key? Get. Tom. Brady. Sack his pretty ass. For finesse QB’s like Brady, everything is about timing. Throw off his timing, throw off his game. We’ll see if the Broncos can accomplish this. Either way, as much as I want the Broncos to win, I don’t think they’ll be able to keep up with the score. I expect this game to be a lot closer than 14 points, but still picking the Patriots to win and make a lot of Tebow fans very, very sad. Merril Hodge will be happy though, but fuck Merril Hodge.

Houston at Baltimore
Sunday 1:00 PM ET – Line: -7.0
The worst team in the playoffs was proven to be the Bengals, as they completely rolled over for the Texans, who overpowered them on offense and on defense. The Bengals didn’t seem to be playing in the same league. It was the first match-up of rookie QB’s in a playoff game, and only the 3rd stringer prevailed. This week Yates takes his team into the very hostile Baltimore to go up a defense just as, if not stronger than his teams. Really, Flacco and Yates basically cancel themselves out. While not a rookie, Flacco still makes the same late game errors that rookies tend to make. Plus, the rushing game makes for a great storyline too. And that’s where the win is going to come from. Who can break the line and get the yards, Ray Rice or Arian Foster? I think it’s going to be Rice, based on the continued strength and pull of the Ravens offensive line. I think Foster will get plenty of carries and break off a couple good runs, but Rice is a very explosive player that also receives well in the flat. Since the defenses are so good, it’s going to come down to offense and it’s going to be the running game that seals the deal. This is a great match-up and should be a very exciting game to watch. Big defensive plays and great running. Statistics are statistics though, so I’m taking the Ravens to win.

New York at Green Bay
Sunday 4:30 PM ET – Line: -9.0
There are pundits talking about how the Giants beat the Packers in the playoffs on their way to a Superbowl. Most of those same Giants, especially on the defense, are still on this team. So after making short work of the Falcons (who are barely worth a mention at this point) the Giants roll into the hallowed field in the middle of the small town of Green Bay Wisconsin. I would love to think that the Giants really do stand a chance this year against the explosive offense of the Packers, but I really don’t think they do. At least not for 60 minutes. Look, while the Packers don’t have the best defense, they do have a playmaking defense. That’s enough to keep the game in their favor when they get ahead, or fall slightly behind. The keys to victory lie in the hands of the starting QB’s. Both Manning and Rodgers are kings of the two minute drill, with only Eli slipping up now and again with a late interception (see Seahawks loss.) I’m taking the Packers in this game not just because of statistics but because they will just score more points. Math wins at this point. Packers to win.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 8

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

Can Brady do it again vs. the Steelers?

Week 8 is when the depression of losing sets in. I went a dismal 7-6 last week, and I want to cut out my eyes and dip them in acid. I wouldn’t bet on my picks if you forced me. Yet, I’m still hanging at 66% on the year (68-35) so that’s not too bad. So last week had some challenging games, a lot of upsets and some surprise wins. The biggest of course being the Denver Tebows over Miami. All the pundits are of course blaming the Denver win on Miami’s failure to play competent football, and claiming Tebow was terrible for 55 minutes and good for 5.

Honestly, the whole team was terrible for 55 minutes. Then they came together in the last 5. Tebow was steady, but damn, how can they expect the guy to pass the ball when the pocket collapses as soon as he takes a step back? If they can’t protect against Miami, how are they going to fare against the Lions this week? Of course he was sacked and rushed. He still escaped often and made the big plays when it mattered, so all you Tebow haters can suck it. The kid is the real deal and just needs some help from his team.

In other NFL news, even Browns fans turned off the game last week due to abject boredom. Here’s to a more exciting week of football. On with the picks!

Featured Game:

New England at Pittsburgh Line: +1.5
This is always a good one, for the Patriots. The Pats got a break last week and come off the bye to face their toughest opponent before facing the Bills again. The Steelers just tossed around the Cardinals after teasing them a bit. But here’s the thing, no matter how good these two teams are, on defense (Steelers) and offense (Pats) and how many Superbowls they’ve won over the past years, Tom Brady simply owns the Steelers. Brady is 6-1 against Pittsburgh, only losing back in 2004. In the six wins, Brady has 14 touchdowns and one interception. His last four games against the Steelers have included a 70.9 completion percentage, nine touchdowns, one pick, and a yards-per-attempt average of 8.79. You can’t argue with the statistics. So how can you even think about taking the Steelers after how they’ve really not dominated this year at all? You have to stick with the Pats. However, this is going to be a fun game to watch and if you have any Pittsburgh players on your fantasy team, play them. The Patriots are likely to give up a ton of points, but not more than it takes for them to win. Patriots on the road.

Tailgate City (the Rest:)

Indianapolis at Tennessee Line: -9.0
Last week the Titans rolled over and got their fudge packed in by the Texans. Hasselbeck was terrible, Chris Johnson was nonexistent and the rest of the team just kind of stood there as the Texans whipped up on them. Do I think they re-surge this week and get a huge home win to keep in the running for the division or will the Colts buck up and win a fucking game? The Colts didn’t fare much better (worse actually) against the Saints, but at least it looked like they were trying. I’d like to nominate Peyton Manning for the MVP. No one man has meant more to a team than him. The Colts, Dolphins and Rams will be drafting QB’s 1-2-3 next year, the first time that has happened since 1999. Unless one of them actually gets their shit together. It won’t be the Colts this week. They just don’t have enough to win. Titans at home. Not with the points though. I don’t think they are that good right now. Though if Chris Johnson can’t get it done against the Colts terrible rushing defense, then I’m writing him off for the rest of the season.

New Orleans at St. Louis Line: +13.0
If you thought that the Saints vs. Colts game was a mismatch, wait until the Saints travel to St. Louis this weekend and whip up on the Rams. New Orleans stopped passing after the half last week, yet still ran up the score. They couldn’t help it. Expect more of the same this week, but the Rams could put up a bit of a fight. Not on run defense of course, since they have one of the worst in the league. New receiver Brandon Lloyd might get going this game, but the Rams will need a whole lot more than one receiver to get this offense going. Saints on the road.

Miami at NY Giants Line: -10.0
Hey, Miami signed J.P. Losman. Won’t help. The Dolphins are horrid. Was it play calling that lost the game for them against the Broncos? Was it the magic of Tim Tebow? Or was it just really, really bad offense and QB play? It was all those things and more. The Dolphins are in the “suck for Luck” mode for sure, so I’m not picking them the rest of the season. I’m gunning for them to go 0-16. Not only that, but Sprano still inexplicably has a job, yet the Fins are already making phone calls. This does not bode well. The Giants, coming off a bye are looking like they could make the NFC East even tougher than it is. Expect them to rack up crazy stats against the Dolphins, or get upset. Either way, I’m not picking the Fins. Giants to win.

