I’m not sure where to begin this week. There is a lot going on in sports news, but that’s not what this column is about. This column is about what sports items I want to talk about. I could give a shit about Tiger Woods not wanting to play in another major, we’ve already been over that. The guy needs some pussy. We could talk about the Heat and the Mavericks all tied up, and the media blaming LeBron for the game four breakdown, but really, who wants to talk about the NBA now? Most of us are just wishing it would go away altogether. No, today I’m going to start off with the biggest story out there – Terrelle Pryor.
You see, Terrelle Pryor has decided that he’s not going to suffer the indignation of having to face the Buckeye faithful for another year at college, instead, he’s going to attempt to take his skills to the NFL. As a Buckeye fan myself, I have to wish nothing but the absolute worst for Pryor, just like Maurice Clarett. Right now, he’s ranked just above an undrafted free agent, in terms of wantability. I think I just made that word up. But he’s clearly skipping the draft and is going to try his hand at just getting picked up as an undrafted free agent. But really, he’s already proven his moral worth, why would any NFL team want him?
They would for two reasons. One, he’s going to come cheap. He’s done that to himself. He doesn’t have a choice in the matter. This is a player who could have gone first in the draft next year, but instead will probably go to the highest bidder. I mean, there is the July supplemental draft, but that’s not where the money is either. No, he’s screwed in that department. Second, he can play. Morals or not, the kid can move but he’s got a lot to learn about the game of football, and we were hoping he’d spend one more year at OSU to learn it there.
Speaking about OSU, they still haven’t appeared before the NCCA on all those pesky infractions, Tressel and Pryor leaving is just the tip of the iceberg. This after USC was stripped of it’s 2004 championship because of Reggie Bush’s greedy ass. That’s the thing, it’s greed that forced Pryor to sell memorabilia, raking in about 40k last year allegedly. Does a college student who is getting free room and board, free meals and a free education really need an additional 40k to walk around with? New cars? Do they need these things? Fuck no they don’t. Do they need something? Yes, yes they do.
Which brings me to this point, how much did OSU make off Pryor jerseys? Tons of cash right? They treat these players like superstars, not like students playing football and that’s what has created this sense of entitlement at schools like OSU & USC. The focus is on the football program, win at all costs. However, there is no reason that students like Pryor, star players, shouldn’t be rewarded in some way for their efforts. If they were given a weekly cash stipend (aside from the aforementioned free education, room & board and meals) so they could go clubbing and buy drugs, guns & whores, then maybe they’d finish their education. Maybe schools would have better graduation rates. Maybe kids would have better role models. The good thing for Pryor is he’s heading to the NFL, where they could really give a shit about morality when it comes to players personal lives, which is the really fucked up bit.
Lenny Dykstra Goes Bat Shit Crazy
Here’s my favorite story of the week. If you haven’t heard, Lenny Dykstra, former New York Met and so called “stock market savant” was hit with a 13-count indictment after filing Bankruptcy in 2009. Basically because he lied about selling off assets. Compound that with a former maid accusing Lenny of getting naked and demanding a massage, of the happy ending variety. That all doesn’t make him crazy. What makes Dykstra crazy is his recent column in the NY Post, who was kind enough to give him a forum to rant. Awesome. His statement, er, column is full of the normal paranoid crap one would expect from the former-star-turned-criminal-loonbat-looking-for-a-payday celebrity. I use that last term loosely.
Dykstra claims that his current struggles are part of some fateful, divine plan. Of course he does, your God forbid he admit to his own greed and lies. He of course believes the government is out to get him as if there is a room in the pentagon with dedicated agents going after faded baseball stars who can’t get jobs on radio or TV. I mean really, if you can’t even land a radio gig as an ex-player then you must have some sort of dysfunction. Then Lenny goes on to laud his indictment, as it gives him the freedom to sell his story. As what? A self help book? I got a title for you Lenny, “I’m a Lying Fuck. Don’t do What I Did.” Hold on, I’d like to end on that joke but it gets better.
Lenny claims that he was tortured and “physically and mentally assaulted” by police during his arrest and booking. Are you fucking kidding me Lenny? Torture victims don’t write op-eds the next day. Bottom line, if you are entertained by delusional ex-ballplayers, you gotta read that column. Fucking hilarious. Dykstra has clearly lost his marbles.
Will he be ‘The Great One’ Junior?
We all know who Wayne Gretzky is. He’s only the greatest hockey player ever. So the question is, will his son – Trevor – be the greatest baseball player ever? Really doubtful, as he was drafted in the seventh round by the Chicago Cubs. He’s a first baseman, and wears number 99 like his father. The Cubs also picked up the son of one of their notable stars from the past, Shawon Dunston Jr., other notable children of baseball players drafted were the sons of Ivan Rodriguez, Steve Garvey and Kevin Seitzer, and the great-nephew of Eddie Gaedel. I know you don’t know who that is, so click the link. Fucking hilarious.
Human Interest Story of the Day
Also drafted this week was University of Georgia outfielder Johnathan Taylor. He was drafted in the 33rd round by the Texas Rangers. The thing about Taylor is that he’s paralyzed. Not totally, he’s what is called a tetrapalegic. His legs are paralyzed, and he has limited movement in his arms and hands. He was paralyzed in a mid-field collision with teammate Zach Cone, who was drafted by the Rangers in the second round. In 2010 Taylor hit .335 with a team-best .442 OBP for the Bulldogs in 2010. Based on that, and the fact that his spinal cord isn’t severed, he could play again. That’s being real hopeful, but I’m sure Cone still feels pretty shitty about it, even though it was an accident. This was a great PR move for the Rangers, and I hope that they keep Taylor within the organization as long as possible. He could easily be the guy that just sits outside the bullpen, keeping score and answering the phone.