Posts About ‘Favre’

The Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 11

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Giants vs. Eagles. You know you don't want to miss this one. (Image: NFL)

So last week happened, my worst week of picks EVER. 5-9 (79-65 on the season.) And they weren’t just close losses, they were terrible picks based on insane logic. Refusing to pick the Bucs knowing they’d beat the Panthers? Whatever. I’m being irrational I suppose.

So didja get a chance to check out my Power Rankings? For those of you that struggle with the word count in this weekly column, that might be more your speed. I understand the readin’ ain’t for all y’all, jus’ some of y’all. That being said, Week 11 is normally a “prove it or lose it” week, but have you noticed the parity in the NFL this year? There are no zero loss teams, there are no undefeated teams and the field is wide open. Mathematically, the Panthers are still in it. Yeah, it’s that kind of season.

Which makes sense that my picks are consistently getting worse. That adage of “every other Sunday” is really true this season. It’s slamming me every Sunday. Hopefully my picks are entertaining enough, even if they aren’t perfect. But where are the comments? Are you people too lazy to comment? I’ll try to cut down the word count a little bit, for you slow readers. Sheesh. Let’s do this! Week 11 picks!

Featured Game:

New York at Philadelphia Line: -3.5
The 6-3 Giants visit the 6-3 Eagles. The Giants are coming off a humiliating loss to the Cowboys at home, while the Eagles are coming off a superior drubbing of the Redskins. This is the fight for the NFC East, and it starts and ends on Sunday night. Who are we kidding? This game is nothing but Vick vs. the Giants defense. The same Giants defense that allowed the Cowboys to run all over them. Can they hold it together against Vick or do they not stand a chance? This should be a fun one to watch, especially since it’s in Philly. As much as I’d like to go with Eli and the boys, I’m taking Vick and the Eagles speedy receivers to take this one. Eagles at home.

Tailgate City (The Rest):

Chicago at Miami Line: -1.0
The Bears aren’t messing around. The Packers should be watching their backs. The Lions and Vikings are out of this divisional race (though not mathematically of course.) The Bears are a tough team on offense, especially when Cutler is having a good day. Will he have a good day in sunny south Florida against Tyler Thigpen and the Dolphins defensive secondary? I’m guessing Thigpen will start over Henne and the injured Pennington. Either way, I’m taking the Bears on the road.

Buffalo at Cincinnati Line: -6.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Buffalo got their first win last week against the Lions – even though they almost gave it up near the end. Buffalo is one of the worst teams in the league, but it’s not for lack of trying. The Bengals are one of the worst teams in the league, for lack of trying. They have three of the best offensive weapons on one single team, and can’t do jack shit with them. They are hopeless. Is it bad coaching? Is it lack of team cohesiveness? Perhaps. Either way, I’m taking the Bills to truly sink the Bungles this week. That’s right, we’re back to the Bungles.

Detroit at Dallas Line: -7.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Who cares? I mean, who really cares? One of my biggest complaints concerning NFL scheduling is the Thanksgiving day games taking place in Dallas and Detroit, and it’s years like this that prove my point. The Cowboys and Lions are both sitting at 2-7 with no hope of improving. The Thanksgiving game should rotate every year, instead of being held in these two stadiums. Well, before those games we get this stinker. I hope Joe Buck is calling this game so I have even less of a reason to watch it. I have to pick a team? Hell, since I swore not to pick the Cowboys anymore – Lions on the road. Why not?

Washington at Tennessee Line: -7.0
The Redskins are what we call ‘hapless.’ While not a terrible team on paper, they still suffer from mismanagement and poor play calling, even with Shanahan at the helm. They just signed McNabb to another long term contract, even though he’s really on his way out. What the hell are they thinking? They got pistol whipped by the Eagles, and I’m looking for their weak defensive front to give up the goods to Chris Johnson and the ground attack of the Titans. The Titans should get back on track this week, they have to otherwise they are just handing the division over to the Colts. Titans to win at home.

Arizona at Kansas City Line: -8.0
Ah, now there are the Cardinals that we’re all used to. They are the kid that just keeps trying and trying, but comes up short again and again. This time, they came up short to the Seahawks, getting worked through the air. It’s like they weren’t even trying to defend against the pass. Andersen is back behind center again, but that won’t make much of a difference against the much better Chiefs. The Chiefs, while losing to the surging Broncos, still threw for over 400 yards. That kind of air attack will destroy the Cardinals weak secondary. I’m taking the Chiefs to win big in this one.

Green Bay at Minnesota Line: +3.0
When will the Vikings management team figure out that having Brett Favre starting is not only a distraction, but is actually losing them games? At the start of the season, he looked like he could be having another banner year. At this point, they need to bench him. Not to mention it appears that he’s forgotten he’s got one of the best running backs ever in the backfield in Adrian Petersen. Childress should be joining Wade Phillips in the unemployment line at this point. Meanwhile, the Packers are my solid pick for the Superbowl, and there is no reason they should falter this week. Packers over the Vikings by a healthy spread.