Minnesota at Carolina Line: -4.0
A nice quality win for the Panthers last week. Newton looked solid, going 18 for 23 for 256 yards and two TD’s – one rushing. He’s got seven of those this season. Nice on the defensive side too, as they racked up the sacks and a key interception (aren’t they all?) On the other side, Ponder looked good against the Packers last week, but c’mon, that was the Packers. He wasn’t going to win. This should be an interesting game between two decisively different rookie QB’s. I don’t think the Vikings have the contain down on the QB, give Newton time and he’s gonna go all A-Team on the secondary, especially with Steve Smith still out there catching passes. Rush him, and he’ll scramble, but I don’t see the Vikings successfully breaking through that often. Panthers to win at home.

Arizona at Baltimore Line: -13.0
Did anyone think the Cardinals would beat the Steelers? This team hasn’t played good football since Warner left. They gave Kolb that huge contract, but took his supporting players away from him. With a receiver core that isn’t as good as it used to be, and a running back that can’t get his legs under him, the Cardinals offense is simply terrible. There is hope for this team though, they are in the NFC West. The Ravens played a defensive struggle against the Jaguars, both teams played very well on that end. They did allow over 100 rushing yards to MJd though. But the Cardinals don’t have that kind of defense, the Ravens should be back to form this week, you know, scoring points on both offense and defense. Ravens to win.

Jacksonville at Houston Line: -9.5
Wait, did the Jags actually beat the Ravens? They did! They did it with astoundingly stout defense and a massive running game from Maurice Jones-Drew. Good for them, because they have looked pathetic all season. The Ravens are notorious for their run defense, yet gave up all those yards. But hell, they are seriously outmatched against the division leading Texans. Arian Foster is having a good season now that he’s back from injury. He’s going to test the Jax front line for sure. The Houston Texans have too many weapons for the Jags to stop, but then, that’s what I said about the Ravens. I think the Texans are a much more complete team though, and can stop the run a bit better and not get bogged down on offense. Texans at home.

Washington at Buffalo Line: -4.0
The Bills are comfortably coming off a bye heading into this game in Toronto. They have had a nice season so far, scoring a shit ton of points and highlighting the awesome running of undrafted back Fred Jackson. This counts as a home game for them, as like the Buffalo Sabres, they may as well reside in Toronto because they have a huge fan base there. Meanwhile, the Redskins defense, usually stingy, gave up a bunch of yards to the rush last week, so I don’t think they’ll shore that up in a week. John Beck, Rex Grossman – it doesn’t matter. The Redskins are inconsistent at best. Like it matters, I was gonna pick the Bills anyway. Bills to win at home.

Detroit at Denver Line: +3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Here’s the deal with the Lions, all the goodwill they have been building by winning, they lose when players like Suh get all dirty and shit. And I’m not talking about a lack of personal hygiene. I’m talking about blatant facemasking, yanking a QB’s head around like it’s a maypole. I’m talking about players rolling up on a QB’s ankle and other thuggery. The refs took notice, nailing the Lions for a ton of penalties, ultimately costing them the game. Was it worth it? The refs might be cracking down, but Suh should have been thrown out of the fucking game for that bullshit. His arm was wide out, full grab for the face. Thrown out and suspended for 3 games. I see it too much at the Pee-Wee level, kids playing just as violent. I’ve seen little thugs stomp on players while they are down, clothesline and more. At the 8-9 year old level. While their idiot parents cheer them on and the refs do nothing for fear of reprisal. What the fuck is wrong with this picture? Anyway, the Denver Tebows mounted a furious comeback against Miami, so no matter how terrible they played up to that point, they won the fucking game so all you Tebow haters can suck it. Denver is still terrible on both sides of the ball, and I know the Lions have more offensive power than the Broncos D can handle, but just for the hell of it, fuck it if I’m wrong but I’ll look awesome if I’m right – the Lions continue their skid and the Broncos and Tim Tebow win. Denver at home.

Cleveland at San Francisco Line: -9.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
You mean after that three point drubbing that the Browns gave the Seahawks last week in what was probably the most boring game of the season, the Browns aren’t less than a 10 point underdog? Weak. That’s just weak. Every one keeps saying that perhaps the Browns are better than they are, perhaps they are but outside of defense, the Browns haven’t showed anything recently that would give me the impression that they are nothing but a cobbled together team of young players that could do well in the future. Last week the defense was fantastic, but it was the offense that couldn’t get anything started. This week they travel to the West coast to fight the Niners, who are coming off a bye after a win over the Lions in rough fashion. The Browns, while I’d love to pick them since they are my boys, are not going to win this game because of the offensive problems. There could be an upset here, but I don’t think so. I hope so, but don’t think so. Niners to win at home.

Cincinnati at Seattle Line: +2.5
So the Seahawks got shut down on all offensive fronts by the Browns, and lost. Their defense played well I suppose, blocking a few field goals, but I think it was the lack of a Browns offense that kept the scoring low. Real low. Finally they go home after a couple weeks on the road, and they welcome another AFC North opponent to their house. Can Whitehurst and the boys rebound and beat the Bengals? Also coming off a bye, this team is the most surprising 4-2 team. Andy Dalton is coming around quite nicely as a starting QB, his mistakes are starting to disappear. The only issues remain at running back, as Benson has been sidelined for a bit. I’m looking for the Bengals to add to their win total here on the road, which should make their next game against the Steelers that much more interesting. Bengals to win.

Dallas at Philadelphia Line: -3.0
The Eagles needed a bye week to settle down. Are they settled? Well, a strong divisional game will show us if they are. What needs to be settled? Well, Vick needs to show that he’s worth that big contract and actually stick in the pocket and throw a pass, while the lack of a secondary needs to be addressed. The run defense isn’t spectacular either. Which should be interesting against rookie DeMarco Murray, who broke Emmitt Smith’s rushing record for a single game in a Cowboys uniform. The Cowboys are gearing up. They got a slow start and are going to be scary to face very shortly in the future, that is, they are going to be an offensive powerhouse – if Tony Romo can get his head out of his ass. Either way, I’m going against the grain here and going with the Cowboys to win because I really don’t like the Eagles, I said they weren’t going to be as good as people say they are and I like to be right. Cowboys. Offense. Win.

San Diego at Kansas City Line: +3.5
Finally. Finally the Chiefs looked like they do on paper. Finally the offense blew up. Finally the running game got going. Finally the passing game, the defense and Matt Cassel woke the fuck up. They trashed the Raiders, ran Boller out of the game and looked damn good. Can they do it again, at home against a Chargers team that has it’s number one weapon in Antonio Gates back on the field? Can they prove that they are not to be counted out just yet and the start of the year was just a fluke? Or was last week a fluke? This is going to be a huge game for both of these teams. I’m taking Rivers and the coaching staff to once again find a way to blow it (bad time management did it against the Jets) and I’m giving the nod to the Chiefs on this one. Any given Sunday right?

