Posts About ‘Brady’

Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Championship Round

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Well, I was right on about every game last week – except for Denver. That’s three out of four again. Look, the Broncos should have won that game – just like the Colts should have won the week before. Except the Broncos really fucked up. They had the single worst defensive play of the season when they gave up that TD with 30 seconds to go. Where did you think the pass was going to go? Why was a safety not standing on the goal line? They fucked that up, then in OT Peyton got pushed around and finally made a fatal error. I opined last week about Peyton’s ability to play in cold weather in the playoffs, and while I picked him to win I kind of knew that he wasn’t going to.

Both the Patriots and the Niners dominated, but only the Niners looked like a playoff team. Harbaugh held that read option look until the playoffs and it worked. The Falcons might be prepared for it, but I doubt that they’ll be fully prepared for it. The Packers are struggling lately in the playoffs, and that game made a strong case for the importance of a running game in a pass heavy league. They couldn’t establish a play action. Meanwhile the Patriots just keep scoring, no matter who Brady is throwing to. Doesn’t matter. While Joe Montana might have had Jerry Rice all those years, Brady doesn’t need just one guy, he can make any guy a star.

So this is the second to last column of the year, then a hiatus until the season kicks back up again. So you should be full of sadness. Me, I’m going to go cuddle with my guns before they are taken away. Just kidding. I don’t cuddle.

San Francisco at Atlanta – January 20, 2013, 3:00 PM ET +3.0 49.0 O/U
The first game kicks off in the Georgia Dome, which sucks for the Niners. I think they have that energy at home which really helps the team and Atlanta gets super lucky at home. Like last week, when they nearly gave the game away and just beat the Seahawks. Frankly, I’d love to pick the Falcons to win this game and I think they can, and might. But I have to put more value on Colin Kaepernik than one should put on a human being. The guy is a good pocket passer, has the patience of a veteran and makes RGIII look like a chicken with his head cut off. Whether it’s a designed run or a snap decision, the kid has his head on straight. Now, Harbaugh busted out the read option against the Packers who have no run defense and play a classic smash on the line. The Falcons also play a smash, but in preparing for either the Seahawks or Redskins with that week off, they prepared for a running QB. Their secondary just didn’t prepare for the deep ball. So that’s what it comes down to, if the Falcons can contain Kaepernik, and I don’t think they do. At least not for a whole game. He won’t peel off 181 against them, but he’ll get a couple runs, extending plays. For that, I’m taking the Niners to just edge out the Falcons, though I wouldn’t mind being proven wrong.

Baltimore at New England – January 20, 2013, 6:30 PM ET -8.5 51.0 O/U
In this rematch of last years AFC Championship game, not much has changed. Of course the Patriots are favored, but the Ravens are playing with some sort of fire, and you can credit Ray Lewis for that. The now cyborg ex-con is a locker room preacher and gets a team fired up. Joe Flacco, who played amazing last week to little or no fanfare, is still the key to the offense. The kid has a fantastic arm and uses it. The Patriots secondary will not be able to stop the deep ball, and this game will certainly come down to who can score the most points. The Patriots front seven and the defense will have to be on the ball this week, no flip flopping like they’ve done all season. Belichick always finds a way to win, or at least compete in these types of games. The real key for the Pats though is Welker. If he can continue to David Copperfield opponents, then a win is nearly guaranteed. I’m not too worried about Gronk being out, as Hernandez can carry that load and there will be plenty of tricks up the sleeve of the Hoodie. Patriots to win.

Now, for your entertainment, Bad Lip Reading does the NFL. Hilarious!

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Divisional Weekend

Thursday, January 10th, 2013

So last week I went a respectable three out of four. I really did not expect the Colts to give it away like they did. Their front offensive line pretty much helped make it open season on young Andrew Luck. I really wanted the Colts to win because I like what they’ve been able to do this season and I really don’t like the Ravens. What I didn’t count on was Ray Lewis coming back, and getting like nine tackles. Without Ray Lewis, the Colts may have won that game. When I wrote the column last week, I didn’t know he was going to be back in.

So I’m writing this from a Starbucks in Planet Hollywood in Vegas where I finally have good WiFi. I’m here for CES and probably won’t even get to the convention floor. Meetings, meetings, meetings. I mean, meetings with the Roulette table. Oh yeah baby. So as I’m writing this, the guy next to me is having a sex chat with his girl via Skype. I can tell cause she’s wearing little, they went from verbal to typing and every time I glance over it’s like watching one of those porn videos people talk about. Thankfully, he’s keeping it classy by not unzipping right here.

Anyway, I better get this written up, I have a meeting in a few minutes at some hotel that I’ll probably get lost in. Actually, I want to ditch the meeting cause after researching the company it seems really super mega boring and I don’t want to do super mega boring right now. At least I’m not having ACL, MCL and every other CL surgery like RG3 right now. And at least I’m not fired like a shit ton of coaches, including now Rob Ryan, who will most likely not be working in NY with his brother. And at least I’m not Peyton Manning, who knows damn well he’s going to have to play in the cold against the Patriots next week. It’s inevitable.

Baltimore at Denver -9.5
The Ravens pose an interesting challenge for the Denver offensive line, can they control the speed and toughness of a recharged and pumped up defense? That’s the only key to this game. People are questioning Manning’s resolve, whether or not he can handle the week off and the cold weather, I think that isn’t a problem this week. I think the Broncos get an early lead and pound out the rest of the game, leaving Manning able to avoid the rush and save himself for next week, in the cold again, against the Patriots. The Ravens got lucky last week, with Lewis coming back, I don’t think they have the same energy this week, at least not after the first quarter. Broncos to win.

Green Bay at San Francisco -3.0
The big question for this game is how do the Packers contain Frank Gore? Earlier this year, he ripped off over 100 yards against the Packers, then watched as Adrian Peterson did it to the Packers in the last game of the season. However, the very next week the Packers figured something out as they held Peterson in check and were too much for the Vikings without their star running back. I think we could see them show the same defensive fronts against the Niners this week, the only x-factor being Colin Kaepernik. That kid can run, and unlike RG3, he’s got a much stronger physicality to him. He’s not going to twist an ankle getting tackled, and he’s going to use the read and spread option to confuse the defense because he can actually pass the ball. So the Niners then have to worry about Rodgers just lighting up their secondary in the nice weather in San Fran. Sure, he plays well in the cold, but he plays better when he’s comfortable and his receivers have warm hands. This game really could go either way, but I’m taking the Niners by a nose.

