Posts About ‘Patriots’

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 8

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

Can Brady do it again vs. the Steelers?

Week 8 is when the depression of losing sets in. I went a dismal 7-6 last week, and I want to cut out my eyes and dip them in acid. I wouldn’t bet on my picks if you forced me. Yet, I’m still hanging at 66% on the year (68-35) so that’s not too bad. So last week had some challenging games, a lot of upsets and some surprise wins. The biggest of course being the Denver Tebows over Miami. All the pundits are of course blaming the Denver win on Miami’s failure to play competent football, and claiming Tebow was terrible for 55 minutes and good for 5.

Honestly, the whole team was terrible for 55 minutes. Then they came together in the last 5. Tebow was steady, but damn, how can they expect the guy to pass the ball when the pocket collapses as soon as he takes a step back? If they can’t protect against Miami, how are they going to fare against the Lions this week? Of course he was sacked and rushed. He still escaped often and made the big plays when it mattered, so all you Tebow haters can suck it. The kid is the real deal and just needs some help from his team.

In other NFL news, even Browns fans turned off the game last week due to abject boredom. Here’s to a more exciting week of football. On with the picks!

Featured Game:

New England at Pittsburgh Line: +1.5
This is always a good one, for the Patriots. The Pats got a break last week and come off the bye to face their toughest opponent before facing the Bills again. The Steelers just tossed around the Cardinals after teasing them a bit. But here’s the thing, no matter how good these two teams are, on defense (Steelers) and offense (Pats) and how many Superbowls they’ve won over the past years, Tom Brady simply owns the Steelers. Brady is 6-1 against Pittsburgh, only losing back in 2004. In the six wins, Brady has 14 touchdowns and one interception. His last four games against the Steelers have included a 70.9 completion percentage, nine touchdowns, one pick, and a yards-per-attempt average of 8.79. You can’t argue with the statistics. So how can you even think about taking the Steelers after how they’ve really not dominated this year at all? You have to stick with the Pats. However, this is going to be a fun game to watch and if you have any Pittsburgh players on your fantasy team, play them. The Patriots are likely to give up a ton of points, but not more than it takes for them to win. Patriots on the road.

Tailgate City (the Rest:)

Indianapolis at Tennessee Line: -9.0
Last week the Titans rolled over and got their fudge packed in by the Texans. Hasselbeck was terrible, Chris Johnson was nonexistent and the rest of the team just kind of stood there as the Texans whipped up on them. Do I think they re-surge this week and get a huge home win to keep in the running for the division or will the Colts buck up and win a fucking game? The Colts didn’t fare much better (worse actually) against the Saints, but at least it looked like they were trying. I’d like to nominate Peyton Manning for the MVP. No one man has meant more to a team than him. The Colts, Dolphins and Rams will be drafting QB’s 1-2-3 next year, the first time that has happened since 1999. Unless one of them actually gets their shit together. It won’t be the Colts this week. They just don’t have enough to win. Titans at home. Not with the points though. I don’t think they are that good right now. Though if Chris Johnson can’t get it done against the Colts terrible rushing defense, then I’m writing him off for the rest of the season.

New Orleans at St. Louis Line: +13.0
If you thought that the Saints vs. Colts game was a mismatch, wait until the Saints travel to St. Louis this weekend and whip up on the Rams. New Orleans stopped passing after the half last week, yet still ran up the score. They couldn’t help it. Expect more of the same this week, but the Rams could put up a bit of a fight. Not on run defense of course, since they have one of the worst in the league. New receiver Brandon Lloyd might get going this game, but the Rams will need a whole lot more than one receiver to get this offense going. Saints on the road.

Miami at NY Giants Line: -10.0
Hey, Miami signed J.P. Losman. Won’t help. The Dolphins are horrid. Was it play calling that lost the game for them against the Broncos? Was it the magic of Tim Tebow? Or was it just really, really bad offense and QB play? It was all those things and more. The Dolphins are in the “suck for Luck” mode for sure, so I’m not picking them the rest of the season. I’m gunning for them to go 0-16. Not only that, but Sprano still inexplicably has a job, yet the Fins are already making phone calls. This does not bode well. The Giants, coming off a bye are looking like they could make the NFC East even tougher than it is. Expect them to rack up crazy stats against the Dolphins, or get upset. Either way, I’m not picking the Fins. Giants to win.

Minnesota at Carolina Line: -4.0
A nice quality win for the Panthers last week. Newton looked solid, going 18 for 23 for 256 yards and two TD’s – one rushing. He’s got seven of those this season. Nice on the defensive side too, as they racked up the sacks and a key interception (aren’t they all?) On the other side, Ponder looked good against the Packers last week, but c’mon, that was the Packers. He wasn’t going to win. This should be an interesting game between two decisively different rookie QB’s. I don’t think the Vikings have the contain down on the QB, give Newton time and he’s gonna go all A-Team on the secondary, especially with Steve Smith still out there catching passes. Rush him, and he’ll scramble, but I don’t see the Vikings successfully breaking through that often. Panthers to win at home.

Arizona at Baltimore Line: -13.0
Did anyone think the Cardinals would beat the Steelers? This team hasn’t played good football since Warner left. They gave Kolb that huge contract, but took his supporting players away from him. With a receiver core that isn’t as good as it used to be, and a running back that can’t get his legs under him, the Cardinals offense is simply terrible. There is hope for this team though, they are in the NFC West. The Ravens played a defensive struggle against the Jaguars, both teams played very well on that end. They did allow over 100 rushing yards to MJd though. But the Cardinals don’t have that kind of defense, the Ravens should be back to form this week, you know, scoring points on both offense and defense. Ravens to win.

Jacksonville at Houston Line: -9.5
Wait, did the Jags actually beat the Ravens? They did! They did it with astoundingly stout defense and a massive running game from Maurice Jones-Drew. Good for them, because they have looked pathetic all season. The Ravens are notorious for their run defense, yet gave up all those yards. But hell, they are seriously outmatched against the division leading Texans. Arian Foster is having a good season now that he’s back from injury. He’s going to test the Jax front line for sure. The Houston Texans have too many weapons for the Jags to stop, but then, that’s what I said about the Ravens. I think the Texans are a much more complete team though, and can stop the run a bit better and not get bogged down on offense. Texans at home.

Washington at Buffalo Line: -4.0
The Bills are comfortably coming off a bye heading into this game in Toronto. They have had a nice season so far, scoring a shit ton of points and highlighting the awesome running of undrafted back Fred Jackson. This counts as a home game for them, as like the Buffalo Sabres, they may as well reside in Toronto because they have a huge fan base there. Meanwhile, the Redskins defense, usually stingy, gave up a bunch of yards to the rush last week, so I don’t think they’ll shore that up in a week. John Beck, Rex Grossman – it doesn’t matter. The Redskins are inconsistent at best. Like it matters, I was gonna pick the Bills anyway. Bills to win at home.

Detroit at Denver Line: +3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Here’s the deal with the Lions, all the goodwill they have been building by winning, they lose when players like Suh get all dirty and shit. And I’m not talking about a lack of personal hygiene. I’m talking about blatant facemasking, yanking a QB’s head around like it’s a maypole. I’m talking about players rolling up on a QB’s ankle and other thuggery. The refs took notice, nailing the Lions for a ton of penalties, ultimately costing them the game. Was it worth it? The refs might be cracking down, but Suh should have been thrown out of the fucking game for that bullshit. His arm was wide out, full grab for the face. Thrown out and suspended for 3 games. I see it too much at the Pee-Wee level, kids playing just as violent. I’ve seen little thugs stomp on players while they are down, clothesline and more. At the 8-9 year old level. While their idiot parents cheer them on and the refs do nothing for fear of reprisal. What the fuck is wrong with this picture? Anyway, the Denver Tebows mounted a furious comeback against Miami, so no matter how terrible they played up to that point, they won the fucking game so all you Tebow haters can suck it. Denver is still terrible on both sides of the ball, and I know the Lions have more offensive power than the Broncos D can handle, but just for the hell of it, fuck it if I’m wrong but I’ll look awesome if I’m right – the Lions continue their skid and the Broncos and Tim Tebow win. Denver at home.

Cleveland at San Francisco Line: -9.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
You mean after that three point drubbing that the Browns gave the Seahawks last week in what was probably the most boring game of the season, the Browns aren’t less than a 10 point underdog? Weak. That’s just weak. Every one keeps saying that perhaps the Browns are better than they are, perhaps they are but outside of defense, the Browns haven’t showed anything recently that would give me the impression that they are nothing but a cobbled together team of young players that could do well in the future. Last week the defense was fantastic, but it was the offense that couldn’t get anything started. This week they travel to the West coast to fight the Niners, who are coming off a bye after a win over the Lions in rough fashion. The Browns, while I’d love to pick them since they are my boys, are not going to win this game because of the offensive problems. There could be an upset here, but I don’t think so. I hope so, but don’t think so. Niners to win at home.

Cincinnati at Seattle Line: +2.5
So the Seahawks got shut down on all offensive fronts by the Browns, and lost. Their defense played well I suppose, blocking a few field goals, but I think it was the lack of a Browns offense that kept the scoring low. Real low. Finally they go home after a couple weeks on the road, and they welcome another AFC North opponent to their house. Can Whitehurst and the boys rebound and beat the Bengals? Also coming off a bye, this team is the most surprising 4-2 team. Andy Dalton is coming around quite nicely as a starting QB, his mistakes are starting to disappear. The only issues remain at running back, as Benson has been sidelined for a bit. I’m looking for the Bengals to add to their win total here on the road, which should make their next game against the Steelers that much more interesting. Bengals to win.

Dallas at Philadelphia Line: -3.0
The Eagles needed a bye week to settle down. Are they settled? Well, a strong divisional game will show us if they are. What needs to be settled? Well, Vick needs to show that he’s worth that big contract and actually stick in the pocket and throw a pass, while the lack of a secondary needs to be addressed. The run defense isn’t spectacular either. Which should be interesting against rookie DeMarco Murray, who broke Emmitt Smith’s rushing record for a single game in a Cowboys uniform. The Cowboys are gearing up. They got a slow start and are going to be scary to face very shortly in the future, that is, they are going to be an offensive powerhouse – if Tony Romo can get his head out of his ass. Either way, I’m going against the grain here and going with the Cowboys to win because I really don’t like the Eagles, I said they weren’t going to be as good as people say they are and I like to be right. Cowboys. Offense. Win.