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Atlanta
Huge win for the Falcons over the Lions last week, but it was still a sloppy game for them. They really need to take the week off and decide if they want to protect Matt Ryan for just a second longer in the pocket.

Bye Week at Chicago
Hi. We’re the Bears. Sometimes we can’t protect our QB. Sometimes our running game is second to none. Sometimes our defense actually shows up. Of course, it helps if we travel to London to do all those things. Maybe we’ll be consistent going forward.

Bye Week at Green Bay
The Packers go into their bye needing to… do nothing. Maybe tighen up on defense a little bit, but hell, this team is going 16-0. Superbowl. Back to back. Put the whole team on the cover of Madden 13. It’s the only way they’ll lose.

Bye Week at N.Y. Jets
The Jets defense saved their asses against the Chargers, a week after saving their asses against the Dolphins. The offense has really got to wake up, figure out who is going to run the ball. Thankfully, Sanchez finally met that Plaxico Buress guy.

Bye Week at Oakland
Boller got the start over Palmer, throws two picks (his first two passes.) Then Palmer comes in, throws three more. Weak sauce. Don’t expect this team to get any better without a consistent QB. It’ll be Palmer, and it better be quick or he’s back to retired.

Bye Week at Tampa Bay
I cannot get this team right. I pick them to lose, they win. I pick them to win, they lose. It’s like they read this column and say “you’ve hated on us for so many years, we’re just going to prove you wrong every week.” Fine. Then I’m back to hating. I rescind my pick for the Bucs for the playoffs. Fuck off and finish last in the division. A-holes.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 1

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Can Rodgers and the Packers start the season off right?

In the words of the great Shaquille O’Neal, “CAN YOU DIG IT?” The NFL season is finally, truly in all aspects upon us. It is time. Today is the day. The NFL season kicks off tonight so that means it’s time to lock those fantasy lineups and make your picks. Now, if this is your first time reading this column here’s how it works. I outline each matchup in the coming weekend. I list the lines and tell you who I think is going to win based on either in-depth analysis or just plain guessing. All results correct or your money back. Last year I went about 68% correct on the year, which beat the tar out of most of the so-called analysts on television and online. Fuck those boneheads. Every week I pick a featured game (usually the one they are showing on NBC since they seem to get the best matchups,) a stinker game and an upset special. So sit back, relax, and get ready – cause here we go.

Featured Game

New Orleans at Green Bay Line: -5.0
Anyone see this one coming? The season couldn’t open with a better game. Two superbowl quarterbacks, one legendary field and two highly offensive teams in prime time. That is, they have killer offenses, especially in the passing department. This game starting it off is no coincidence. The NFL needed to come back strong. You think starting it off with Oakland at Denver would have done that? I don’t think so. So here’s what we’ve got. Both teams made the playoffs last year, the Saints inexplicably dropped to Seattle in the first round. The Packers won the superbowl. Rodgers and Brees are neck and neck the best all around QB’s in the league now that Peyton and Brady are getting older. Though Brees isn’t a young buck anymore either. The key to this game is going to be whose defense has had enough time to properly get all cohesive and what not. Holes in the defense, and especially the secondary are huge issues with winning teams like this in the first couple weeks. You can tell pretty damn quick if they have their shit together. I’m thinking the Packers D, having more veterans and players who have stood next to each other longer will adjust to the Saints whacky offensive schemes quicker than the Saints would like. I’m taking Green Bay to win, with the points since they are at home, and I hate five point lines.

Tailgate City (the Rest)

Atlanta at Chicago Line: +1.0
Matt Ryan and crew still have a lot to prove. I thought for sure they would be playing for the NFC Championship last year, yet didn’t make it past the Packers, whom they got pistol whipped by. I’m thinking the only reason they are underdogs in this game is because the Bears did make it to the NFC Championship game, and might be riding high off that. Whatever. The Falcons have a superb running game, still employing running back by committee. It worked for them last year, as they led the league in rushing. The Bears have to close up the holes quickly and make sure their linebackers are watching for the play action. Once Ryan gets into a groove then it’s game over. I’m taking the Falcons to win on the road, because I think the Bears are still a bit shaky on defense and benefited last year from some shoddy matchups.

Cincinnati at Cleveland Line: -3.0
Wow. As a Cleveland fan it’s good to see them actually favored in the first game of the season. Of course, it’s more becauase everyone knows the Bungles are going to suck. Andy Dalton is unproven and frankly, he’s got very slim pickings in his receiver core. Not to mention that the Bungles defense is probably going to be terrible this year. On the other side, the Browns defense is looking good, expect them to make some big plays. But talking about big plays, if you don’t have a top notch run defense, you aren’t going to stop Peyton Hillis from making you look like a chump. That white boy can run, and run he will. Colt McCoy has all the poise and talent of a great QB, now it’s time to prove it. He can move, so that at least gives the O-line a bit of breathing room. Even though the Browns are favored, this game is going to be a blowout. Browns with the points and then some.

Buffalo at Kansas City Line: -6.5
If you have any offensive players on your fantasy team that play for the Chiefs, this is the week to start them for sure. The Bills have no defense. I mean, they have guys standing out there, pretending to be defensive players but I would not look for this team to produce anything in the way of defensive stops, turnovers or scores. As high scoring a team as the Chiefs are, the Bills are lucky they are only 7 point underdogs. The lines at the beginning of the season are such crap. The Chiefs will have a great home showing and this cupcake game (though don’t think of it like that as it is the NFL and anything can happen) is the start on the road to the playoffs. Kansas City to win, with the points.

Philadelphia at St. Louis Line: +4.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Oh shit, I gave it away. I picked this game to be the upset special of the week. Damn. This wasn’t off some coin toss or shaking the magic 8-ball (though that does help some weeks.) No, this is off me really not liking the direction of the Eagles offense and thinking that Andy Reid has lost his fucking mind. Ronnie Brown is a great addition to this team, but do you think he’ll be getting the ball during the play action? During designed runs? No, Vick will hog it (as he always does) and either make a big play or fail miserably. Defenses have already caught on to his bullshit and the Rams defense isn’t slacking. Neither is their offense. Sam Bradford is a good QB, with dangerous accuracy. You have to take this team seriously. I don’t think that Vick and the Eagles will, and I think that the overrated Philly team will lose game one. The Rams to upset at home.