Seattle at Atlanta -1.0
The Seahawks were impressive last week, but it is not going to matter against the stronger offense of the Falcons. The Seahawks defense has been lights out against the run, and their secondary has been more than competent. The thing is, Matt Ryan and his top flight receivers in Julio Jones and Roddy White can do things that most teams cannot defend against. Those back shoulder throws, and getting the ball up high enough so that only those tall receivers can get it are just a few. Add to that the constant threat of play action and the arsenal of weapons at his disposal and the Falcons offense will be hard to beat. Of course, we know how the Falcons tend to choke in the post-season, so we’ll see if they do. But for now, I’m sticking with the Falcons to finally get that sweet post-season victory.

Houston at New England -9.5
Clearly you have noticed the trend here, I’m picking all home teams, and I’ve already picked the Patriots in the opening paragraph. So, as well as the Texans have done this season, defensively or otherwise, the Patriots are built for the playoffs and that’s why they are going to win. Patriots to win, with little discussion.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 17

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Well, the final week of the regular season is upon us. That means that most of you are done with your fantasy football season. I have one more game, the second half of the final, which I’ll probably lose as I’m going in down by 51 points. I lost my other final too, so that means second place in two leagues this year. Lame, but the good news is that I get double my money back and had some fun along the way. Next year, I’m winning them all.

In other news, the playoffs are just about set – in the AFC. The NFC is still waiting for the East to get their shit together, and the North to figure out a wild-card, which could come from the East as well. The Giants and Cowboys are at 8-7, Washington is at 9-7 which means it comes down to the final game of the weekend to decide that division and who gets into the playoffs, though that decision could be made before then if the Giants lose to the Eagles and the Bears and Vikings lose, or something like that. Or reverse. Whatever happens, I bet the Giants will find a way to sneak into the playoffs again. We’ll keep it quick this week, so you can go back to finding after Christmas sales and watching porn. Don’t lie. That’s exactly what you’re doing.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta -0.0
Atlanta has already clinched home-field advantage and will be benching starters in the second half. The Bucs have played well this season, to a fault. I’m still taking the Falcons at home. FYI: if they win, I was totally right about their record.

NY Jets at Buffalo -3.0
Who cares? Um… Bills to win.

Baltimore at Cincinnati -3.0
Nothing to play for here as the Ravens have the division and both teams have made the playoffs. I gather this will be a slow game, none of the players looking to get hurt. Sucks for the product sometimes, but I get it. Bengals to win.

Chicago at Detroit +3.0
The Lions, who have had a forgettable season with an undisciplined defensive line, have a chance to play spoiler here. The Bears have not yet made the playoffs, but a win here gets them in unless the Vikings also win, and then I’m not sure what happens. They are 1-1 on the season, though the Vikings have more division wins. So that must be the tiebreaker right? Either way, the Bears have to win, so expect them to come out attacking the Lions secondary, who will almost certainly be sleeping on the job this week. Bears to win.

Jacksonville at Tennessee -4.0
If the Jags fuck up getting Tebow for next season, then they are roasted as a franchise. They will lose whatever fans they have left. TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW TEBOW. Titans to win at home cause that Jake Locker kid is actually not as bad as he looks.

Houston at Indianapolis +7.0
Houston and Indy have both clinched the playoffs, Houston has the division but probably wants this win to lock up home-field advantage. So they’ll be playing to win. Great defensive season for them, hopefully TJ Yates stays on the sidelines in the playoffs. The Colts went from worst to the playoffs in a season, with a little Luck and a tenacious defense. That, and four games against the Titans and Jags. They can rest starters, they can’t change their position. Texans to win.

Carolina at New Orleans -5.5
I’m surprised that Carolina won 6 games. Saints to win at home, by like a billion points just for one last blowout party of the year.

Philadelphia at NY Giants -7.0
The Giants have to win this game if they want to get that longshot chance at the playoffs, and they couldn’t ask for a better divisional match-up this year. Even better for the Giants, there is early word that Vick might start, which is yet another in a long line of dumbass decisions by Andy Reid this season. Why in the fuck would you start Vick? Chances are he’s gone next season, now is the perfect time to keep Foles in and evaluate him against a strong Giants team. Whatever. Eagles are terrible. I was wrong about them though, predicted they would go 8-8. And I was 100% wrong about the Redskins. Who knew?

Cleveland at Pittsburgh -0.0
The Steelers are out of the playoffs for the first time in a long time. Last year they got Tebow’ed, this year they get to finish the season on a low note against the Browns. The Browns have had nothing to play for since like week 4, so they will be going full steam this week just to try to beat the Steelers twice in a season since… probably ever. I’m taking the Browns to win.

Kansas City at Denver -16.0
Ha ha. Denver to win and cruise into the playoffs. Here’s the question though, can Manning win after getting a week off in the playoffs? Hmmm???

Green Bay at Minnesota +3.0
The Vikings absolutely have to win if they want to get into the playoffs. The Packers have sealed up the division and would probably like to ensure they have a 1st round bye. So they’ll be on their game this week, which is bad news for the Vikings secondary. And no weather to fuck with Rodgers passing game? Yeah. Packers to win.

Miami at New England -10.0
Patriots are right where they should be. Coasting into the playoffs and if you think they will be resting starters, you are nuts. Miami to lose. Bad.

Oakland at San Diego -0.0
I wonder if Oakland kept the receipt for Palmer? Chargers to win.

Arizona at San Francisco -16.5 AND St. Louis at Seattle -10.5
May as well run this division all at once. The Rams and Cardinals have had crummy seasons, the highlight for the Rams was beating the Niners in overtime and forcing a stupid tie in their other game. The highlight for the Cardinals was… was… nothing. The Seahawks have been on fire, but that running up the score shit and passing late will come back to haunt them in the playoffs. They need a win this week to get the division, if the Niners lose. I think. I have no idea what the tie breaker is here either. So confusing. Someone read the rules. Either way, Niners and Seahawks to win, to make it super confusing.