San Diego at Kansas City Line: +3.5
Finally. Finally the Chiefs looked like they do on paper. Finally the offense blew up. Finally the running game got going. Finally the passing game, the defense and Matt Cassel woke the fuck up. They trashed the Raiders, ran Boller out of the game and looked damn good. Can they do it again, at home against a Chargers team that has it’s number one weapon in Antonio Gates back on the field? Can they prove that they are not to be counted out just yet and the start of the year was just a fluke? Or was last week a fluke? This is going to be a huge game for both of these teams. I’m taking Rivers and the coaching staff to once again find a way to blow it (bad time management did it against the Jets) and I’m giving the nod to the Chiefs on this one. Any given Sunday right?

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Atlanta
Huge win for the Falcons over the Lions last week, but it was still a sloppy game for them. They really need to take the week off and decide if they want to protect Matt Ryan for just a second longer in the pocket.

Bye Week at Chicago
Hi. We’re the Bears. Sometimes we can’t protect our QB. Sometimes our running game is second to none. Sometimes our defense actually shows up. Of course, it helps if we travel to London to do all those things. Maybe we’ll be consistent going forward.

Bye Week at Green Bay
The Packers go into their bye needing to… do nothing. Maybe tighen up on defense a little bit, but hell, this team is going 16-0. Superbowl. Back to back. Put the whole team on the cover of Madden 13. It’s the only way they’ll lose.

Bye Week at N.Y. Jets
The Jets defense saved their asses against the Chargers, a week after saving their asses against the Dolphins. The offense has really got to wake up, figure out who is going to run the ball. Thankfully, Sanchez finally met that Plaxico Buress guy.

Bye Week at Oakland
Boller got the start over Palmer, throws two picks (his first two passes.) Then Palmer comes in, throws three more. Weak sauce. Don’t expect this team to get any better without a consistent QB. It’ll be Palmer, and it better be quick or he’s back to retired.

Bye Week at Tampa Bay
I cannot get this team right. I pick them to lose, they win. I pick them to win, they lose. It’s like they read this column and say “you’ve hated on us for so many years, we’re just going to prove you wrong every week.” Fine. Then I’m back to hating. I rescind my pick for the Bucs for the playoffs. Fuck off and finish last in the division. A-holes.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 7

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Can Matt Ryan lead his offense against the Lions to victory?

Another week passes by in this glorious NFL season, and another sub-par selection of winners. I went 8-5 last week, no thanks to the Bills choking. All you had to do was run the fucking ball to kill some clock, then kick the game winning field goal. But no, you are going to pass to the exact same receiver on the same pattern that your last interception came on. That was idiotic. Didn’t Fitzpatrick go to Harvard? Meanwhile, the Bucs are proving me wrong every week, which if you’ve read this column for more than a year is an annual occurrence. I don’t know what it is, I cannot pick that team correctly. Maybe it’s cause I hate them so very very much. Then, the Lions lost in a game full of mistakes on both sides. So those are three picks right there that I really wish would have gone my way. Well, if wishes were turds, I’d have to flush. So that brings me to 61-29 (68%) on the season. In the big picture, that ain’t bad. Here’s what the ESPN guys are doing:

Allen 59 31 66%
Golic 66 24 73%
Hoge 64 26 71%
Jaws 61 23 73%
Mortensen 54 36 60%
Schefter 61 29 68%
Schlereth 63 27 70%
Wichersham 62 28 69%
Accuscore 64 26 71%

Really that math should be recalculated, as some of them haven’t picked all the games. There have been 90 games, yet Jaws has only picked 84. I just want to beat Accuscore by the end of the year. The worst picks by any so-called expert have to belong to this guy. 

It should also be noted, scoring was way down last week, I think that the defensive secondaries of most teams are finally starting to wake the fuck up. A lot less blown coverages and big defensive plays are showing that the lockout hangover might have finally worn off. Now, on with the picks!

Featured Game

Atlanta at Detroit Line: -4.5
Well, I was wrong about the Lions. I said they’d be undefeated come Thanksgiving, but a lack of run defense and some serious red-zone penalties kept them behind San Francisco last week. Even though the Niners gave them plenty of chances to bounce back. The Lions could be in trouble this week (and my fantasy team) as Javid Best might be sidelined after suffering a concussion last week. They shipped in Ronnie Brown from Philly, but he’s yet to pass the physical. So there goes the running game. But Stafford, Calvin Johnson and the tight ends can carry the offense, but not without the play action. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out. Thankfully, they are at home where the noise is sure to fluster Matt Ryan, who likes to call plays at the line. Might want to start practicing those hand signals now Matt. If the Lions give up the kind of yards on the ground they gave up to the Niners, they will lose this game. I’m torn, but I’m sticking with the Lions just cause I have more fantasy players on that team.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Seattle at Cleveland Line: -3.0
The Browns. What can be said about my team? Well, Colt looked alright against the Raiders, but it wasn’t until the last five minutes. Whatever they did on their bye week didn’t seem to have worn off. Hillis was a non-factor, leaving with a hamstring injury. Madden Curse anyone? The Browns were pathetic. The Seahawks are just coming off a bye week and have to roll to the east coast again. Though last time, they managed to win the game late with some smart defense. I’ll buy that. Charlie Whitehurst looks to be getting the start over Tavaris Jackson, which could actually be a good thing for the Seahawks, looking to find that magic they lost when Hasselbeck left. I’m going to go against my gut on this one though, and take the Browns to win at home. I’ll probably be wrong (as I usually am when I follow my gut) but I gotta pick my boys every once in while right?

Houston at Tennessee Line: -3.0
The Texans could not get the running game going against the Ravens last week, and that killed them. The Titans aren’t going to make it easy for the Texans this week, as this game may as well be a playoff for the division. Both have massive losses at wide receiver, both teams haven’t been able to really establish a running game. Both teams have defenses that can be up at times, down at others. This is a very evenly matched game. Houston’s defense might be a bit stronger, but they have to find a way to control the bevy of tight ends that the Titans employ. Are they blocking or running slants? No one knows! Titans to win at home.

Denver at Miami Line: -3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
How’s this for lame. Before the game, Miami plans on honoring the 2008 Florida Gator National Championship Team – including visiting QB Tim Tebow. Talk about degrading. Not only will this fire up Tebow and the Denver Broncos with false bravado, but it will totally demoralize the Dolphins. Why in the hell are they still going through with this idiotic presentation? The original idea was to sell tickets, but now? It’s just moronic. “We can’t get out of our own way,” said Sparano. Of course, he was referring to the play of his team, rather than the poor decisions by the marketing department. It should also be noted, that after losing to Denver (as Miami will) Sparano is probably going to be out of a job. If he isn’t, I’ll be surprised. That being said, the Miami Dolphins have nothing to give any pundit a reason to pick them. Denver on the road.

Chicago at Tampa Bay Line: +1.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Apologies to both the Bears and the Bucs. The London game is always an automatic crap fest. One team is always tired and plays like shit, it always rains and the crowd is confused and the stadium is never full. These games are a bit depressing to watch sometimes. Either way, it doesn’t matter what happened last week, the Bucs will win this game because they flew over to London on Monday, giving the guys time to adjust and get a proper amount of sleep. Meanwhile, the Bears opted to practice at home this week, then fly over on Saturday. Bone-head move guys. The Bucs already learned that lesson once, and that’s torture on the body with the time change. Fatigue is going to be the enemy of the Bears, which is why the Bucs will win.

Washington at Carolina Line: -3.0
The Redskins found some mystical way to lose against the Eagles, even though their defense smacked around Vick. The problem was pretty clear, as Rex Grossman tossed four picks to the Eagles defense. He was benched, and now John Beck is going to be the starter. That’s good news, because the kid can run. Sure, he’ll make mistakes but like Tebow he’s got a weak defense his first week out. Meanwhile, Cam and the boys almost pulled one out of their asses last week against the Falcons, but three interceptions killed them. Not to mention allowing a comeback. I expect this game to go about the same, though I can see an upset brewing. Though since the Panthers are favored on the line, it wouldn’t be an upset. Anyway, like an awkward virgin on prom night, the Panthers can’t seem to seal the deal. Redskins on the road.

Kansas City at Oakland Line: -3.5
Raiders Offensive coordinator Al Saunders said about Carson Palmer starting; “As long as he’s breathing.” Sorry Boller, you are nothing but pine warmer. Palmer was acquired by Oakland from the Bungles for a draft pick or something. Either way, it’s a good deal for the Raiders, but don’t you think Palmer will be a bit rusty coming back from semi-retirement? Especially with only four days to learn the plays in Oakland? Thankfully, he’s up against the Chiefs. Now, the Chiefs aren’t terrible, but they sure have not been playing lights out defense. What’s that? They are terrible? Oh, yeah, so they are. The Raiders, coming off a win over the hapless Browns are fired up, looking at a serious run for the playoffs. Kansas City will be a minor speed bump. Raiders to win at home.

Pittsburgh at Arizona Line: +4.0
A lot of so-called experts are picking the Cardinals to somehow snap out of their mediocrity and beat the Steelers. While the Steelers defense and run game took a little while to get going, it’s going. The Cardinals defense is also not going to have an answer for the deep threat of Ben to Wallace. Not to mention that Hines Ward guy still plays football – apparently. Either way, Kolb isn’t nearly as sharp as he appeared to be as backup in Philly. The Cardinals are probably looking to enter the Andrew Luck lottery as well. A loss here will help. Steelers to win on the road in this rematch of that one Superbowl where Arizona lost.

St. Louis at Dallas Line: -10.5
I really wanted to make this one my upset special this week, but I just picked up the Dallas defense in fantasy since the Bills have a bye week and I don’t like to bet against myself. The Rams, well, they showed up against Green Bay in the second half on defense, a little bit. They held the Packers after the half, but also didn’t score. They seem to be lagging on that scoring bit a lot lately. Sigh. They just suck. 400 yards of offense and only three points to show for it. The Cowboys, a team that I picked to win their division, still haven’t stepped up to be the team that they are on paper. I think they lay down a whipping this week, but they really have to get their shit together if they hope to compete with the Redskins. Cowboys at home.

Green Bay at Minnesota Line: +9.5
Remember that time that Donovan McNabb turned out to be a bust? Oh wait, that was last week. For all concerned, the Donovan McNabb era in purple should be over. Christian Ponder, the rookie Qb with the quick feet, has been named the starter after relieving McNabb against the Bears last week. While he didn’t score, he moved the team down the field, which was more than McNabb did. The Vikings are hurting on offense, Peterson is their only weapon but even he is stifled by an offensive line that can’t get out of it’s own way and certainly can’t create any pocket protection. Thankfully Ponder knows how to run, and he’ll have to be running against one of the best defensive fronts in the league. There is no upset brewing here, the Vikings are going to get whipped, but it’ll be fun to watch Ponder escape pressure. Packers to win.