Detroit at Tampa Bay Line: -3.0
If I had a feature called “I’m not sure game of the week” this would be it this week. The Bucs are actually going to be a good team this year, especially on offense, and the Lions are going to be fantastic on defense. It’s strange because in the past, both these teams (along with the Niners) were squarely on my “do not pick to win” list. Ever. So that worked out for me one year, when the Lions went 0-16. It’s hard to say if as a franchise they have rebounded from that, but a huge part of that was getting rid of Matt Millen. Millen proved that just cause you are an ex-player (he was a LB) doesn’t mean you can be a football executive. The exception is Ozzie Newsome, who is killing it as GM of the Ravens. But he rose up through the ranks, and wasn’t just handed the job. In the 2 years since Millen’s departure the Lions have started to hold their heads up high and the franchise and it’s fans feel good. So my warning to the Bucs is to watch out and protect that line. However, I’m taking the Lions to win on the road, just for shits and giggles.

Tennessee at Jacksonville Line: -2.5
David Garrard is A) sitting at home eating cheetos. b)starting for an NFL franchise. c)neither. My guess would be C. Garrard is probably driving around, asking every team in the league for a coveted back-up job. Why, after he was named the starter and seemed to be healthy and doing okay, did the Jaguars release him with no advance notice – in favor of Luke McCown. McCown has been in the league 7 years, won one game and will be a backup for the rest of his career, save for this start. Jack Del Rio is 65-63 as head coach of the Jags. How much money do you want to put on it that he’s out of a job midseason? The Jags are in a bit of a disarray, and this sudden change at QB and the subsequent one to move McCown back to backup isn’t going to help them win games. I’m taking the Titans on the road. Especially with the ever consistent Hasselbeck leading the team now.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore Line: -2.5
This is one of the best rivalries in the NFL today, but no one really seems to care because they aren’t the Patriots. The fact is that both these teams are very similar. They have tough up front defenses with killer speed in the secondary. They have offensive weapons galore and the addition of Boldin for the Ravens almost puts them over the top, if Hines Ward wasn’t so damn smooth. Rothlesberger vs. Flacco? One is a rough and tumble guy who can extend plays and gain yards, the other is a disgustingly accurate passer with a rocket for an arm and the eyes of an eagle. They might shake hands before the game, but for these two young QB’s (one who has three superbowl rings) they are sizing each other up. The Ravens defense is going to be after Ben like flies on shit. Like flies on crack on shit. I expect a whole ton of creative blitz packages. I expect the Steelers to answer with quick slants and some creative scrambling by Big Ben. This is a tough one, but I’m taking the Ravens at home. I’d almost say that point spread is nonsense, as these games usually come down to the last second.

Indianapolis at Houston Line: -2.0
I was going to take this as my upset special, but then I saw the line and that Houston is actually favored this week. I suppose I should be surprised by that, but I’m not now that I know that Peyton isn’t starting. I hate to say it, but the Colts and their offense are nothing without Peyton. He calls the plays at the line, has been doing so for years now. So what is Kerry Collins going to do? He’s not going to take over the offense, which means plays from the playbook which means defenses don’t have to scramble to figure out what is going on. Collins is a good QB for the most part, but he doesn’t have that Peyton magic that’s been running this team since he started playing. The Texans on the other hand have a team that is still on the cusp of being great. Schaub has the best hands receiver in the league to throw to in Andre Johnson and the best running back in the league bar far in Foster. There is no way the Colts are going to be able to score enough to keep up with Houston. Texans to win at home, with the points.

Carolina at Arizona Line: -3.0
According to most of the so-called experts, Cam Newton is the next big thing. Bigger than cottage cheese, or something like that. What do you think? I don’t think he’ll be a bust, but shit, the guy won’t be able to do it all himself his rookie year. But that’s the plan. He’s the starter and he’s going to have the weight of this rebuilding franchise square on his shoulders. Meanwhile, Arizona is relying on Eagles castoff Kevin Kolb to carry them through their shitty division. Now, the question surrounding Kolb is will he have the same type of success Matt Cassel has had in KC after getting out of Tom Brady’s shadow, or will Kolb simply bust out. He’s looked good in preseason, but has a new core of receivers to throw to – new to the team that is. Defense isn’t even a question at this point, as Carolina has none and the Cardinals only really need to worry about out of conference teams. For the purpose of this week, I’m taking the Cardinals to win at home, with the points and the so-called experts to realize Newton is not a god. He’s just a kid.

Minnesota at San Diego Line: -9.5
Donovan McNabb has a one year contract in Minnesota. I can probably put money down now that he won’t be starting for the whole year. I’m not saying McNabb is washed up, not yet – but he’s going to have a tough time adjusting to the different style of play in the NFC North. The Packers and Bears are going to destroy him defensively, and he gets frustrated really quickly. I’m not putting too much stock in this years Vikings team. The Chargers are the opposite. They come out of the gate firing, with strong offense and crazy stats. Though then, they fall. My guess is that it’s coaching shortcomings, because it can’t be Rivers. That dude gets too pissed off to be making the play calling mistakes himself, especially since he doesn’t call the plays. The powder blue wins games and I’m guessing they’ll be wearing them for week one. I’m taking the Chargers at home, though not with the points if you are betting on them, which I’m not.

Seattle at San Francisco Line: -6.0
Alex Smith has got to be thanking the football gods for his position. Whether or not he wins or loses, heads to the IR or whatever, he still seems to have a permanent place starting in San Francisco. Frankly I think this is the correct way to build a franchise around a quarterback, I mean, you actually have to do something though. The Niners have not given Smith the help he needs on offense or on the offensive line. They did spend a little shoring up the defense but they are clutching at straws here. This team has a long way to go to success, so why are they highly favored over Seattle in the first game of the season? Easy, no Matt Hasselbeck. He’s gone. So now what? Now Tavaris Jackson, who sucked beyond sucking in Minnesota takes the reigns, until he’s relieved for Whitehurst. Who then is relieved for Carson Palmer. Expect that phone call buddy. It’ll come. The Seahawks have made some crucial updates on the defense, but it won’t be enough, not with that hack Jackson throwing the ball. I’m taking the Niners at home. With the points.

New York at Washington Line: +3.0
Well, at least one Manning will be starting the season not holding his neck and a clipboard. However, if his offensive line doesn’t do a better job of keeping him off the ground, Eli could be sharing Peyton’s fate a lot sooner than he would want to. The Redskins are in for a rude awakening this season as they rival the 2008 Lions for worst record. There is no way this team will be competing at a high level, especially in the division they are in. The Giants have the offensive power and the defensive prowess to make this game a likely shut out. It’s too easy to pick the Giants, so I will. With the points.