Dallas at Washington -3.0
And the big meaningful game for the NFC East. Know what? The Cowboys aren’t going to win this game. The Redskins are playing too good, rushing too good and RGIII has been a quality rookie surprise. I’m taking the Redskins to win, but to lose in the first round of the playoffs.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 16

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

For the first time ever, I’m in the final in two of three fantasy football leagues. That’s nuts. How did I do it this year? It all comes down to drafting well and choosing reliable players. There was no one on my team who ever hit the IR, so I was never struggling to replace a spot. Every week I went with the match-ups and picked players that were going to perform, regardless of whether or not I thought their team was going to win. When Vick Ballard was the starter in Indy due to injury to Brown, I picked up Ballard. Why? I knew he’d get all the carries, regardless of if he even hit the end zone. You get points for RB’s over 100 yards. Besides that, Matty Ice and the Atlanta defense were awesome this year. Good call me. However, there is one more game to go and in one league I’m up against Aaron Rodgers, so we’ll see. Second place is the first loser after all.

The NFC East is crap. Everyone thinks they are elite, knotted up at 8-6 (save for the Eagles) but c’mon, that’s either parity or they all are just blowing it. The Giants getting rocked last week, the Redskins beating the Browns? All three teams are fighting for the division. With the Vikings and Bears also at 8-6, and Seattle at 9-5, chances are only one of those NFC East teams are going to make the playoffs, the winner of the division. Right now, the Skins hold the tiebreaker, but there is still a little infighting. The Redskins have the Eagles this week, so there’s a win. They could very well be in the playoffs.

In other news, pending the end of the world tomorrow, there are only two weeks of the regular season left and then the playoffs. So that means that it’s almost time to ignore the pro-bowl. Not to be ignored, Adrian Peterson, who ran for a billion yards against the Rams (the Rams!) last week. MVP? Comeback player of the year? I’m still voting for Peyton. As for the picks, this time of year I start breaking down what went wrong, and next week I start ignoring the losers.

Atlanta at Detroit +3.0
Atlanta is heading to the playoffs, and hopefully Matty Ice keeps throwing. The Falcons have done everything right this year, let’s hope they don’t choke in the first round again. What went wrong in Detroit? This team was plagued by a terrible secondary all year long, double coverage on Johnson and WR injuries and bad time management by Swartz. The Lions were no where near where they were last year. Plus, their defense just loves spreading bad game karma (Suh). Falcons to win.

New Orleans at Dallas -1.0
Obviously, a must win for the Cowboys. We know what went wrong with the Saints this year. Losing a good coach can do that to a team that needs coaching. However, in the past couple weeks the Saints have woken the fuck up and every offensive player has become a defensive nightmare. Speaking about defensive nightmares, the Cowboys have not been terribly impressive on either side of the ball, much less the defense. I have the Saints knocking the Cowboys out of the playoff hunt.

Tennessee at Green Bay -11.5
What went wrong in Tennessee? CJ2K got that mad money, then forgot how to run. Jake Locker showed his growing pains and the defense lost a leader in Finnegan. The Packers, well, nothing went wrong. They just kind of were chilling the first half of the season. Packers to win by a good margin.

Indianapolis at Kansas City +6.0
The Colts are going to benefit from only six teams in the AFC having a winning record, as they seek a playoff berth. It’s going to be wild-card, but that’ll do. That’ll do. The Chiefs have had a terrible season, finally resorting to poor Brady Quinn who has managed to validate the Browns letting him go. You know you suck when the Browns feel good about losing you. The Chiefs would do well to lose out, as they are now competing with Jacksonville for 1st pick in the draft. Colts to win.

Buffalo at Miami -4.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
It’s like the Bills, Jets & Dolphins got together mid-season and said “let’s make sure the Patriots have an easy six games this year, and lets not win that much so they can make the playoffs.” Does Toronto even want the Bills playing there once a year? Poor Toronto. Dolphins to win. Who cares.

San Diego at NY Jets -1.0
What went wrong in San Diego? Easy. Norv Turner once again proved he’s a terrible late game play caller and the defense was just shredded in too many games late in the game. They got tired way too quick and Rivers just looked pissed all season. The Jets. Whoo boy. What else needs to be said? Sanchez is finally benched, but it’s too little too late. And why in the fuck did Rex Ryan take Sanchez out last week for a dumbass Tebow play when Sanchez was actually on a hot streak? Fire Rex. Fire Sanchez. Let Tebow go play in Jacksonville where he can be a star. For this game, Chargers to win.

Washington at Philadelphia +5.5
The Eagles. Another team where everything that could go wrong, did. Andy Reid made bullheaded decisions, fired people that were doing fine jobs to use as scapegoats and inexplicably kept starting Vick. That’ll be over soon as the Redskins, who have surprisingly done everything right this year, will beat the pants off them, prompting fans to run Reid out of town for good. Skins to win.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh -4.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
The Bengals have one game up on the Steelers, but still need to win one of two to make the playoffs. The Bengals are in a great spot, but it would be better if they won both games. That shitty loss to Dallas two weeks ago did not leave them in the best sort. So their destiny is truly in their hands and they get to play rival Pittsburgh to decide it. If they lose here, then next week is a must win for both teams if one of them wants to get in the playoffs. I predicted the Bengals rise up a few weeks ago, and I’m sticking with them. Dalton turns the ball over a lot less than the Steelers have been lately, and the Bengals defense has been lights out. Bengals to upset.

St. Louis at Tampa Bay -3.0
I predicted six wins this season for the Bucs and they are at six wins. The Rams are also at six wins, so I can see them winning this game. Both of these teams underperformed this year, but at least the Rams looked like their players and coach were trying harder. Schiano is a scumbag and that scumbag karma has come back and kicked him in the ass. The Rams have some offensive power, but they have to stifle Doug Martin otherwise he’ll do to them what Peterson did last week. I’m taking the Rams to win, but only if they stop the run.