Indianapolis at New Orleans Line: -14.0
The Saints are coming off a 2-1 road trip, tired and hungry. Hey, what’s this? A five course meal being delivered right to their door? I’d like my rookie quarterback rare please. Indy, also in the Andrew Luck lottery, clearly has no faith in their young rookie Painter. Or at least the media doesn’t, as Painter has already been replaced by Andrew Luck on paper. So, their season is bonked. Still looking for their first win, they ain’t gonna find it in New Orleans. Saints to win.

Baltimore at Jacksonville Line: +8.5
Last but not least, the Jaguars. Another rookie QB is about to get squashed like a bug. If Gabbart thought the Steelers were tough, wait until he meets Ray Lewis and friends. The Jags have shown some spark lately, but they really are lacking when it comes to pass protection, passing and pass defense. So, there’s that. It should be a nice, rough game with plenty of silly penalties for the Jags. Ravens to win on the road.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Buffalo
So was that bad play calling or a terrible decision by Fitzpatrick that lost the game for the Bills against the Giants? Either way, the Bills better take a step back and deflate those heads. After the Patriots win, the Bills are looking a bit normal.

Bye Week at Cincinnati
The Bungles have been the surprise team of the season, led by young ginger Andy Dalton. They enter the bye week at 4-2 and poised to make a run at the division title. Of course, they have to find a way to beat their division foes first.

Bye Week at N.Y. Giants
The Giants defense seemed to wake up late in the game against Buffalo, a week after the offense lost the game the same way Buffalo did. The defense needs to keep it strong if the Giants can hope to hold off the rest of the division and overtake the Redskins.

Bye Week at Philadelphia
The Eagles, are for real? I still don’t think so and won’t be sold. While they won last week, Vick still made a laundry list of mistakes, but coupled them with some good play too. We’ll see if that huge contract pays off. Oh yeah, Vince Young is really that bad.

Bye Week at San Francisco
Huge win for the Niners over the Lions. I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that. But Harbaugh is doing a good job leading this team and turning Alex Smith into a real NFL QB. Now, if he can only get that offensive line to sharpen up a bit.

Bye Week at New England
What needs to be said about the Patriots? They pulled off a Tom Brady-esque comeback against the Cowboys and sustained their home win streak. Brady and Bellichick also tied Shula & Marino for most wins by a coach/QB duo. Slap on the back chaps.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 6

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Even in a bye week, all eyes are on Tim Tebow

I’d like to quote a sentence from my NFC predictions about the Eagles: “But I’m going to say this now – they won’t even win the division.” Look, I went a terrible 7-6 this week. That sucks for only thirteen games. And when all is said and done after the season is over, you’ll see that a lot of my picks for the playoffs were dead wrong. I said the Bills might compete, they are kicking ass. I said the Raiders won’t compete, they are. So it’s not a perfect system. I call it as I see it. So that brings me to 53-24 (69%) on the season. If I was a head coach I’d still have a job. So now we have week 6 and the biggest questions are still if the Bills are legit, if the Lions are legit, if Tim Tebow is legit and if the Steelers are legit. We know the Patriots are legit, the Texans will blow it and the Eagles blow ass. On with the picks!

Featured Game

Bye Week at Denver
You are probably wondering why this is my featured game when it’s not actually a game. Well, besides being unable to decide on a featured game since they are all good matchups I decided to go with the biggest story right now, and that’s Tim Tebow. Tebow time is finally here. Down 26-10 in the fourth quarter, Tim Tebow fired up his team and staged a comeback that was only lost on a missed 2 point conversion. Tebow brings an energy to the Denver squad that can’t be denied and this bye week couldn’t come at better time. Now Fox has two weeks to draw up some Tebow specific plays. I haven’t looked at Denver’s schedule yet, but I’m picking them to win next week.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Carolina at Atlanta Line: -5.5
Cam Newton almost pulled off the biggest win of his career, but his 200+ yards and three TD’s didn’t band-aid a defense that allowed way too many 3rd down conversions. They aren’t going to fare much better against the Falcons in the dome. While the Falcons didn’t do much better against Green Bay, they were up against one of the best defenses in the league and kept the game relatively close. They seemed to fall apart in the second half. Whomever is leading this game at half time should win. I’m a little torn on this one, because I really want to pick the Panthers but I think that Atlanta will prevail at home.

Indianapolis at Cincinnati Line: -6.0
Tough loss for the Colts, allowing the Chiefs to stage a huge comeback. Their run defense has a lot of holes and that’s something the Bungles seem to be doing right. Of course, it took a last second effort to pull a win out against the Jags, but I don’t think at home, against the struggling Colts should take a last minute effort. While Painter and Garcon have discovered each other, it’s not going to be enough to beat the Bungles ever growing stronger defense. While not a playoff team, they are good enough to beat the Peyton-less Colts. Bungles at home.

San Francisco at Detroit Line: -6.0
Wow. The Niners had over 400 yards of offense. Three touchdowns from Alex Smith with no interceptions against the Bucs. Not to mention the defense coming strong with three picks, one returned for a TD. They looked dominant. The rushing yards alone were around 200. But now they travel to Detroit to meet the 5-0 Lions who are looking for a record sixth win. Detroit is playing strong football right now and I don’t see them having any losses when they face Green Bay on Thanksgiving day. So until then, I’m picking Stafford and crew to keep winning. Plus, I have Calvin Johnson on my fantasy team. First WR ever to accrue nine TD’s in his first five games. That’s crazy good. Expect him to keep rolling. Lions to win at home.

St. Louis at Green Bay Line: -10.5
The Rams are coming off a bye week and this is not the team they want to face doing so. Maybe they can pump themselves up and stay in the game for a little bit, but this game is going to be a good old fashioned ass whipping. They have no answer for the Packers offense, no answer for the defense. Sam Bradford is going to be in tears by the end of the game. The one bright spot for the Rams is… none. I can’t think of one. The Packers will stay undefeated until they play the Lions on Thanksgiving, which will be the most epic Thanksgiving day game ever. Finally. Packers to win at home.

Buffalo at NY Giants Line: -2.0
The Giants. Sigh. They converted on several third downs on their last drive with good passing. Then, near the end zone Eli throws an obvious pick six. Hats off to the Seattle defense for recognizing a pattern a three year old could pick up. Eli is in love with receiver Victor Cruz, but forcing into double coverage in the red zone with plenty of time on the clock? What the hell? I guess if the Giants run game existed, that wouldn’t have been a problem. That and the disgusting inconsistency of the defense. The Giants are struggling. So why are they favored against the Bills? Cause they are playing in Snoopy stadium? Whatever. The Bills defense bailed out the offense against the Eagles last week, but did allow a comeback. Expect some of the same this week, the Giants jump out, the Bills jump ahead, the Giants come back, the Bills defense prevails. Bills to win on the road.

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh Line: -9.5
Ok, so I was wrong about the Steelers last week. Chris Berman was right, if not now – when? The Steelers looked like the Steelers for the first time this season. Big Ben tossed five TD’s, the defense was tight and kept Chris Johnson in check the whole game. Sure, the running back by committee isn’t quite clicking for the Steelers, but against the Jags, at home – who cares? Ben plays better when he’s hurt, and he’s still limping. The Jags and their young QB show some potential, but potential doesn’t win games. And they won’t win this one. Steelers at home.

Philadelphia at Washington Line: +3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!
Being 100% right about the Eagles feels pretty good. I said they are not a playoff team, and Vick was overrated. Sure, he’s setting rushing records, but who gives a fuck? They aren’t winning. That’s the important thing isn’t it? They have to win games. He’s still making bad passing decisions, running too early and getting boxed up and just not playing like a good QB. Trust me, Tim Tebow is watching Vick and saying “don’t do that.” Meanwhile, the Redskins are surprisingly leading the NFC East. Not sure I saw that coming. The Skins need to keep that running game developing with Ryan Torain and push the Eagles on defense. Expect them to come after Vick strong. I’m going against the bookies and picking the Skins to upset at home, and I’m ashamed for the idiots that have them as an underdog.

Cleveland at Oakland Line: -3.0
The Raiders stole a win against the Texans for sure last week. Maybe they were inspired by the loss of Al Davis, who knows? Either way they were penalized a lot, but thankfully special teams held out so they could win. I dunno, this team shows sparks of being a competitor, and they have the leagues leading rusher, but still, they are week to week in my eyes. The Browns coming off a bye week have little to be happy about at the moment. A rough loss to the Titans exposed holes in a defense once thought to be strong. The rushing game is having trouble even with downstill strong man Hillis. The Browns have an uphill battle this week, as weak teams have problems playing in the pit. I’m taking Oakland to win, which I hate doing to my Browns, but they need to tighten up their game. If the Browns do win however, I won’t be too surprised, just pissed I didn’t pick them.

Houston at Baltimore Line: -7.0
Offhand I couldn’t tell you why Houston lost to the Raiders. Maybe there was magic in the air after the passing of Al Davis, I have no idea. A week after routing the Steelers, the Texans offensive line looked a bit weak, not giving Schaub enough time to stage a comeback. Not to mention the defense even allowing a comeback, yet holding the Raiders to under 300 yards total offense. Foster couldn’t get going, and the loss of Johnson hurts this team every day. The Ravens are tougher than the Steelers and have no questions when it comes to the steadfastness of their defense. The Texans are going to have problems protecting Schaub and even establishing a run game. I expect them to stay in it, but I expect the Ravens to stay ahead. Ravens to win at home.

Dallas at New England Line: -6.5
Pundits are saying that if the real Tony Romo stands up for this game that the Cowboys have a chance. I say it doesn’t matter. Unless Romo morphs into Steve Young, there is no way the Cowboys are going to roll into New England and have a rats chance in hell of winning. The Patriots, while defensively weak, are killing it in the passing and scoring game. You know, the bits that really matter. Wes Welker is on pace for like 2 million catches, and Tom Brady is on pace for like 80 gadzillion yards. Whatever. The Cowboys can compete, but only against teams like the Rams or maybe the Eagles. Against the highest scoring team in the NFL? Forget it. Pats at home.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay Line: -3.5
That line is wrong right? Look, the Saints struggled a little bit against the Panthers last week, but they pulled off the win. The defense was the problem, but Cam Newton has more offense in his little finger than the Bucs have shown all season. Last week they showed none as they got pistol whipped by the Niners. The fact is that while playing at home makes the Bucs a three point favorite, the home crowd isn’t going to give the Bucs enough of a bump to keep up with Drew Brees. I’d like to see them perform a bit, and really this is must-win game for them to stay up in the division, but they won’t. Saints on the road.