Dallas at NY Jets Line: -4.0
On page 94 of the current issue of GQ magazine rests the picture you see on the right. It’s Jets QB Mark Sanchez. Of the photo spread, Mark knew he’d be getting some slack, but even Aaron Rodgers called him out saying “That’s embarrassing. Page 94 of the GQ thing here. That’s terrible.” And frankly, it is. In fact, it’s downright fucking hilarious. Sanchez, what in the hell are you thinking? Win a fucking superbowl before you start posing for any type of photo spread. You look like a cross between Marky Mark and The Situation. Anyway, the Cowboys should be back on par this year. Romo has exactly one game to get back to his old form, pre-injury, pre-Jessica Simpson. I think this first game of the season is when Romo shows everyone that he is the elite quarterback everyone thought that he was. With a stronger receiving core and an offensive line that seems more focused on protecting Romo, the Cowboys should come out of the gate firing. The only thing I question is Romo and the offense on the road against a good Rex Ryan led defense. They should have a bit of trouble getting deep passes into zone coverage, but should have fun doing so. I’m looking for the Cowboys to eke out a win in this one, upsetting the Jets.

New England at Miami Line: +4.0
The Patriots are scary good. I don’t see any team on the schedule that is going to be able to beat the Patriots, at home or on the road. A 14-2 season should be no problem. There might be a couple upsets, but the first Dolphins game without Ricky Williams, without Ronnie Brown and with pretty much a totally new offense isn’t going to be the one to do it. If I would be choosing an upset at some point, which I will, it’d be the Jets. Either way, Patriots to win on the road this week. With the point.

Oakland at Denver Line: -3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Saved the best for last right? Hell no. Thankfully this game is on at 10:15pm EST which means no one on the East Coast will be staying up to watch it, and the West Coast will be watching the news or something better like Jersey Shore. There is potential on both these teams, but between the QB issues on the Broncos staff and the issues at every angle on the Raiders staff, both these teams can look forward to a very disappointing season. Maybe I’m being too harsh, because the Broncos could have a good offense, at least in the running game if they shore up that offensive line. But that’s not going to matter. I’d look for a high scoring affair with this game, because both defenses have yet to show any signs of even moderate greatness. For the sake of picking, I’m taking the Broncos at home cause maybe they’ll put Quinn in at tight end.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: 2011 NFC Predictions

Thursday, August 11th, 2011

Yes. I'm predicting the Lions will reach the playoffs. What of it? (Image: US Presswire)

NFC East

NY Giants
All I gotta say for the Giants this year is good luck. The offensive line that once started 38 games in a row has all but dissolved, leaving Eli in a very unfortunate position. He has only been as successful as he has because of a strong O line, without that, he’s going to be in trouble. Not to mention the departure of TE Kevin Boss, who leaves behind a couple tight ends that may or may not be stars in the making. Expect Eli to be relying on his deep receivers to cover the slants, which will hurt them on the deep routes. The defense is a whole nother issue, as there are no clear cut leaders on that side of the ball. The Giants missed the playoffs last year with ten wins, they’ll miss the playoffs this year with less.

Dallas Cowboys
After giving up a team record 436 points last year, and finishing a weak ass 6-10, the Cowboys have brought in defensive mind Rob Ryan (and his massive stomach) to hopefully fix the holes. Bradie James, DeMarcus Ware and Marcus Spears have already been whining about the learning curve associated with Ryan’s defensive plans. However, these guys are veteran professionals and I expect that the Cowboys defense will be much, much stronger this year. Jason Garrett will be coaching again, and Tony Romo is returning as healthy as ever. So will the Cowboys compete in their division? I expect that they will. Will they make the playoffs? If their defense holds up, I expect that they will.

Washington Redskins
The Redskins went hogwild with departures & additions. Haynesworth, McNabb, Chris Wilson, Clinton Portis, Vonnie Holliday and more are gone. Incoming players include Tim Hightower, Donte Stallworth, Kellen Clemens and a slate of rookies. Shanahan is already putting the team in a funk, with making John Beck and Rex Grossman fight for the starting job. You can’t do that going into a season, he better make up his mind damn quick like. Neither of these QB’s can give this team a chance to win, so this is a really quick conversation. Expect the Redskins to suck, especially on the offensive side of the ball. The defense will probably end up scoring more points when all is said and done.

Philadelphia Eagles
Is this the team to beat in the NFC? On paper, sure, the Eagles are looking pretty hot. But I’m going to say this now – they won’t even win the division. Yes, the addition of Vick and Young will change the dynamic of the offensive game. Ronnie Brown will pick up where Westbrook left off, as far as the dominant running back. And the addition of Rodgers-Cromartie and Nnamdi Asomugha in the CB position will only make the defense stronger, but shit, it isn’t going to matter if Vick and/or Young fail. Vick is one side tackle or bad run away from another injury, while Young is about as consistent as a horse drawn carriage with Styrofoam wheels on a brick road. Not to mention a new rookie kicker, a defensive coordinator who was an offensive line coach since 1985 and an offensive line whom I still don’t have faith in to protect the QB. Sure, all this could add up to total win, or total disaster.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers
I’m still dancing from predicting at the beginning of the 2010 season that the Packers would win the Superbowl. Or at least go to the Superbowl. So what, do you think I should go two years in a row with that prediction? Well, Rodgers has plenty of targets to throw to, and his connection with Finley is only growing stronger. Hot running back James Starks will be competing with Ryan Grant for the starting job, with badass prospect Alex Green out of Hawaii
waiting right there to get in the game. The offense is no question going to be high scoring, high flying and lights out. The defense is also back and stronger than ever. Clay Matthews is joined by Brad Jones & Frank Zombo, all hungry and at full health. I don’t think this team will have the dreaded Superbowl hangover at all. I’m putting them right back in the playoffs, this time taking the division crown with them.

Chicago Bears
The Bears surprised everyone with their playoff run last year, even having a league worst 56 sacks allowed. However, no one was surprised by their late exit in the playoffs at the hands of the Packers. This year, they have shaken up the O-line in the hopes that Jay Cutler has time to throw to some new blood, courtesy of the Cowboys. Roy Williams, Marion Barber and Sam Hurd join the offensive ranks in Chicago. Also notable is Matt Spaeth coming in to replace Greg Olsen at tight end. The problem with the Bears is going to stem from an aging defense who is going to tire during the hot games, and freeze up during the cold ones. I’d expect some rookies to start rotating in midway through the season on the defensive side. Meanwhile, it’s going to be up to Devin Hester once again to force teams to make mistakes by being bold. He’s the spark of this team, but I don’t see that being enough to propel them back into the playoffs this year, save for the Vikings outlook, which isn’t that great.