Oakland at Carolina -9.5
I was honestly surprised at how bad the Panthers were this year. Their win/loss record does not mesh with Cam Newtons ego. Oh, could that have something to do with it? Don’t do the fucking Superman dance if you are losing dipshit. Just score, hand the ball to a ref and go back to work. You rookie fuckers could learn something from Tom Brady and other elite quarterbacks, something you’ll never be if you keep acting like egotistical asspricks. The Raiders blow. Carson Palmer will most likely retire in shame. Panthers to win.

New England at Jacksonville +14.5
The Jags really should have made a stronger play for Tebow. I don’t even know where to start with this team. Will they ever compete again? Who the hell knows. If the Patriots don’t put 50+ on ‘em I’ll be surprised. Pats to win.

Minnesota at Houston -9.5
The Vikings need a win to get lucky and land in the playoffs. The Texans need a win to secure a bye week. This should be an interesting game, because everyone was lauding AP last week for his huge day against the hapless Rams. Let’s see if he can do it against a defense worth their salt, especially against the run. J.J. Watt has a taste for QB blood, so Ponder better throw that ball quick. I’m taking the Texans to win at home and get that bye.

Cleveland at Denver -13.0
I don’t even have to talk about what went wrong with the Browns, they are the Browns. Us Browns fans know what went wrong, they exist. Ugh. Richardson was the one standout this year, but I don’t see him racking up the yards against a stout Denver defense. And now that Peyton has got his shit together with the O-line, forget it. I do foresee the Browns getting at least one or two picks off Manning, who has made a few bad throws this year. Broncos to win.

Chicago at Arizona +5.5
The Bears road to the playoffs goes through Arizona, who after getting trounced by the Seahawks beat up on the Lions. Go figure. The Arizona defense hasn’t been too shoddy, but the roundtable at QB has been a shame. The Bears couldn’t ask for a better match-up to grab a playoff spot though, if they lose this game they don’t deserve the playoffs. Bears to win.

New York at Baltimore +1.0
Baltimore has already clinched a spot in the playoffs, but would love to hold the Bengals at bay and take the division. The Giants are going to once again wait until the last minute to get into the playoffs and probably end up in the Superbowl. Eli seems to play better under pressure, and the wild-card round fares well for the Giants. Unlike his brother, who usually gets too much time off without facing a loss and then loses in the first round of the playoffs. The networks and everyone else is rooting for a Manning v Manning Superbowl, but that ain’t gonna happen. The Giants win here though, just cause I really hate the Ravens and Cowboys.

San Francisco at Seattle +1.0 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
And finally, the game of the week. Why? Because if the Seahawks win this game, they have a shot at the division, but that would mean the Niners would have to lose next week. Who do they play next week? The Cardinals. And the Seahawks have the Rams. So really, the winner of this game really matters for the division. Even though the Niners made the Patriots look bad at home last week, the Seahawks are coming in hot. Another big win, yes, over a struggling Bills team, but still a big win last week. They are scoring points and running up the score. That can be bad karma though, and the Niners have all the weapons and the number one defense. Come crunch time, it’s the Niners. Niners to win.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 13

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

It is week 13 in the NFL which means that we know damn well who the winners and losers are and who has an outside chance of rising up and making the playoffs. There is one team that I’m looking at (even going so far as to backing their players in fantasy football) that is going to rise up and steal a playoff spot. More on that in a second. Speaking about fantasy though, it is week 13 which means for many, it is the last week before playoffs begin.

This year, I have clinched the playoffs in one league on the back of Phil Dawson, Matt Ryan and AJ Green. The other league I have AJ Green and Ryan in is a defense plays league, and I did not make the playoffs there and actually just traded Green for Jimmy Graham and Cecil Shorts. The third league, I’m in fourth at the moment, but really need a win this week to clinch a playoff spot. That team is also led by Matt Ryan (who has not done me so well the last two weeks), with Calvin Johnson as the primary receiver. Not a lot of TD’s, but a lot of yards.

This week though, in the league I’ve already clinched, I’m going with Andy Dalton over Ryan and the Bengals Defense. While the Saints give up the most fantasy points to opposing QB’s, I’m liking the way Cincinnati is playing right now and I suggest that you do what you can to grab any Cincinnati players before the trade deadline. Also, my primary RB in all leagues is Green-Ellis. I’ve found that synching all my teams makes more a better fantasy season all around.

So in real football news, that’s the team that I think is going to rise up and steal a playoff spot – the Bengals. They are playing fast and strong and their schedule over the next few weeks puts their fate strongly in their hands. The playoffs is theirs to lose. As for the losers, the Eagles top that list. What a shit shack. Next on that list are the Jets, also a supreme disappointment. I’d put the Browns, Rams, Cardinals, etc., on that list, but we expected them to lose. So after skipping last week (turkey hangover bitches) lets get to picking some games.

New Orleans at Atlanta -3.0
Big game for the Saints if they hope to make a run for the playoffs. To their advantage, outside of Atlanta, the NFC is wide freaking open. Those wild card spots will be highly contested and probably come down to the last game. Even the Rams have an outside chance. Of course, the Saints are going to have to win out, and I don’t think they do that. Their defense is giving up too many points, and the offense just isn’t keeping up. Defenses are aware of Graham now, and Brees doesn’t seem to have the weapons he used to have, especially in the running game. While Ivory has impressed, it hasn’t been enough. Speaking about running game, the Falcons have made it to 10-1 pretty much without using Turner that much, sticking to more swing routes and pitches to the faster running Rodgers. Keep in mind the Saints handed the Falcons their only loss this season. Regardless, back at home, I’m taking the Falcons.

Jacksonville at Buffalo -7.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
The AFC picture is a little bit clearer when it comes to the playoffs, and neither of these teams are in it. Henne has been better for the Jags than Gabbert, but it’s too little too late. The highlight here is watching rising stars Sheets and Blackmon make names for themselves, in the hopes they get to play somewhere else next season. The Bills can score points, but they can also turn the ball over a lot. I’m going out on a limb here and taking the Jags to win. Even at 2-9, they still have a shot at not completely looking like jackasses. Jags on the road to upset.

