Posts About ‘parenting’

Becoming a Dad

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

I remember when I first found out that I was going to be a father. I was filled with excitement, fear, joy and a bunch of other emotions that you can’t really express unless you’ve been there.

Back then we were living in Virginia and away from all of our family and friends. The decision of how and when to tell people is never an easy thing to do, but we made the best of it and figured it out. We didn’t have things like Twitter or Facebook to tell masses of people at one time, so the news trickled out slowly and surely and it was always fun to have new people find out and get in touch.

This morning my good friend Clarence told the world that he is going to be a poppa and he did it in a way that I’ve never been part of before. He did it by posting the comic below on one of his projects called Planet Wifey. I’ve known about the news for a bit and I’m glad he got the chance (and felt that we were close enough) to tell me in person, but I love that so many other people will find out from this comic.

Planet Wife 2009-10-02

The one thing I tell every guy who tells me they are going to be a Dad for the first time is the same thing a friend from Bentley told me when I told him the news.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “You think you know that you are going to be a Dad, but you really don’t yet. Just wait and at some point, somewhere the news is really going to hit you and then you’ll know you are going to be a dad.”

I laughed it off and then I remember being at a red light, months later on my way home from work when this wave of “oh shit I’m going to be a Dad!” washed over me. I broke down crying and was filled with an even bigger mix of emotions then I had before. I laughed at myself as I realized this is what my friend meant. Now I knew I was going to be a dad.

So, now I give that same bit of advice to every new dad. I also always recommend The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be as my book of choice for guys to read. I read them all and that is the one that stuck with me and was actually written in a way that a guy wants to read and I respected that.

Congrats to Clarence and to all the new Dads out there. It feels like something is in the water lately because there are a lot of new babies on the horizon.

What advice do you give to your friends when they tell you they are becoming fathers? I’d love to hear!

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Stress Comes From Being a Good Dad

Friday, December 26th, 2008

Being a Dad is the most rewarding thing in the world and if you are doing it right then it has moments that are nothing but pure stress.

The Boy and MeYesterday was one of those days. Dylan did some stupid stuff at school and my afternoon went straight from cruising along to permanent distraction from the stress of his actions. I kept trying to get back to the pile of things I wanted to get done, but I just couldn’t focus. I hadn’t had something like that sideline me in a long time.

Everything is fine and in the grand scheme of life it is not a big deal, but it was one of those life lessons that a father has to teach a son.

We took a walk out into the woods behind our house to this big boulder and sat on that for a while talking about a lot of different things. It was a good bonding moment and one that I hope sticks with him. Plus, for me it got me in the woods where I can always re-balance and calm down. My “cathedral of the pines” as I’ve called it more then once.

There are a lot of core values that as a Dad I must instill in my son. I know that as he turns 10 in a few weeks those lessons are going to continue to become even more important and that things are not going to get any easier. Double digits? Wow did that sneak up on me!

I wouldn’t trade being a Dad for anything in the world, but damn it can deliver a mean right hook to your brain some times! *laugh*