Minnesota Vikings
The phone call never came. The reality of a Brett Favre-less universe hit the Vikings like a cold brick. Can Donovan McNabb lead this team to the playoffs? I don’t think so. Thankfully, they have a good rookie QB in Christian Ponder and it’s my advice to the Vikings to treat this like a rebuilding year and play the kid under McNabb, let the veteran show him the ropes and rebuild the team around him. McNabb has a one year deal, you know that Joe Webb won’t be playing QB so just start Ponder. Meanwhile, Sidney Rice is gone, replaced by Michael Jenkins who is just as fast. Harvin will move up to the number one receiver. The big deal is the defensive line, after coach Frazier released Bryant “Mount” McKinnie who was the most popular guy on the line. Yeah, he was out of shape and Frazier is all “I mean business” but it’s gonna fuck up morale. Already the line is showing signs of sucking. No playoffs for this team, not this year.

Detroit Lions
The Lions biggest challenge this year will be keeping their offensive line healthy, and having the depth to back them up when they are not. Stafford is back to throwing lasers, and all he needs is an offensive line that won’t let him touch the ground. The really good news for the Lions is the defense. Led by Ndamukong Suh, LB Stephen Tulloch (160 combined tackles last season) and Justin Durant, the front seven is looking strong – very strong. This is a defense that can break some records for the Lions and help this team push for a strong season. Playoffs? I dunno. At this point it’s really hard to tell if the offense is going to be able to score more points than the other teams offense, but again, it comes down to that O-line. Either way, the Lions will not suck this year, I expect them to compete at a high level, maybe even for a wild-card spot.

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I live in the Tampa Bay area, so I’ve been getting a lot of heat surrounding my picks for this division. Look, the Bucs are a young team this year – something we haven’t been able to say about them in a long, long time. Josh Freeman is the real deal at Quarterback and is the only reason Raheem Morris still has a job – as both the head coach and defensive coordinator. So can he successfully do both this year with defensive lynchpin Barrett Ruud leaving the team? The deal is going to be can the Bucs rush the ball? In the NFC South, the rush is more important than anything on offense. Yes, LeGarrette Blount rushed for over 1k yards last year but he’s clearly got an anger problem. And if he gets injured? Then what? Earnest Graham is so-so at best and who is Kregg Lumpkin? Thankfully, the Bucs can easily fall back on their strong receiving core. A surprising 10-6 last year, I can see them repeating that, if not doing better. A playoff spot awaits this team, as much as I hate saying that.

New Orleans Saints
The thing you have to understand about the Saints under coach Sean Payton is to expect the unexpected. Keeping that in mind, it was time for players like Reggie Bush & Jeremy Shockey to hit the road. I was a bit surprised that they released Gay, but perhaps he is aging a bit in the CB position. This division was so tough last year, the Saints at 11-5 were only good enough for second in the division and a wild-card, which they lost in a shocker to the Seahawks. Bush was almost a non-factor last year, which should make inserting Mark Ingram into the lineup even more interesting. He joins Pierre Thomas & Darren Sproles behind the O-line. There is no one singular “guy” which makes this team so dangerous. I mean, save for Drew Brees who had a bit of a down year in 2010. The only problems still lie a bit on defense, as they just couldn’t seem to rack up the sacks last year. I expect the Saints to slip a bit this year and have a half and half year.

Atlanta Falcons
After going 13-3 last year, then losing to the Packers in the NFC divisional round, the Falcons are looking to bounce back strong. Drafting Julio Jones from Alabama was definitely a step in the win now direction. This team is not rebuilding or taking a year off, they will be coming out of the gate firing. Defensive end Ray Edwards will be joining John Abraham on the line to help with the pass rush that seemed to be missing a bit last year. The Falcons need that pass rush to give their secondary that extra time to make the big plays that we know that they can. Matt Ryan is yet to win a post-season game as a starter, but I expect that to change this year as the Falcons once again take the division and head deep into the playoffs.

Carolina Panthers
If there is any team in rebuilding phase, it’s this one. They spent a ton of money re-signing core offensive and defensive line players, then topped that with the signing of Cam Newton. They also added Derek Anderson to join Jimmy Clausen on the bench in case Cam is a bust. At this point, I don’t think any of these quarterbacks gives this team a chance to win – at this point. The biggest problem for the Panthers is going to be all the coaching changes. New head coach Ron Rivera is joined by Rob Chudzinski as offensive coordinator and Sean McDermott as defensive coordinator. That’s a lot of new systems to learn in such a short period, and it will be interesting to see if they can catch on before they start worrying about finishing with another losing season.

NFC West

St. Louis Rams
This team is going to be interesting to watch this year. The loss of Oshiomogho Atogwe, who accounted for more takeaways than any other NFL player over the last six seasons will be felt in the secondary. They also picked up Cadillac Williams, a player never earning his potential and Jerious Norwood, both backing up the only reason this team wins at all – Stephen Jackson. New offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels should spice things up a bit, and considering the division they are in, they have a pretty damn good shot at winning it with a losing record. Gotta love that shit.

Arizona Cardinals
If the Rams don’t win the division, it’s going to be the Cardinals. Kevin Kolb is a lot better quarterback than people give him credit for, kind of like Matt Cassel. Now he’s got that rare second shot, riding high off his play with the Eagles. In addition, he’s got some new friends to throw the ball to in WR Chansi Stuckey and rookie DeMarco Sampson, the hot hands receiver from San Diego State. The questions looming are if Beanie Wells can carry the running game, and if playing rookies in the secondary is going to pay off. I say this will be an exciting team to watch, high scoring for sure, but if the defense can’t keep up with the other teams offense, it won’t matter.

Seattle Seahawks
The Hasselbeck era has come to a close, and so has the Seahawks surprising winning ways. Tavaris Jackson is the starting quarterback, with Charlie Whitehurst ready to inevitably relieve him. Neither QB is going to pull this team close enough to smell the playoffs, and they have an outside chance at a winning season. The good news is that with some recent re-signings and injury recoveries the defense is back on it’s feet. For the first half of last season, the Seahawks had the #2 run defense in the league, and that type of stat should return if they can stay healthy. If they can’t then we may as well write off the Seawhawks at that point, since the defense is going to be the only bright spot on this team. Pete Carroll is rebuilding this team, and they have a way to go.

San Francisco 49′ers
Hey, it’s Alex Smith and Braylon Edwards, together again. They were in the same draft class, and now they join each other on the field of battle. This will be a good combination to watch, it’s too bad that the Niners offensive line will be too shitty to give Smith a chance to get off those lovely deep passes to Edwards. The Niners are in for a shock this season, as if their 6-10 record last year was a shock. New head coach Jim Harbaugh has his work cut out for him this year for sure. The Niners fans will be hanging their heads for most of the season unfortunately.

Next week: AFC Predictions

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Wild-Card Weekend

Thursday, January 6th, 2011
Rodgers vs. Vick

Rodgers and Vick - who will prevail? (Images: AP)

What needs to be said about this past season that hasn’t been said by a million other sports pundits? It was a wild NFL season with lots of drama, lots of Randy Moss whining, lots of coaches getting fired and of course – Brett Favre’s average sized shlong. Yes, it was a typical NFL season in America.