Houston at NY Jets Line: -7.0
The Jets are one loss away from sinking. Yes, they are 7-2 and have pulled off some amazing wins, but it only takes one emotional loss for a team like this to just self implode. Meanwhile, the Texans have already suffered a couple of those losses, the last second loss to the Jaguars last week was just the nail in the proverbial coffin. The only reason I’m taking the Jets to win this week is because of defense. Their offense is middle of the road and has a lot of problems establishing a strong running game. However, their defense wins games, and this shouldn’t be an exception to that. I’m taking the Jets at home.

Oakland at Pittsburgh Line: -7.5
The Oakland Raiders are one of those teams that are trying to re-establish a winning franchise. They are coming off the last bye week after beating the Chiefs into the ground the week before. They are playing extremely well on offense, only because Jason Campbell learned he can actually scramble when the pocket breaks down, something he didn’t know he could do in Washington. But will he be able to run away from the Steelers defense? Sure, they have some injuries, and suffered a loss to the Patriots, but that shouldn’t matter against the still inferior Raiders. This game should be closer than one would think, but I’m taking the Steelers at home.

Baltimore at Carolina Line: +10.5
While the Bills are bad, the Niners are bad, the Cowboys and Lions are bad – the Panthers are simply the worst. How this team can take the field every week and feel like a team is a mystery to me. They got worked by the only-so-good Bucs last week, and there isn’t a game they’ve played this year – even their one win – where they looked like they were in it to the end. They have no chance against the Ravens. Not a chance. The Ravens, at 6-2 lost to the Falcons (who are unarguably the best in the NFC) in the final seconds. Taking the Ravens to win on the road, easy.

Cleveland at Jacksonville Line: -1.5
The Browns are still the best three win team. They are close, so close. They beat the Saints in the Superdome, they beat the Patriots and nearly beat the Jets. Only a late fumble near field goal territory put the Browns out of it. They had their chances though. Colt McCoy is looking like the future of the team, and a hell of an accurate passer. The Jags got lucky last week on a hail mary, that’s not going to be enough against the Browns who are out for blood. This is the start of a long road trip for the Browns, and it’ll be good to start off with a win. Browns on the road.

Atlanta at St. Louis Line: +3.0
Like I’ve mentioned several times, the Falcons are the best in the NFC and possibly the NFL. Matt Ryan is a future hall of famer, and has no problem picking apart secondaries like they are hot chicks at a bar. They have the best running game in the league, and one of the most accurate and speedy passing attacks. The Rams looked like they were in the race, and technically still are. At 4-5 they aren’t out of it yet, since their division absolutely sucks balls. However, I don’t think this is going to be their week. Even though they are only a three point underdog, I’d expect them to come out swinging but come up short. Falcons on the road.

Seattle at New Orleans Line: -12.0
The Seahawks are not out of it yet. They punked the Cardinals last week, Hasselbeck making a clear statement that yes, he is still here and can still pass the damn ball. But that’s about all they have, a strong passing attack. Their defense is questionable, and their running game is suspect. So the Saints shouldn’t have any problem handing them right? Well, one would think so but the Saints have still not returned to the form that helped them win a Superbowl last year. Eh, it’s tough to repeat, even repeat with just a winning season. Who knew that their division was going to be this tough? I’m taking the Saints to win though, just cause the Superdome can be a tough place to play in. However, I think the Seahawks will keep it close.

Tampa Bay at San Francisco Line: -3.0
Well, as much as I hate the Bucs, they did win last week in a game that I should have been humble enough to pick. I didn’t, and I’m not going to pick them this week. The Niners aren’t that great though, but can come through when they need to – and they need to. Just to keep their heads about them. Alex Smith is out, Troy Smith is playing for all the marbles right now, which means a chance to show other teams (ahem, Vikings – take a look) what he can do. He has to do it this week, which is why I’m taking the Niners at home.

Indianapolis at New England Line: -3.0
This is the game that can break the Colts back and set the stage for the Titans to make a run at the Division. Can the Colts beat the Patriots this year? The Pats are looking good, which some key injuries have slowed down the Colts just enough to allow the Pats that slight edge. Playing outside, in the great northeast, I dunno. This looks like it could be an easy Pats win. Especially considering the way they handled the Steelers last week. I’m taking the Pats at home, just cause Tom Brady’s hair told me to.

Denver at San Diego Line: -9.5
Both these teams on paper are a lot better than they are in the win / loss column. Too bad paper doesn’t make a lick of shit when it comes to the NFL. This always makes for a good Monday night game, and shouldn’t disappoint. It is a Monday night game right? Anyway, without saying too much about who is the better team here, because I really don’t know, I’m taking the Chargers to win at home just cause San Diego has really nice weather this time of year. I like weather.

