Posts About ‘nfl’

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 12

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

"If you drop one more pass, no Pumpkin Pie for you!!"

Happy Thanksgiving football fans. Today, of course is the day we celebrate some religiously persecuted folks and their slow but deliberate destruction of the indigenous peoples on this continent. Or something like that. Frankly, the whole thing is a bit fuzzy. All I know is that we eat a lot of Turkey, fight with our families and get completely blitzed. Oh yeah, there is also football. Three games this year, and for the first time in a long time – they don’t suck. How about that?

There is a lot of parity in the NFL this year, which probably accounts for my 101-59 (63%) record on the year. Last week I managed to pull a 10-4 week, but plenty of people at work made me look the fool with their 12-2 picks. Whatever. This week we return to 16 games, bye weeks are finally completely over (I called them over in week 10, forgetting that there were byes in week 11.) There are so many teams at 6-4 and 5-5 that it’s hard to get a good outlook for the playoffs. Teams like the Patriots could falter, while the Bills could wake the fuck up. What about the Lions? On a decline, they bounced back last week against the Panthers. You still in their camp?

Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’m going to theme todays post, just cause I can. Since this is the most awesome NFL column on the entire internets (besides TMQ) I can do that. On a side note, I’m selling some original Xbox games. Someone buy them. On another side note, I’m not making any picks this week. Instead, I’m cooking a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, 16 different and tasty dishes, laid out on the table for you to enjoy. So grab a fork, grab some peppermint schnapps and a glass of cheap ass wine. It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner!

Turkey (White Meat)

Green Bay at Detroit Line: +7.0
The undefeated Packers roll into Motown to face off with the faltering Lions. At one point, I had predicted that both these teams would be undefeated going into this game. Wouldn’t that have been something? Well, the Lions instead decided to start losing games through interceptions and terrible penalties. Last week they seemed to turn around in the second half and scoring enough points to beat the scrappy Panthers. This week however they face off against the best offense in the league. Sure, they’ll score some points and probably early, but I don’t see them ever holding a lead or winning the game. However, this is going to be a great game on the offensive side of the ball for sure. If Stafford makes the mistakes he made last week though, expect the Packers to really run away with the game. That defense, while allowing a lot of points, is unforgiving when it comes to taking advantage of turnovers. Packers to win on the road.

Honey Baked Ham

San Francisco at Baltimore Line: -4.5
A win here would be so freaking sweet for the Niners. They are headed directly for the playoffs and an East coast win against a tough team would solidify that quest. Of course, they’ve already beaten the Lions, so they’ve had a tough test. The Ravens present a different test though, but I’m not sure what it is. The Ravens run defense has been suspect of late, and the Niners run game is the best in the league. The evolution of Crabtree and Alex Smith into a dynamic duo has been fun to watch. This game also features the match-up of Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh. Which brother will win? I think it’ll once again (for the Ravens) come down to the offense, which has sputtered lately. They came alive against the Bengals just long enough to put the game away, but fought the whole time. The Niners are much better than the Bengals and this is put up or shut up time. I think the Niners put up. Niners to win on the road. Sweet.

Mashed Potatoes

Miami at Dallas Line: -7.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
As if Thanksgiving day isn’t interesting enough with the other two games, this one is mashed right in the middle. A buttery and delicious pairing that four weeks ago we wouldn’t have given one blink about. However, the Dolphins are on a three game tear, and they are looking good doing it. Last week they plastered the Bills, while the Cowboys had to take their drama to overtime to beat the Redskins. Romo looked like he does on paper and played a good game, but the defense let the Redskins stay in the game. Matt Moore is out for some revenge against the team that drafted and waived him, but I also said the Bills would revenge against the Cowboys and they got pistol whipped. The Dolphins are playing solid defense, and this is their chance to prove that they aren’t sucking for Luck. Matt Moore could do well to land himself a starting job. So I’m taking the Dolphins to mash the Cowboys, if only by a small margin. Dolphins to upset on the road.

Turkey (Dark Meat)

Chicago at Oakland, 4:05 Line: -4.5
Do no underestimate the Raiders. While they are still back and forth on defense, they are in no way a team that should be overlooked. And yeah, a 6-5 record and the Broncos biting at their heels isn’t indicative of a full playoff ready run. The offense is starting to seriously click with Carson Palmer (go figure.) Bad news for the Bears, Jay Cutler is out, probably for the rest of the season. So backup Caleb Hanie is ready to take over the reigns. But wait, what’s this? There are reports that the Bears are looking at newly release Kyle Orton. That is not a vote of confidence in the young Hanie. In fact, it’s a bit of an insult to both Hanie and Cutler. Even though Orton has a history with the Bears, it’s too late to bring in a new QB. Hanie knows the system. We’ll see how he does against the Raiders I suppose. Plus, there are other teams higher on the waiver wire that will get first crack at Orton. More on that in a second. This game is going to be a dark, violent, evil affair down there in the pit of the Colosseum. I’m taking the Raiders to prevail in the darkness.

Stuffing

New York at New Orleans Line: -7.0
Here’s a game that really matters this week. Both teams playoff hopes are hanging in the balance and they desperately need a win to push them towards the top. The Giants looked weird last week, taking a loss off a late fumble by Eli Manning. Not sure how he didn’t see that coming. An off week for the Saints should breathe new life into an offense that hasn’t been as explosive this year as it has been in previous years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been good just not crazy good. The Giants pass rush and run defense is going to be the key here, which means Manning needs to sustain drives to give his defense a proper rest. I think he’ll have trouble doing that. I’m taking the Saints to win at home.

Gravy

New England at Philadelphia Line: +3.0
Every meal on Thanksgiving needs a big pile of brown slop to pour on top right? For me, the gravy is the slow decline of the Eagles season after Vick got a huge contract. Yeah, they got some new life last week and Vince Young was able to pull of an improbable win that he probably shouldn’t have. However, who cares? This is about the mega love the media (save for yours truly) gave the Eagles and Vick. I’m glad they suck, cause I love being right and I haven’t liked this team from the start. Yes, McCoy is having a killer season, and he’s going to run at will against the Patriots, who prefer to allow as many points as humanly possible before scoring more points than the other team. The gravy is when the Eagles lose this game and are put away for good, way out of contention for the playoffs and then the media can shut the fuck up about this team. Patriots to win.

Giblets

Cleveland at Cincinnati Line: -7.5
Gah. Who cares? The Browns suck! My Dawgs did everything they could to lose that game last week, but still won thanks to terrible play calling by Jack Del Rio and the Jags. They should have lost, they deserved to lose and keep getting minor accolades for winning. The defense has sparks of greatness and can certainly contain the run, but Haden has as many penalty yards as great plays. He’s young and makes mistakes. The running game has been crap since Hillis went out with his mystery hammy injury, though Obyganna (whatever) hasn’t been half bad. The Bengals meanwhile came real close to beating the Ravens last week and where Ponder is a good rookie who loses and Tebow is a terrible rookie who wins, Dalton is a good rookie who wins. He makes smart decisions, accurate passes and only the loss of AJ Green last week (in my estimation) kept the Bengals from winning the game. Dalton needs that deep threat. This week though, all he would need is a dog who can catch a football. Bengals to win.3

Canned Cranberry Sauce

Minnesota at Atlanta Line: -9.5
Where Tebow has his constant detractors while he is winning games, Ponder seems to have nothing but love and good happy feelings as he’s losing games. Why? Cause he’s not spouting Jesus love in the locker room after games? Or because he’s a more accurate passer? Either way, he’s still making plenty of rookie mistakes and the defense is doing all they can to keep games close. The Vikings should have beaten the Raiders last week, but didn’t. They just couldn’t keep Ponder from making some crucial errors, but hey, he’s a rookie right? Bullshit. This week they go dome to dome to play the Falcons, who had a tough go of it last week, but seemed in control the whole game. The Falcons need every win they can get if they want to beat out the Saints for the NFC South crown. I don’t think the Vikings will get in their way too much, unless Ponder suddenly turns into not a rookie. Falcons to win at home.

Candied Yams

Carolina at Indianapolis Line: +4.0
At first I was like, “hmm, the Colts need to win one game this season right? This could be the one. Coming in after a bye week, they could be raring to go.” Then I remembered that they truly do suck major balls. The Panthers are playing well, and in the rookie QB conversation Cam Newton is right there at the top. But some serious defensive woes and his offensive line keeping him on the run have kept this team from reaching their true potential. Against the Colts though, they are going to look like gods. The Colts have failed to slow down any runners this season, so I expect Cam and Jonathan Stewart to put up huge rushing yards against the Colts. Hell, they can just run the whole game and suck up time. At least that half of the game will be fun to watch. Panthers to win on the road.

Green Beans

Houston at Jacksonville Line: +3.5
Just so you know, this is the last game I’m writing about this week. Yeah, some kind of order right? For the first time in, well, ever the Texans are all but assured a playoff berth at the top of the division. But they have to keep up their winning ways and hope they don’t falter with Leinart at the helm. We all thought they would when Andre Johnson went out, they didn’t. When Arian Foster was out for a while, we thought they were dead in the water again, but Tate stepped up. I think this is a well coached team that has a solid chance at winning in the first round. So this week, Leinart gets a moderately easy refresher with the Jags. They lost to the Browns last week. The Browns! They suck. Texans to win.

Cornbread

Washington at Seattle Line: -4.5
The Seahawks beat the Ravens. Do you remember that? While they have no chance at the playoffs, they followed that up with a whipping of the Rams. On the other side of the ball, the Redskins can’t decide who they want to hold the ball under center. That, and the fact that Shanahan still likes making dumb ass time management decisions and challenges ultimately dooms this team. Grossman played well against the Cowboys, but once again their secondary was almost nonexistent, letting Romo do whatever he wanted. Yeah, the Seahawks don’t have that kind of offense, but they do have a consistent running game and a strong run defense. I think they shut down the Redskins offense, who certainly don’t travel well, and win at home. That’s what I think.

Tossed Salad

Buffalo at NY Jets Line: -8.5
The 5-5 Bills, who have been losing like a bunch of chumps lately ride into New York (New Jersey) to meet the 5-5 Jets who have been losing like a bunch of chumps lately. There is nothing spectacular about this game. It’s a toss up as to who is going to play just good enough to win. Where the Jets defense was once undefeatable, the Bills offense was just as strong. Now, they both are looking lethargic as Sanchez and Fitzpatrick are proving they are not elite quarterbacks and probably never will be. Thanks to some clever negotiating, Fitzpatrick has his huge contract, then he started losing. The Jets running game is hurting, and the Bills running game isn’t looking any better with Jackson out this week. So that kills the play action and leaves it on the offensive lines to protect long enough for passing. I think the Bills still have a better receiver core, and will win the passing game. For that reason, I’m taking the Bills to win by a slight margin, but really, this game could go either way.

Pumpkin Pie

Denver at San Diego Line: -7.0
The 5-5 Denver Tebows now get a solid challenge in division rival (and also 5-5) NOrv Turner led Chargers. Of course, Norv (how does he still have a job) Turner is only getting worse as time goes on. It’s like the guy never looks at the clock. His management, coaching, of his team is getting worse. No wonder they look like they don’t want to be there. The Chargers are in a sad state of affairs these days, because they have the talent but the drive seems to be missing. Rivers is a good quarterback at heart, but he makes too many mistakes under Norv’s system. So what about the Broncos? Well, they just released Orton, pretty much saying they are putting their money behind Tebow. Elway isn’t sold, which is kind of douchey because Tebow has better stats in his first eight games than Elway had (see below inforgraphic.) No matter what you or Jake Plummer think about the guy, he’s a winner. As Tebow super fan @mbletschtold me about this game, “If he wins, I bet you Norv Turner gets fired. TEBOW!!” I’m Tebowing all over the place these days. Whipped cream baby, just not on any chicks breasts. Tebow won’t have any of that. Broncos to win on the road.

Uh, shut the hell up Elway.

Pecan Pie

Pittsburgh at Kansas City Line: +10.5
Really though, when it comes down to it there is nothing we like more in football more than a nice old fashioned ass whipping. And here’s your ass whipping game this week. The Chiefs are floundering. Cassel is done for the season, nice waste of money there. And you want to talk about inaccurate passing? Take a look at freaking Palko. He threw three interceptions last week, and yeah, it was against the Patriots but who cares? He missed many passes, especially down the sideline. It wasn’t all about lack of protection either, the kid just isn’t ready for the big show. Against the Steelers? He’s got to be shitting in his goddamn boots. The Steelers will crush the Chiefs this weekend, into a substance resembling the gooey center of a pecan pie. Steelers to win.

Collard Greens

Tampa Bay at Tennessee Line: -3.5
If I’m not mistaken (as I often am) Chris Johnson averaged like 1.1 yards a carry last game, really stinking up the joint. Kind of a disgrace after that huge contract he was given for the last couple of years. Consider that back pay buddy. Last week, Hasselbeck was out and Jake Locker came in and almost brought the Titans back against a tougher Falcons team. He’s about to get into the conversation about rookie QB’s. I’m not sure who is playing this weekend, though it looks like Hasselbeck will get the start. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I think Locker is going to be a great quarterback. The kid is damn good and I think the Titans should just go ahead and play him this weekend, let him learn the system and get some experience. Hasselbeck is gone next year, probably retired and the Titans aren’t making the playoffs this year (though not mathematically out.) Either way, the Bucs are too inconsistent on both sides of the ball this year to really be much of a threat to anyone – save for the Packers. What happened last week was just the Packer defense challenging the offense by letting the Bucs think they had a chance. They didn’t. Titans to win at home.

Leftovers

Arizona at St. Louis Line: -0.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Oh shit, there’s another game this week. I almost forgot this match-up because pretty much everyone in the NFL universe couldn’t give a shit about this game. Both teams are playing like shit, both teams have no chance at a winning record and both teams make the other one look that much better. Do you think the Rams can manage to protect Bradford long enough to complete a pass? How about that Skelton guy? He’s making Kolb look better day by day and vice versa. No microwave in the world could heat up this mess to make it look appetizing. Just throw out the paper plates and order a pizza. Rams to win at home.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 11

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

My picks last week were like Vick's ribs

So last week, sucked. Let’s not talk about last week. It makes me very, very sad. Like super sad. Like mega super ultra sad. Let me just say this, I have never had a week as bad as last week. I’m tracking stats, so I’ll look at them next week. Until that point, I’m going to go soak my head. I’m supposed to be an expert right? Apparently not. So, that has kind of made me a little crazy. This week, I’m going off the deep end with my picks.