As the regular season came to a close, I couldn’t help but wonder about the shining turds playing as the NFC West champions. With their back-up QB, they beat the best/worst team in the NFC West to secure a spot in the playoffs with a losing record. What a shame that the NFL is allowing this to happen. If this doesn’t scream for a rule change, I don’t know what does. Hell, I hate to root for the Bucs, but they should have gotten in over the Seahawks, actually it would have been the Giants. Fuck the Bucs.

Well, here we are in the playoffs and I’m a bit depressed. This means that I only have a few NFL columns left to write this season, not to pick up again until August with my AFC & NFC previews. Until then, I figured that I’d fill this space with random sports news of the week, adding in my awesome commentary. Cause that’s how I roll. Anyway, it’s Wild-Card weekend, let’s get our picks on!

No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 3 Indianapolis Colts (10-6)
The Jets have found themselves in the playoffs even through controversy, mediocre offense and Mark Brunnell taking the snaps to give Sanchez a rest. Of course, the game against the Bills had no impact on their playoff spot. They are the Wild-Card and they are traveling to Lucas Oil to get beat by the Colts. Whoops, did I give that away too soon? No matter how the Colts played during the season, they finished strong and with a lot of injuries to their starters. The rest of the team stood up, and they made a run with Peyton at the helm to get ‘er done and put the Jags and Titans down to secure the division. The Jets are good, especially on run defense. The Colts will have trouble running against them, which is to be expected. But it’s Peyton’s arm they should be afraid of. Meanwhile, the Colts have to watch out for the same for Sanchez. The key to victory for the Colts is shutting down the deep ball and forcing the Jets to keep it short. Nearly the same for the Colts. However, I’m sticking with Peyton in this one, so that they can eventually lose to the Patriots. Colts at home.

No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 4 Seattle Seahawks (7-9)
No no no no no. The Seahawks do not belong. This is like one of those pictures where everything looks the same and the question is “what doesn’t belong?” The Seahawks, that’s what. They don’t belong. The Giants should have been let in the playoffs with a 10-6 record, or even the Bucs over the 7-9 Seahawks. That being said, they went up against the Rams last week in a win it or go home game and they won it. So you’ve got to give them credit for that. Not only that, but they did it with backup QB Charlie Whitehurst rather than Hasselbeck, who still may not start this weekend when the Saints come into town. The only thing that the Seahawks have going for them, especially against a good team is Leon Washington returning punts. Know how to nullify him? Kick it out of bounds. Even as banged up as the Saints are, and having to travel to the west coast, the Seahawks won’t be able to stop or slow down the offense. This should be a blowout. Saints on the road.

No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 4 Kansas City Chiefs (10-6)
The Chiefs have had a very impressive season, finishing not only with a winning record but with one of the best offenses in the league. They strike with speed and wicked precision from Matt Cassel. However, without him they seemed to stumble and Cassel, while not a true pocket passer, loses a lot of his accuracy when he’s rushed. The Ravens, they like to rush quarterbacks. They put the pressure on and keep the pressure on and they usually do it with a three man front. Ed Reed is a monster in the secondary and will get in front of at least one ball in this game to take it away. The Chiefs have a slight advantage at home, and in order to win they need to strike fast and quick and rely on their defense to keep the game close. Flacco is cool under pressure, but he’s gotta be able to hand the ball off quickly as the defensive front for the Chiefs is quick and strong. I’m going out on a limb here, but the Chiefs have had a hell of a run and the Ravens will lose to the Steelers anyway. I’m taking the Chiefs at home.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 3 Philadelphia Eagles (10-6)
The Packers opened up their season with a win at Philly. Now they return to Philly to face Vick instead of Kolb. The Packers beat the Bears in a very convincing win to push their way into the playoffs ahead of the Giants and the Bucs. Rodgers has been beat up this year, the running game has been suspect and the defense has had a few bad days – especially in the secondary. However, towards the end of the season they tightened up and became quite formidable. The Packers defense will have the daunting task of keeping Vick contained. That’s really the only key to the game, keep Vick contained and they should win. Vick still runs when he senses a defensive back or linebacker, sometimes ill advised. Yes, he cuts out a big play every once in a while, but pay attention to the failures in his run – especially when he gets pressured and the secondary is keeping up their coverage. Think back to the Chicago loss, that’s exactly what they did. The Packers need to do the same. If not, the Eagles will definitely win this game. However, I think the Packers defense can contain Vick, so I’m taking the Packers to win on the road and advance.

That’s it. Wild-Card weekend in four paragraphs. Next week: playoffs round two.

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NFL Preview: NFC Predictions

Monday, September 6th, 2010
Dance Party!

Will Favre & the Vikings be dancing their way into the playoffs?

Last week we took a look at the AFC in preparation for the upcoming season, this week I took a couple minutes out of my day contemplating which college football games to watch to make some equally wild NFC predictions. Yes, I am aware the win/loss math might not add up, but you get the picture. Frankly, I could have fixed it but I was having problems opening Excel, nah, that’s a lie. Just lazy is all. Anyway, here are my NFC predictions for 2010. Enjoy.

NFC North

Chicago Bears Last Season: 7-9 I will hereby refer to the Bears at the Bucs of the North. Because they too, will suck. Really, this is all it took for me to see that this team does not have it’s shit straight. Coach Lovie Smith says Devin Hester won’t return kickoffs. Are you kidding? The one highlight on this formerly great franchise isn’t being allowed to do what he does best. Hester makes a mediocre receiver at best, but a game changing and dynamic kick returner. Now, Smith could be just trying to not show his hand on this, but we’ll find out week one I suppose. With Hester returning kicks, the Bears could be unpredictably good. Without? Boring and unispired. Predicted Finish: 8-8

Green Bay Packers Last Season: 11-5 Aaron Rodgers came out from under the shadown of Favre and it was good. Even though they bit it in the playoffs last year, the Packers had a lot going for them on offense and the defense just keeps getting better. Rodgers will be the caliber quarterback that he looks like, even with the beard. The Packers will go deep into the playoffs this year and I’m actually predicting them to go all the way to the Superbowl. Predicted Finish: 14-2

Minnesota Vikings Last Season: 12-4 Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. And they’ll lose twice to the Packers. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Detroit Lions Last Season: 2-14 Two words. Ndamukong Suh. The Lions have had the worst defense in the league for three straight years. Perhaps Suh can change that. Stafford is looking like a real live NFL quarterback. However, this is still the Detroit Lions and they have a perrineal habit of losing. Ah, what the hell, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say Suh gives them an extra win just from bostlering the defense just a little bit. Predicted Finish: 3-13