Minnesota at Chicago Line: -3.0 Crapfest of the Week!
This game is the crapfest of the week because of defense. The Bears allowed a 73 yard TD pass and an 88 yard TD run to the Lions. Show some respect, the Lions are a good team, but the Bears defense has looked like shit all season. They can’t seem to get any consistency on the contain, and their run defense and tackling is just plain sloppy. You think the Vikings are any different? After getting whipped by the Chiefs, they turn around and their defense gets it done. But trust me, that was a fluke. The Cardinals aren’t exactly the team to set defensive standards against. This game is going to come down to who can score the most points. Keeping the other team from scoring isn’t going to be a huge pressure point. That being said, I’m taking the Vikings to upset the Bears just because I think they have a little more offense. Oh, and Adrian Peterson. Just give him the ball, against the Bears run defense? He’ll have a career day.

Miami at NY Jets Line: -6.0
Needless to say, if you have any Jets players – start them in fantasy this week. The Dolphins have found ways to lose in every game this year, mostly by not being competetive at all. Henne is out, which means Moore, discarded by Carolina, will be behind center. Doesn’t matter. The defense can’t get it done, the offense is terrible and they are on the road. All factors point to a big Jets win. But wait, the Jets have been terribly inconsistent on defense as of late. Could this be the game for the Dolphins? No, it won’t. Jets to win at home. Man, that’s a lot of home teams this week that I’ve got winning. We’ll see if that gamble pays off. Statistically, it should. This could be a possible upset, but I’m sticking with the Jets.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Arizona
The offensive line is terrible, keeping Beanie Wells from finding holes and forcing Kolb to throw interceptions. They need to work on that, oh, and learning how to fucking tackle too. This team is only getting worse. Hopefully this bye week provides the reset that they sorely need.

Bye Week at Kansas City
Hey, nice comeback against the shitty Colts. That’s not going to be enough. Can the Chiefs beat anyone in their division this year? Probably not. It’s going to be a tough season. The loss of Jamaal Charles really struck this team hard. Cassel seems to be getting his shit together. Relax, take a week off, come back strong.

Bye Week at San Diego
The Chargers have problems. Their record won’t suggest it, but they do. And now they have the 1-4 Broncos in their rear view mirror. Watch out Chargers, Tebow is coming for you. Give him a whole game to do what he did in a quarter and the next match-up between these two teams will go the other way. On a side note, Teressa loves cats.

Bye Week at Seattle
For a brief moment, Seattle looked like a competent team with the potential to compete in their crappy division. Then Tavaris Jackson went down, nothing changed really. It was the defense that bailed them out last week, and it’ll be the defense that keeps this team in games. For the bye, they might want to work on building a nice passing game. If that’s possible.

Bye Week at Tennessee
After a strong week against the hapless Browns, the Titans more or less rolled over for the Steelers. So what is up with this team? One second they appear unstoppable, the next they appear as if they have no secondary? They don’t have an easy schedule so they might want to think about looking at some of the holes in their defense and figuring out a way to get Chris Johnson past the line of scrimmage.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 5

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Yes! Cheerleaders! Go Texans! (image: texansbullpen.com)

Well, it’s week five which means it’s time to start the bye weeks. That doesn’t mean any less writing for me though, as I’m introducing a new concept to the column for this year, talking about the bye week teams and what they need to do to get better (if anything.) That’s at the bottom. I had another week at 12-4, which puts me at 46-18 (72%) on the year. Suck on that shit so-called experts. Why haven’t I been hired by CBSSports or ESPN.com yet? I have no idea. I’ve been doing this for years. Maybe cause it’s because I say fuck, and vagina slobber. Enough! On with the picks!

Featured Game

Oakland at Houston Line: -7.0
Looking at the schedule at the beginning of the season, did you think this would ever be one of my featured games? I ain’t messing around with this one. This is going to be a crazy good game. The Raiders may have just lost to the Patriots, but they put up a good fight. Penalties killed them in the second half, and they were playing against the best offense in the league. Campbell needs to be a bit more protective of his passes. The Raiders run defense is suspect, allowing plenty of yards on the ground, while Arian Foster ran for 155 against the Steelers. What do you think he’s going to do against the Raiders? But wait, the Raiders have the leagues highest rated rusher in Darren McFadden! While the Texans don’t have the best run defense, they have a better one. There should be a lot of running going on in this one. I’m taking the Texans to win, and Hue Jackson to predict that the Raiders will win the Stanley Cup after they win the division.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Philadelphia at Buffalo Line: +3.0
Ok, maybe I’ve been a bit too sold on the Bills. They do have one of the leagues worst run defenses after all. But still, it’s offense that wins games and last week – they didn’t have it. Thankfully, neither do the Eagles. What’s that you say? But they have Vick – he makes plays happen! Sure, every once in a while for a first down or something, but he’s not getting the scoring plays and the Eagles run game is terrible. They couldn’t get it done against the Niners at all. The Eagles have no red zone offense. If the Bills can get their offense back like it was the first three weeks, this is their game to lose. Bills at home.

Kansas City at Indianapolis Line: -1.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #1!!
The Colts netted a whole 62 yards on the ground against the Bucs. I’m sorry, but if you have a rookie QB and at least 3 top flight receivers, you’ve got to establish a run game so that when he (Painter) does throw the ball – he’s got time and he’s on target. Instead, he was all over the place. Peyton ain’t coming back. Collins was a bust. Carson Palmer is still couch surfing. Just saying. The Chiefs fared a bit better this week, actually getting a passing game going and remembering that Thomas Jones ain’t retired yet. They took advantage of some situations and pulled out a win. This one is tough for me, but I think with weapons like Piere Garcon and Reggie Wayne, you shouldn’t lose. This game is going to come down to defense, specifically run defense. Shit. I have no idea. I’m winging this one and running with the home team. Colts at home.

Arizona at Minnesota Line: -3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #2!!
You know the Vikings are playing bad when they rely on Peterson the whole game and he gets bottled up by the Kansas City defense. The Vikings sure do need a win, but their schedule doesn’t really have one penciled in for a while. McNabb used to be able to engineer a nice comeback, and I expect he’ll need one against the Cardinals. The Cards are struggling to stay afloat. Beanie Wells had a career rushing game against the Giants, but the Cards defense managed to blow the lead and waste that effort. Good job guys. Whose defense is worse? Like the above game, this one is a shit fest too. Home team wins just cause. The fact is, there are a lot of terrible teams in the NFL this season (compared to other teams in the NFL.) Perhaps this had to do with the lack of an offseason, who knows? Either way, this week kind of highlights the turds.

Seattle at NY Giants Line: -10.0
The Seahawks could not part the defensive line of the Falcons last week, so how are they going to fare against the Giants? Not so good. As the game goes on, Eli and the men around him get better. So the Hawks better jump out to a huge lead, and I mean huge, because just last week Eli showed he can mount a comeback. The Hawks offense, while showing a little spark against the Falcons, needs to focus on the run because the Giants gave up a ton on the ground to Wells last week, and will probably do it again. Pound, pound, pound. Won’t matter though in the end. Giants at home.

Tennessee at Pittsburgh Line: -6.5 UPSET SPECIAL!!
So Hasselbeck is no slouch. We knew that. He saw holes in the Cleveland defense last week and went to town. Even without Kenny Britt, Hasselbeck found his very able tight ends slipping out of coverage. The key against Pittsburgh is taking advantage of the aging defense with some tomfoolery. Play action, passes to Johnson in the flat, flea flickers, tight ends lining up as blockers and slipping out into the slant – whatever. The Titans need to go into their bag of tricks. Hasselbeck can pull it off. The Steelers are reeling. Big Ben is hurt, but not out. Mendenhall is hurt and out. The offensive line is like a quilt in a retirement home, on fire. The Steelers are in trouble, and I think this is the week the Titans step out of the Colts long shadow. Titans to win on the road, upsetting the Steelers. Yeah, I said it.

New Orleans at Carolina Line: +7.0
Why are you kicking to Hester? The Panthers have a coach whose job it is to make sure special teams doesn’t fuck up like that. They fucked up. Cam Newton made some rookie mistakes as well, go figure. Finally he gets to face the Saints, who are going to make the Carolina defense look like confetti draped around a topless drunk girls boobs. Sproles is gonna motorboat that front line like the same. Brees is going to pick them apart like picking said confetti out of said drunk girls pubes. Cam isn’t going to have an answer on offense. Expect to see him get seriously flustered. Where he looked poised against the Packers, the Saints are better at getting under their oppositions skin. Saints to win on the road.

Cincinnati at Jacksonville Line: -1.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #3!!
The turds keep sliding out of this schedule. Like I said, a lot less parity to go around this year. These two teams play sub-par football at best. Yet, they’ve both beaten a top team. The Jags beat the Titans in week one, while the Bungles just knocked the Bills down a notch. So what happens when they meet up in Jacksonville? The Bengals defense isn’t playing half bad, holding the high scoring Buffalo offense to one TD. The Jags struggle on offense just to score that. Gabbert might turn into a franchise QB for the Jags, but he can’t rely on his defense this week. He’s got to score points. It’s rookie QB vs. rookie QB. Defense vs. Defense. Who you got? Home team. Jags to win by like one point on a late FG or something.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco Line: -2.5
Good thing Philly kickers still suck. Oh wait, was that David Akers missing a FG for the Niners? The Niners were still able to grind out another win. They are a scrappy little team, but scrapping isn’t going to be much against the defensive and growing offensive prowess of the Bucs. The Bucs are slowly gaining some serious klout. They pushed around the Colts on Monday night, slapping them around for a nice 24-17 win. It took a little bit of a comeback, but as much as I hate them, they are playing good football. The man-love affair between coach Rahim Morris & QB Josh Freeman is paying off. Bucs to win on the road.