I’m mailing it in for the close. I’m tired. It’s late on a Wednesday night and I don’t remember eating dinner. Comments people, let’s get the conversation going. There were more comments about shoes the other day than I’ve seen about the NFL all year. Weak.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Sports | 2 Comments »

The Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 10

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

The Dawg pound is pumped up for their 3-5 team

There were a couple games last week that were so freaking close, but ended up in the loss column for me. The Colts, the Chiefs and the Bills all lost by a couple points. At the same time, there were some clear winners like the Giants and the Packers, and some clear losers like the Dolphins, Cowboys & Panthers. But forget all that, there was only one game that was the pinnacle of Week 9. That game, was the Browns beating the Patriots, and that game – I picked the Browns to upset again.

Not only did my Browns beat the snot out of the Patriots, but they did it with relative ease. At no point in that game were the Patriots in control, at no point in that game did it even look like they would mount a comeback. That was the Week 9 highlight, a week in which I went a respectable 8-5 (74-56 on the season.) A week in which no football player sexted a cheerleader. A week in which Randy Moss wasn’t in the news. A week in which the Browns beat the top team in the AFC. Or did I already mention that?

The losers are looking like winners right now, at least, some of them. The Lions lost, but came real close to knocking off the Jets. The Raiders surprised the Chiefs, and of course – the Browns won. Though it’s clear who the real losers are right now. Dallas, Buffalo & Carolina. They are done. Toast. Wade Phillips (Cowboys) is gone. Will Gruden replace him? Maybe Cowher? Who knows. Know what I know? It’s Week 10 in the NFL, and here’s some picks.

Featured Game:

NY Jets at Cleveland Line: +3.0
No analysis needed. I’m taking the Browns to continue winning against teams that are supposed to be the best in the NFL. The Saints, the Patriots and now the Jets will fall to the Browns. Every week brings a new bag of tricks that their opponents don’t seem to be prepared for. Tricks aside, this team is playing great on defense, Peyton Hillis is running like an out of control train – 184 yards against the Patriots – and Mangini seems to know what he’s doing. I know they are a five loss team at this point, but they remind me a lot of the Saints last year. Doing whatever it takes to win, and completely surprising their opponent. Colt McCoy has shades of Peyton Manning, changing plays at the line, and Steve Young, scrambling for a TD. Meanwhile, the Jets are on a downward spiral. Not sure what has happened to this team in recent weeks. They barely pulled off a win against the Lions, and looked like shit doing it. I don’t think that their run defense will be able to handle Peyton Hillis, and I don’t think that Sanchez and the O-line will be able to slow down the Browns defense. Browns to win at home.

Tailgate City (The Rest:)

Baltimore at Atlanta Line: -1.0
Maybe I underestimated the Ravens last week. They handled the Dolphins with clean efficiency, cutting off most of the running game and the passing game. They picked off Henne three times in the game, which helped keep the score gap big enough to cut off any hope of a comeback. This week though, they play the Falcons in Atlanta. This is going to be a tough match-up as the highlight of both teams is the run defense. I’m looking for the Falcons to make a mark in this game as solidifying themselves as a tough NFC team – tough enough to take down one of the toughest AFC teams. Falcons at home.

Detroit at Buffalo Line: -3.0
The Lions once again came damn close to pulling off an upset against the faltering Jets, taking them to overtime. The Jets needed all four quarters to catch up and take the Lions to overtime. Unfortunately for the Lions, the Jets won and Detroit dropped to 2-6. One could say they are the best 2-6 team but that’s not good enough to salvage a season. This week, they get the 0-8 Bills, who they can surely sympathize with after having a season without a single win. Are the Bills on the same track? They are favored this week against the Lions, and could be playing in the snow. Last week I thought the Bills could pull off an upset against the Bears, they didn’t. They found a way to lose with a late interception. Expect more of the same this week. I’m taking the Lions.

Minnesota at Chicago Line: +1.5
With 27 seconds left, the Vikings scored to bring the game against the Cardinals into overtime, where they got the win. Favre through for a record 446 yards, but they still had to rally from 14 points down to force overtime. Maybe his two interceptions had something to do with that. The Bears, who should be a threat, are no threat. Even if Favre is completely off his game and throwing like shit, expect Adrian Peterson to run all over the Bears. The only plus for the Bears is the cold weather and how it affects Favre’s joints. I still am taking the Vikings though. Makes more sense considering how sloppy the Bears are playing.

Cincinnati at Indianapolis Line: -7.0
The Bengals put up a good fight against the Steelers last week, but couldn’t pull off the upset. They were playing from behind the whole game and were shut down late by the Steelers defense. The Bengals are still having a problem establishing a run game, and all those passes when playing from behind are starting to play against them. The Colts secondary is fast, but they are having inconsistencies at receiver. They looked outmatched and confused against Vick and the Eagles. I think they’ll bounce back this week with a strong win against the Bengals at home, mostly because of the 12th man – the crowd. Have I mentioned how awesome the Indy home crowd is? Yes? Ok. Indy to win at home.