Seattle at Chicago -3.0
One second the Hawks look playoff caliber, the next second they look weak. Doesn’t really matter. Chicago is playing some inspired football. Tough too. Last week was great when Cutler got pushed out of bounds, then flipped the ball at a Vikings player. That’s the chippy Cutler that we all know and love. He got flagged for 15 yards, but it was totally worth it. The Bears aren’t going to lay down at home for a team like the Seahawks, they are going to pummel them. Bears to win.

Indianapolis at Detroit -3.5
I bet you want to pick an upset here don’t you? Well, the Lions are still having trouble closing out games, and with Johnson unable to find open space to run, they are having trouble scoring with the long ball as well. Losing three in a row hasn’t helped them rebound this season at all. Stafford is getting shoved, hurried and sacked way too often. That line has got to protect. The Indy pass rush isn’t much of a threat, but Luck and TY Hilton might be. Close game here, but I think the Lions edge out at home. I could be wrong though, this is one I see could go either way.

Minnesota at Green Bay -9.0
The Vikings are down Harvin, and seem to forget they have the leagues #1 rusher on their team. Field goals from 4th and one against the division leading Bears? Are you shitting me? Peterson averages like four yards a carry and you are taking pussy points? The Vikings have given up, I’d say that makes them dangerous, and against the Packers non-existent rushing defense that’d be even more true, but the Packers have that Rodgers guy. Protect him and win the game. Packers at home.

Houston at Tennessee +5.5
The Titans are 0-3 in the division and welcome division leader Houston to town. Yeah, Arian Foster is gonna be like “hey Chris Johnson, this is how it’s done now.” The Titans are going to get shredded. They’ll put up a valiant fight, but the Houston D-Line will crush Locker. Texans to win.

Carolina at Kansas City +2.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Boy, here’s your who gives a shit game of the week. You’d think this would be on Monday Night Football the way those games have been. After beating the hapless Eagles, now the Panthers get the Chiefs. Too bad the Panthers are 3-8. Panthers to win. But no one will be watching.

San Francisco at St. Louis +6.5
The Niners have a rare QB problem. That is, both of them are winners. Alex Smith is probably the most dogged QB in the history of the franchise. My guess, he’s out at the end of the year, playing in KC or something. Which is a mistake. He’s got the arm and the game smarts to be great. Dunno why he can’t get his due in SF. Fuck ‘em. Kaepernik gives them just as much chance to win, though they could start Randy Moss at QB this week and win. Niners to win. Of course, keep in mind they did tie last time they played the Rams.

New England at Miami +9.0
Miami has an outside chance of getting to the playoffs, but this is the week to make that leap. This is a must win game, against a team that seems to just score and score and score but wait! No Gronk? Out with a broken arm thanks to an idiotic decision to keep him in the game, the Patriots are down their leading scorer. So, I suppose that’s a slight advantage for Miami. Tough game for the Fins, as they’ll fall behind quick and never seem to catch up. Patriots to win, but the Dolphins keep it close. Mostly cause the Pats secondary is non-existent.

Arizona at NY Jets -4.5
The Cardinals have Wells back, which should put some more depth in the running game, something the Jets can’t seem to stop. Sure the rookie QB in Arizona isn’t that great yet, and the Jets home crowd hates the Jets more than the visiting team, but the Cards have a chance here. The Jets are not going to even come close to the playoffs, and they are getting primed to clean house. Watch. Cards to win.

Tampa Bay at Denver -7.0
The Bucs are another NFC team that must win this week in order to make a run for the playoffs. Sadly, they travel to the thin air of Denver to face Peyton and the Broncos. While the Bucs gave the Falcons all they could handle, I don’t think they get that lucky against the Broncos, who are playing tighter and tighter every week. I’m sticking with the Denver Mannings to win this game and to continue into the playoffs.

Cleveland at Oakland -1.5
The Browns forced – get this – eight fucking turnovers against the Steelers. The Steelers! If the defense plays the same, they’ll win again this week easy, because Oakland doesn’t wait for forced turnovers, they just give the fucking ball away. Shurmer might be a shit coach, but even he can see that if he just keeps the pressure on Palmer, he’ll win. Browns to win.

Cincinnati at San Diego +2.0 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
This is it for both these teams. A win here and the Bengals will most likely pass the Steelers in the division, edging closer to a playoff spot. A loss for the Chargers likely means that at least Norv Turner is toast, as his poor decision making and clock management will have finally caught up to him. Additionally, Rivers is playing for his life right now, at 4-7, he’s not looking like the price they paid. Bengals to win.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore -0.0
The Steelers are hurting. Literally. charlie Batch was less than impressive against the Browns, the whole team looked like a mess. Without Big Ben, I’m writing them off. If he doesn’t slap on some Kevlar and come back, they are done. The Ravens are going to win this division, if they can beat the Steelers here and keep the Bengals at bay. The next few weeks should be interesting. Either way, Ravens win at home.

Philadelphia at Dallas -9.0
That sound is the sound of Eagles fans holding back the tears. Nick Foles is quickly cementing his place in the hall of perennial backups and he’s only a rookie. You gotta win son. You had your chance against the Panthers, now you are probably headed back to the bench so that Vick can come in and look just as shitty. Bryce Brown was impressive, but needs to learn how to carry the fucking ball. Did you see him swinging it out there? A good fantasy pick if you don’t get penalized for fumbles. Dallas isn’t that great of a team, but have a strong rushing attack going at times, and other times a coach who can’t seem to read the giant digital clock. Regardless, the Eagles aren’t going to win another game this year. Cowboys at home.

New York at Washington +2.5
And we come to the other half the NFC East. The surprisingly dominant Giants against the not to be underrated Redskins. The Skins keep showing that spark that winning teams have, which can mostly be attributed to RGIII. A win at home, against the Giants would be fucking huge for RGIII and the Redskins, who have won two in a row and have a good shot at the playoffs – if they can continue to win in the division. In consecutive weeks they’ve beaten the Eagles and Cowboys, yet lost to the Giants earlier this year. They have two more against the Eagles and Cowboys, so this game is huge for them. The Giants rolled Green Bay, and coming off that win are hard to discount or pick an upset against. Going with the numbers here and picking the Giants to win.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 11

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

Terrible week last week, for my picks and for QB injuries. Vick went out with a concussion (though I suspect it’s not as such and he was pulled cause he’s terrible) as well as Jay Cutler. Big Ben went down with a shoulder injury. The Steelers were the only team not to lose after losing their QB, though in all honestly the Eagles suck and the Steelers were playing the Chiefs. Turnovers sunk the Bears, as their offense couldn’t manage to hang on to the ball. You don’t think defense wins championships? Just take a look at that Bears v. Texans game.