San Diego at Denver Line: +6.0
Seriously. TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW! Denver sucks. The defense gave up 507 yards & 5 TD’s to the Packers. Not to mention the offense turning over the ball four fucking times. The whole team save for McGahee looked like a bunch of half drunk idiots. Can Tebow save this team? At least net them a win? Not this week, as the Chargers roll into town ready to lay the smack down. Rivers is charged up after shredding the hapless Dolphins, but that was helped by four nice field goals. The offense will have to start doing better than that. Thankfully against the Broncos defense, all they’ll need is a safety to win. Chargers on the road.

NY Jets at New England Line: -8.0
There was a point in the game against the Ravens where Sanchez fumbled the ball, then simply watched as it was scooped up and ran in for a touchdown. That was some lazy ass shit GQ poster boy. That kind of exemplifies how the Jets are playing right now on offense. While the defense is still stepping up and keeping them in the game (three turnovers and a TD against the Ravens,) the offense is blowing chunks. Maybe they’ll be a bit better when Mangold gets back. So needless to say, the Patriots are playing killer offense. Yeah, their defense is so-so, but who cares? Brady to Welker, touchdown x 4. Patriots win.

Green Bay at Atlanta Line: +4.5
I swear I can hear Matt Ryan sigh when he gets back into the dome. He does not play well outside. The Falcons nearly blew it against the Seahawks, but good offensive line play saved them. Plus, no turnovers. The defense allowed over 300 yards to the Seahawks low rated offense, which spells trouble with a capital cheese head against the high flying Packers. The only answer is going to be more touchdowns by the Falcons offense. It’s the only way as the defense will be struggling to keep Green Bay from scoring. The Green Bay defense has weaknesses, like giving up 384 yards to Denver. This should be a nice back and forth for a while. An offensive firestorm. I’m waffling on this one, but sticking with the Packers and taking them to win on the road. I better bench the Falcons defense this week in fantasy.

Chicago at Detroit Line: -6.0
Yeah, the Lions are for real. Deal with it. Undefeated. On a roll. Defense and offense both playing strong. You are looking at a sure fire playoff team, if not a Superbowl team. Crazy huh? Some twilight zone shit for sure. So they welcome their division foes da Bears to town. The Bears, well, their pass defense is terrible. Which is good for me since Calvin Johnson anchors my fantasy team. The dude has had two TD’s in every game thus far. He should get 4 in this match-up. Lions to win. Easy.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Cleveland
The Browns, once again, are probably the best worst team. A complete breakdown on defense and offensive lines last week cost them dearly. Colt McCoy has got to spend the bye week working on his fucking accuracy and the back shoulder pass. Figure it out Colt, stop over throwing your wide open receivers.

Bye Week at Dallas
It might seem like the Cowboys blew a second half lead against the Lions, but it wasn’t them – it was the Lions stepping up and being the better team. Games aren’t lost, they are won. And the Lions won. And pretty much everyone who has played the Cowboys. Romo, vacation is over buddy. Step your game up.

Bye Week at St. Louis
What can we say about the Rams? On paper they seem to have all the tools needed to win. Josh McDaniels is clearing up any detractors as to his firing in Denver, by sucking in St. Louis. An offensive line overhaul might help Bradford actually find a receiver. Shake it up Rams, what do you have to lose?

Bye Week at Miami Line: -14.0
This is how bad Miami is this season. You can bet against them on a bye week. The Dolphins need to get their offense straightened out. Moore was almost as terrible as Henne has been lately, shoulder issues withstanding. Fans are already calling for Tony Sporano to get the axe. I don’t think that’s going to be enough to salvage this season.

Bye Week at Washington
The Redskins have been riding a bit of luck up to this point. Rex Grossman isn’t really that good, but a good run defense and a strong(er – than opponents) rushing attack have helped them pull off some close wins. Could they take the division? Maybe.

Bye Week at Baltimore
The Ravens are playing outstanding defensive football. For all the mistakes Flacco made last week, the defense made up for in touchdowns. If this team loses to the Patriots in the playoffs I’ll be surprised.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 3

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Can Fitz lead the Bills past the Patriots?

Bam. Last week I went a smooth 14-2, my only misses being the losses by the Ravens and the Niners. This would have been a huge win, but then I realized that a bunch of people in the office pick ‘em pool went 14-2 and they were just guessing. Dammit. Either way, that brings me to 22-10 on the season, so at least I’m well over 50%. I need another huge week to get to that 68% goal and stay there for the rest of the season. Experts, suck it. Week three bitches!

Featured Game

New England at Buffalo Line: +9.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
At the beginning of the season, before the Bills were 2-0, I said that the Patriots might lose one or two games this year, and one of them is going to come at the hands of the Bills. Well, here we are in week 3 and the Patriots are meeting a hot 2-0 Bills team in Buffalo. If this game were in Foxboro, I’d pick the Pats, no doubt. However, it’s not. The Patriots simply own the Bills over the last couple years, but this year the Bills seem a bit – better. But their two wins did come against the Raiders and the falling Chiefs, so how good are the Bills really? The Patriots have a good defense, but their secondary is suspect. Tom Brady is on pace for like 2 billion yards (thanks to bad secondary play of the Dolphins.) Can Fitzpatrick take advantage of a shoddy secondary to push ahead of the Patriots? Can the Patriots pressure Fitz so he makes mistakes? Because he hasn’t made many thus far. These question and more will be answered on Sunday! (Sunday Sunday Sunday.) Anyway, I’m taking the Bills to upset. That’s what my gut says.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

San Francisco at Cincinnati Line: -1.0
The Niners certainly found a way to lose last week. Bad coaching and clock management sent them into overtime only to lose. Had they taken the defensive penalty and the first down – rather than the field goal, the Cowboys wouldn’t have had enough time to catch up. Instead, they are now 1-1. Weak. The Niners are a better team than how they were coached last week, so hopefully that shows when they roll into Cincinnati, also 1-1 after losing at Denver. The Bungles are establishing a nice running game, and Dalton is no slouch at this point. Really, the two QB’s (Dalton and Smith) are pretty evenly matched. I’d say this game will come down to special teams play, of which the Bungles are severely lacking. The Niners to win on the road and Ginn to run at least one return back for a TD.

Miami at Cleveland Line: -2.5
Hey, the Browns are favored! Two weeks in a row. Picking them last week against the Colts was easy, picking them this week against the terrible Dolphins is even easier. The Dolphins have so many holes in their offensive attack, I don’t know where to start. Is it with their complete lack of a rushing attack or even proper blocking? Is it with Henne and his inability to pick up defensive changes and blitzes? Whatever Ricky Williams was giving those guys in-between games is gone, and they are just flat sucking. After losing to the Bungles, the Browns quickly rebounded though and McCoy is finding some sweet brown rhythm with his receivers. I’d look for Hillis to have a huge day running against the Dolphins this weekend. Browns to win.

Denver at Tennessee Line: -4.5
What’s up with the Titans? One week they get beat by hapless Jacksonville, the next week they upset the Ravens? Did you see that one coming? Hasslebeck found a definite groove with Kenny Britt down the sidelines, that’s for sure. So now they welcome Denver to town, who finally allowed Tim Tebow to come into the game – at slot receiver. Really, it’s almost time for him to come in at QB. But it’s going to take a couple more losses for the TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW chants to hold any weight with the coaching staff. This week though, should add to that loss column as the Titans may just be better than we thought in week one. Titans to win at home.

Detroit at Minnesota Line: +4.0
Of one prediction I am glad is coming true, it’s the Lions. They are just killing it. They really haven’t had a solid challenge though, with only the Bucs and Chiefs in their rear view. I’m waiting for when they play Green Bay – in Green Bay. Then we’ll see if they are for real. For now, they’ll have to settle for the Vikings. I’m surprised they are only four point favorites, because their offense has been outstanding lately. Stafford is showing great poise and leadership, and it helps that the defense is doing their part as well. Honestly, this is a playoff team right now. Keep it up Detroit. My fantasy team is stacked with Detroit players. Detroit to win. With the points.

Houston at New Orleans Line: -5.5
The Texans are killing it right now and with the Colts out of the way already, there is no reason they shouldn’t take the division. Unless they find a way to lose the big games – and this is one of those big games. Arian Foster being out hasn’t affected the Texans offense too much, besides slowed down the run game, but when you have receivers like Andre Johnson, who needs a run game? Flat out, the Texans have to be 100% on defense in order to beat the Saints. Give one inch to the downhill running of Sproles or the play calling of Sean Peyton and they may as well give up the game. I’m taking the Saints to win this game at home though, as much as I want to give it to the Texans, the Saints offense is going to be a bit too much for the Texans secondary.

New York at Philadelphia Line: -0.0
Both NFC East games have zero lines. That’s how close, and how crappy this division is. Everyone else might say it’s cause this division is that good, and there will be one playoff team to come out of it, but they won’t make it past the first round. The Giants, after getting lucky on Monday night against the Rams, Eli really played like crap, visit Philly to take on Vick. You already know what I think of Vick. I think he’s a fraud. Mistakes will cost him against the Giants defense, who have proven that they are a heads-up defense. Pressuring Vick won’t be enough, they have to force turnovers in the secondary. That is, if Vick even plays after suffering a concussion. That being said, I’m taking the Giants in this game because, well, I don’t know. Just am. Deal.

Jacksonville at Carolina Line: -3.5
Cam Newton is on pace for like 6,000 yards this season, Brady on pace for about 7,000. So how is it that Newton has passed for over 400 yards in both games this season, yet is 0-2? How is it that he’s passed for that many yards? Here’s why all QB’s are finding their receivers wide open more often – there was no offseason. A lot of teams have new players in DB and Safety positions and there was no offseason for them to train on coverage and gel. They are doing that now. Newton isn’t a god, he’s just throwing into crappy coverage. Plus, the Carolina running game is shit. Stewart isn’t getting through the line because the run blocking stinks. So Cam is getting more passing plays, and more deep passing plays. Of course, he’s also got a few interceptions as well. He’s human. He makes mistakes. He’s good though, can read defenses and leads his team. Now if he can only lead them to a win. This could be his week as the Jags come to town. I think this is where Cam ekes out his first win. Cats to win.

NY Jets at Oakland Line: +3.5
Oakland looks like they could actually be for real this year. I mean, compared to previous years in which they sucked balls. They played Buffalo to the end last week, never giving up but I don’t think their defense is where it should be just yet. And they are going to need defense against the Jets, who also come strong with defense. I don’t really see the Jets losing this game. While Sanchez isn’t quite an elite QB just yet, he’s got a good thing going with his tight ends and running backs. He knows how to throw the slant and toss, it’s the deep ball he needs to work on. Over the shoulder Mark, over the shoulder. However, shouldn’t be an issue against the Raiders. Jets to win.