In other news, right now it’s around 6am pacific time as I’m writing this. The only reason that is significant is that I’m in Los Angeles attending the L.A. Auto Show. I wasn’t sure if there was even going to be a column this week, due to my schedule. But I can’t let my biggest fan @mbletsch down. So, I have about an hour to write this, so I’m going to knock down the normal 3000 word column and do the quick version. Each game will still be represented, my analysis is just going to be a bit more brief. So, let’s get it on! I’m getting hungry for some trendy breakfast.

Featured Game

Philadelphia at NY Giants Line: -3.5
This game is featured cause this is where the Eagles disappear. This where Sportscenter stops talking about the mathematical posibility of the Eagles making the playoffs. It’s not going to happen. They are going to lose this game, with Vince Young stepping in for a rib broken Mike Vick, and they are going to fade into obscurity. Good bye Eagles. Fuck off. Giants to win.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

NY Jets at Denver Line: +5.5
Vegas has taken out an over/under on Tebows completions at 11. I’m taking the over. He’s going to have to pass against the Jets. Their mega blitz is going to push him out of the box like crazy. That being said, the Broncos have the magic of Tebow and for that reason, and that reason alone I’m taking them to win at home. Yep.

Jacksonville at Cleveland Line: +1.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Who cares? The Jags beat the Colts last week because Painter sucks. The Browns missed a game winning field goal because of the fucking long snapper. You have ONE job dude, and you messed it up. Go sell used cars. Browns to win at home.

Carolina at Detroit Line: -7.0
Detroit has lost three of the last four. What is going on with this team? They are falling fast, but they return home to that very loud crowd. Let’s see if Cam Newton can fight off the noise of the crowd, and the toughest defense he’s faced yet. However, that defense has been shit lately. I’m sticking with the Lions to win at home.

Tampa Bay at Green Bay Line: -14.0
Ha. This line is too generous. If the Bucs don’t lose by 35 points in Green Bay I’ll be surprised. I’m sure this young team would love to come back and get an upset win, but it’s not going to happen. Green Bay is your repeat Superbowl champion. I have no choice but to predict that happening. Green Bay to win at home.

Buffalo at Miami Line: -2.0
This match-up is one of my favorites every year. These two teams play each other like it’s a fucking playoff game. The rest of the year doesn’t matter when these rivals meet. While the Dolphins are on a hot streak right now, and the Bills are on a low streak they are meeting somewhere in the middle. I’m going off the diving board head first and picking the Dolphins to win. I have no idea why, just doing it.

Oakland at Minnesota Line: -1.0
Vikings aren’t looking too bad. I mean, they got smoked by the Packers last week, but they aren’t sucking it up really. Ponder is showing great progression as a starting QB. The Raiders, are winning their division but only by one game. The whole division behind them is tied. They have to win this game. They won’t. Peterson is going to slice them up. I’m taking the Vikings to win at home.

Dallas at Washington Line: +8.0
Did you see the Cowboys last week? They were dominant. Did you see the Redskins last week? Name their starting QB. Didn’t think so. Shanahan is losing it, his decision making suggests dementia. The Cowboys are going to make the Redskins home crowd all sad and shit. Cowboys to win.

Cincinnati at Baltimore Line: -9.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
The Ravens went to Seattle and lost. A week after beating the Steelers for the second time this year. Finally, they are back home after their stupid west coast trip and welcome the Bengals. The Bengals lost to the Steelers last week, knocking them back to reality. Can they hurdle the Ravens this week? I think this is the upset brewing. I think the Ravens offense is confused right now for some reason, and Dalton held it together against the Steelers, it wasn’t a blowout. It was a loss. I’m taking the Bengals to upset.

Seattle at St. Louis Line: -3.0
The Seahawks surprisingly beat the Ravens last week, and the Rams got lucky against the Browns. Who cares? The Niners seal up the division with a win today, finally ending the sadness of a losing team getting to the playoffs from the NFC West. For the rest of the year, these two teams are playing for second place, with no chance of smelling the ass crack of the playoffs. Who cares who wins this game? Whatever. I’m taking the Rams.

Arizona at San Francisco Line: -10.0
Meh. Niners to win and complete their amazing rise to power. Next stop, playoffs.

Tennessee at Atlanta Line: -6.5
The Oilers, er, Titans are the up and down, hot and cold team of the year. They had a great week last week, but who knows how they are going to be this week? The Falcons blew it in overtime to the Saints. You’ve gotta run some fucking misdirection on fourth and short plays! It was a good decision, just bad execution. I think the Falcons hold it together this week and rebound with a strong win, staying in the race for the NFC South. Falcons at home.

San Diego at Chicago Line: -4.0
The Chargers are the other hot and cold team. Actually, they are just cold. They are painful to watch, and I’m glad I’m not a Chargers fan. The good news is they are in a 3 way tie for second place in the division, so they still have a shot. They don’t have a shot against the Bears at home though, who have been dominating lately. That win against the Lions was fucking huge. HUGE. Bears to win at home.

Kansas City at New England Line: -14.5
Upset special… just kidding. The Patriots are looking more like the Patriots, but what the hell is up with the defense lately? They are making it harder for Brady and the offense. And he finally passed down the field to Ochocinco. You have to use that deep threat more often to open up the play action, just like using the run. Do it. Patriots to win.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Indianapolis
The Colts, ugh. Suck for Luck right?

Bye Week at New Orleans
The Saints still have some work to do if they want to win the division. They have to keep the Falcons at bay. Cause the wild card is not coming from this division. It’s going to be the Bears or the Lions.

Bye Week at Pittsburgh
The Steelers can’t coast to the division title this year. The Ravens and the Bengals are making it a fight. A fight worth watching. Like two hot chicks at a frat party fighting in the pool. Take it off! Take it off!

Bye Week at Houston
Everyone keeps saying that this is the year for Houston. Until Schaub got injured last week. Now, he’ll probably be out for the season. So can Houston keep winning? I think so, because it’s been the running game and the defense that has been winning games.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 10

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Can the magic Ginger & AJ Green beat the Steelers?

Let’s not bust any time this week. I have a busy schedule. Last week I added some gut picking to the picks. I’m dumping that. It was nice, but I actually ended up exactly the same, 8-6, as my thoughtful picks. I’m a little pissed off at my season total, 84-46 (65%) but it appears the goofballs at CBS Sports (where I frequently get my NFL news, I don’t know why) aren’t doing much better. So that’s nice. I feel a little bit better. I also feel okay because the games were so damn close last week, at least, the ones that I lost.

In other NFL news, the bye weeks are over. So that means two things. One, I’m back to picking sixteen full games. And two, it means that the Thursday night games start. I don’t like the Thursday night games because that means that’s one less game on NFLRedZone on Sunday. And I’m not staying up Thursday night to midnight to watch the game. Especially since I just got Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 and if I’m going to stay up, it’s going to be cause I’m getting my ass kicked by ten year olds online.

In other non NFL news, a happy belated birthday to my one female reader, Jennifer H. She just turned 30 or something. I don’t know. Either way, she’s older than her husband. Not a cougar, just a cradle robber. I mean, not now, but when they started dating. I think he was like 12 and she was 15 or something. Does that mean he’s got game or she doesn’t? I don’t know. Either way, happy birthday and feel free to name your pending baby after me or any NFL quarterback besides John Beck.

Featured Game

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati Line: +3.0
There are a lot of huge games this week, divisional match-ups and non divisional playoff type games. It was hard to choose which game to put up here in the top spot, but considering the Bengals position, it had to be them. They are the surprise lead in the AFC North, but have not played either the Ravens or the Steelers. This week, they welcome Pittsburgh to Ohio to finally take on the Steelers, which will be the real test of their mettle. The Steelers lost a squeaker to the Ravens (of which time management was again the enemy) after beating the Patriots. So what to think about them? We know they have a great defense, but the Bengals defense is also top three. Most of the experts are picking the Bengals to finally prove themselves, but they forget about that rookie QB at the helm. Yes, Dalton has played well so far, but he has not met a defense as good as his or as tough as the Steelers. It will be a bit of a shock. Dalton, I’d like you to meet James Harrison and the rest of the Steelers front D-line. Good luck. Steelers to win on the road and reset balance to the AFC North.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Oakland at San Diego Line: -7.0
Carson Palmer showed he’s still got the moves, throwing for over 300 yards and 3TD’s in his second start in Oakland. Don’t mind the 3 interceptions though. Or the fact that Oakland got beat hard by the Broncos defense. Who saw that coming? This week, they are hoping to get back to form against a struggling and confused Chargers team. Is this team from San Diego any good? Or is Rivers clearly still struggling under coach Norv Turner and his terrible time management and decision making skills? Rivers also threw 3 interceptions last week, 2 of them for touchdowns. Otherwise, he had a good game against a Green Bay defense that doesn’t seem to give a shit. I don’t expect him to pick apart the Oakland defense, as they generally play QB’s like Rivers a bit closer to the belt than guys like Tebow. Close game, but I’m taking the home team. Chargers to win.

New Orleans at Atlanta Line: -1.0
The killer divisional match-ups start right here in the dome in Atlanta. I’m going to say right now I’m leaning towards the Falcons. At home, Matt Ryan looks like a freaking god. They picked apart the Colts last week and only a pick six kept it from being a total shut-out. The Saints smacked around the lethargic Bucs, but clearly looking ahead to this game. The key of course is going to be whether or not Atlanta can shut down Darren Sproles amazing skills past the line of scrimmage. I’m going to say the holes in the Saints secondary will be enough for the Falcons to come out ahead. Falcons to win by a nose.

St. Louis at Cleveland Line: -3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
While there are tons of great games, there are also a few games like this. Will the Rams be able to compete after several weeks on the road and getting beat in overtime by a terrible Arizona team? Will the Browns, who have shown nothing on offense and whose defense is slowly getting worse be able to secure a much needed home win so their fans don’t finally desert them? It’s hard to say. What is easy to say is that both these teams are performing no where near their potentials and are right where they deserve to be. The Browns would benefit from only giving the ball to Josh Cribbs, since he’s the only competent offensive player on the team right now. Browns to barely win at home.

Buffalo at Dallas Line: -5.5 UPSET SPECIAL!!
On paper this is a so-so game, but in reality this game could be a make it or break it game for both teams. Last week the Bills were smacked down to reality by a Jets defense that didn’t allow Fred Jackson to run hog wild the whole game. While the Cowboys defense won’t offer as much resistance, the Bills defense will have to worry about stopping the run of explosive rookie back DeMarco Murray. The Cowboys have some ground to cover if they want to climb up and compete with the Giants who are secretly running away with the division. With half the season behind them, now is the time. However, the Bills are not just going to lay down now. Last weeks loss should have woken them up, rather than set them down. They have to contend with the Patriots. Plus, after settling an old score with the Redskins, the Bills have the same score to settle with the team that beat them in two Superbowls. Bills to win on the road.

Jacksonville at Indianapolis Line: +3.0
Last year, this would have been an easy choice. You would have said, “Peyton, no question. Colts to win.” This week the Colts are coming off a serious drubbing at home by the Falcons, and have yet to pull a win this season. There is no way the team is intentionally losing, but they certainly look like they aren’t trying very hard. Have they given up already? If the opposing defense promises to only two hand touch Peyton can he come in and play? Poor Curtis Painter, he’ll never get another starting gig in the NFL unless he can make something happen this season, which means, get a fucking win. Could this be the week? The hot and cold Jaguars come to town after a bye week and previously beating the Ravens in a strange turn of defensive prowess. If they even have a little bit of that defense, the Colts shouldn’t be an issue. But I don’t think they Colts have a 0-16 season in them, not in the defense and not in the spirit of the team. This is win number one, if only their only win this season. Colts at home.

Denver at Kansas City Line: -3.5
Did you start Tim Tebow in fantasy football last week? Sure he only had a little over a hundred yards passing, but he had over a hundred rushing and two touchdowns. Finally the Denver coaching staff realized they can’t put a young and maturing Tebow in a traditional spread offense. Instead, they adapted to the college style read option which Tebow owned while he was at Florida. In this, and strong defense by the Broncos, he is now 2-1 as a starter. Say what you want about the guy, but he is more of a winner than a loser. So suffice it to say, the Chiefs will have watched some tape this week, if they have gotten over their sorry loss to the Dolphins. The Chiefs, after winning four in a row, quickly reverted back to how bad they were at the beginning of the season. Did they get too cocky? Ahead of themselves? The Broncos, mathematically, can still win this division. No matter how plucky the KC defense is, I think that the read option beats them. Denver Tebows to win. Yeah, I’m picking it. And starting him in fantasy.

Washington at Miami Line: -4.0
I think someone on the Miami staff reads this column. They must. The week I declare that I will no longer pick them to win, they roll into Kansas City and deliver a royal smack down. They looked like a playoff caliber team. Moore threw well, Bush looked like a rookie again and they dominated on defense. Where has this team been all season? I’d like to think I was the one who motivated them to this point. That’s probably not true, but whatever. Based soley on the performance of the Dolphins last week and the fact that the Redskins have about as much offense with John Beck as a high school flag football team, Dolphins to rack up their second win.

Arizona at Philadelphia Line: -0.0
You can stare at that line all you want, it’s not going to change. This is a zero line game and for good reason, both these teams have an overpriced quarterback who isn’t worth his salt. To add fuel to the fire, last week with Kolb out, Skelton came in and won the game. Ok, to be fair to the defense, Skelton didn’t do shit. A huge blocked field goal and an overtime pick-6 secured the win. That’s what did it. Kolb might miss another start against the team that might be wishing they’d have kept him on. Instead, they get to watch Vick throw interception after interception and get hit on almost every play. It’s hard to protect your QB if he’s no longer standing anywhere near you. Regardless, the Cardinals offense is almost nonexistent. Barely beating the Rams, who have been the recipients of blowouts this year, doesn’t bode well for them against a stronger defensive team like the Eagles. I hate to do it, but Eagles to win.