Tennessee at Miami Line: +1.0
The Titans have one of the best defenses in the league, one of the best offenses as well, yet are not favored in this match-up in Miami. Are you kidding me? Did the bookies not watch the Dolphins roll over and get prison raped by the Ravens defense? How in the hell can Miami expect to pull off an upset win against the Titans defense if they couldn’t get past the Ravens defense? Henne has some great targets in Marshall and Hartline, but that won’t be enough to stop the Titans. I’d expect a little back and forth in the first half, but once the Miami D-line gets a little tired in the legs, that’s when Chris Johnson will run all over and through them. Taking the Titans on the road.

Carolina at Tampa Bay Line: -7.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
I won’t pick the Bucs. You all know that. The Panthers suck, but since I won’t pick the Bucs this has to be the upset special of the week. Who knows? Perhaps this is the week that the Panthers finally get their second win. Either way, not picking the Bucs. They lost to the Falcons, that made me happy. Perhaps they will lose to the Panthers this week, which will also make me happy. Panthers on the road.

Houston at Jacksonville Line: -1.0
Noooooo!! Houston lost to San Diego! For a moment it looked like they could win that game. What happened? Oh, they have the NFL’s worst past defense. That’s what happened. While the Jaguars don’t have the best passing game in the league, they have one that is good enough to take advantage of the horrible secondary of the Texans. This sucks for the Texans, because their season was looking good until that loss to the Colts a couple weeks ago. The only positive here is the Jaguars loose run defense. It’s middle of the pack at best, but the Texans Foster knows how to find the holes. I agree with this line, it’s going to be a close game, but I’m taking the Jags at home.

Kansas City at Denver Line: +1.0
Man, the Chiefs were on quite a roll there for a while weren’t they? Who knew that they’d be derailed by the Raiders last week? This week they travel up to Mile High to face division rivals Denver, who last played in London against the Niners in a game that I went null on. They won, but not convincingly by my standards and I still don’t feel confident picking the Broncos to do anything but win, or lose or whatever. Can I predict a tie? I’m just going to take the Broncos at home, but I’ll probably end up being wrong about them again, but I think my other picks are solid enough to hold me up this week. Denver at home.

Dallas at NY Giants Line: -14.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
If you think that the Cowboys got blown out against the Packers last week in their 45-7 loss which was the final straw in Wade Phillips’ back – wait until this week. While the Packers were womanizing the Cowboys, the Giants were smacking around the Seahawks like the sissy kid on the playground getting popped in the head by dodge balls. If the Cowboys want to salvage their season, it’s too late. If they want to salvage their pride, hell, it’s too late for that too. They are toast, and the Giants are going to kill them. This is the crapfest of the week because it’s just going to be painful and watch the Cowboys just get destroyed. If it’s not clear, Giants to win at home.

Seattle at Arizona Line: -3.0
Hasselbeck has been cleared to play against the Cardinals this weekend. Who cares? The Seahawks were on the verge of becoming a great team, then blowouts to the Raiders and the Giants have seriously set them back. Meanwhile, the Cards played a close game against the Vikings, but couldn’t hold the lead. This game could really go either way. It’s one of those middle of the division match-ups that decides which of these teams takes that tumble to the bottom. It think it’s going to be the Hawks. Taking the Cards to win at home, even if they can’t seem to decide which QB to start.

St. Louis at San Francisco Line: -6.0
Sam Bradford is looking like a bona-fide quarterback. Both these teams are coming off a bye-week, only one of these teams has a serious shot at the division. Alex Smith is not looking like a bona-fide QB, and has been replaced by Troy Smith for the moment. The Troy Smith to Ted Ginn connection wasn’t enough against Denver in London, and won’t be enough against the Rams this week. I’m taking the Rams to win in San Fran, if only because they are the underdog and have a serious chance at the division this year.

New England at Pittsburgh Line: -5.0
The Steelers defense won the game against the Bengals, had they faltered they would have easily lost to the Bengals comeback. Playing at home this week against the now confused Patriots, the Steelers defense is even stronger. While the Patriots were outplayed, outcoached and just plain beat by the Browns, they are a bounce back team. Sadly, the Steelers aren’t the team that allows bounce backs. Their defense will hold up, and they aren’t the ones questioning themselves as the best in the AFC, they are the best in the AFC. Steelers to win at home.

Philadelphia at Washington Line: +3.0
The NFC East games make for the best Monday night match-ups. This week, we get the Eagles, who beat the Colts, with Vick getting his legs going for 74 yards, a rushing TD, 218 passing yards and a passing TD. The guy is still the real deal. So can the Redskins defense contain him? It’s possible, the Colts just weren’t prepared for him, and he really was the game changing factor in that game. This game could go either way, but I’m going with the Eagles just because Vick is such a game changer.