Baltimore at St. Louis Line: -3.5
An injured QB, Stephen Jackson sidelined, the Rams are not starting the season off as they would like. Hey, how about next year you draft some fucking offensive linemen who can block for more than a split second? And Carnell Williams, you silly mother fucker. Dead ball or not, how about you don’t stand there like a statue and you get that fucking ball? Needless to say, the Ravens are going to come into St. Louis with a serious axe to grind. They lost last week, to the Titans, and probably aren’t taking that very lightly. Doubtful they’ll repeat that weak ass performance. The Ravens front D-line will be too much for the Rams O-line. Run Bradford! Run! Ravens to win on the road. And the Rams are favored! Put some money on this one.

Kansas City at San Diego Line: -15.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!
Here’s why this is my crapfest game of the week. As good as Rivers is, is as bad as the Chiefs are right now. Have they even scored a touchdown this season? Fans in KC probably wish they could chant for Tebow at this point. And now, with Johnson out for the season, the Chiefs are hurting. The Chargers offense is going to be too much for the Chiefs defense and the Chiefs offense is nonexistent. You’ll see a double digit deficit by the end of the first quarter in this one. Bolts to win at home. And hell, with the points.

Green Bay at Chicago Line: +4.0
There is something suspect about the Packers, I just can’t figure out what it is. While they haven’t exactly shored up a consistent running game, Aaron Rodgers seems to handle the play action pretty damn well and the Packers continue to rack up the score. The Bears are in for a fight, but they are a scrappy team. The key will be pushing Forte through the line and avoiding the sack power of the high pressure Green Bay linebacker core. Green Bay special teams have also been on point so far this year, so expect them to chase Hester down – who has a penchant for fumbling on receptions this year (not on returns.) Anyway, I’m sticking with the Packers for now, so taking them to win this great NFC match-up.

Arizona at Seattle Line: +3.0
Kolb isn’t doing too bad in Arizona, going for 251 yards in the air last week, 300 the week before. I’d say Seattle would be the true test, but that’s bullshit. Seattle is still trying to find their ground after pistol whipped by the Niners then the Steelers. However, Rice could be back in the game on Sunday, which may help Tavaris Jackson get rid of the ball on the out routes. Also, Carroll probably spent the week yelling at safeties who let Wallace and the other Steelers receivers run hog wild open all over the field last week. Who are we kidding? The Seahawks will be lucky if they win three games this year. This one ain’t it. Cardinals on the road.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay Line: -1.0
The Bucs have been showing that they have some fourth quarter spunk, making a run at the Lions then coming back to beat the Vikings. That won’t work against the Falcons, they have to come strong out of the gate to get on top of Matt Ryan and crew. I don’t think they’ll be able to though. If there is one secondary that is clicking this year, it’s the Falcons secondary. The Bucs defense showed some serious spark against the Vikings, but that was the Vikings. The Falcons though, have got to be able to open up the field against the Bucs and run their defense ragged. I think with the appropriate amount of pressure on young Freeman, the Falcons will prevail. Falcons to win.

Pittsburgh at Indianapolis Line: +11.0
There is a rumor swirling on the internetwebs that the Colts are making phone calls to a one Brett Favre. Are you fucking kidding me? The Colts are following up one bad QB decision with another one. Listen, here’s what you do – give the ball to Painter. Or, if you really want to spend the fucking money, pay off the Bungles and get Carson Palmer. It’ll cost the same as wooing old man Brett out of retirement. Don’t do it. Don’t be that team. That being said, they’ll lose to the Steelers. Do I even need to say why? I don’t think so. If Ben is on your fantasy team, start him. Steelers to win.

Washington at Dallas Line: -0.0
And then we come to the Monday night game. I’ve already handed out my crapfest of the week, but this isn’t it. Wow. Tell you what Dallas, I’ll trade you. This candy bar for Tony Romo, cause if you throw either of them in the pool – they look like shit. The Cowboys won last week because the Niners fucked up – NOT because the Cowboys played well. That being said, the Redskins have actually been playing well, so I’m giving this contest to them. Redskins to win, on the road, in Dallas, sinking Romo.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 2

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Can Collins lead the Colts to another ten win season?

So I started the season off a paltry 8-8. That’s pretty lame, but better than most experts. That’s not an excuse, I plan to do better. Being right is very important to me. I’m shooting for at least 65% in correct picks this year, not including the playoffs. We’ll see. In other news, all three of my fantasy teams lost, thanks to lousy QB and Defense choices. What the hell? Remember, all predictions right or they aren’t. Nothing on the island is real.

Featured Game

Cleveland at Indianapolis Line: +3.0
This game is my featured game not because I’m a total Cleveland Browns honk, but because of the Colts. The Colts have made the playoffs with 10 or more wins since 2002. It’s a streak that no team has matched. It’s a streak that will become Peyton’s legacy. It’s a streak that is in jeopardy. I know that I could be way off on this, but Doug Flutie isn’t waiting in the wings to save this team. Kerry Collins sure as shit ain’t gonna do it, not after the drubbing he took against the Texans last week. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the Colts start Painter. The home fans are not going to like a fumbling Kerry Collins, I think they’ll be a bit more lenient with a rookie QB. Though it’s too bad that the Colts don’t really have much of a running game right now, because that’s where the Browns are showing they are lacking. The Browns let the Bungles get the best of them with two late game big plays as their front line seemed to tire. Losing to the hapless Bungles was not a good start for the Browns, but I think they can bounce back on the road this week assuming their defense steps the hell up. I can see either team winning this game, but I’m going to give it to Cleveland edging the Colts late.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Oakland at Buffalo Line: -4.0
How about those Bills eh? Who the hell saw that coming? I attribute their win to the switch back to the classic red white and blue uniforms. That has to be it right, because KC was supposed to be this crazy offensive powerhouse? Right? Well, they were offensive all right and the Bills took full advantage, doing it on offense and defense. They actually looked good. This week, they welcome the Raiders to town, who squeaked by the Broncos in their home opener. A week earlier I might have picked the Raiders to win this game, but man, the Bills looked pretty damn good. Let’s see if they can do it at home. Bills with the points.

Kansas City at Detroit Line: -8.0
As mentioned above, the Chiefs had a complete breakdown on both sides of the ball. It was a terrible week for me to start both Matt Cassel and the Chiefs defense in Fantasy football. Really, who the hell saw that coming? They sucked. Now, it’s quite possible there was some rust to shake off as they got over the offseason troubles and it might take them a couple games to get back to form. I think they’ll do better against the Lions on the road, but it won’t be enough. The Lions dominated the Bucs last week, and even though the final score was close – the game wasn’t. The Bucs aren’t a bad team, they are a sleeper playoff pick for sure. The Lions offensive attack was too much for the Bucs secondary, and their defense was solid. Not a crazy good performance by the defense, but good enough to win. The keys to beating the Chiefs will be protecting Stafford and keeping the Chiefs run game contained. That being said, they’ll do that. Lions at home to win.

Baltimore at Tennessee Line: +4.0
Sometimes I watch games and totally regret picking a team, or thinking about picking a team at all. The Titans were that team. Are you kidding me? Hasselbeck was totally inconsistent and the Titans defense wasn’t even playing the same game as the Jags offense. They made the Jags look damn good, and gave Jones-Drew plenty of room to trash their defensive line. I don’t expect them to be able to hold off the Ravens, who smacked around the Raiders defense last week. There is no way the Titans will win this game, but hell – any given Sunday and what not. But I’m not picking against them. They are too strong. Ravens to win on the road, with the points.

Tampa Bay at Minnesota Line: -3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
I can understand how some people are favoring the Vikings in this game, they do have Adrian Peterson and the special teams play of Percy Harvin, but the Buccaneers are actually a good defensive team this year and slipped up a bit against the Lions. The key to this game is going to be special teams. The Bucs have never been strong on either side of the special teams coin, so the Vikings will have to take advantage with the runbacks, if there are any in the dome. Other than that, slam with the run and don’t put McNabb into too many pressure situations. However, the Vikings will still have to keep up with the young Bucs offense. I’m giving this one to the Bucs on the road, to upset the Vikings.

Chicago at New Orleans Line: -7.0
The Saints got whupped by Green Bay in the season opener. Yes, the game appeared close at the end, but I think that Sean Peyton has to realize that everyone is familiar with his bag of tricks now. He’s not tricky anymore. Brees is still a great QB, and their running game is amazing, but good defenses can see through that and around it and what not. And the Bears have a good defense. I’m not saying that the Bears are going to beat the Saints on defense alone, but this should be a good game to watch because it is the Saints offense vs. the Bears Defense. It’ll be interesting to see if the Saints can beat the spread, but I am taking them to rack up the most points and win.

Jacksonville at NY Jets Line: -10.0
So the Jets eke out a win against the Cowboys and are suddenly ten point favorites against the Jags? Give me a break. The Jets are a good team, but they have a lot of problems. Sanchez still doesn’t look confident in the pocket and it took the defense at least three and a half quarters to get moving and make some game changing, er, saving plays against the Cowboys. Whatever. I’m still not sold on this Jets team, so you won’t hear me chanting. However, I’m not sold on the Jags either, so I can see how the Jets are so well favored at home. I don’t really like saying this, but the Jets are going to win this game because, well, Luke McCown has yet to see what a real defense looks like.

Seattle at Pittsburgh Line: -12.5
Last year the Steelers defense was full of veteran players. This year, the Steelers defense is full of veteran players. What’s the difference? Well, it’s the difference between a grandparent and a great-grandparent. Their veteran status showed, in what will probably be their toughest loss this year. That won’t be the norm for this team, a team that adapts very well to changing situations, like prohibition. Either way, the weakest link against the Ravens last week was the offense. Seven turnovers. That’s just all kinds of pathetic. So this week they are at home and they get Tavaris “I still have a job” Jackson and the Seahawks. The NFC West sucks balls. Steelers to win easy.

Arizona at Washington Line: -4.0
This is probably one of the better matchups this week. You might not think so on paper, but the explosive play of Beanie Wells in the Arizona running game paired with their high falutin’ wide receivers and this could be a very high scoring game. On the other side, the Redskins got lucky last week against the Giants. I don’t think they beat them because they are a good team, I think it was because the Giants played like shit. The Redskins will compete this year, but they will struggle with it all season long. This week however, I think they pull off a win. The NFC West sucks balls.