Houston at Tampa Bay Line: +3.0
The Texans are flexing their AFC South dominant muscles now. They’ve all but secured what turned out to be a pretty shitty division this year. Rolling into Tampa with probably the best running game tandem in Tate and Foster is pretty much an automatic win right? Right? Right. The Tampa Bay Sucs (can we go back to that now) have been my most inconsistently picked team this year. I think that’s cause I inexplicably went against the grain and actually decided they might be good this year even though I hate them. Fuck that logic. I’m right back to hating them, as only once have I picked them correctly, and that was last week against the Saints. No more of that noise. Plus, the Texans are too damn good right now and the Sucs Barber can’t be everywhere on the field, committing penalties. Texans to win on the road.

Tennessee at Carolina Line: -3.5
You know, any recent season, with the Panthers terrible run defense and the presence of Chris Johnson, one might be easily swayed to pick the Titans to win this game. This year? With the Panthers crappy run defense and Chris Johnson unable to rack up fifty yards a game, one might be tempted to pick the Panthers to win. Especially with the electric Cam Newton at QB. But, as Michael Vick is proving, being electric doesn’t mean shit if you don’t win games, and the Panthers do not have a winning record. Instead, they come off a bye and welcome the struggling Titans to town who looked mediocre at best last week against the Bengals and lost. This week, they’ll look mediocre at best against the Panthers, and lose. Panthers at home.

Baltimore at Seattle Line: +7.0
After a rough game against the Steelers, as everyone knew it was going to be, the Ravens get to travel all the way to the west coast to take on the Seahawks. Who put that shit in that order on the schedule? Either way, the Ravens, while at time sluggish on offense, are always strong on defense. The veteran defensive players probably travel better than Joe Flacco and his on again off again offense. Plus, the Seahawks have no offense. I mean, technically they have one that is on the field, but they suck at it. The question is, will they finish low enough to draft a QB first round? Ravens to win on the road.

Detroit at Chicago Line: -3.0
This is a tough one in Chicago. The Bears just made the Eagles look like a practice squad last week, while the Lions were taking a nap after a few strange losses (and an ass whipping of Denver.) So this divisional match-up actually means something this year. It won’t matter in the long run though, as the Packers will continue to roll. Well, strike that. My guess is that the wild card in the NFC is coming from this division (since it certainly is not coming from the West) so this game is important. It’s tough to choose though. Both teams are playing smash mouth defensive football, but the Lions have looked better in their wins, while the Bears have looked worse in their losses. I’m going to shake the bones here and see where they land. Ah, the bones have spoken. High scoring game, Bears to prevail at home by a late field goal. Especially if there is outdoor weather involved.

New York at San Francisco Line: -3.0
This game just got bigger than you would have thought. Did you think at the beginning of the season you’d be looking at a 7-1 San Francisco 49′ers? Did you? Did you? No, you didn’t. You thought they were just going to be another cog in the crap fuming machine of the NFC West. Now, with seven wins they have all but locked up the division. Think about it. Last year, the Seahawks won the division at 7-9. The Niners can coast the rest of the season, but they won’t. But that certainly will change the way they play. Crabtree is finally playing to his potential, the defense is lights out, especially against the run and that Alex Smith kid got the chance and the right coach to become a quality QB. So the Giants, and their newly crowned “elite” quarterback roll into town after upsetting the Patriots. This is going to be a huge game for both teams, but the Giants need the win more. But needing doesn’t get you getting and I’m taking the Niners to satisfy the home crowd and come out of this East coast vs. West coast battle a surprising, but now expected, 8-1. Niners at home.

New England at NY Jets Line: -1.0
Oh Tom Brady, what happened buddy? You lost two in a row, and one at home. Ouch. That’s gotta sting something fierce. I bet you used extra conditioner that night. That being said, every single “expert” that I read today are sticking with the Patriots, running with the stat that Brady has never lost three in a row. News flash asshats, Brady isn’t the only guy on that team. And his interceptions aside, the defense is doing two things; jack and shit. They aren’t closing down the run, they aren’t winning the turnover battle and the secondary seems confused. Back to Brady, he’s got no deep threat. While Welker does his due, he’s not a downfield receiver. That’s killing the offense. The Jets, while a bit slow developing an offensive attack have been outstanding on defense. Revis is going to be defensive player of the year the way he’s going. The Jets are fired up and hot after their strong win over Buffalo. Can the Pats rebound on the road? Can the Jets get another huge divisional win? These questions and more will be answered Sunday… SUNDAY SUNDAY. Hell, Jets to win. Out.

Minnesota at Green Bay Line: -14.0
While the other NFC North game was hard to pick, this one is easy. Like Brett Favre before him, Aaron Rodgers has the same strange disease that only afflicts him on Monday Night. It’s like this, on Monday Night, he’s unstoppable. The Packers are unstoppable this year. Even after a nail biter against the Chargers, the Packers played it cool and kept the game further out of reach than the score would indicate. Christian Ponder is getting his third start, second against the Packers. He’ll do okay. Pat the kid on the head. There is no way he’s winning this game though. Not in Green Bay. Not this year. Packers to win.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 9

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Will the Bucs be celebrating against the Saints again?


So, I picked the Denver Tebows to beat the Lions. In my heart of hearts I knew it was wrong, I was wrong and I paid the price by losing a correct pick. It was a chance I was willing to take, just in case. The truth is, as bad as Tebow was, the rest of the team was just as shitty. So he doesn’t know how to throw away the ball and has terrible mechanics, okay. He’s got a spark, but that’s not enough. I’m still on the Tebow train, but the offensive line has got to get it together to give him an extra second. The Lions said they were coming for him, and they did. Of course, it was a good week to have the Lions defense in fantasy football, as I do. Heh.

Overall I went a dismal 8-5. When the blond chicks at work who pick at random get 10 right, you know you are doing something wrong. It’s like when you take a girl bowling and she does that under the legs thing and gets strikes, and here you are shooting from the right side with a spin on the ball and you come up short. Kind of proves chaos theory eh? I’m 76-40 on the season (66%) so that’s not too bad. I really want to stay at or above that percentage, so the next few weeks are going to be crucial. Which means second guessing my gut. Not smart, but gotta do what I gotta do.

I’m going to do something a little different this week. I’m going to immediately pick a winner, then do my analysis than either change the impromptu pick or stick with it. Either way, it should be clear at the end of each paragraph which team I’m going with. I just want to see how accurate my gut (first pick) is compared to my pick after analysis and second guessing. And instead of doing them one by one, I’m going to do all my gut picks at once, down the line. And… go!

Featured Game:

Tampa Bay at New Orleans Line: -7.5
Gut Pick: Tampa Bay The Bucs have not done me well this season, and now they come off a bye and travel to New Orleans to fight for the division. The Bucs got a little help last week as the Saints rolled over for the Rams, which tells me that they were over confident coming into the game, and looking past the game to this one. While I doubt the Saints will play as badly as they played against the Rams, I expect them to over compensate a little bit with some over aggressive play calling, which is sometimes the norm for them, but doesn’t always work against the Bucs. This should be a strong game on both sides of the ball, and it’s going to come down to trick goal line plays and special teams handling. I’d like to see the Bucs go after the Saints on punts and extra points. I think that’s where the difference in this game are going to be. So that being said, I’m taking the Saints to win. Look, I know they are both good teams in the NFC but the Saints at home have a clear advantage and splitting the series this year sounds like a good compromise. Saints at home.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

NY Jets at Buffalo Line: -1.5
Gut Pick: Buffalo The Jets talk a big game, but have yet to really show themselves. Their defense, and specifically Darell Revis have bailed them out when they needed them the most. Their win against San Diego was impressive, but came too late in the game. Especially if they want to contain the Bills, who have established quite a running game with Freddy Jackson. Not to mention the play of the defense, shutting down passing routes and pressuring QB’s left and right. I’m sticking with my gut on this one though, as the Bills are playing better all around football. Bills at home.

Seattle at Dallas Line: -12.5
Gut Pick: Dallas This season has not been easy for the Cowboys. Last week they were terrible. Their defense couldn’t keep up with the well prepared Eagles offense. They made McCoy look like a fucking god as he shredded their run defense and Romo couldn’t keep his feet under him. This team is less than inconsistent, they are bad. The Seahawks meanwhile seem to be coming around a little bit, now that they have Jackson back at QB but losing like they did to the Bungles hasn’t helped their game any. The defense is a strong point, but they don’t have the offensive weapons to get it done. I’d love to pick them to upset, but Cowboys to win at home.

Atlanta at Indianapolis Line: +8.0
Gut Pick: Atlanta Without a win and looking quite pathetic, the Colts are nothing without Peyton. Plenty of teams have injuries, and still play strong. What happened to the dubious Colts defensive front? What happened to the running game? What happened to this team besides the loss of Peyton? If he doesn’t get some MVP votes, then something is wrong in the universe. They need to win eventually right? I don’t think it’s going to be against the Falcons though. Matt Ryan likes playing in a dome, no matter where it is, Detroit or wherever. The Falcons run game is going to be too much for the Colts by themselves. And the rush will have Painter running for his life almost every snap. Falcons on the road.

Miami at Kansas City Line: -5.0
Gut Pick: Kansas City For the second week in a row the Dolphins held a lead, then gave it up like a discount hooker in an airport bathroom. While I said I won’t pick them to win at all this season (playing the odds) I do think they, unlike the Colts, are actually trying to win. There has got to be a breaking point though. It’s not only the offense having no longevity (all you need is an hour) but it’s bad coaching decisions too. The Chiefs on the other hand, looked to be having a bad season, then suddenly waking up and realizing that they are in a so-so division and have a serious chance at it. This is a win they really need if they want to stay in the race. Which is why it’s ripe for an upset. I’m not picking it though. KC at home.

San Francisco at Washington Line: +4.5
Gut Pick: San Francisco Wake up! You are not in an alternate reality! The Niners are 6-1. They haven’t been this good since Steve Young left. Not only that, but they will most likely win the division with a winning record. Quick, off the top of your head, when was the last time that happened in the NFC West? I don’t know, but it’s something to celebrate. Harbaugh is finally the coach that the Niners were looking for and they’ve turned Alex Smith into a franchise QB and somehow sparked Crabtree to start playing to his potential. The offense is clicking and I don’t see them slowing down, even on a long trip to the East coast to face the Redskins. The Redskins are a dismal 3-4, but so is everyone in the NFC East save for the Giants. However, after last weeks shut-out I don’t see them bouncing back against another strong team. Niners to win on the road.

Cleveland at Houston Line: -10.5
Gut Pick: Cleveland Of course my gut says the Browns. In my mind, they never lose. And this is a way I can pick them without actually picking them. The Browns entered the season with high expectations then the Madden curse took a hold of Peyton Hillis, the backup RB hasn’t done shit and Colt McCoy isn’t looking quite like Elway as he did last year. The bright spot is the defense, which is doing it’s job keeping games close, but that’s not enough if the offense isn’t doing shit. Heden is a beast out there in the secondary, but he can’t win games by himself. The Texans are much too good for that. They whipped up on the Titans last week and should be running away with the NFC South any day now. The Browns are just something they stepped in on the way. Texans to win.

Cincinnati at Tennessee Line: -3.0
Gut Pick: Cincinnati Shhh… don’t tell anyone. The Bengals are 5-2 and have the leagues #2 ranked defense. Last week special teams added to the fantastic ride of the Bengals season with two punts returned for TD’s. Dalton has looked like a 5 year veteran, making very few rookie mistakes. Still though, the Bengals still have to beat the Ravens and Steelers who they have to play twice yet this season. That could change everything. They need to rack up as many wins as possible before that point. The Titans, sigh, after getting a huge contract Chris Johnson has been shit, and the injury of Kenny Britt hurt this team even more. However, they aren’t out of it yet, and even after the drubbing at the hands of their division rival Texans, the Titans still have a shot, putting down the Colts last week. Johnson still didn’t get his run game going, as bad as the Colts are, so the problem is him. I’m still hoping each week that he’ll wake up, as long as I’m not playing against him in fantasy football. I’m sticking with my gut here, which I think is going to be a high scoring back and forth affair, with Cincy prevailing due to defensive play. Bengals on the road.

Denver at Oakland Line: -7.0
Gut Pick: Oakland You don’t need much of a gut to predict this after seeing how Tebow performed last week. I think I said what needed to be said in the opening paragraph. He’s getting ripped in the media but that loss was because of a complete failure as a team by the Denver Broncos. This week they roll to division rival Oakland who will be giving Palmer another go. Now, I’ve always liked Palmer, as much as I hate the Bengals. I’ve always thought he was a good QB with an accurate arm and good pocket presence, and he is. But the guy stepped away from the game, and I think that hurt him when it comes to developing a cadence with a new team. It’s been two weeks though, thanks to the bye and I think with that and working non-stop with receivers and this being a home game (cutting out travel time) Palmer will be much better this week. I’d like to see Tebow put up a fight though. Oakland to win at home.

New York at New England Line: -8.5 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Gut Pick: New England Was it a mistake to pick the Patriots to beat the Steelers last week? Maybe. I don’t think so, but everyone else seemed to pick the Steelers to win. Was there something I was missing? Either way, the Patriots offense was shut down for the most part, and they looked human. Now they are back at home, where Brady has lost what – once? Some crazy stat like that. Picking against them almost feels like playing the lottery. You smirk, but know that the odds are completely astronomical. While the Patriots are my gut pick here, I really want to pick the Giants to upset. The Giants seem to either sink down, or rise up to the level of their opponent and their defense has been pressuring QB’s all season and pretty boy Brady was certainly affected by the Steelers pass rush last week. This would be a tough, and huge win for the Giants if they pull it off. Brady was 6-1 against the Steelers and that stat got busted. I’m picking the Giants to upset and bust another stat.

St. Louis at Arizona Line: -0.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK
Gut Pick: St. Louis What do I need to say here that you don’t already know? The Rams finally got their first win, inexplicably upsetting the Saints with killer defense. If they play even marginally like that, the Cardinals will have a tough time keeping up. While neither of these teams are going to win the NFC West, they may as well battle it out for the bottom rung. Kolb has been a complete bust in Arizona, the guy is not a starting QB. Of course, he suffers from lack of protection, so it might not be all him. They did well against the Ravens, pulling at 24-6 lead at halftime but blew it. Coffee is only for closers! Rams to win on the road.