In other football type news, there was a tie this week, which is like taking your mom to prom. Fucking weak. The worst part is that it was a tie in the NFC West division, which is going to be hotly contested anyway when it comes down to it. At the point, the Seahawks are smiling like crazy after their win. The biggest surprise for me this weekend wasn’t the Fins getting blown out, or the Falcons losing to the Saints or the Eagles just totally blowing it against the Cowboys, it was the Giants losing to the Bengals. I did not see that one coming.

One of the most dynamic QB/WR combos this year has been that of Andy Dalton and A.J. Green. They started it last year and continue this year. Tack on the rest of the WR core on this team, and they have a potent passing attack that is hard to stop. Almost as many weapons on offense as the Falcons. They also have a pretty competent run game too. I’m surprised by this Bengals team and think they can make a run at the Ravens, as long as they aren’t playing in Baltimore.

Anyway, since this is the time of year that I start to get the sinking feeling that nobody actually reads this column besides me, CC and my boys Brett & Mikey, I’m just gonna get on with the picks.

Miami at Buffalo -1.0
So after playing some bizarre football last week, these two struggling AFC East teams meet up in the cold to decide which one won’t be hanging with the Jets in the basement. The Dolphins are playing hot & cold football, while the Bills are just cold. They always play the Pats tight, because the Pats let ‘em. This week I have the Bills, because Miami never seems to win in the cold. Man I love this time of year for football. Weather rules.

Arizona at Atlanta -9.5
The Falcons lost not because they were outplayed or outmatched, but because they were evenly matched on offense. Their defense didn’t make the moves they had been making all season to keep a good scoring margin. Regardless, back at home this week, they get back to winning. Falcons at home. What? Say something about the Cardinals? They are terrible and the play calling is the worst and most timid I’ve seen all year. Is that enough?

Cleveland at Dallas -7.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Ok, I might be going out on a limb here. The Cowboys are still a mess. They are locking Jerry Jones out of the locker room, they are turning over the ball too much and Romo is playing like he doesn’t want to get his dress dirty. Sure they bea the Eagles, but the Eagles are equally fucked up. Here’s the deal, the Browns, at only two wins are coming on strong and need to finish the season in the “hopeful” column. Their defense has been playing well at times, even though ranked near the bottom. Really, it’s the 29th ranked Cowboys run defense that is the difference maker here. I say Trent runs all over them. Browns to surprise upset the Boys and make Jerry Jones cry.

Green Bay at Detroit +3.5
The Packers are back this week, back with Nelson and perhaps anyone else who was injured. The Lions are limping after getting beat pretty handily by the Vikings, and now they get the Packers. Johnson has scored two touchdowns this season and the Lions secondary appears to be sleeping on the job. Packers to win.

Cincinnati at Kansas City +3.0
Like I said earlier, the Bengals are surprising me, and the Chiefs are flat out shitty. They can’t establish a run, they can’t keep the QB in the pocket and yeah, they did sack Big Ben, but everyone gets lucky sometimes. Bengals to win.

NY Jets at St. Louis -3.5
Apparently, Jets players are bashing Tim Tebow behind his back, even though he’s not contributed much this season, of no fault of his own. And, not to mention if he was to start for the team in place of mistake prone Sanchez, he’d play his fucking heart out for them, regardless of them being absolute dicks in the locker room. Clearly, the Jets have problems. Here’s my message to the Jets players bashing Tebow – fuck you. The guy, given the chance, plays to fucking win – no matter the cost. He plays with positivity, sportsmanship and heart. Clearly that’s too difficult for you selfish pricks to understand so hope you enjoy losing. Jets lose again this week, as the Rams proved they are not to be completely underestimated. If you’ve got Jackson in your league, start him. Jets run defense is like wet toilet paper. If Tebow starts however, I may change my pick.

Philadelphia at Washington -3.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
It seems to me that everyone calling for Andy Reid’s head seem to forget how many wins & playoff appearances he’s got under his belt. However, fire him. His decision making has turned to dementia and firing his D coordinator has only made the defense worse. Keeping Vick in the game in any aspect is tanking their season. Foles will probably get the start this week, but it doesn’t matter. The Skins, while not looking like a playoff team, are at least looking a bit more concise on offense. RGIII though needs to give his receivers an extra second before he starts running around. Skins to win at home.

Tampa Bay at Carolina +1.0
The last two games for the Bucs have not only been crucial wins, but have been offensively and special teams impressive. I’m serious, and you know how much of a Bucs hater I am. I think they keep it up on the road against a quickly falling Panthers team plagued by line troubles. I dunno. I expected so much more from Cam. Sorry dude, you are like Vince Young, but you have better potential. Bucs to win.

Jacksonville at Houston -15.5
After beating the Bears at their own game, I don’t think the Texans sink low enough to play the Jags on their level. This will be like an SEC season opener. They should pay the Jags to come and get destroyed. Texans to win.

New Orleans at Oakland +4.5
The Saints are looking like The Saints once again, but considering they are playing against a team that can’t even snap the ball right the entire game, that shouldn’t be an issue. Sure the black hole is a tough place to play sometimes, but the Raiders can’t stay out of their own way long enough to win a game. Saints to win.

San Diego at Denver -7.5
Another team that loves stepping on its own toes is the Chargers. From bad Rivers decisions, to an inability to establish a strong run, to Norv Turner not knowing how to tell time, the Chargers are running out of it. Can Rivers beat Manning and the Colts, in Denver with the offense on a roll? Doubtful. Broncos to win.