Green Bay at Carolina Line: +10.0
Cam Newton had a record breaking rookie debut, and lost. Run that by me again. Cam Newton, throws for over 400 yards and two TD’s and lost? Oh yeah, that’s cause he plays for the Carolina Panthers. They have no running game, they have a defense made up of sticks and leftovers. They have Cam Newton. Whoopdie freaking doo. This line should be +30 for Carolina because Green Bay is going to use this team for target practice. And Newton was up against the Cardinals defense last week, which is like one of those cute little smart cars, where the Packers defense is like one of those two story bulldozers. Cam, meet Clay Matthews. Packers with the points.

Dallas at San Francisco Line: +3.0
Did the Niners open the season with a win? They sure did. Did the Cowboys blow a 14 point lead and suck big hairy nuts? They sure did. It appears to me that Romo spends the fourth quarter on the fucking golf course and not in the goddamn game. This pisses me off because I hate the Cowboys, so I want to see them get beat, but not throw the game away because they can’t hold on to the damn ball or punt properly at home with the giant TV screen. So now they travel to San Fran to meet the Niners, who I’d say are red hot but they are still the Niners and have tons of problems that are yet to be determined if they are fixed. But shit, they are in the NFC West, which sucks balls, but I’m taking the Niners to upset the Cowboys and upset Jerry Jones.

Cincinnati at Denver Line: -5.5
Oh man the Broncos were terrible Monday night. So this should be the perfect home opener. They welcome the Bungles to town, who with two monster plays against the tired Browns defense notched their first win of the season. It should be a rare win though, I don’t see the Bungles ratcheting up the wins with Andy Dalton, er, Bruce Gradkowski at the helm. Neither guy gives them a chance to win at this point. Carson Palmer would, but he’s still retired. Until the Colts find a way to hire him. Anyway, I’m getting tired so I’m taking Denver to win at home, but it’s going to come off a late field goal or something like that.

Houston at Miami Line: +3.0
Houston will win this game. Here’s why, their defense is good. Did you watch the Colts game? Yes, Collins made mistakes but that’s because the defense got to him and applied the pressure. Remember, that offensive line of the Colts is good, they protect Manning. So I credit that to the pass rush of the Texans. Miami won’t be able to fare much better against that pass rush, Henne is going to be running around like a headless chicken. Houston is going to make a strong push for the playoffs this year, and with Manning out of the way already, all they have to do is win. Defense wins games. Houston on the road.

San Diego at New England Line: -6.5
Tom Brady threw for what, 2 billion yards against Miami? Now at home against San Diego? I’m thinking he should throw for at least another 2 billion. If you have Brady as your fantasy QB, then you are probably going to win your league this year. I’m just going to say it now, the Patriots are going 16-0, or at least 15-1. This team is going to be close to unbeatable. Oh wait, I already said that in my AFC predictions. I think I predicted the Bills to be the lone upset. So since the Chargers aren’t the Bills, I’ll just save you all the trouble of having to read some babble about how the Chargers aren’t playing to their potential and never seem to be. Patriots to win at home. With the points.

Philadelphia at Atlanta Line: +1.0
Even though Vick and the Eagles found a way to beat the Rams, it wasn’t with Vicks arm. It was on defense. Vick still is not a good QB, I don’t care what anyone says about the guy. He’s too quick to go for the out, he doesn’t let plays develop and only shines on the deep pass. So what happens when he’s up against the Atlanta defense who likes to dive in with the crazy pass rush? He’s going to run out of the pocket and try to carry the game on his legs. So what happens when the Falcons put a dedicated LB on him and flush him out of the pocket? Is he going to look for his slant receiver or an outlet pass to the running back? Throw the ball away? No, he’s going to do something stupid. I can’t wait for him to be outed as a sub-par QB and everyone gets off the Vick Train. That being said, the Falcons are no slouches. They lost to Chicago, but it was a tough game on both sides, Ryan didn’t seem to be quite in form. So I’m looking for the Falcons to bounce back and take the Eagles at home. Falcons to win.

St. Louis at NY Giants Line: -4.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Notice a trend forming here with the crapfest game? So far, both of them are Monday night match-ups. Take note ESPN, you need to start paying more for games. Look at the Sunday night match-up on NBC, it kicks ass. Because they know how to bargain a fucking contract. ESPN clearly thinks they can show any two teams playing and people will tune in. Both these teams played no where near their on paper potential last week, looking like high school junior varsity squads against two NFC East opponents who may or may not be legit contenders. Bradford and Jackson both appeared to have suffered injuries during the Eagles game, but most likely will be starting. That’s good, because without those two the Rams don’t have a rats chance in hell of competing. The Giants, well, they have a laundry list of problems to work out. Do they have an offensive line? I didn’t see one against Washington. Eli plays much better when protected from the pass rush. Whatever, I’m taking the Giants at home on a gut shot guess.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: One More Week

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

One more week. How about some snacks?

So last week I said that this week would be my week one picks. I lied. I totally forgot we still had another week to go, hell my fantasy drafts aren’t even all completed. Anyway, I’ve decided to fill this space with some random ramblings related to football. Or not related to football, but mostly related to football. You get the point. I’ll start off with a question, then my answer. My question is what are you looking forward to in week one of the NFL season?

My answer, is I’m looking forward to Michael Vick busting out and costing the Eagles a shit ton of money. Without even starting a game this season outside of a mediocre pre-season, they have signed him to a six year, $100 million dollar deal. That’s the second one of his career. As a side note, he’s broke and nearly all his income is going to debt collection. So he sure did need this deal. The thing is, from my perspective, he’s still not a good pocket passer and his gimmick of running around like a loose pitbull on chicken legs isn’t hard for good defenses to figure out. Cover the receivers, put a spotter on him and it’s game over for the Eagles. Teams figured it out late in the year last year, and Vick was mega human again. It might fool most of the teams on their schedule, but not the top ones and not the ones in the playoffs.

The other thing about Vick is he’s just one James Harrison hit away from getting another season stopping injury. The Eagles play the AFC East this year. You think the Jets (whom they start the season against) and the Patriots are going to go easy on him or be fooled by his antics? Both these teams have excellent secondary defenses and aren’t going to let him win the game by himself. Bottom line, I still think the guy is overrated just a bit. Yes, he can extend plays and help the offense, but he’s still not a true quarterback and I don’t think he ever will be.

Next question, why is Brady Quinn not starting at tight end? The guy is built like a tight end, not a quarterback, not to mention it might be his only chance to start in a NFL game. Otherwise, he could be out of football in a few short months. He’s third string behind a rookie (who is really no better than him) and a veteran that is yet to really prove he’s got the muster to lead a team. Denver should get their shit together and help this kid salvage his career while he’s still young. Move him to TE and let him play.

Colt McCoy. This kid is going to be awesome. He’s got killer poise and pocket presence and he can run too. Colt, aside from having an amazing football name, is going to be an MVP someday for sure. He reminds me of a young Tom Brady, or John Elway really.

I really don’t have much else to talk about this week. I’m hoping Oregon beats the crap out of LSU, considering that LSU can suffer a loss and still be in the thick of it in the SEC, where a one loss PAC-10 team is all but finished. So, that’s it. Next week, week one predictions for sure this time. I promise. Pinky swear and what not.

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: It’s Not Fantasy, It’s Football

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

Will Peyton be able to avoid injury to be a worthy fantasy pick?

Well, by now you’ve read my AFC predictions, and read my NFC predictions. If not, go do that now. I’ll wait.

Ok, welcome back. You can see there are a few surprises on there this year, like the fact that I picked the Lions to actually make the playoffs and my true hatred for the Bucaneers didn’t shine through. Then there are some more obvious picks, like the Packers, Steelers and Patriots making it back to the playoffs with relative ease. I’d also look for Kansas City to do surprisingly well this year, which makes me glad I have Matt Cassel on my first fantasy team.

Speaking about fantasy football, I’m in four leagues this year, two of them pay leagues and I’m running one of those. Being the commish isn’t difficult, until I have to start approving stupid trades. Like the one I offered the other day, hoping to acquire Peyton Hillis, who went very early in our draft. I offered up L.T., who went very late in our draft. I was also a bit surprised that Peyton Manning wasn’t taken until the 13th round or so. Is the possibility for a re-injury that scary that people aren’t drafting him?

Aaron Rodgers has been the number one QB pick in a lot of leagues, as he was in ours. Even though the set rankings had Arian Foster at number one. My number one pick was Calvin Johnson as I was drafting eighth and I knew I wanted a top notch and primary receiver on my team. Plus, I ended up having plenty of choices for QB, ending up with Cassel, Rothlesberger and Josh Freeman. Freeman should have a good year, but I think he’ll throw just as many picks as touchdowns. Rothlesberger is always good for some points, but I think Cassel is going to be the star. Last year his TD to interception ratio was ridiculously good. And if you were wondering, someone did draft Tebow. Last round, a sentimental pick for a Gators fan.

For most fantasy teams, the big questions are coming in at the running back position. There aren’t a lot of backs around the league that are going to be primary ball carriers, so depending on how your league scores, should help you decide which back to pick. If the reward for yards is high, get a back like Shonn Greene. He’s going to be taking most of the handoffs, leaving L.T. to handle the short yardage stuff for the Jets. Then there is Talbert in San Diego who was a surprise break out last year, and should do well again this year, getting the primary load. However, if you can pull someone like Gore or Mendenhall, guys who are going to be primary backs, get ‘em, but you better have a good back up in case they get injured.

There are so many wide receivers out there, you should have no problem getting someone with high stats. Aside from Johnson I also netted Greg Jennings and Hines Ward. You can’t ask for a better receiving core for a fantasy team. I also got Devin Hester, since my league scores for return yards. That’s a huge bonus for a guy like Hester, or Josh Cribbs of the Browns, and Percy Harvin of the Vikings. These guys play both WR and special teams and should net plenty of yards per game. Supplement that with a reliable tight end that gets a fair amount of action, like Ben Watson in Cleveland and you’ve got some serious contention right there.

As far as defense goes (you’ll notice I skipped talking about a kicker, there are 32 starters, pick one) my picks are Detroit or Kansas City. Both these defenses are going to be good, especially Detroit when it comes to sacks. Of course, you can always go with the reliable Steelers D if you can get them. I don’t suggest picking the Bills defense. Another good defense should be Houston, believe it or not. They should be available off waivers.