Green Bay at San Diego Line: +6.0
Gut Pick: Green Bay The opening line for this game was 5.5 in favor of the Chargers. I laughed, checked again and saw that it had quickly flipped. Turnovers, bad defense, Rivers fumbling the ball away at a crucial point in the game and throwing two interceptions contributed to their loss against the Chiefs on Monday night. What a debacle. The Chargers played about the same against the Jets, they let the other team beat them on defense, so what chance do they have against the Packers? The Packers are playing all around great football, they make the right decisions and adjustments. Do I expect the Chargers to put up a bit of a fight? Sure. Do I expect them to win? Hell no. Packers to win on the road.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh Line: -3.0
Gut Pick: Pittsburgh One of the best night games is the Ravens and Steelers. This week, they are at the Steelers, where the Patriots were sent home with their tails between their legs last week. As the season goes on, the Steelers get tougher and tougher. The Ravens staged an epic comeback against the Cardinals, but that was the Cardinals. Of course most teams don’t play the same week to week, but the Steelers are one team that is only getting better as the season progresses. The thing about them is, you can sack Ben like 60 times a game and he’ll just shake it off and keep throwing. Really, so will Flacco. He’s got the moves. The fight for the AFC North starts here (but watch the rear view for the Bengals.) Steelers to win at home.

Chicago at Philadelphia Line: -7.0
Gut Pick: Chicago The only reason the Bears are winning is because of the superior play of Matt Forte. The problem is that the Bears haven’t given Forte a new contract and they are running him ragged in the meantime. This wouldn’t be a problem if they gave him what he’s worth. Because it’s already in his head, which means at any time it could affect his game. Of course, it’s a catch-22 as if his play declines, his chances for a huge contract do too. So he’ll play hard. Philly’s LeSean McCoy had a huge running day against the Cowboys, but the Bears actually have a better run defense, when they are on. When they aren’t, they aren’t. It’s no secret I can’t stand Philly this year and want them to fail, but I don’t think I can justifiably pick them to lose at home this week after seeing what they did to the Cowboys last week. Philly to win at home.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Carolina
Hey, not a bad first half of the season for Cam Newton. Can you tell this guy is a rookie? Cause I sure can’t. That being said, he can’t do it alone, which their latest loss kind of proves.

Bye Week at Detroit
Relax. Suh is meeting with the league to go over the rules, because he doens’t want to break them. The Lions D is playing dirty lately, and they need to knock that off before it ruins their perception. Not to mention getting the attention of the officials in-game.

Bye Week at Jacksonville
The Jags are about as fun to watch as a turtle getting run over by a cloud. BORING. Is Jack Del rio still the coach? Who cares?

Bye Week at Minnesota
The Vikings have to be feeling pretty good going into this bye week. Unlike the Broncos, the rest of the team has risen up to help transition Ponder to the big leagues, and he’s fared well. While we won’t see the Vikes in the playoffs, we may see them with a winning season after all.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 8

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

Can Brady do it again vs. the Steelers?

Week 8 is when the depression of losing sets in. I went a dismal 7-6 last week, and I want to cut out my eyes and dip them in acid. I wouldn’t bet on my picks if you forced me. Yet, I’m still hanging at 66% on the year (68-35) so that’s not too bad. So last week had some challenging games, a lot of upsets and some surprise wins. The biggest of course being the Denver Tebows over Miami. All the pundits are of course blaming the Denver win on Miami’s failure to play competent football, and claiming Tebow was terrible for 55 minutes and good for 5.

Honestly, the whole team was terrible for 55 minutes. Then they came together in the last 5. Tebow was steady, but damn, how can they expect the guy to pass the ball when the pocket collapses as soon as he takes a step back? If they can’t protect against Miami, how are they going to fare against the Lions this week? Of course he was sacked and rushed. He still escaped often and made the big plays when it mattered, so all you Tebow haters can suck it. The kid is the real deal and just needs some help from his team.

In other NFL news, even Browns fans turned off the game last week due to abject boredom. Here’s to a more exciting week of football. On with the picks!

Featured Game:

New England at Pittsburgh Line: +1.5
This is always a good one, for the Patriots. The Pats got a break last week and come off the bye to face their toughest opponent before facing the Bills again. The Steelers just tossed around the Cardinals after teasing them a bit. But here’s the thing, no matter how good these two teams are, on defense (Steelers) and offense (Pats) and how many Superbowls they’ve won over the past years, Tom Brady simply owns the Steelers. Brady is 6-1 against Pittsburgh, only losing back in 2004. In the six wins, Brady has 14 touchdowns and one interception. His last four games against the Steelers have included a 70.9 completion percentage, nine touchdowns, one pick, and a yards-per-attempt average of 8.79. You can’t argue with the statistics. So how can you even think about taking the Steelers after how they’ve really not dominated this year at all? You have to stick with the Pats. However, this is going to be a fun game to watch and if you have any Pittsburgh players on your fantasy team, play them. The Patriots are likely to give up a ton of points, but not more than it takes for them to win. Patriots on the road.

Tailgate City (the Rest:)

Indianapolis at Tennessee Line: -9.0
Last week the Titans rolled over and got their fudge packed in by the Texans. Hasselbeck was terrible, Chris Johnson was nonexistent and the rest of the team just kind of stood there as the Texans whipped up on them. Do I think they re-surge this week and get a huge home win to keep in the running for the division or will the Colts buck up and win a fucking game? The Colts didn’t fare much better (worse actually) against the Saints, but at least it looked like they were trying. I’d like to nominate Peyton Manning for the MVP. No one man has meant more to a team than him. The Colts, Dolphins and Rams will be drafting QB’s 1-2-3 next year, the first time that has happened since 1999. Unless one of them actually gets their shit together. It won’t be the Colts this week. They just don’t have enough to win. Titans at home. Not with the points though. I don’t think they are that good right now. Though if Chris Johnson can’t get it done against the Colts terrible rushing defense, then I’m writing him off for the rest of the season.

New Orleans at St. Louis Line: +13.0
If you thought that the Saints vs. Colts game was a mismatch, wait until the Saints travel to St. Louis this weekend and whip up on the Rams. New Orleans stopped passing after the half last week, yet still ran up the score. They couldn’t help it. Expect more of the same this week, but the Rams could put up a bit of a fight. Not on run defense of course, since they have one of the worst in the league. New receiver Brandon Lloyd might get going this game, but the Rams will need a whole lot more than one receiver to get this offense going. Saints on the road.

Miami at NY Giants Line: -10.0
Hey, Miami signed J.P. Losman. Won’t help. The Dolphins are horrid. Was it play calling that lost the game for them against the Broncos? Was it the magic of Tim Tebow? Or was it just really, really bad offense and QB play? It was all those things and more. The Dolphins are in the “suck for Luck” mode for sure, so I’m not picking them the rest of the season. I’m gunning for them to go 0-16. Not only that, but Sprano still inexplicably has a job, yet the Fins are already making phone calls. This does not bode well. The Giants, coming off a bye are looking like they could make the NFC East even tougher than it is. Expect them to rack up crazy stats against the Dolphins, or get upset. Either way, I’m not picking the Fins. Giants to win.

Minnesota at Carolina Line: -4.0
A nice quality win for the Panthers last week. Newton looked solid, going 18 for 23 for 256 yards and two TD’s – one rushing. He’s got seven of those this season. Nice on the defensive side too, as they racked up the sacks and a key interception (aren’t they all?) On the other side, Ponder looked good against the Packers last week, but c’mon, that was the Packers. He wasn’t going to win. This should be an interesting game between two decisively different rookie QB’s. I don’t think the Vikings have the contain down on the QB, give Newton time and he’s gonna go all A-Team on the secondary, especially with Steve Smith still out there catching passes. Rush him, and he’ll scramble, but I don’t see the Vikings successfully breaking through that often. Panthers to win at home.

Arizona at Baltimore Line: -13.0
Did anyone think the Cardinals would beat the Steelers? This team hasn’t played good football since Warner left. They gave Kolb that huge contract, but took his supporting players away from him. With a receiver core that isn’t as good as it used to be, and a running back that can’t get his legs under him, the Cardinals offense is simply terrible. There is hope for this team though, they are in the NFC West. The Ravens played a defensive struggle against the Jaguars, both teams played very well on that end. They did allow over 100 rushing yards to MJd though. But the Cardinals don’t have that kind of defense, the Ravens should be back to form this week, you know, scoring points on both offense and defense. Ravens to win.

Jacksonville at Houston Line: -9.5
Wait, did the Jags actually beat the Ravens? They did! They did it with astoundingly stout defense and a massive running game from Maurice Jones-Drew. Good for them, because they have looked pathetic all season. The Ravens are notorious for their run defense, yet gave up all those yards. But hell, they are seriously outmatched against the division leading Texans. Arian Foster is having a good season now that he’s back from injury. He’s going to test the Jax front line for sure. The Houston Texans have too many weapons for the Jags to stop, but then, that’s what I said about the Ravens. I think the Texans are a much more complete team though, and can stop the run a bit better and not get bogged down on offense. Texans at home.

Washington at Buffalo Line: -4.0
The Bills are comfortably coming off a bye heading into this game in Toronto. They have had a nice season so far, scoring a shit ton of points and highlighting the awesome running of undrafted back Fred Jackson. This counts as a home game for them, as like the Buffalo Sabres, they may as well reside in Toronto because they have a huge fan base there. Meanwhile, the Redskins defense, usually stingy, gave up a bunch of yards to the rush last week, so I don’t think they’ll shore that up in a week. John Beck, Rex Grossman – it doesn’t matter. The Redskins are inconsistent at best. Like it matters, I was gonna pick the Bills anyway. Bills to win at home.

Detroit at Denver Line: +3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Here’s the deal with the Lions, all the goodwill they have been building by winning, they lose when players like Suh get all dirty and shit. And I’m not talking about a lack of personal hygiene. I’m talking about blatant facemasking, yanking a QB’s head around like it’s a maypole. I’m talking about players rolling up on a QB’s ankle and other thuggery. The refs took notice, nailing the Lions for a ton of penalties, ultimately costing them the game. Was it worth it? The refs might be cracking down, but Suh should have been thrown out of the fucking game for that bullshit. His arm was wide out, full grab for the face. Thrown out and suspended for 3 games. I see it too much at the Pee-Wee level, kids playing just as violent. I’ve seen little thugs stomp on players while they are down, clothesline and more. At the 8-9 year old level. While their idiot parents cheer them on and the refs do nothing for fear of reprisal. What the fuck is wrong with this picture? Anyway, the Denver Tebows mounted a furious comeback against Miami, so no matter how terrible they played up to that point, they won the fucking game so all you Tebow haters can suck it. Denver is still terrible on both sides of the ball, and I know the Lions have more offensive power than the Broncos D can handle, but just for the hell of it, fuck it if I’m wrong but I’ll look awesome if I’m right – the Lions continue their skid and the Broncos and Tim Tebow win. Denver at home.

Cleveland at San Francisco Line: -9.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
You mean after that three point drubbing that the Browns gave the Seahawks last week in what was probably the most boring game of the season, the Browns aren’t less than a 10 point underdog? Weak. That’s just weak. Every one keeps saying that perhaps the Browns are better than they are, perhaps they are but outside of defense, the Browns haven’t showed anything recently that would give me the impression that they are nothing but a cobbled together team of young players that could do well in the future. Last week the defense was fantastic, but it was the offense that couldn’t get anything started. This week they travel to the West coast to fight the Niners, who are coming off a bye after a win over the Lions in rough fashion. The Browns, while I’d love to pick them since they are my boys, are not going to win this game because of the offensive problems. There could be an upset here, but I don’t think so. I hope so, but don’t think so. Niners to win at home.

Cincinnati at Seattle Line: +2.5
So the Seahawks got shut down on all offensive fronts by the Browns, and lost. Their defense played well I suppose, blocking a few field goals, but I think it was the lack of a Browns offense that kept the scoring low. Real low. Finally they go home after a couple weeks on the road, and they welcome another AFC North opponent to their house. Can Whitehurst and the boys rebound and beat the Bengals? Also coming off a bye, this team is the most surprising 4-2 team. Andy Dalton is coming around quite nicely as a starting QB, his mistakes are starting to disappear. The only issues remain at running back, as Benson has been sidelined for a bit. I’m looking for the Bengals to add to their win total here on the road, which should make their next game against the Steelers that much more interesting. Bengals to win.

Dallas at Philadelphia Line: -3.0
The Eagles needed a bye week to settle down. Are they settled? Well, a strong divisional game will show us if they are. What needs to be settled? Well, Vick needs to show that he’s worth that big contract and actually stick in the pocket and throw a pass, while the lack of a secondary needs to be addressed. The run defense isn’t spectacular either. Which should be interesting against rookie DeMarco Murray, who broke Emmitt Smith’s rushing record for a single game in a Cowboys uniform. The Cowboys are gearing up. They got a slow start and are going to be scary to face very shortly in the future, that is, they are going to be an offensive powerhouse – if Tony Romo can get his head out of his ass. Either way, I’m going against the grain here and going with the Cowboys to win because I really don’t like the Eagles, I said they weren’t going to be as good as people say they are and I like to be right. Cowboys. Offense. Win.

San Diego at Kansas City Line: +3.5
Finally. Finally the Chiefs looked like they do on paper. Finally the offense blew up. Finally the running game got going. Finally the passing game, the defense and Matt Cassel woke the fuck up. They trashed the Raiders, ran Boller out of the game and looked damn good. Can they do it again, at home against a Chargers team that has it’s number one weapon in Antonio Gates back on the field? Can they prove that they are not to be counted out just yet and the start of the year was just a fluke? Or was last week a fluke? This is going to be a huge game for both of these teams. I’m taking Rivers and the coaching staff to once again find a way to blow it (bad time management did it against the Jets) and I’m giving the nod to the Chiefs on this one. Any given Sunday right?

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Atlanta
Huge win for the Falcons over the Lions last week, but it was still a sloppy game for them. They really need to take the week off and decide if they want to protect Matt Ryan for just a second longer in the pocket.