Well, that’s it for this week kids. Enjoy the games, I know I will – especially that Browns vs. Jets match-up. I can tell you this much, Week 10 in the NFL means that the college football season is almost over, which means that the NFL season is that much closer to the end. However, do not worry – I will still be here after the season ends. I’m thinking about writing a women’s field hockey column.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Sports | 1 Comment »

The Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game: Week 7

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Romo. How far you have fallen.

All I can say after watching most of last weeks action on the NFL RedZone channel is “ouch.” I think I got a concussion from all the helmet to helmet hits. James Harrison of the Steelers delivered two of them to Browns players, knocking Cribbs out of the game. There were several others around the league, shown over and over on Sportscenter and creating quite a negative buzz. Why all of the sudden is there more spearing? Some are incidental, most are intentional. Is it the Sportscenter mentality that is causing these players to go for the big hits? Knocking someone out of the game gets you on Sportscenter for sure. Perhaps they have just gotten careless, or forgotten how to actually tackle someone. Either way, it has to stop. It’s a thug mentally, and spearing helmet to helmet is a dirty move.

In other news, I’d like to say I did awesome last week with my picks, but the honest truth is that they kind of sucked. I went 8-6 (52-38 on the year) and my upset pick was dead wrong. Not terribly wrong thinking the Lions could beat the Giants in New York, but wrong nonetheless. At least they beat the spread.

In non-football related news, go NOT YANKEES. I swear, the Rangers better beat the Yankees. I really, really hate the Yankees. I’m thinking the Rangers blew Game 5 so they could win at home. They’ve never been to the World Series, so why not get there with a win at home.

Back to football. Week 7 picks! Whoo-hoo! So settle down in the back of the “script” club, order yourself a $12 martini and a lap dance from a questionable looking stripper and let’s get it on.

Featured Game:

New York at Dallas Line: -3.5
This is it for the Cowboys. After losing to the Vikings last week with a massive special teams failure, allowing a 95 yard kickoff return for a TD, the 1-4 are technically not out of contention in what is a weak division this year. The NFC East is usually the strongest division every year, but not so much with the Giants self destructing on defense every other week, and the Cowboys just plain sucking. This is the Giants chance to put the Cowboys away. However, only a late fumble by the Lions enabled the Giants to secure the win, in an overall mediocre performance by Eli. So what makes me think they can beat the Cowboys this week? Easy, the Cowboys are already self destructing. Wade’s job is in question, Romo is shaken every game as his pocket collapses and their special teams aren’t showing up. This game is my featured game because as much as I hate the Bucs, being a Bills fan from the 1990′s I hate the Cowboys just as much. They need to go away. So I’m looking for Eli and the Giants to shove them straight down the well. Giants to win.

Tailgate City (The Rest):

Cincinnati at Atlanta Line: -3.5
The Falcons did a whole lot of nothing against the Eagles last week. They couldn’t stay consistent and were stifled by the Eagles defense, starting a losing streak instead of the winning streak they were on. It’s amazing to think that the Falcons may actually win the NFC South. Actually, it’s exhausting because no team in the NFC South has shown they are any good at this point. This week, they get to play the inconsistent Bengals at home. The Bengals, coming off a bye week could easily become an offensive juggernaut, but it just appears as if Ochocinco and T.O. are just NFL eye candy. I’m taking the Falcons to win at home.

Washington at Chicago Line: -3.0
Both these teams laid over like dead hookers in the middle of the desert… I mean, dead fish, last week. Chicago looked like the Bears of the last couple years and not the team that was dominating the first couple weeks. The Redskins, well, they went up against Manning and the Colts but came up short in the 3 point loss. McNabb looked mediocre with the two key interceptions, and the Colts defense was too much for the Skins in the end. This could be a really good game, or a really shitty one. For that reason, I’m going with the Bears to get back on track and win.

Philadelphia at Tennessee Line: -3.0
Kolb showed why he should be the starter at Philadelphia with a dominating starting performance against the Falcons. He went for 326 yards and three TD’s. Who’s Kevin Kolb? He’s the starter in Philadelphia. If Andy Reid has his head on straight, he won’t think twice about keeping Kolb in there. Especially this week, against the Titans defense. Actually, it doesn’t really matter who starts for the Eagles, the Titans defense is lights out and the offense is killing it right now. Even with backup Kerry Collins in the game (vs. backup Trent Edwards last week) all he had to do was hand off to Johnson who put up another 100+ yard game. I’m taking the Titans to win this game, but the Eagles to put up more of a fight than the Jags did last week.