In other news, Kerry Collins has come out of his short retirement to backup Peyton in Indy. Frankly, I think the Colts made a wise choice because Collins could definitely lead that team to the playoffs. The Colts are nothing without Peyton, but I think they could get by with Collins. Don’t bother picking him up though, as he won’t be starting but maybe the first game.

Next week: Week 1 Predictions! Finally!

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: The Free Agent Shuffle

Friday, August 5th, 2011

See ya next year Randy.

As the 2011 NFL Season finally approaches, you have no doubt been trying to keep up with all the moves taking place in the NFL. A lot of players have switched teams, some voluntarily, some being traded and some just getting lucky to be offered a job. Others are still in the wind, as many teams are struggling to fit their salaries under cap, and other players have simply decided it’s time to just hang up the cleats. Well, I’ve been trying to keep up with the moves as well, and there have been plenty of them. The question is, will any of these moves help the teams win games, or is it just all about the bottom line? I’ll take a look at some of the major moves and give my two cents.

We should probably start with the retirements. First, Brett Favre is still retired. There was only a hint of a rumor that a team was thinking of talking to him, but both camps quickly denied that happening. This is a good thing for football, as the lock-out drama was enough to contend with. The biggest new retiree is Randy Moss, which came as a bit of a surprise to many. It seemed the 34 year old veteran still had some gas in the tank left, even though he was way down in touches last year. I think a player like that, it’s hard for him to accept a position second or third on the depth chart, but that’s where he’ll be if he decided to stay in the league. From a different perspective, he’s retiring on a high note, not run out of the league and with certain hall of fame numbers. Chances are though, he won’t stay retired.

As for the other major name retiring after 11 NFL seasons, Mark Bulger. But no one really gives a shit. They didn’t seem to care when he was playing, and they don’t seem to care now. Sorry Mark. Also, Kerry Collins will be joining Mark on the retired QB list, though I can see Kerry Collins making an easy move to the booth, a la Rich Gannon. Now, let’s take a look at some of those free agency moves. This might be a little ADHD as I hop around the league, but it’s all there. I’ll try to go in order of *former team* by division. With a few exceptions. Whatever. Like you give a shit how it reads.

The Ravens gave guard Marshal Yanda a huge $32M deal, with took up a huge chunk of cap. So Gaither is gone to the Raiders, McClain has headed to Denver, Heap is gone to the Cardinals. Mason and McGahee are still in the wind, having been released but surprisingly no one has picked up either player yet. I can see Mason getting a starting job somewhere, but McGahee is washed up. The Ravens also franchised DT Haloti Ngata.

The Bengals re-signed Benson and the Browns dropped Delhomme like a bad cold. He’ll be lucky if he can find a clipboard holding job this year. The Steelers re-signed Ike Taylor, William Gay, Willie Colon & LaMarr Woodley was given the franchise tag. This ensures the Steelers will have another great defensive year.

Let’s see, the Titans cleaned house. Collins & Moss retired. Babin went to the Eagles, as did Vince Young. Bo Scaife, Chris Simms & Marques Douglas are all in the wind at this point, I imagine they’ll re-sign Scaife because they need a TE, but Simms is questionable. The kid certainly ain’t his father. I’m thinking they’ll keep him as a backup to Hasselbeck, who they just got for 3 years & $21M.

The Jags lost Durant to the Lions and Sims-Walker to the Rams. He’s getting a nice $3.7M 1-year deal, which considering he’s a 3rd down receiver, that’s not too bad. Expect him to get a bigger role there.

Not too much movement with the Colts, they predictably kept Addai and Vinatieri. They are yet to sign back-up RB Rhodes, but they should before pre-season starts. He’s probably going to be competing against some rookies for the #2 spot.  Speaking about #2 spots, the Texans re-signed Matt Leinart who would love to be starting, but it’s probably never going to happen again for him. No other huge outgoing moves for the Texans besides holding on to WR Jacoby Jones. Oh yeah, and getting Danieal Manning from the Bears for a 4-yr, $20 mil deal.

No word yet on Chad Pennington of the Dolphins, he’s not expected to return to the team though. The good news is that Jason Taylor is returning to the team. He left a huge gap in the emotional play of the defense, and even though this will probably be his last season, it’s good that he’s finishing out a stellar career with the Fins. Matt Moore is coming over from Carolina, likely to be the starter in Miami. As for Ronnie Brown, he’s gone. In his place, the Dolphins signed Reggie Bush. Though I think Brown is a much better RB when it comes to down after down play. It’s unknown at this point if Ricky will be there to back up Reggie.

Nothing substantial from the Bills, besides acquiring who-dat QB Tyler Thigpen from the Dolphins.
The Patriots made the most surprising moves, signing both Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocindo, two player notorious for their antics. Obviously, the Pats have done this before and both these players will either adapt or find themselves looking for a new team. They also re-signed Sammy Morris, Faulk and Matt Light, while cutting about 7 other veterans. The Jets also signed a troubled player in Plaxico Burress, but at the same time have left Braylon Edwards in the win. Due to them handing over $50M in a 5 year deal to Santonio Holmes, Edwards is probably as good as gone. Good news for kicking fans, Nick Folk is sticking around for at least another year.

Vincent Jackson signed the franchise tag with the Chargers, while Sproles heads to the Saints and Floyd is unknown. The Raiders lost Zach Miller to the Seahawks and Gradowski (who is only slightly better than Simms) to the Bengals. The big loss was Nnamdi Asomugha who signed a huge 5 year $60M deal with the Eagles. Massive. He’ll be deadly out there at the CB spot, tightening up an Eagles defense who certainly needs the help in the secondary No big crazy moves from the Chiefs or Broncos, as far as anyone getting the boot. The Chiefs did nab Steve Breaston from the Cards though.

Drew Stanton is coming back to Detroit for another year, which is nice for him I guess. Linebackers Bobby Carpenter and Julian Peterson are unsigned as of the moment, but they’ll probably be back on the team soon. Interesting news from the Packers, as they lose Nick Barnett to the Bills for a 3-yr $12M deal. Brandon Jackson is heading to the Browns, and Kuhn is unsigned. The good news is Crosby is coming back with a nice kicker’s deal, 5 years, $14.75M. The Vikings also resigned their kicker, Ryan Longwell. Other than that, they got cherry picked by Seattle with both Sidney Rice and Tavaris Jackson heading to the Northwest.

The Panthers spent some of that cap money. DE Charles Johnson for $76M, DeAngelo Williams at $43M, Ryan Kalil franchised and James Anderson & Thomas Davis resigned as well. Will this help the Panthers compete this year? Who the hell knows. We’ll see when the season starts. Aside from Michael Jenkins going to the Vikings, the offensive team of Snelling & Norwood are currently unsigned. The Falcons running game was second to none last year, and they’ll need these two behind the O-line to compete.  The Saints are sitting with a lot of unsigned free agents as well, but the big news out of the NFC south is the Bucs losing Barrett Rudd to the Titans. Rudd was the lynchpin of that defense since Brooks left. The Bucs are going to be a mess on defense this year.

Marion Barber, gone. Roy Williams, gone. Offensive Linemen Marc Colombo & Leonard Davis – gone. Kris Brown, gone. The Cowboys are in the middle of a huge cleanup. The Redskins, Giants, Cardinals, Niners & Seahawks don’t have much going on besides the whole Hasselbeck deal. As for the Eagles, Vick got the ‘ol franchise tag. They also picked up Vince Young. This should be interesting.

For a full list of moves, click over to this handy-dandy chart on CBS Sports.

Next week – I’ll talk rookies and new staff as we get into my annual AFC Predictions! Boo-ya!

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Awh, what's wrong Brady? Sad you didn't make the Superbowl? (Image: AP Photo/Winslow Townson)

Well, the NFL season only has one actual game left this season. We have the pro-bowl coming up this weekend, but honestly – who gives a shit? I can’t remember the last time I watched more than 15 minutes of a pro-bowl. It’s a nice little popularity contest and vacation for the players and I’m sure it holds some folks over until the Superbowl, but it’s really just crap.

Now that we’ve gotten that little snafu out of the way, I should probably inform you that I will not be making my Superbowl pick this week and explaining why I am picking said team. I did spoil it on Twitter, but I’m not going to repeat myself. If you don’t follow me, then that is your loss. So what to do this week then? Well, I don’t want to drag it out any longer. Excluding the single game picks and scores and lines and what not, let’s take an overall look at how wrong I was this season. Kinda like how I do the power rankings, but making fun of myself instead. And just my playoff picks. I don’t have the patience to go through every single team. If you want to, here are my NFC predictions and AFC Predictions. This should be fun.

NFC North: Packers I’m glad this one is first because it’s my only bright spot in these picks. I said, and I quote, “The Packers will go deep into the playoffs this year and I’m actually predicting them to go all the way to the Superbowl.” I was called a loon for this pick, but look, there they are. In the Superbowl. Yes, I was wrong about nearly every other pick, and the Bears actually won this division, but still. That counts for something right?

NFC East: Cowboys Wrong. So very very wrong. The Cowboys sucked and the Eagles took the division.

NFC West: Cardinals Wrong again. The Cardinals sucked, the Rams sucked, the Niners sucked, the Seahawks sucked… wait – did anyone actually win this division?

NFC South: Falcons Right! Not too far of a stretch. I do have to admit I was way off on both the Bucs and the Panthers, pretty much getting them reversed. Oh well.

Wild Cards: Vikings, Saints Wrong, right. I believe in the Vikings because of Favre, and he ended up being their undoing. The Saints, we knew they’d make it all along.

AFC North: Ravens Wrong, but so very close with this one. The Steelers ended up winning the division, but the Ravens did make the playoffs of course. At least I didn’t go way off the rocker and pick the Browns to win the division. I’m not that much of a fanboy. Sheesh.

AFC East: Jets Wrong, but the Jets did go to the playoffs only to get pistol whipped by the Steelers. The major wrong in this pick was not picking the Patriots to go to the playoffs at all. Instead I picked the Dolphins. What was I thinking?

AFC West: Chargers Wrong again. The Chargers had a late surge in the season, but for the most part were flat all season long. Instead, the Chiefs answered the call and took the division and went to the playoffs for the first time in a long time.

AFC South: Colts Right. Almost not right. The Colts half assed it this year, and limped out in the first round of the playoffs. The Jags made a strong run of it.

Wild Cards: Titans, Dolphins The Titans were not titans this year, they had a rough go of it and the Dolphins were no threat. This pick was way off.

Next week – Superbowl baby! I’m having a party, you all are invited. Bring food.

The shoe cables a repent reward near the visible.