Bye Week at Chicago
Hi. We’re the Bears. Sometimes we can’t protect our QB. Sometimes our running game is second to none. Sometimes our defense actually shows up. Of course, it helps if we travel to London to do all those things. Maybe we’ll be consistent going forward.

Bye Week at Green Bay
The Packers go into their bye needing to… do nothing. Maybe tighen up on defense a little bit, but hell, this team is going 16-0. Superbowl. Back to back. Put the whole team on the cover of Madden 13. It’s the only way they’ll lose.

Bye Week at N.Y. Jets
The Jets defense saved their asses against the Chargers, a week after saving their asses against the Dolphins. The offense has really got to wake up, figure out who is going to run the ball. Thankfully, Sanchez finally met that Plaxico Buress guy.

Bye Week at Oakland
Boller got the start over Palmer, throws two picks (his first two passes.) Then Palmer comes in, throws three more. Weak sauce. Don’t expect this team to get any better without a consistent QB. It’ll be Palmer, and it better be quick or he’s back to retired.

Bye Week at Tampa Bay
I cannot get this team right. I pick them to lose, they win. I pick them to win, they lose. It’s like they read this column and say “you’ve hated on us for so many years, we’re just going to prove you wrong every week.” Fine. Then I’m back to hating. I rescind my pick for the Bucs for the playoffs. Fuck off and finish last in the division. A-holes.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 7

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Can Matt Ryan lead his offense against the Lions to victory?

Another week passes by in this glorious NFL season, and another sub-par selection of winners. I went 8-5 last week, no thanks to the Bills choking. All you had to do was run the fucking ball to kill some clock, then kick the game winning field goal. But no, you are going to pass to the exact same receiver on the same pattern that your last interception came on. That was idiotic. Didn’t Fitzpatrick go to Harvard? Meanwhile, the Bucs are proving me wrong every week, which if you’ve read this column for more than a year is an annual occurrence. I don’t know what it is, I cannot pick that team correctly. Maybe it’s cause I hate them so very very much. Then, the Lions lost in a game full of mistakes on both sides. So those are three picks right there that I really wish would have gone my way. Well, if wishes were turds, I’d have to flush. So that brings me to 61-29 (68%) on the season. In the big picture, that ain’t bad. Here’s what the ESPN guys are doing:

Allen 59 31 66%
Golic 66 24 73%
Hoge 64 26 71%
Jaws 61 23 73%
Mortensen 54 36 60%
Schefter 61 29 68%
Schlereth 63 27 70%
Wichersham 62 28 69%
Accuscore 64 26 71%

Really that math should be recalculated, as some of them haven’t picked all the games. There have been 90 games, yet Jaws has only picked 84. I just want to beat Accuscore by the end of the year. The worst picks by any so-called expert have to belong to this guy. 

It should also be noted, scoring was way down last week, I think that the defensive secondaries of most teams are finally starting to wake the fuck up. A lot less blown coverages and big defensive plays are showing that the lockout hangover might have finally worn off. Now, on with the picks!

Featured Game

Atlanta at Detroit Line: -4.5
Well, I was wrong about the Lions. I said they’d be undefeated come Thanksgiving, but a lack of run defense and some serious red-zone penalties kept them behind San Francisco last week. Even though the Niners gave them plenty of chances to bounce back. The Lions could be in trouble this week (and my fantasy team) as Javid Best might be sidelined after suffering a concussion last week. They shipped in Ronnie Brown from Philly, but he’s yet to pass the physical. So there goes the running game. But Stafford, Calvin Johnson and the tight ends can carry the offense, but not without the play action. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out. Thankfully, they are at home where the noise is sure to fluster Matt Ryan, who likes to call plays at the line. Might want to start practicing those hand signals now Matt. If the Lions give up the kind of yards on the ground they gave up to the Niners, they will lose this game. I’m torn, but I’m sticking with the Lions just cause I have more fantasy players on that team.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Seattle at Cleveland Line: -3.0
The Browns. What can be said about my team? Well, Colt looked alright against the Raiders, but it wasn’t until the last five minutes. Whatever they did on their bye week didn’t seem to have worn off. Hillis was a non-factor, leaving with a hamstring injury. Madden Curse anyone? The Browns were pathetic. The Seahawks are just coming off a bye week and have to roll to the east coast again. Though last time, they managed to win the game late with some smart defense. I’ll buy that. Charlie Whitehurst looks to be getting the start over Tavaris Jackson, which could actually be a good thing for the Seahawks, looking to find that magic they lost when Hasselbeck left. I’m going to go against my gut on this one though, and take the Browns to win at home. I’ll probably be wrong (as I usually am when I follow my gut) but I gotta pick my boys every once in while right?

Houston at Tennessee Line: -3.0
The Texans could not get the running game going against the Ravens last week, and that killed them. The Titans aren’t going to make it easy for the Texans this week, as this game may as well be a playoff for the division. Both have massive losses at wide receiver, both teams haven’t been able to really establish a running game. Both teams have defenses that can be up at times, down at others. This is a very evenly matched game. Houston’s defense might be a bit stronger, but they have to find a way to control the bevy of tight ends that the Titans employ. Are they blocking or running slants? No one knows! Titans to win at home.

Denver at Miami Line: -3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
How’s this for lame. Before the game, Miami plans on honoring the 2008 Florida Gator National Championship Team – including visiting QB Tim Tebow. Talk about degrading. Not only will this fire up Tebow and the Denver Broncos with false bravado, but it will totally demoralize the Dolphins. Why in the hell are they still going through with this idiotic presentation? The original idea was to sell tickets, but now? It’s just moronic. “We can’t get out of our own way,” said Sparano. Of course, he was referring to the play of his team, rather than the poor decisions by the marketing department. It should also be noted, that after losing to Denver (as Miami will) Sparano is probably going to be out of a job. If he isn’t, I’ll be surprised. That being said, the Miami Dolphins have nothing to give any pundit a reason to pick them. Denver on the road.

Chicago at Tampa Bay Line: +1.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Apologies to both the Bears and the Bucs. The London game is always an automatic crap fest. One team is always tired and plays like shit, it always rains and the crowd is confused and the stadium is never full. These games are a bit depressing to watch sometimes. Either way, it doesn’t matter what happened last week, the Bucs will win this game because they flew over to London on Monday, giving the guys time to adjust and get a proper amount of sleep. Meanwhile, the Bears opted to practice at home this week, then fly over on Saturday. Bone-head move guys. The Bucs already learned that lesson once, and that’s torture on the body with the time change. Fatigue is going to be the enemy of the Bears, which is why the Bucs will win.

Washington at Carolina Line: -3.0
The Redskins found some mystical way to lose against the Eagles, even though their defense smacked around Vick. The problem was pretty clear, as Rex Grossman tossed four picks to the Eagles defense. He was benched, and now John Beck is going to be the starter. That’s good news, because the kid can run. Sure, he’ll make mistakes but like Tebow he’s got a weak defense his first week out. Meanwhile, Cam and the boys almost pulled one out of their asses last week against the Falcons, but three interceptions killed them. Not to mention allowing a comeback. I expect this game to go about the same, though I can see an upset brewing. Though since the Panthers are favored on the line, it wouldn’t be an upset. Anyway, like an awkward virgin on prom night, the Panthers can’t seem to seal the deal. Redskins on the road.

Kansas City at Oakland Line: -3.5
Raiders Offensive coordinator Al Saunders said about Carson Palmer starting; “As long as he’s breathing.” Sorry Boller, you are nothing but pine warmer. Palmer was acquired by Oakland from the Bungles for a draft pick or something. Either way, it’s a good deal for the Raiders, but don’t you think Palmer will be a bit rusty coming back from semi-retirement? Especially with only four days to learn the plays in Oakland? Thankfully, he’s up against the Chiefs. Now, the Chiefs aren’t terrible, but they sure have not been playing lights out defense. What’s that? They are terrible? Oh, yeah, so they are. The Raiders, coming off a win over the hapless Browns are fired up, looking at a serious run for the playoffs. Kansas City will be a minor speed bump. Raiders to win at home.

Pittsburgh at Arizona Line: +4.0
A lot of so-called experts are picking the Cardinals to somehow snap out of their mediocrity and beat the Steelers. While the Steelers defense and run game took a little while to get going, it’s going. The Cardinals defense is also not going to have an answer for the deep threat of Ben to Wallace. Not to mention that Hines Ward guy still plays football – apparently. Either way, Kolb isn’t nearly as sharp as he appeared to be as backup in Philly. The Cardinals are probably looking to enter the Andrew Luck lottery as well. A loss here will help. Steelers to win on the road in this rematch of that one Superbowl where Arizona lost.

St. Louis at Dallas Line: -10.5
I really wanted to make this one my upset special this week, but I just picked up the Dallas defense in fantasy since the Bills have a bye week and I don’t like to bet against myself. The Rams, well, they showed up against Green Bay in the second half on defense, a little bit. They held the Packers after the half, but also didn’t score. They seem to be lagging on that scoring bit a lot lately. Sigh. They just suck. 400 yards of offense and only three points to show for it. The Cowboys, a team that I picked to win their division, still haven’t stepped up to be the team that they are on paper. I think they lay down a whipping this week, but they really have to get their shit together if they hope to compete with the Redskins. Cowboys at home.

Green Bay at Minnesota Line: +9.5
Remember that time that Donovan McNabb turned out to be a bust? Oh wait, that was last week. For all concerned, the Donovan McNabb era in purple should be over. Christian Ponder, the rookie Qb with the quick feet, has been named the starter after relieving McNabb against the Bears last week. While he didn’t score, he moved the team down the field, which was more than McNabb did. The Vikings are hurting on offense, Peterson is their only weapon but even he is stifled by an offensive line that can’t get out of it’s own way and certainly can’t create any pocket protection. Thankfully Ponder knows how to run, and he’ll have to be running against one of the best defensive fronts in the league. There is no upset brewing here, the Vikings are going to get whipped, but it’ll be fun to watch Ponder escape pressure. Packers to win.

Indianapolis at New Orleans Line: -14.0
The Saints are coming off a 2-1 road trip, tired and hungry. Hey, what’s this? A five course meal being delivered right to their door? I’d like my rookie quarterback rare please. Indy, also in the Andrew Luck lottery, clearly has no faith in their young rookie Painter. Or at least the media doesn’t, as Painter has already been replaced by Andrew Luck on paper. So, their season is bonked. Still looking for their first win, they ain’t gonna find it in New Orleans. Saints to win.

Baltimore at Jacksonville Line: +8.5
Last but not least, the Jaguars. Another rookie QB is about to get squashed like a bug. If Gabbart thought the Steelers were tough, wait until he meets Ray Lewis and friends. The Jags have shown some spark lately, but they really are lacking when it comes to pass protection, passing and pass defense. So, there’s that. It should be a nice, rough game with plenty of silly penalties for the Jags. Ravens to win on the road.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Buffalo
So was that bad play calling or a terrible decision by Fitzpatrick that lost the game for the Bills against the Giants? Either way, the Bills better take a step back and deflate those heads. After the Patriots win, the Bills are looking a bit normal.

Bye Week at Cincinnati
The Bungles have been the surprise team of the season, led by young ginger Andy Dalton. They enter the bye week at 4-2 and poised to make a run at the division title. Of course, they have to find a way to beat their division foes first.

Bye Week at N.Y. Giants
The Giants defense seemed to wake up late in the game against Buffalo, a week after the offense lost the game the same way Buffalo did. The defense needs to keep it strong if the Giants can hope to hold off the rest of the division and overtake the Redskins.

Bye Week at Philadelphia
The Eagles, are for real? I still don’t think so and won’t be sold. While they won last week, Vick still made a laundry list of mistakes, but coupled them with some good play too. We’ll see if that huge contract pays off. Oh yeah, Vince Young is really that bad.

Bye Week at San Francisco
Huge win for the Niners over the Lions. I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that. But Harbaugh is doing a good job leading this team and turning Alex Smith into a real NFL QB. Now, if he can only get that offensive line to sharpen up a bit.

Bye Week at New England
What needs to be said about the Patriots? They pulled off a Tom Brady-esque comeback against the Cowboys and sustained their home win streak. Brady and Bellichick also tied Shula & Marino for most wins by a coach/QB duo. Slap on the back chaps.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 6

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Even in a bye week, all eyes are on Tim Tebow

I’d like to quote a sentence from my NFC predictions about the Eagles: “But I’m going to say this now – they won’t even win the division.” Look, I went a terrible 7-6 this week. That sucks for only thirteen games. And when all is said and done after the season is over, you’ll see that a lot of my picks for the playoffs were dead wrong. I said the Bills might compete, they are kicking ass. I said the Raiders won’t compete, they are. So it’s not a perfect system. I call it as I see it. So that brings me to 53-24 (69%) on the season. If I was a head coach I’d still have a job. So now we have week 6 and the biggest questions are still if the Bills are legit, if the Lions are legit, if Tim Tebow is legit and if the Steelers are legit. We know the Patriots are legit, the Texans will blow it and the Eagles blow ass. On with the picks!

Featured Game

Bye Week at Denver
You are probably wondering why this is my featured game when it’s not actually a game. Well, besides being unable to decide on a featured game since they are all good matchups I decided to go with the biggest story right now, and that’s Tim Tebow. Tebow time is finally here. Down 26-10 in the fourth quarter, Tim Tebow fired up his team and staged a comeback that was only lost on a missed 2 point conversion. Tebow brings an energy to the Denver squad that can’t be denied and this bye week couldn’t come at better time. Now Fox has two weeks to draw up some Tebow specific plays. I haven’t looked at Denver’s schedule yet, but I’m picking them to win next week.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Carolina at Atlanta Line: -5.5
Cam Newton almost pulled off the biggest win of his career, but his 200+ yards and three TD’s didn’t band-aid a defense that allowed way too many 3rd down conversions. They aren’t going to fare much better against the Falcons in the dome. While the Falcons didn’t do much better against Green Bay, they were up against one of the best defenses in the league and kept the game relatively close. They seemed to fall apart in the second half. Whomever is leading this game at half time should win. I’m a little torn on this one, because I really want to pick the Panthers but I think that Atlanta will prevail at home.