Jacksonville at Kansas City Line: -0.0
David Garrard got knocked out with a concussion in the first half of the game last week, Trent Edwards was forced back into action to replace him and do pretty much nothing. That’s about what the Jags have been doing this year – besides their surprise win against the Colts. Meanwhile, the Chiefs were in a back and forth battle with the Texans, playing a game of who had the worst defense. The Chiefs won that battle, as, they allowed Houston to rack up 35 points to their 31 in the highest scoring game of the week. I’m confused at the zero line though, as the Chiefs should be favored by a few points at least. Either way, taking them to win cause I don’t like Trent Edwards.

Pittsburgh at Miami Line: +3.0
How about them Dolphins? Coming through in overtime to beat the Packers last week. A week after their special teams coach was fired for terrible special teams play against the Patriots, the Fins special teams stepped it up a notch and kept the Packers in check enough to kick a 44 yard field goal in overtime. But that’s not going to be enough against the Steelers. The Steelers are once again the best in the AFC so there isn’t much more I need to say here. Steelers with the points.

Cleveland at New Orleans Line: -14.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Yeah, that’s right. Upset special. What do you think of that? Drew Brees and the Saints beat the crap out of the hapless (yes, they are hapless) Bucs last week. So was that the Saints breaking free of whatever was holding them back and finally showing they are an offensive powerhouse? Or was that the Bucs just sucking? I’m going with the latter. That being said, the Browns got their asses whupped by the Steelers, but they looked good doing it. Ok, they didn’t, but they didn’t look terrible either. Young Colt McCoy threw more interceptions than touchdowns, but that still has to do more with the Steelers D than the Browns O. Hopefully Cribbs returns from his concussion this week, but that’s unknown. He does, I’m going with the Browns in a major upset. If he doesn’t, then the Saints. When it comes down to tallying scores though, I’m taking the Browns.

St. Louis at Tampa Bay Line: -3.0
Rams beat the Chargers. Are the Rams a good team? Bradford got clocked in the head several times, more of that helmet to helmet shit. Thankfully he got right back up. This was a rough game, and the Rams rushed well with Stephen Jackson back at full health. It was a surprise win, and their third in a row at home. I’m taking them this week on the road against the Bucs, who got clocked last week and frankly, I don’t care how they did. Picking against them all season. Statistically, I’ll win out. Rams to win.

San Francisco at Carolina Line: +3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
The 1-5 Niners are now squarely in the suck category. You’ll notice as the season wears on, I’ll be saying less and less about the losing teams. Yeah, they won last week against the Raiders in a 17-9 crapfest. Gore put nearly 150 rushing yards on the Raiders, but the Panthers have a slightly better rush defense. That’s about it though. The Panthers aren’t exactly winners either. Well, they aren’t winners at all. They are 0-5. Steve Smith might return this week, but it’s not going to be enough. The Panthers are this years Lions. Taking the Niners to win on the road. This is the battle of losers.

Buffalo at Baltimore Line: -14.0
Sorry Charles, Buffalo sucks. Ravens don’t. Ravens to win. In fact, the point spread is generous, I’m taking the Ravens to win by 17 at least. In fact, I’m going to go one further and predict a total shut out. I’m going to go even further than that and predict an exact score of 34-0. I also predict Fitzpatrick will cry himself to sleep Sunday night.

Arizona at Seattle Line: -6.0
Finally the Seahawks woke the hell up and convincingly won a game. Matt Hasselbeck went for 242 yards, the defense sacked Cutler six times and only a late punt return for TD by Hester kept the game close. Otherwise, it would have been a two score victory. Either way, this team needed a victory and they got it. I wouldn’t call their division tough, but with the Rams playing moderately well, the Niners not statistically out of it and the Cardinals hanging around, the Hawks need to pull ahead to get into that top spot. Both these teams are 3-2, both will be fighting for the division the rest of the year. This week however, I’m taking the Seahawks to win at home, but this contest will be closer than that six point spread.

Oakland at Denver Line: -8.0
Hey! I was right about Denver finally! I picked them to lose last week and they did! Awesome! Word on the street is that they have the best QB in the league right now. Really? I must have read that in Week 1 or something. Last week Orton went for around 200 yards, but the Jets were able to ground out a win against the Broncos. This week, they welcome the Raiders. The Raiders are a terrible organization from the top down. Rack up another loss for them this week. Let’s see if I can go two weeks in a row with my Broncos pick. Broncos to win, with the points.

New England at San Diego Line: -3.0
The Chargers just aren’t the same team since LT left. Now that Gates is out with an ankle injury, Rivers will have to find a new favorite target. Either way, the defense is shaky at best, especially against the run. While the Patriots can run the ball, they can damn well throw it too. They went back and forth into a long overtime to beat the Ravens last week, showing they have a defense that can keep up with the Ravens. A defense that will be too much for the Chargers. Taking the Patriots on the road.

