Here’s what I’m seeing so far in preseason football. I’m seeing a lot of sloppy tackling, players appear to be afraid to inadvertently hurt someone or get hurt themselves. I’m seeing announcers call games and the bobble heads acting like this is the regular season, where it’s still just preseason. The mistakes made now are quite different than the ones made during game situations. Right now, QB’s will take a sack from a guy brushing past them, rather than get smashed. Preseason football is a different game than regular season football.

Meanwhile, out in the NFC West, magic is happening. Just kidding. This is still my least favorite division, consistently producing mediocre division winners and making the rest of the league look freaking fantastic by comparison. The bobble heads are saying that the Rams might be a beacon of hope this season or some shit, but I highly doubt it. All four of these losers are gonna suck again, but hell, I gotta do this anyway. If you are a fan of any of these teams, speak up, cause it’s gonna be a long fucking season.

NFC West

San Francisco 49′ers
Did Alex Smith have a banner year last year or what? What’s that? The Niners finished 29th in passing offense? How’s that possible with Smith having such a great year? Oh how the world of the NFL confuses me! Listen, Smith tossed a mere 17 TD passes and only 5 interceptions. It’s easy to have a good year if you never throw the fucking ball. Well, now he’s got Mario Manningham and Randy Moss (Randy Moss?) to throw to along with Crabtree and Davis. Not to mention adding Brandon Jacobs to the backfield, who can handle the pitch and run.

I love Jim Harbaugh coaching this team. Like a serious man crush on the guy. After a few negative coaching experiences, I think winning the division this year will be a good deal for a long team contract, especially if they hit that NFC title game again. I thought we were going to see them in the playoffs. The key to getting that far, and a spot that I think the Niners will be just fine on this year as well, was run defense. Teams just couldn’t run against the Niners, which made the field easier to cover. That should continue this year.

The Niners are probably carrying the best defensive squad in the league as far as stopping scoring. I dunno how they’ll fare on takeaways, but who cares if you are securely in the lead because the other team hasn’t scored? I guess that’s the question mark. We know Crabtree is a little bitch, and now Randy Moss brings his crazy to the party. Will they mesh? Probably. Moss knows he’s lucky to still have a place on a roster, so he’ll quietly not complain about getting passes. Yeah right.

Projected Finish: 11-5

Arizona Cardinals
What the fuck ever! Certain sports websites have the Cardinals finishing the season at 10-6. Are you fucking kidding me? Do they know that the quarterback choices are the amazing Kevin Kolb and the lights out John Skelton. Oh wait, those are adjectives reserved for QB’s who aren’t surrounded by suck. I mean, you can’t play the Seahawks and Rams more than four times a season. Sure. I love Fitzgerald, Beanie Wells is hot and Michael Floyd is a good pick-up in the draft… this paragraph is too long.

Patrick Peterson and Adrian Wilson are great defensive players. The addition of William Gay there is going to help this secondary become second to none against some of the premier wide receivers in the league. And I’ll give Wisenhunt some credit, the guy tends to work well with what he’s got in front of him. He’s just got to get more production from his offense and specifically – the offensive line. Have you noticed a trend in the NFL lately? Especially with team with shaky offenses? Bad offensive line play. How do teams fix that?

Teams fix that with coaching and not putting rookies on the ends. Rookies have no freaking idea what it is like to block a professional linebacker. The key for the Cardinals is going to be the defense though, that’s where they are going to win games and that is where they are going to lose games. This team is probably the best in the NFC West, but because I see the Niners offense being much more productive, I don’t have them winning the division.

Projected Finish: 9-7

Seattle Seahawks
When there is a QB battle in camp, and your choices are Matt Flynn or Tavaris Jackson, that just screams “mediocre season.” Listen, the Seahawks haven’t been impressive to me since they lost to the Steelers in a Superbowl they had no business being in. Since then, they have run a few surprises, but they really haven’t been an impressive West Coast offense kind of team. Pete Carroll doesn’t really scream “winner” in the NFL. Sorry buddy, but USC was stacked and the Pac 10 blows ass. Try that shit in the SEC.

So, the highlight on this team is the defensive secondary. Brandon Browner and Richard Sherman are two of the best when it comes to man coverage and help boslter a young defense. Sidney Rice has some new screws in his shoulder, and should give the defense some confidence when he scores touchdown after touchdown. Of course, he’ll have to literally run up and take the ball from either Jackson or Flynn. You see, Flynn did well his one start in Green Bay because of the offensive line. No such luck in Seattle.

So what about Lynch? I think he’s slowing down. He’s close to that 30 year old limit for running backs, he’s got no explosive game changing left in him. I could be wrong, but I think we’ll see rookie Robert Turbin getting some early in the season carries. It’s time to start grooming the next guy, brainwashing him to stay in the NFC West.

Projected Finish: 7-9

St. Louis Rams
I’m not going to sit here and spout lies at you. I had high hopes for the Rams last…. hahahaha. Just kidding. I knew they were going to suck. This year, the big change is Jeff Fisher coming out of retirement to lead the rams to what? Victory? Maybe a few times. The defensive minded coach also brought in Brian Shottenheimer to help on offense and Dave McGinnis as defensive coordinator. All these fun changes, what remains the same? Well, pretty much everything else.

Bradford is sadly still developing as a QB. If he played for the Browns, he’d have been replaced sixteen times already. Lucky him, he plays for the Rams. Here’s the deal though, with Stephen Jackson in the backfield, and healthy it appears, the Rams under Fisher might have a better chance at playing some ground and pound smash mouth football, but Bradford has got to move around in the pocket better. He’s still not going to have much of an offensive line and needs to adjust, which means move his feet instead of taking sacks.

The best offseason move is Cortland Finnegan coming in at CB. The Rams secondary is nothing to scoff at, as that is one area of the team where the suck is a little bit less, but I really like this move. Finnegan brings that backfield swagger that this team sorely needs. The Rams defense, even with Finnegan, is going to be a sore point for this team though. Their rush defense is terrible. I’m just hoping the Rams won’t be as ugly to watch as they were last year.

Projected Finish: 5-11