Indianapolis at Cincinnati Line: -6.0
Tough loss for the Colts, allowing the Chiefs to stage a huge comeback. Their run defense has a lot of holes and that’s something the Bungles seem to be doing right. Of course, it took a last second effort to pull a win out against the Jags, but I don’t think at home, against the struggling Colts should take a last minute effort. While Painter and Garcon have discovered each other, it’s not going to be enough to beat the Bungles ever growing stronger defense. While not a playoff team, they are good enough to beat the Peyton-less Colts. Bungles at home.

San Francisco at Detroit Line: -6.0
Wow. The Niners had over 400 yards of offense. Three touchdowns from Alex Smith with no interceptions against the Bucs. Not to mention the defense coming strong with three picks, one returned for a TD. They looked dominant. The rushing yards alone were around 200. But now they travel to Detroit to meet the 5-0 Lions who are looking for a record sixth win. Detroit is playing strong football right now and I don’t see them having any losses when they face Green Bay on Thanksgiving day. So until then, I’m picking Stafford and crew to keep winning. Plus, I have Calvin Johnson on my fantasy team. First WR ever to accrue nine TD’s in his first five games. That’s crazy good. Expect him to keep rolling. Lions to win at home.

St. Louis at Green Bay Line: -10.5
The Rams are coming off a bye week and this is not the team they want to face doing so. Maybe they can pump themselves up and stay in the game for a little bit, but this game is going to be a good old fashioned ass whipping. They have no answer for the Packers offense, no answer for the defense. Sam Bradford is going to be in tears by the end of the game. The one bright spot for the Rams is… none. I can’t think of one. The Packers will stay undefeated until they play the Lions on Thanksgiving, which will be the most epic Thanksgiving day game ever. Finally. Packers to win at home.

Buffalo at NY Giants Line: -2.0
The Giants. Sigh. They converted on several third downs on their last drive with good passing. Then, near the end zone Eli throws an obvious pick six. Hats off to the Seattle defense for recognizing a pattern a three year old could pick up. Eli is in love with receiver Victor Cruz, but forcing into double coverage in the red zone with plenty of time on the clock? What the hell? I guess if the Giants run game existed, that wouldn’t have been a problem. That and the disgusting inconsistency of the defense. The Giants are struggling. So why are they favored against the Bills? Cause they are playing in Snoopy stadium? Whatever. The Bills defense bailed out the offense against the Eagles last week, but did allow a comeback. Expect some of the same this week, the Giants jump out, the Bills jump ahead, the Giants come back, the Bills defense prevails. Bills to win on the road.

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh Line: -9.5
Ok, so I was wrong about the Steelers last week. Chris Berman was right, if not now – when? The Steelers looked like the Steelers for the first time this season. Big Ben tossed five TD’s, the defense was tight and kept Chris Johnson in check the whole game. Sure, the running back by committee isn’t quite clicking for the Steelers, but against the Jags, at home – who cares? Ben plays better when he’s hurt, and he’s still limping. The Jags and their young QB show some potential, but potential doesn’t win games. And they won’t win this one. Steelers at home.

Philadelphia at Washington Line: +3.0 UPSET SPECIAL!
Being 100% right about the Eagles feels pretty good. I said they are not a playoff team, and Vick was overrated. Sure, he’s setting rushing records, but who gives a fuck? They aren’t winning. That’s the important thing isn’t it? They have to win games. He’s still making bad passing decisions, running too early and getting boxed up and just not playing like a good QB. Trust me, Tim Tebow is watching Vick and saying “don’t do that.” Meanwhile, the Redskins are surprisingly leading the NFC East. Not sure I saw that coming. The Skins need to keep that running game developing with Ryan Torain and push the Eagles on defense. Expect them to come after Vick strong. I’m going against the bookies and picking the Skins to upset at home, and I’m ashamed for the idiots that have them as an underdog.

Cleveland at Oakland Line: -3.0
The Raiders stole a win against the Texans for sure last week. Maybe they were inspired by the loss of Al Davis, who knows? Either way they were penalized a lot, but thankfully special teams held out so they could win. I dunno, this team shows sparks of being a competitor, and they have the leagues leading rusher, but still, they are week to week in my eyes. The Browns coming off a bye week have little to be happy about at the moment. A rough loss to the Titans exposed holes in a defense once thought to be strong. The rushing game is having trouble even with downstill strong man Hillis. The Browns have an uphill battle this week, as weak teams have problems playing in the pit. I’m taking Oakland to win, which I hate doing to my Browns, but they need to tighten up their game. If the Browns do win however, I won’t be too surprised, just pissed I didn’t pick them.

Houston at Baltimore Line: -7.0
Offhand I couldn’t tell you why Houston lost to the Raiders. Maybe there was magic in the air after the passing of Al Davis, I have no idea. A week after routing the Steelers, the Texans offensive line looked a bit weak, not giving Schaub enough time to stage a comeback. Not to mention the defense even allowing a comeback, yet holding the Raiders to under 300 yards total offense. Foster couldn’t get going, and the loss of Johnson hurts this team every day. The Ravens are tougher than the Steelers and have no questions when it comes to the steadfastness of their defense. The Texans are going to have problems protecting Schaub and even establishing a run game. I expect them to stay in it, but I expect the Ravens to stay ahead. Ravens to win at home.

Dallas at New England Line: -6.5
Pundits are saying that if the real Tony Romo stands up for this game that the Cowboys have a chance. I say it doesn’t matter. Unless Romo morphs into Steve Young, there is no way the Cowboys are going to roll into New England and have a rats chance in hell of winning. The Patriots, while defensively weak, are killing it in the passing and scoring game. You know, the bits that really matter. Wes Welker is on pace for like 2 million catches, and Tom Brady is on pace for like 80 gadzillion yards. Whatever. The Cowboys can compete, but only against teams like the Rams or maybe the Eagles. Against the highest scoring team in the NFL? Forget it. Pats at home.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay Line: -3.5
That line is wrong right? Look, the Saints struggled a little bit against the Panthers last week, but they pulled off the win. The defense was the problem, but Cam Newton has more offense in his little finger than the Bucs have shown all season. Last week they showed none as they got pistol whipped by the Niners. The fact is that while playing at home makes the Bucs a three point favorite, the home crowd isn’t going to give the Bucs enough of a bump to keep up with Drew Brees. I’d like to see them perform a bit, and really this is must-win game for them to stay up in the division, but they won’t. Saints on the road.

Minnesota at Chicago Line: -3.0 Crapfest of the Week!
This game is the crapfest of the week because of defense. The Bears allowed a 73 yard TD pass and an 88 yard TD run to the Lions. Show some respect, the Lions are a good team, but the Bears defense has looked like shit all season. They can’t seem to get any consistency on the contain, and their run defense and tackling is just plain sloppy. You think the Vikings are any different? After getting whipped by the Chiefs, they turn around and their defense gets it done. But trust me, that was a fluke. The Cardinals aren’t exactly the team to set defensive standards against. This game is going to come down to who can score the most points. Keeping the other team from scoring isn’t going to be a huge pressure point. That being said, I’m taking the Vikings to upset the Bears just because I think they have a little more offense. Oh, and Adrian Peterson. Just give him the ball, against the Bears run defense? He’ll have a career day.

Miami at NY Jets Line: -6.0
Needless to say, if you have any Jets players – start them in fantasy this week. The Dolphins have found ways to lose in every game this year, mostly by not being competetive at all. Henne is out, which means Moore, discarded by Carolina, will be behind center. Doesn’t matter. The defense can’t get it done, the offense is terrible and they are on the road. All factors point to a big Jets win. But wait, the Jets have been terribly inconsistent on defense as of late. Could this be the game for the Dolphins? No, it won’t. Jets to win at home. Man, that’s a lot of home teams this week that I’ve got winning. We’ll see if that gamble pays off. Statistically, it should. This could be a possible upset, but I’m sticking with the Jets.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Arizona
The offensive line is terrible, keeping Beanie Wells from finding holes and forcing Kolb to throw interceptions. They need to work on that, oh, and learning how to fucking tackle too. This team is only getting worse. Hopefully this bye week provides the reset that they sorely need.

Bye Week at Kansas City
Hey, nice comeback against the shitty Colts. That’s not going to be enough. Can the Chiefs beat anyone in their division this year? Probably not. It’s going to be a tough season. The loss of Jamaal Charles really struck this team hard. Cassel seems to be getting his shit together. Relax, take a week off, come back strong.

Bye Week at San Diego
The Chargers have problems. Their record won’t suggest it, but they do. And now they have the 1-4 Broncos in their rear view mirror. Watch out Chargers, Tebow is coming for you. Give him a whole game to do what he did in a quarter and the next match-up between these two teams will go the other way. On a side note, Teressa loves cats.

Bye Week at Seattle
For a brief moment, Seattle looked like a competent team with the potential to compete in their crappy division. Then Tavaris Jackson went down, nothing changed really. It was the defense that bailed them out last week, and it’ll be the defense that keeps this team in games. For the bye, they might want to work on building a nice passing game. If that’s possible.

Bye Week at Tennessee
After a strong week against the hapless Browns, the Titans more or less rolled over for the Steelers. So what is up with this team? One second they appear unstoppable, the next they appear as if they have no secondary? They don’t have an easy schedule so they might want to think about looking at some of the holes in their defense and figuring out a way to get Chris Johnson past the line of scrimmage.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 5

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Yes! Cheerleaders! Go Texans! (image: texansbullpen.com)

Well, it’s week five which means it’s time to start the bye weeks. That doesn’t mean any less writing for me though, as I’m introducing a new concept to the column for this year, talking about the bye week teams and what they need to do to get better (if anything.) That’s at the bottom. I had another week at 12-4, which puts me at 46-18 (72%) on the year. Suck on that shit so-called experts. Why haven’t I been hired by CBSSports or ESPN.com yet? I have no idea. I’ve been doing this for years. Maybe cause it’s because I say fuck, and vagina slobber. Enough! On with the picks!

Featured Game

Oakland at Houston Line: -7.0
Looking at the schedule at the beginning of the season, did you think this would ever be one of my featured games? I ain’t messing around with this one. This is going to be a crazy good game. The Raiders may have just lost to the Patriots, but they put up a good fight. Penalties killed them in the second half, and they were playing against the best offense in the league. Campbell needs to be a bit more protective of his passes. The Raiders run defense is suspect, allowing plenty of yards on the ground, while Arian Foster ran for 155 against the Steelers. What do you think he’s going to do against the Raiders? But wait, the Raiders have the leagues highest rated rusher in Darren McFadden! While the Texans don’t have the best run defense, they have a better one. There should be a lot of running going on in this one. I’m taking the Texans to win, and Hue Jackson to predict that the Raiders will win the Stanley Cup after they win the division.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Philadelphia at Buffalo Line: +3.0
Ok, maybe I’ve been a bit too sold on the Bills. They do have one of the leagues worst run defenses after all. But still, it’s offense that wins games and last week – they didn’t have it. Thankfully, neither do the Eagles. What’s that you say? But they have Vick – he makes plays happen! Sure, every once in a while for a first down or something, but he’s not getting the scoring plays and the Eagles run game is terrible. They couldn’t get it done against the Niners at all. The Eagles have no red zone offense. If the Bills can get their offense back like it was the first three weeks, this is their game to lose. Bills at home.

Kansas City at Indianapolis Line: -1.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #1!!
The Colts netted a whole 62 yards on the ground against the Bucs. I’m sorry, but if you have a rookie QB and at least 3 top flight receivers, you’ve got to establish a run game so that when he (Painter) does throw the ball – he’s got time and he’s on target. Instead, he was all over the place. Peyton ain’t coming back. Collins was a bust. Carson Palmer is still couch surfing. Just saying. The Chiefs fared a bit better this week, actually getting a passing game going and remembering that Thomas Jones ain’t retired yet. They took advantage of some situations and pulled out a win. This one is tough for me, but I think with weapons like Piere Garcon and Reggie Wayne, you shouldn’t lose. This game is going to come down to defense, specifically run defense. Shit. I have no idea. I’m winging this one and running with the home team. Colts at home.

Arizona at Minnesota Line: -3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #2!!
You know the Vikings are playing bad when they rely on Peterson the whole game and he gets bottled up by the Kansas City defense. The Vikings sure do need a win, but their schedule doesn’t really have one penciled in for a while. McNabb used to be able to engineer a nice comeback, and I expect he’ll need one against the Cardinals. The Cards are struggling to stay afloat. Beanie Wells had a career rushing game against the Giants, but the Cards defense managed to blow the lead and waste that effort. Good job guys. Whose defense is worse? Like the above game, this one is a shit fest too. Home team wins just cause. The fact is, there are a lot of terrible teams in the NFL this season (compared to other teams in the NFL.) Perhaps this had to do with the lack of an offseason, who knows? Either way, this week kind of highlights the turds.

Seattle at NY Giants Line: -10.0
The Seahawks could not part the defensive line of the Falcons last week, so how are they going to fare against the Giants? Not so good. As the game goes on, Eli and the men around him get better. So the Hawks better jump out to a huge lead, and I mean huge, because just last week Eli showed he can mount a comeback. The Hawks offense, while showing a little spark against the Falcons, needs to focus on the run because the Giants gave up a ton on the ground to Wells last week, and will probably do it again. Pound, pound, pound. Won’t matter though in the end. Giants at home.

Tennessee at Pittsburgh Line: -6.5 UPSET SPECIAL!!
So Hasselbeck is no slouch. We knew that. He saw holes in the Cleveland defense last week and went to town. Even without Kenny Britt, Hasselbeck found his very able tight ends slipping out of coverage. The key against Pittsburgh is taking advantage of the aging defense with some tomfoolery. Play action, passes to Johnson in the flat, flea flickers, tight ends lining up as blockers and slipping out into the slant – whatever. The Titans need to go into their bag of tricks. Hasselbeck can pull it off. The Steelers are reeling. Big Ben is hurt, but not out. Mendenhall is hurt and out. The offensive line is like a quilt in a retirement home, on fire. The Steelers are in trouble, and I think this is the week the Titans step out of the Colts long shadow. Titans to win on the road, upsetting the Steelers. Yeah, I said it.