Minnesota at Green Bay Line: -3.0
Once again Brett Favre returns to Green Bay. This time, no one really gives a shit. I don’t give a shit. Favre and his penis are going to lose to the Packers. They are pissed after that loss to Miami at home. Rodgers should be on point, and even though the Vikings are coming off a monster win against the Cowboys, they are still a team on the decline. Taking the Pack to win. No matter what though, Favre on Monday night is classic and seems to energize the old feller. Still taking the Pack though.

In closing, the best way to engineer a space/time anomaly within the constraints of physical and modern scientifically theory is to just simply pretend that the monkey with the apron is not real. If that doesn’t explain what this NFL season has been like, then I don’t know what does. It’s Week 7 but it feels like Week 34. Hard hits, tons of parity, some teams that suck that shouldn’t, and Favre’s fucking penis. That’s the last time I mention that. Until the next time. PBR time starts Sunday at 1pm.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Sports | 1 Comment »

NFL Preview: NFC Predictions

Monday, September 6th, 2010
Dance Party!

Will Favre & the Vikings be dancing their way into the playoffs?

Last week we took a look at the AFC in preparation for the upcoming season, this week I took a couple minutes out of my day contemplating which college football games to watch to make some equally wild NFC predictions. Yes, I am aware the win/loss math might not add up, but you get the picture. Frankly, I could have fixed it but I was having problems opening Excel, nah, that’s a lie. Just lazy is all. Anyway, here are my NFC predictions for 2010. Enjoy.

NFC North

Chicago Bears Last Season: 7-9 I will hereby refer to the Bears at the Bucs of the North. Because they too, will suck. Really, this is all it took for me to see that this team does not have it’s shit straight. Coach Lovie Smith says Devin Hester won’t return kickoffs. Are you kidding? The one highlight on this formerly great franchise isn’t being allowed to do what he does best. Hester makes a mediocre receiver at best, but a game changing and dynamic kick returner. Now, Smith could be just trying to not show his hand on this, but we’ll find out week one I suppose. With Hester returning kicks, the Bears could be unpredictably good. Without? Boring and unispired. Predicted Finish: 8-8

Green Bay Packers Last Season: 11-5 Aaron Rodgers came out from under the shadown of Favre and it was good. Even though they bit it in the playoffs last year, the Packers had a lot going for them on offense and the defense just keeps getting better. Rodgers will be the caliber quarterback that he looks like, even with the beard. The Packers will go deep into the playoffs this year and I’m actually predicting them to go all the way to the Superbowl. Predicted Finish: 14-2

Minnesota Vikings Last Season: 12-4 Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. And they’ll lose twice to the Packers. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Detroit Lions Last Season: 2-14 Two words. Ndamukong Suh. The Lions have had the worst defense in the league for three straight years. Perhaps Suh can change that. Stafford is looking like a real live NFL quarterback. However, this is still the Detroit Lions and they have a perrineal habit of losing. Ah, what the hell, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say Suh gives them an extra win just from bostlering the defense just a little bit. Predicted Finish: 3-13

NFC East

New York Giants Last Season: 8-8 Tom Coughlin needs to go. Since his Superbowl win, he’s slowly been losing control of the team. It’s this odd thing, but the Giants constantly seem stressed out. Eli Manning doesn’t have the composure that his older brother has, it seems like he’s always frustrated at his offensive line or at the slumping defensive line. The success of this team rests on how well they do in the division, as it does for all of the East. With McNabb still around, the Cowboys offense and well, the Eagles existing, this could be a rough year for the Giants. Predicted Finish: 7-9

Dallas Cowboys Last Season: 11-5 This is a tought team to call. Wade Phillips is a good coordinator, but he tends to fall apart in the playoffs. I know he’s the head coach, but still. Whiner Patrick Crayton is gone, thankfully, which means that Miles Austin will be the star receiver in Dallas. The Romo to Austin connection will be frequent, but not as frequent as that Romo to Whitten connection. The real question with the Cowboys is once they get to the playoffs, can they keep their shit together? I think this is going to be an exciting team to watch this year, but fans could be setting themselves up for another letdown. Especially in this division, which tends to be tough on itself. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Philadephia Eagles Last Season: 11-5 Hey, it’s Kevin Kolb! The Eagles were the Cowboys bitch last year, losing a record three times to Dallas. How in the hell this team made the playoffs I have no idea. Oh yeah, with the running of McNabb and Westbrook. While McNabb will be scrambling on almost every play in Washington, Westbrook is no longer part of the Eagles franchise. Could Andy Reid not see past the lunch buffet to realize that this team needs the strong ground attack skills of both McNabb and Westbrook? Kolb is a drop back passer, that puts a lot more pressure on the offensive line that caused McNabb to run for his life so many times. Hey, at least they have Michael Vick. Predicted Finish: 8-8