Indianapolis at New England -9.5 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
While the Steelers/Ravens night game is going to be fantastic, this one intrigues me the most. The Patriots have been giving up major points this year again, and Andrew Luck is playing like he’s done this before. However, the Colts have not come up against a team that scores at will like the Patriots do. Their losses were surprising, to the Jets and Jags (Bears not so much) and their wins have been too, beating the Packers and Vikings. They looked vulnerable against the Browns and Titans, but smashed the Fins and Jags. But the Patriots do score at will. In order for the Colts to win, they have to go up big and quick, but the Patriots score at will. Pats to win.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh +4.5
I wrote every other pick before this one, even the bye week ones. This is tough. Do I go with the Ravens, who are hurting on run defense, but still good on pass defense, or the Steelers, who have been playing amazing defense once again, especially in the secondary and who are establishing a run game with who-dat players? The Ravens are favored, but why? Because of Big Ben being injured? Look, until I know if he’s playing, I can’t make a pick here. Leftwich ain’t gonna win this game for the Steelers. I’m not picking this game. Should be a good one though.

Chicago at San Francisco -5.0
Probably the best Monday night match-up this season, period. ESPN got lucky with this one I suppose, since they usually get stinkers on Monday night and NBC gets the good game on Sunday night. Either way, the Bears have got to be reeling after that loss, giving away the ball like they did. Cutler may not play as well. Marshall and Campbell just don’t have the same connection. So, who ya got? I’ve got the Bears, just cause the Niners left a bad taste in my mouth after that tie with the hapless Rams.

Bye week at Minnesota
The Vikings probably wish they didn’t have a bye so they could keep winning.

Bye week at N.Y. Giants
The Giants are wondering how in the fuck they lost in Cincinnati.

Bye week at Seattle
Seattle also wishes they didn’t have to take a bye so they could keep winning.

Bye week at Tennessee
The Titans are just confused. Blown out one week, blowing out the next. Too much blowing.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 10

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

Well, I have to gloat this week. I went 12-2 last week, which I think is my best ratio all season. I’ve had a couple ten win weeks, but this one is definitely the best. That being said, I think I’m still running at about 69%, which is regardless of my picks. Get it? Hahahaha.

I’d like to break from the NFL for a second to talk about two things that aren’t related to the NFL. The first is the NHL. That’s right, hockey. Now, I understand a lot of football fans are not hockey fans, and that’s just the way it is. I am a hockey fan, loyal to the Tampa Bay Lightning. The fact that the NHL season has already been cancelled through November, including the Winter Classic, sucks. This labor dispute is about millionaires wanting more money from billionaires. I’ll admit, many hockey players are not in the million dollar range when it comes to annual salaries, and these guys at the league minimum are losing money. They want to get out there and play and earn their paychecks. It’s the superstars, arguing for a percentage point more of the gate that are holding the game back, and it’s the NHL not giving it to them causing casual fans to just not give a shit. This is not good for the NHL, which is obvious, but unlike the NFL, fans won’t just come flocking back. The NHL needs to resolve this dispute now, before coming back to crickets.

The second thing is the Presidential Election. Most years when I go to the ballot box, I’m torn. This year was easy. Mitt Romney is so out of touch with reality and living in happy religious rich white man world that the choice was easy. As for Colorado and other states legalizing recreational weed – awesome. Even more important, congrats to the states approving marriage equality. Everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, made out of matchbooks, should have the right to suffer through marriage and pay out the nose for divorce.

In other NFL news, it appears that Andy Reid has fired Juan Castillo again, because the Eagles defense was once again just as terrible as their QB who got sacked seven times. More on that in a second. So now that we’re nearing the home stretch of the season (oh man, already?) who do you have as the best rookie standout this season? Can’t say RGIII has truly impressed, while Andrew Luck is setting records left and right. Who ya got? I’ve got Week 10 picks.

Indianapolis at Jacksonville +3.0
Andrew Luck is setting all kinds of rookie records, making his start in Indy more spectacular than Peyton. There is a pretty good chance the Colts are headed to the playoffs as a Wild Card, thanks to the AFC East being meh and parity in the NFL. No parity here, the Jags are terrible on both sides of the ball. If you have any Colts offensive players, I’d suggest starting them. I’d start Luck over Matt Ryan, but c’mon, it’s Matt Ryan. Colts to win.

New York at Cincinnati +6.0
Once again, the Bengals season is hanging by a thread. At 3-5 and getting lit up by Denver last week, the Bengals need a serious rebound. Perhaps the reeling Giants? Perhaps not. The Giants find a way to grind out a win, even though they didn’t do so against the Steelers. The Bengals allow a lot of passing yards, and another Manning should deliver another loss. Giants on the road.

Tennessee at Miami -6.0
Finally Johnson broke out last week. Too bad it was late in a rout. Fantasy owners who actually started him were happy. Too little, too late. The truth is, against an aggressive line, the Titans can’t get a running game going. Apply pressure, and the Titans will turn over the ball. The Dolphins, at 4-4 are looking to catch up to the Pats. A win here at home will help. Fins to win.

Detroit at Minnesota +1.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
This is as close as I could get to an upset special this week, a one point line. The Lions finally looked like themselves last week, with the passing game in full swing. But the were playing the Jags, who basically rolled over and played dead for three quarters. This week, they play division rival Vikings who are not playing dead. They are running well, and defending tough against the run. I think they eke out a win at home against the Lions, winning the turnover game.

Buffalo at New England -11.0
Surprisingly enough, the Bills stayed in the game through three against the Texans last week, but we all knew what was going to happen. Once again, timid and ill-timed play calling killed them in the late stages, and will kill them again this week. I don’t smell an upset here. The Patriots, while 28th in total defense, are still stronger than the Bills by far. Pats to win.

Atlanta at New Orleans +2.5
Again, another team finally comes on strong, but against a far inferior team. Drew Brees looked like his old self on that TD pass to Graham, but coaching and play calling is still a problem. This is the chance for the Saints to play spoiler, but I think they’ve already given up on their season at 3-5, which is ridiculous in the NFC. The return of Vilma helped the defense a lot, and I expect them to give Ryan a tough time passing the ball, but the Falcons have too many weapons to be ignored. Falcons to win.