New Orleans at Carolina Line: +7.0
Why are you kicking to Hester? The Panthers have a coach whose job it is to make sure special teams doesn’t fuck up like that. They fucked up. Cam Newton made some rookie mistakes as well, go figure. Finally he gets to face the Saints, who are going to make the Carolina defense look like confetti draped around a topless drunk girls boobs. Sproles is gonna motorboat that front line like the same. Brees is going to pick them apart like picking said confetti out of said drunk girls pubes. Cam isn’t going to have an answer on offense. Expect to see him get seriously flustered. Where he looked poised against the Packers, the Saints are better at getting under their oppositions skin. Saints to win on the road.

Cincinnati at Jacksonville Line: -1.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK #3!!
The turds keep sliding out of this schedule. Like I said, a lot less parity to go around this year. These two teams play sub-par football at best. Yet, they’ve both beaten a top team. The Jags beat the Titans in week one, while the Bungles just knocked the Bills down a notch. So what happens when they meet up in Jacksonville? The Bengals defense isn’t playing half bad, holding the high scoring Buffalo offense to one TD. The Jags struggle on offense just to score that. Gabbert might turn into a franchise QB for the Jags, but he can’t rely on his defense this week. He’s got to score points. It’s rookie QB vs. rookie QB. Defense vs. Defense. Who you got? Home team. Jags to win by like one point on a late FG or something.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco Line: -2.5
Good thing Philly kickers still suck. Oh wait, was that David Akers missing a FG for the Niners? The Niners were still able to grind out another win. They are a scrappy little team, but scrapping isn’t going to be much against the defensive and growing offensive prowess of the Bucs. The Bucs are slowly gaining some serious klout. They pushed around the Colts on Monday night, slapping them around for a nice 24-17 win. It took a little bit of a comeback, but as much as I hate them, they are playing good football. The man-love affair between coach Rahim Morris & QB Josh Freeman is paying off. Bucs to win on the road.

San Diego at Denver Line: +6.0
Seriously. TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW! Denver sucks. The defense gave up 507 yards & 5 TD’s to the Packers. Not to mention the offense turning over the ball four fucking times. The whole team save for McGahee looked like a bunch of half drunk idiots. Can Tebow save this team? At least net them a win? Not this week, as the Chargers roll into town ready to lay the smack down. Rivers is charged up after shredding the hapless Dolphins, but that was helped by four nice field goals. The offense will have to start doing better than that. Thankfully against the Broncos defense, all they’ll need is a safety to win. Chargers on the road.

NY Jets at New England Line: -8.0
There was a point in the game against the Ravens where Sanchez fumbled the ball, then simply watched as it was scooped up and ran in for a touchdown. That was some lazy ass shit GQ poster boy. That kind of exemplifies how the Jets are playing right now on offense. While the defense is still stepping up and keeping them in the game (three turnovers and a TD against the Ravens,) the offense is blowing chunks. Maybe they’ll be a bit better when Mangold gets back. So needless to say, the Patriots are playing killer offense. Yeah, their defense is so-so, but who cares? Brady to Welker, touchdown x 4. Patriots win.

Green Bay at Atlanta Line: +4.5
I swear I can hear Matt Ryan sigh when he gets back into the dome. He does not play well outside. The Falcons nearly blew it against the Seahawks, but good offensive line play saved them. Plus, no turnovers. The defense allowed over 300 yards to the Seahawks low rated offense, which spells trouble with a capital cheese head against the high flying Packers. The only answer is going to be more touchdowns by the Falcons offense. It’s the only way as the defense will be struggling to keep Green Bay from scoring. The Green Bay defense has weaknesses, like giving up 384 yards to Denver. This should be a nice back and forth for a while. An offensive firestorm. I’m waffling on this one, but sticking with the Packers and taking them to win on the road. I better bench the Falcons defense this week in fantasy.

Chicago at Detroit Line: -6.0
Yeah, the Lions are for real. Deal with it. Undefeated. On a roll. Defense and offense both playing strong. You are looking at a sure fire playoff team, if not a Superbowl team. Crazy huh? Some twilight zone shit for sure. So they welcome their division foes da Bears to town. The Bears, well, their pass defense is terrible. Which is good for me since Calvin Johnson anchors my fantasy team. The dude has had two TD’s in every game thus far. He should get 4 in this match-up. Lions to win. Easy.

In the Sauna (Bye Week Teams)

Bye Week at Cleveland
The Browns, once again, are probably the best worst team. A complete breakdown on defense and offensive lines last week cost them dearly. Colt McCoy has got to spend the bye week working on his fucking accuracy and the back shoulder pass. Figure it out Colt, stop over throwing your wide open receivers.

Bye Week at Dallas
It might seem like the Cowboys blew a second half lead against the Lions, but it wasn’t them – it was the Lions stepping up and being the better team. Games aren’t lost, they are won. And the Lions won. And pretty much everyone who has played the Cowboys. Romo, vacation is over buddy. Step your game up.

Bye Week at St. Louis
What can we say about the Rams? On paper they seem to have all the tools needed to win. Josh McDaniels is clearing up any detractors as to his firing in Denver, by sucking in St. Louis. An offensive line overhaul might help Bradford actually find a receiver. Shake it up Rams, what do you have to lose?

Bye Week at Miami Line: -14.0
This is how bad Miami is this season. You can bet against them on a bye week. The Dolphins need to get their offense straightened out. Moore was almost as terrible as Henne has been lately, shoulder issues withstanding. Fans are already calling for Tony Sporano to get the axe. I don’t think that’s going to be enough to salvage this season.

Bye Week at Washington
The Redskins have been riding a bit of luck up to this point. Rex Grossman isn’t really that good, but a good run defense and a strong(er – than opponents) rushing attack have helped them pull off some close wins. Could they take the division? Maybe.

Bye Week at Baltimore
The Ravens are playing outstanding defensive football. For all the mistakes Flacco made last week, the defense made up for in touchdowns. If this team loses to the Patriots in the playoffs I’ll be surprised.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 4

Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Can McFadden run the Patriots defense into the ground?

Not bad last week. I went a very respectable 12-4 (34-14 on the season, or 71%.) That being said, I think that picking the Bills to correctly upset the Patriots was huge. More on that in a moment. This is a very volatile season so far, with a lot of exciting games. Thankfully the NFL RedZone is now in HD on my local Comcast network, so I get to watch Scott Hanson in glorious HD. Scott probably has the greatest job in all of sports broadcasting. I really wouldn’t be able to write this column without Scott and the Red Zone. Anywho, another big week with some match-ups that can change the season. Can the Lions and Bills continue winning? The bookies don’t seem to think so, as neither team is favored on the road. What the hell?

Featured Game

New England at Oakland Line: +4.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Wow. Did Tom Brady throw four interceptions, one a pick-six? Or was that some alternate dimension in which those Patriots aren’t that great? Aside from Brady looking deceptively not like a passing robot, Wes Welker killed it. Did you have him on your fantasy team? Lucky you. The Patriots defense has got to tighten up. They give up too much on the run and don’t seem to recognize running backs when lined up on the outside. Some sweet Buffalo play fakes came off a Patriots defense sleeping on the job. Belichick got out Belichicked by Chan Gailey on that final scoring play. That was some smart coaching. Enough about the Pats. Oakland is coming off a huge win over the Jets, dominating on the ground and making the supposedly strong Jets run defense look like amputated children. What do you think they are going to do – at home – against the Pats? Run them ragged that’s what. And I don’t think one week is long enough for the Pats to fix their problems on defense. So once again, my featured game is also my upset special as I’m taking the Raiders to give the Pats their second loss of the season, and push them to get better on defense. I did pick the Pats as a playoff team, so don’t get used to me picking them to lose. This just isn’t going to be their week. Oakland at home.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

Carolina at Chicago Line: -5.0
Ouch. The Bears, who looked moderate on defense against the Packers get to welcome the Panthers to town this week. The Bears are not looking like the playoff team that we saw last year, and Cutler is tired of being sacked so damn much. Normally one would tell him to quit whining, but his pocket just collapses on him completely and he’s got no where to run. Until they fix this issue, they won’t compete in their division. Thankfully, the Panthers aren’t in their division. Coming off a muddy win against the hapless Jags, Cam Newton put up human looking stats, but that might have been due to the weather. I’m looking for Carolina to go pass wacky on the Bears, but the Bears defense to shut them down effectively. Bears to win at home.

Buffalo at Cincinnati Line: -3.0
Genius play calling by Chan Gailey (as previously mentioned) cemented the Bills upset of the Pats last week. Not to mention a comeback from being down 21-0 at one point. The Bills are showing they are a second half team, and hard to beat when they are scoring constantly. Their defense also stepped up, picking Brady four fucking times! So why in the fuck nuts are they not favored going into Cincinnati? The Bungles lost a shitty game to the Niners, and now are facing probably one of the best scoring teams in the AFC. The Bungles don’t stand a fucking chance in this game. They don’t have the defense and the Bills front line is going to chase Andy Dalton down like the soulless ginger that he is. Bills to win on the road.

Tennessee at Cleveland Line: -2.0
I’ll say this about the Browns, they are scrappy. They pulled off a close win against Miami, but let’s be honest – the Dolphins defense is a joke. Meanwhile, the Browns defense – especially the front line – is getting better and better. The offense was mediocre at best, with Hillis out and Colt McCoy overthrowing the ball like crazy to wide open receivers. As for the Titans, they lost Kenny Britt to a knee injury – but won. Chris Johnson needs to start earning that huge paycheck now and start pushing his way into open field. I don’t think he’ll be able to do that against the Browns though, as they’ve been good on shutting down the run, for the most part. This is going to be a close game, but I’m looking for the Browns to prevail. Browns to win at home.

Detroit at Dallas Line: -3.0
Like Buffalo, the Lions are getting no love from the bookies. They came back in the second half, took advantage of poor defensive play by the Vikings to go 3-0. Now, they travel to take on their Thanksgiving counterparts, the Cowboys. The Lions are showing serious strength on offense, but especially on defense. Romo will give way to Kitna early in this game for sure. The Cowboys played a stinker against the Redskins, winning off six fucking field goals. Romo couldn’t get his team into the end zone, and against a team playing as strong and fast as Detroit, that ain’t gonna cut it. Lions to win on the road.

Minnesota at Kansas City Line: +3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
The Vikings, the sad pathetic Vikings. They had the Lions right where they wanted them. Once again they blew a big halftime lead and ended up losing the game. That’s three games in a row. What is going on with this team that they can’t hold and keep a league? Oh I know what it is, a crappy secondary that gets exposed late in the game once a good QB can see that they aren’t getting creative at all. Not to mention a serious overuse of big blitzes. Chicago has that problem too. Meanwhile, Kansas City has been terrible. Didn’t they make the playoffs last year? You wouldn’t know it by looking at this team. 18 yards passing for Cassel in the 1st half last week. That’s just sad. However, I think this week the Chiefs get their shit together and win a fucking home game. Chiefs to win.

Washington at St. Louis Line: -1.5
One week the offense looks fantastic, the next week the defense looks fantastic keeping Dallas out the end zone, while the offense totally blows it and keeps themselves out. Really, the Redskins are hard to figure out. I mean, they have the potential to be a certain challenger in the NFC East, but can’t seem to get their collective shit together to win. Could it be coaching? Yes, yes it could be. So they go meet the Rams. The Rams showed up last week. I mean, if you consider that committing drive killing penalties, dropping passes and getting pistol whipped by the Ravens. Do the Rams have a defensive secondary? It didn’t appear so. Didn’t seem to have an offensive line either as Bradford was constantly under pressure. Of course, that was the Ravens. Either way, the Rams just cemented themselves solidly in the “suck” column. So Skins to win on the road.

San Francisco at Philadelphia Line: -0.0
Ok, so Vick’s non throwing hand isn’t broken, but I was right about this Eagles team. They are not the “dream team” and calling them so (and them believing it) is going to kill them. The defense was missing tackles left and right, the secondary couldn’t figure out who Victor Cruz was after his 1st TD, and Vick turned over the ball at the most crucial moment. At least LeSean McCoy had a good game. Which tells me this; because Vick is very mobile, the offensive line is concentrating on opening up lanes for the run and pass, rather than focusing on protecting Vick. This is why he’s scrambling more often than he should, quicker than he should and is leading to mistakes. It’s a dangerous assumption and is probably why they aren’t heavily favored in this match-up. The Niners can win this game, if it was at home. Their defense is playing fine, holding down the running game and making picks, but if Vick has his game face on and actually passes the damn ball (get it to Jackson) the Eagles should win. So I’m taking the Eagles at home.

New Orleans at Jacksonville Line: +6.0
So my boy @mbletsch traded away Drew Brees in his fantasy league. Along with Nelson (Bills), Benson (Bengals) and Hightower he got in return Vick, DeSean Jackson, Mendenhall & Hillis. Ok, I can see the validity of that for most of those guys, but Nelson will have a great year and HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU TRADE AWAY BREES? Good trade or not? Leave it in the comments. (Update: I was informed this trade was vetoed by the league, as they thought MB was trade raping the other guy. I don’t see it. Brees is worth all that and more.)

That being said, Brees is going to have a banner day against the non-existent secondary of the Jags. The only reason they held up against the Panthers is because of the weather. The Saints defense is going to tear Blaine Gabbart to shreds like a topless hooker during Mardi Gras. That kid will be in tears by the end of the night. Now, this could be one of those weird upsets, but this shit isn’t college football. The Jags are outclassed, and it will show. If you have a Saints player on your fantasy team, any player, make sure he’s starting this week. Saints to win on the road.

Pittsburgh at Houston Line: -3.0
Being a Steelers fan sometimes has got to be stressful. One second Ben is fumbling the ball (twice last week) the next he’s leading a game winning drive down the field. That’s some up and down shit right there. The Steelers had to come back to beat the Colts, who are still without a decision at QB. That helped the Steelers, who still struggled with the run. They won’t have much better luck against Houston, who nearly beat the Saints. They fell apart in the fourth quarter though, an interesting trend that may help the Steelers. The passing game for both teams is aces, it’s going to come down to defensive line play, and turnovers (don’t they all.) I’m really stalling on this one because as much as I want to pick the Steelers, I think Houston takes this one at home.