Washington Redskins Last Season: 4-12 I’d like to start with a quote from my 2004 pre-season preview, “As long as Snyder is in the house, the Skins’ will not see the playoffs except for on television.” I still hold this statement to be true, no matter how good this team might look on paper, no matter how many upsets they can pull off against Dallas, with Snyder running the show they will be a terrible franchise. Constant coach turnover, constant coordinator turnover, I’m surprised McNabb signed there. Donovan McNabb will have to play his former team twice this year, and he’ll be lucky if they can carry him away from those games in one piece. Another player fighting retirement, McNabb is in for a rude awakening. Welcome to the land of no pocket protection Donovan. Predicted Finish: 3-13

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Last Season: 3-13 There isn’t much to say about the Suckaneers, as they are affectionatly referred to in my home area of Tampa Bay. Since their Superbowl run this team has steadily declined, losing Monte Kiffen in the middle of the season was the last crack in their already fragile spine. Two young quarterbacks, an even younger coach and highly questionable running backs and wide receivers. I’m sure Kellen Winslow is loving his decision now. That was sarcasm. The Bucs suck and will suck. The only reason I’m giving them four wins is because they play the Browns. Predicted Finish: 4-12

Carolina Panthers Last Season: 8-8 Any Cats fans out there? No? Finally ditching Delhomme for Matt Moore seemed to be a good call last year for the Panthers. Picking up Clausen in the draft was also a good call because after all, this is the NFC south. Collar bones will be broken. The strong point with this team has always been their ground attack, expect more of the same this year. I’m talking to you defensive coordinators out there. The NFC South plays the AFC North this year in cross conference play, so this should be interesting because all three AFC North teams have strong run defenses (save for the Browns, who suck.) I don’t see the Panthers overcoming the defenses they’ll be up against to do better than last year. Predicted Finish: 8-8

New Orleans Saints Last Season: 13-3 I would love to say that Drew Brees and the high flying Saints offense will be back on top this year, headed straight back to the Superbowl. I think they playoffs are in their future, but knowing what we know – that’s a stretch. So what is it that we know? Well, Drew Brees graced the cover of Madden 11. We all know about the Madden curse? Right? Yeah, I know that’s some serious voodoo, but Brees is doomed. Aside from all that, the offense hasn’t changed much since last year, so the playoffs should be a lock as long as Brees can fight the curse. Predicted Finish: 12-4

Atlanta Falcons Last Season: 9-7 The Falcons are no longer a team to be ignored. Finishing the season by beating the Jets, the addition of Michael Turner last year seemed to help the ground game. Matt Ryan is on his way to becoming a great quarterback. However, this is a tough division to be in this year, as the other teams are heavy on the defensive end of things and Atlanta’s defense, not looking too fantastic. However, the only offensive minded team they have to worry about is the Saints, and we already know why they are doomed. Predicted Finish: 12-4

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks Last Season: 5-11 Am I the only one that thinks Matt Hasselbeck is just looking tired? Tired of playing for a team that lost to the Steelers in the Superbowl and hasn’t seemed to recover? Tired of playing in the rain, tired of throwing interceptions and just plain tired. How is this guy still playing? Is he on Zoloft or something? And now stuck with Pete Carroll hopping off the USC train to go back and take another shot at the NFL? And dealing with the loss of T.J. Houshmanzada? Ouch. Too many questions with this team, I predict doom. Predicted Finish: 6-10

San Francisco 49′ers Last Season: 8-8 Mike Singletary didn’t do half bad last year. A lot of times ex-players as coaches tend to bomb. However, Singletary didn’t take crap from anyone and pushed his team to perform. Frank Gore is damn fun to watch and Alex Smith looked like a bonafide NFL Quarterback. Sadly, there was one player Singletary rolled over for, Michael Crabtree. Without Crabtree, before giving into his ridiculous salary demands, the Niners were 8-5. After signing Crabtree, 5-7. Bad mojo abounds. Thankfully, being in the single worst division in football kind of helps. Predicted Finish: 9-7

Arizona Cardinals Last Season: 10-6 Matt Leinart will finally be getting the start over the now retired Kurt Warner. Wait, the Cardinals dumped Leinart? Really? Ok, so Derek Andersen will get the start after being shedded like dead skin from the Browns roster. Gone from the Cardinals are Antrel Rolle, Karlos Dansby and Anquan Boldin. Ken Whisenhunt is still there though, and he’s managed to turn this franchise around from the laughing stock they used to be. It all comes down to quarterback protection and clock management, something the Cardinals struggled with in the playoffs last year. If not for being in the worst division currently in football, playoffs wouldn’t be in their future. Predicted Finish: 11-5

St. Louis Rams Last Season: 1-15 Who cares? Sam Bradford cries himself to sleep every night. Predicted Finish: 2-14

So, if you missed it, my rundown for the playoffs:

NFC North: Packers
NFC East: Cowboys
NFC West: Cardinals
NFC South: Falcons
Wild Cards: Vikings, Saints

Stay tuned on Thursday for NFL Week One Predictions!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Sports | 3 Comments »

Newer Entries »
The shoe cables a repent reward near the visible.