NFC East

New York Giants Last Season: 8-8 Tom Coughlin needs to go. Since his Superbowl win, he’s slowly been losing control of the team. It’s this odd thing, but the Giants constantly seem stressed out. Eli Manning doesn’t have the composure that his older brother has, it seems like he’s always frustrated at his offensive line or at the slumping defensive line. The success of this team rests on how well they do in the division, as it does for all of the East. With McNabb still around, the Cowboys offense and well, the Eagles existing, this could be a rough year for the Giants. Predicted Finish: 7-9

Dallas Cowboys Last Season: 11-5 This is a tought team to call. Wade Phillips is a good coordinator, but he tends to fall apart in the playoffs. I know he’s the head coach, but still. Whiner Patrick Crayton is gone, thankfully, which means that Miles Austin will be the star receiver in Dallas. The Romo to Austin connection will be frequent, but not as frequent as that Romo to Whitten connection. The real question with the Cowboys is once they get to the playoffs, can they keep their shit together? I think this is going to be an exciting team to watch this year, but fans could be setting themselves up for another letdown. Especially in this division, which tends to be tough on itself. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Philadephia Eagles Last Season: 11-5 Hey, it’s Kevin Kolb! The Eagles were the Cowboys bitch last year, losing a record three times to Dallas. How in the hell this team made the playoffs I have no idea. Oh yeah, with the running of McNabb and Westbrook. While McNabb will be scrambling on almost every play in Washington, Westbrook is no longer part of the Eagles franchise. Could Andy Reid not see past the lunch buffet to realize that this team needs the strong ground attack skills of both McNabb and Westbrook? Kolb is a drop back passer, that puts a lot more pressure on the offensive line that caused McNabb to run for his life so many times. Hey, at least they have Michael Vick. Predicted Finish: 8-8

Washington Redskins Last Season: 4-12 I’d like to start with a quote from my 2004 pre-season preview, “As long as Snyder is in the house, the Skins’ will not see the playoffs except for on television.” I still hold this statement to be true, no matter how good this team might look on paper, no matter how many upsets they can pull off against Dallas, with Snyder running the show they will be a terrible franchise. Constant coach turnover, constant coordinator turnover, I’m surprised McNabb signed there. Donovan McNabb will have to play his former team twice this year, and he’ll be lucky if they can carry him away from those games in one piece. Another player fighting retirement, McNabb is in for a rude awakening. Welcome to the land of no pocket protection Donovan. Predicted Finish: 3-13

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Last Season: 3-13 There isn’t much to say about the Suckaneers, as they are affectionatly referred to in my home area of Tampa Bay. Since their Superbowl run this team has steadily declined, losing Monte Kiffen in the middle of the season was the last crack in their already fragile spine. Two young quarterbacks, an even younger coach and highly questionable running backs and wide receivers. I’m sure Kellen Winslow is loving his decision now. That was sarcasm. The Bucs suck and will suck. The only reason I’m giving them four wins is because they play the Browns. Predicted Finish: 4-12

Carolina Panthers Last Season: 8-8 Any Cats fans out there? No? Finally ditching Delhomme for Matt Moore seemed to be a good call last year for the Panthers. Picking up Clausen in the draft was also a good call because after all, this is the NFC south. Collar bones will be broken. The strong point with this team has always been their ground attack, expect more of the same this year. I’m talking to you defensive coordinators out there. The NFC South plays the AFC North this year in cross conference play, so this should be interesting because all three AFC North teams have strong run defenses (save for the Browns, who suck.) I don’t see the Panthers overcoming the defenses they’ll be up against to do better than last year. Predicted Finish: 8-8

New Orleans Saints Last Season: 13-3 I would love to say that Drew Brees and the high flying Saints offense will be back on top this year, headed straight back to the Superbowl. I think they playoffs are in their future, but knowing what we know – that’s a stretch. So what is it that we know? Well, Drew Brees graced the cover of Madden 11. We all know about the Madden curse? Right? Yeah, I know that’s some serious voodoo, but Brees is doomed. Aside from all that, the offense hasn’t changed much since last year, so the playoffs should be a lock as long as Brees can fight the curse. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Atlanta Falcons Last Season: 9-7 The Falcons are no longer a team to be ignored. Finishing the season by beating the Jets, the addition of Michael Turner last year seemed to help the ground game. Matt Ryan is on his way to becoming a great quarterback. However, this is a tough division to be in this year, as the other teams are heavy on the defensive end of things and Atlanta’s defense, not looking too fantastic. However, the only offensive minded team they have to worry about is the Saints, and we already know why they are doomed. Predicted Finish: 12-4

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks Last Season: 5-11 Am I the only one that thinks Matt Hasselbeck is just looking tired? Tired of playing for a team that lost to the Steelers in the Superbowl and hasn’t seemed to recover? Tired of playing in the rain, tired of throwing interceptions and just plain tired. How is this guy still playing? Is he on Zoloft or something? And now stuck with Pete Carroll hopping off the USC train to go back and take another shot at the NFL? And dealing with the loss of T.J. Houshmanzada? Ouch. Too many questions with this team, I predict doom. Predicted Finish: 6-10

San Francisco 49′ers Last Season: 8-8 Mike Singletary didn’t do half bad last year. A lot of times ex-players as coaches tend to bomb. However, Singletary didn’t take crap from anyone and pushed his team to perform. Frank Gore is damn fun to watch and Alex Smith looked like a bonafide NFL Quarterback. Sadly, there was one player Singletary rolled over for, Michael Crabtree. Without Crabtree, before giving into his ridiculous salary demands, the Niners were 8-5. After signing Crabtree, 5-7. Bad mojo abounds. Thankfully, being in the single worst division in football kind of helps. Predicted Finish: 9-7

Arizona Cardinals Last Season: 10-6 Matt Leinart will finally be getting the start over the now retired Kurt Warner. Wait, the Cardinals dumped Leinart? Really? Ok, so Derek Andersen will get the start after being shedded like dead skin from the Browns roster. Gone from the Cardinals are Antrel Rolle, Karlos Dansby and Anquan Boldin. Ken Whisenhunt is still there though, and he’s managed to turn this franchise around from the laughing stock they used to be. It all comes down to quarterback protection and clock management, something the Cardinals struggled with in the playoffs last year. If not for being in the worst division currently in football, playoffs wouldn’t be in their future. Predicted Finish: 11-5

St. Louis Rams Last Season: 1-15 Who cares? Sam Bradford cries himself to sleep every night. Predicted Finish: 2-14

So, if you missed it, my rundown for the playoffs:

NFC North: Packers
NFC East: Cowboys
NFC West: Cardinals
NFC South: Falcons
Wild Cards: Vikings, Saints

Stay tuned on Thursday for NFL Week One Predictions!

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