New York at Arizona Line: -3.0
Kolb must have been excited as he led a possible game winning drive against the Seahawks, then tossed an interception. This is par for the course for the Cardinals, who have a lame passing attack at best and have yet to establish a running game. Which means no play action, which means Kolb is linebacker bait. Blitz the Cardinals and watch them scramble. Which is something I’m sure the Giants can do after watching them pressure the shit out of Vick. The Giants are playing strong up front and not letting any offense take advantage of them. While the Arizona offense might show some early spark, the Giants D should put it right out. Giants to win on the road.

Atlanta at Seattle Line: +3.5
I blinked, and the Seahawks actually won a game. With defense. Of course, it was against the Cardinals. It’s sad, but the Seahawks could win the division with a losing record again. Any of the shitty teams in the NFC West could really. They actually rushed too, for over 100 yards. Crazy. Who knew? The Falcons are going to come into Seattle hot. They lost to their rivals in Tampa and are pissed. The offense was stifled, the defense played well though, but without the offensive backup is probably pissed. The Falcons are in Hulk mode for sure, and the east to west coast plane ride isn’t going to change that. Falcons to win on the road.

Denver at Green Bay Line: -13.0
The Packers are running well, defense is in the lights out category but I don’t think this team is yet back up to Superbowl champ standards. Whatever. Denver is in town and that means that Rodgers gets to have a little target practice. The Broncos have shown one major thing this season, that they suck. They came close last week, but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear “TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW” chants in Green Bay this weekend. Orton will be too busy running from Clay Matthews and company to hear it though. This one is too easy, but since everyone thinks that, I’m taking the Broncos. Just kidding. Green Bay to win at home.

Miami at San Diego Line: -9.0
And my pick for first coach to get fired this season is Tony Sporano. While Henne is looking good when he can, the Dolphins play calling on both sides of the ball has been stifling bad. They ran into a good defense last week and still couldn’t put the game away when they had the chance. And they had chances. They’ll have more chances against the Chargers, who seem to wilt a bit in the second half. Rivers has a chance to get this team jump started, if he can keep the ball out of the hands of the defense. I suspect that he will, as long as the defense holds up their end of the bargain. The Dolphins will make a game of it though, as they really, really need a win. Chargers to win at home.

NY Jets at Baltimore Line: -3.5
The Ravens put on a mother fucking CLINIC last week. Torrey (who dat) Smith caught three touchdowns in a classic ass whipping of the Rams. The Ravens are nearly unstoppable this year, but it’s only three games into the season. Can the Jets defense stop them? What Jets defense you say? Good point. The supposed tough defense of the Jets was no-where to be found against Oakland last week letting McFadden roll for 171 yards. What do you think Ray Rice is going to do? Tear the Jets a new asshole that’s what. The Jets are outmatched in this game, and it sucks to say that cause I actually like this team. I mean, save for Sanchez and his GQ loving ass. Ravens to win.

Indianapolis at Tampa Bay Line: -10.0
Peyton has got to be considering going all RoboCob just to make a comeback. Painter did ok last week, but against the Bucs defense? A defense that held Matt Ryan to one TD and an INT? The lousy Colts special teams aside, they are going to have trouble against the Bucs defense and the young offense under the charge of Freeman. The Bucs vanquished their rivals last week, what do you think they are going to do to a Colts team that is yet to find their ground? This game is going to be crazy, especially since the Bucs actually managed to sell enough tickets to lift the blackout. The Colts can look at this game like this, it’s just one step closer to being able to draft Andrew Luck #1. Bucs to win at home.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Featured, Sports | No Comments »

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 3

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Can Fitz lead the Bills past the Patriots?

Bam. Last week I went a smooth 14-2, my only misses being the losses by the Ravens and the Niners. This would have been a huge win, but then I realized that a bunch of people in the office pick ‘em pool went 14-2 and they were just guessing. Dammit. Either way, that brings me to 22-10 on the season, so at least I’m well over 50%. I need another huge week to get to that 68% goal and stay there for the rest of the season. Experts, suck it. Week three bitches!

Featured Game

New England at Buffalo Line: +9.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
At the beginning of the season, before the Bills were 2-0, I said that the Patriots might lose one or two games this year, and one of them is going to come at the hands of the Bills. Well, here we are in week 3 and the Patriots are meeting a hot 2-0 Bills team in Buffalo. If this game were in Foxboro, I’d pick the Pats, no doubt. However, it’s not. The Patriots simply own the Bills over the last couple years, but this year the Bills seem a bit – better. But their two wins did come against the Raiders and the falling Chiefs, so how good are the Bills really? The Patriots have a good defense, but their secondary is suspect. Tom Brady is on pace for like 2 billion yards (thanks to bad secondary play of the Dolphins.) Can Fitzpatrick take advantage of a shoddy secondary to push ahead of the Patriots? Can the Patriots pressure Fitz so he makes mistakes? Because he hasn’t made many thus far. These question and more will be answered on Sunday! (Sunday Sunday Sunday.) Anyway, I’m taking the Bills to upset. That’s what my gut says.

Tailgate City (The Rest)

San Francisco at Cincinnati Line: -1.0
The Niners certainly found a way to lose last week. Bad coaching and clock management sent them into overtime only to lose. Had they taken the defensive penalty and the first down – rather than the field goal, the Cowboys wouldn’t have had enough time to catch up. Instead, they are now 1-1. Weak. The Niners are a better team than how they were coached last week, so hopefully that shows when they roll into Cincinnati, also 1-1 after losing at Denver. The Bungles are establishing a nice running game, and Dalton is no slouch at this point. Really, the two QB’s (Dalton and Smith) are pretty evenly matched. I’d say this game will come down to special teams play, of which the Bungles are severely lacking. The Niners to win on the road and Ginn to run at least one return back for a TD.

Miami at Cleveland Line: -2.5
Hey, the Browns are favored! Two weeks in a row. Picking them last week against the Colts was easy, picking them this week against the terrible Dolphins is even easier. The Dolphins have so many holes in their offensive attack, I don’t know where to start. Is it with their complete lack of a rushing attack or even proper blocking? Is it with Henne and his inability to pick up defensive changes and blitzes? Whatever Ricky Williams was giving those guys in-between games is gone, and they are just flat sucking. After losing to the Bungles, the Browns quickly rebounded though and McCoy is finding some sweet brown rhythm with his receivers. I’d look for Hillis to have a huge day running against the Dolphins this weekend. Browns to win.

Denver at Tennessee Line: -4.5
What’s up with the Titans? One week they get beat by hapless Jacksonville, the next week they upset the Ravens? Did you see that one coming? Hasslebeck found a definite groove with Kenny Britt down the sidelines, that’s for sure. So now they welcome Denver to town, who finally allowed Tim Tebow to come into the game – at slot receiver. Really, it’s almost time for him to come in at QB. But it’s going to take a couple more losses for the TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW chants to hold any weight with the coaching staff. This week though, should add to that loss column as the Titans may just be better than we thought in week one. Titans to win at home.

Detroit at Minnesota Line: +4.0
Of one prediction I am glad is coming true, it’s the Lions. They are just killing it. They really haven’t had a solid challenge though, with only the Bucs and Chiefs in their rear view. I’m waiting for when they play Green Bay – in Green Bay. Then we’ll see if they are for real. For now, they’ll have to settle for the Vikings. I’m surprised they are only four point favorites, because their offense has been outstanding lately. Stafford is showing great poise and leadership, and it helps that the defense is doing their part as well. Honestly, this is a playoff team right now. Keep it up Detroit. My fantasy team is stacked with Detroit players. Detroit to win. With the points.

Houston at New Orleans Line: -5.5
The Texans are killing it right now and with the Colts out of the way already, there is no reason they shouldn’t take the division. Unless they find a way to lose the big games – and this is one of those big games. Arian Foster being out hasn’t affected the Texans offense too much, besides slowed down the run game, but when you have receivers like Andre Johnson, who needs a run game? Flat out, the Texans have to be 100% on defense in order to beat the Saints. Give one inch to the downhill running of Sproles or the play calling of Sean Peyton and they may as well give up the game. I’m taking the Saints to win this game at home though, as much as I want to give it to the Texans, the Saints offense is going to be a bit too much for the Texans secondary.

New York at Philadelphia Line: -0.0
Both NFC East games have zero lines. That’s how close, and how crappy this division is. Everyone else might say it’s cause this division is that good, and there will be one playoff team to come out of it, but they won’t make it past the first round. The Giants, after getting lucky on Monday night against the Rams, Eli really played like crap, visit Philly to take on Vick. You already know what I think of Vick. I think he’s a fraud. Mistakes will cost him against the Giants defense, who have proven that they are a heads-up defense. Pressuring Vick won’t be enough, they have to force turnovers in the secondary. That is, if Vick even plays after suffering a concussion. That being said, I’m taking the Giants in this game because, well, I don’t know. Just am. Deal.

Jacksonville at Carolina Line: -3.5
Cam Newton is on pace for like 6,000 yards this season, Brady on pace for about 7,000. So how is it that Newton has passed for over 400 yards in both games this season, yet is 0-2? How is it that he’s passed for that many yards? Here’s why all QB’s are finding their receivers wide open more often – there was no offseason. A lot of teams have new players in DB and Safety positions and there was no offseason for them to train on coverage and gel. They are doing that now. Newton isn’t a god, he’s just throwing into crappy coverage. Plus, the Carolina running game is shit. Stewart isn’t getting through the line because the run blocking stinks. So Cam is getting more passing plays, and more deep passing plays. Of course, he’s also got a few interceptions as well. He’s human. He makes mistakes. He’s good though, can read defenses and leads his team. Now if he can only lead them to a win. This could be his week as the Jags come to town. I think this is where Cam ekes out his first win. Cats to win.

NY Jets at Oakland Line: +3.5
Oakland looks like they could actually be for real this year. I mean, compared to previous years in which they sucked balls. They played Buffalo to the end last week, never giving up but I don’t think their defense is where it should be just yet. And they are going to need defense against the Jets, who also come strong with defense. I don’t really see the Jets losing this game. While Sanchez isn’t quite an elite QB just yet, he’s got a good thing going with his tight ends and running backs. He knows how to throw the slant and toss, it’s the deep ball he needs to work on. Over the shoulder Mark, over the shoulder. However, shouldn’t be an issue against the Raiders. Jets to win.

Baltimore at St. Louis Line: -3.5
An injured QB, Stephen Jackson sidelined, the Rams are not starting the season off as they would like. Hey, how about next year you draft some fucking offensive linemen who can block for more than a split second? And Carnell Williams, you silly mother fucker. Dead ball or not, how about you don’t stand there like a statue and you get that fucking ball? Needless to say, the Ravens are going to come into St. Louis with a serious axe to grind. They lost last week, to the Titans, and probably aren’t taking that very lightly. Doubtful they’ll repeat that weak ass performance. The Ravens front D-line will be too much for the Rams O-line. Run Bradford! Run! Ravens to win on the road. And the Rams are favored! Put some money on this one.

Kansas City at San Diego Line: -15.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!
Here’s why this is my crapfest game of the week. As good as Rivers is, is as bad as the Chiefs are right now. Have they even scored a touchdown this season? Fans in KC probably wish they could chant for Tebow at this point. And now, with Johnson out for the season, the Chiefs are hurting. The Chargers offense is going to be too much for the Chiefs defense and the Chiefs offense is nonexistent. You’ll see a double digit deficit by the end of the first quarter in this one. Bolts to win at home. And hell, with the points.

Green Bay at Chicago Line: +4.0
There is something suspect about the Packers, I just can’t figure out what it is. While they haven’t exactly shored up a consistent running game, Aaron Rodgers seems to handle the play action pretty damn well and the Packers continue to rack up the score. The Bears are in for a fight, but they are a scrappy team. The key will be pushing Forte through the line and avoiding the sack power of the high pressure Green Bay linebacker core. Green Bay special teams have also been on point so far this year, so expect them to chase Hester down – who has a penchant for fumbling on receptions this year (not on returns.) Anyway, I’m sticking with the Packers for now, so taking them to win this great NFC match-up.

Arizona at Seattle Line: +3.0
Kolb isn’t doing too bad in Arizona, going for 251 yards in the air last week, 300 the week before. I’d say Seattle would be the true test, but that’s bullshit. Seattle is still trying to find their ground after pistol whipped by the Niners then the Steelers. However, Rice could be back in the game on Sunday, which may help Tavaris Jackson get rid of the ball on the out routes. Also, Carroll probably spent the week yelling at safeties who let Wallace and the other Steelers receivers run hog wild open all over the field last week. Who are we kidding? The Seahawks will be lucky if they win three games this year. This one ain’t it. Cardinals on the road.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay Line: -1.0
The Bucs have been showing that they have some fourth quarter spunk, making a run at the Lions then coming back to beat the Vikings. That won’t work against the Falcons, they have to come strong out of the gate to get on top of Matt Ryan and crew. I don’t think they’ll be able to though. If there is one secondary that is clicking this year, it’s the Falcons secondary. The Bucs defense showed some serious spark against the Vikings, but that was the Vikings. The Falcons though, have got to be able to open up the field against the Bucs and run their defense ragged. I think with the appropriate amount of pressure on young Freeman, the Falcons will prevail. Falcons to win.

Pittsburgh at Indianapolis Line: +11.0
There is a rumor swirling on the internetwebs that the Colts are making phone calls to a one Brett Favre. Are you fucking kidding me? The Colts are following up one bad QB decision with another one. Listen, here’s what you do – give the ball to Painter. Or, if you really want to spend the fucking money, pay off the Bungles and get Carson Palmer. It’ll cost the same as wooing old man Brett out of retirement. Don’t do it. Don’t be that team. That being said, they’ll lose to the Steelers. Do I even need to say why? I don’t think so. If Ben is on your fantasy team, start him. Steelers to win.

Washington at Dallas Line: -0.0
And then we come to the Monday night game. I’ve already handed out my crapfest of the week, but this isn’t it. Wow. Tell you what Dallas, I’ll trade you. This candy bar for Tony Romo, cause if you throw either of them in the pool – they look like shit. The Cowboys won last week because the Niners fucked up – NOT because the Cowboys played well. That being said, the Redskins have actually been playing well, so I’m giving this contest to them. Redskins to win, on the road, in Dallas, sinking Romo.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Everything & Anything, Featured, Sports | No Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »
The shoe cables a repent reward near the visible.