San Diego at Tampa Bay -3.0
How about Martin for the Bucs? Setting a rookie record, blasting for four touchdowns – against the Raiders. Who have the run defense of a wet paper bag full of pineapples. Look, it’s a great accomplishment but hold on, the Bucs don’t play someone with a bad run defense every week… or do they? The Chargers come to town with the 4th ranked rush defense… oh. These two 4-4 teams are very hopeful. One has a coach that makes terrible late game calls (Norv) and the other has a weasel coach who plays like a dick. I’m rooting for San Diego, but the Bucs win this game.

Denver at Carolina +3.0
The Panthers rank middle of the road on just about everything, and they play like it. Last weeks win was no indication of anything as far as I’m concerned. Newton has settled down a bit, but still isn’t finding Steve Smith. Give Smith the ball, let him make the plays. These running QB’s think they need to make all the plays. How’s that working out for Vince Young and Vick? Forget it. Manning shreds them through the air. Broncos to win.

Oakland at Baltimore -7.5
Well, the Ravens D proved something last week, that even without Ray Lewis they can sink down to the Browns level and play like shit. They almost gave that game away. Thankfully, the Raiders and their 30th ranked rushing offense shouldn’t crack the 27th ranked rush defense of the Ravens. 27th? Are you serious? The Raiders can spark at times, but it won’t be enough against the Ravens at home. Ravens to win.

NY Jets at Seattle -5.5
The Jets were on a bye last week, did anyone notice? Didn’t think so. Every time they put Tebow in, I wince. No one is falling for the trick plays, the running game is nonexistent and Sanchez is still mistake prone. The only bright spot is the secondary. The Seahawks are on a tear though, and I don’t think the Jets, in the loudest stadium in the league, are going to stop them. Hawks at home.

Dallas at Philadelphia +2.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Vick was sacked seven times last week. Romo played like he was made of fine china. These two QB’s are a constant disappointment to their franchises, yet are lauded as heroes. Why? I can’t figure it out. Bench both of them, see what happens. The Eagles are a joke right now, and losing at home to rival Cowboys should cause more than one riot. I’m looking forward to it. Cowboys to win.

St. Louis at San Francisco -11.0
The Rams, coming off a bye, are another disappointment. They won’t be a challenge for the Niners, who should be able to pass at will against them. The run might get stuffed a bit, for the first quarter. Niners at home.

Houston at Chicago -1.0 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
The 7-1 Texans against the 7-1 Bears. Both teams have exceptional offense. Both teams have exceptional defense, with the Bears edging the Texans a bit in that department. Seven TD’s already this season by the Bears defense. While Schaub is not that mistake prone, the Bears D plays for turnovers. Forte and Foster might get stuffed a bit in this one. Should be a hell of a good game. The only factor is weather, as the Texans play in that dome and the Bears play in the fucking snow. I’m taking the home team. Bears to win by like one point. Maybe in overtime.

Kansas City at Pittsburgh -11.5
Yeah, Steelers to win. Do I even need to say much more than that? KC is horrible. No passing game, a rushing game that by all accounts should be fantastic and a QB that loves to throw to the other team. Steelers by a bunch.

Bye week at Arizona
The golf course beckons. Don’t worry guys, you’ll be there soon.

Bye week at Green Bay
A much needed bye week for some injuries that need healing. Then it’s back to ass kicking.

Bye week at Washington
Once again, bad late game play calling and quarterback impatience ruined the game.

Bye week at Cleveland
For a team that sucks as bad as this one, they have a really positive social media team.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 6

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

Another ten win week last week for me. This paired with two out of three fantasy losses, mostly because I had Reggie Wayne on the bench in both those leagues, and he happened to have a career day. Well, can’t win ‘em all I suppose. It seems that either my game picks are really good, or I win in Fantasy. I can’t have it both ways it appears. Which kind of sucks, because I really like being right, and I really like winning. So there’s that.

The big news this week is that Drew Brees broke Johnny Unitas’ record of consecutive games with a TD pass. Good for Brees. The funny thing about Brees is that if he was drafted now, in the current atmosphere, he’d be out of the league before he would be given a chance to develop. I still feel that a lot of rookie QB’s aren’t given the chance to properly develop before being thrown to the wolves. Some excel under that kind of pressure, like Russell Wilson, while some are generally terrible. But that’s the NFL for ya.

Other big news is the Dolphins won last week. Surprise surprise. Additionally, Brady still owns Manning, and I’m pretty sure I’d like to change any predictions I made about the Green Bay Packers. What is going on there? The Packers aren’t looking much better than the Lions. NFC North – up for grabs. On with Week 6!

Pittsburgh at Tennessee +6.0
It’s been a tough season so far for the Titans. Not only is Chris Johnson not worth the huge contract they gave him, but Locker went down with a shoulder injury. Not that Hasselbeck isn’t good, but he does seem to have entered his football twilight years. The Titans are back home this week, against a Steelers team that is still struggling to find their footing. The running game isn’t what it should be for either team. I’m taking the Steelers to win.

Oakland at Atlanta -9.0
Atlanta is undefeated and looking pretty damn good as an early Superbowl favorite on the NFC side. The only holes in this team is… is… none. The running game is great, Matt Ryan is spot-on with his receivers and the defense is doing exactly what I surmised they’d do. Conversely, the Raiders are the exact opposite. The only bright spot on this team is the glare from the silver on their uniforms. Falcons to win at home.

Cincinnati at Cleveland +1.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!
The Bengals drop a crappy game to the Dolphins and suddenly aren’t looking so fucking hot. They are only one point favorites against the Browns, a team who can’t seem to get their late game shit together. After rolling to a 14 point lead against the Giants, they then rolled right on over for the Giants to lay down the beating. 4th quarter defense was non-existent. However, the Browns have been playing strong and again are the best looking shittiest team in the league. I’m taking them to win this week.

St. Louis at Miami -3.5
Ok, I didn’t pick either of these teams to win last week. The Rams showed up against the Cards and totally beat them on defense. The Dolphins, well, I think they just got lucky, taking advantage of a Bengals team that was playing like shit. Their run defense was pretty solid too. I’m sticking with the Dolphins here, as Tannehill and Hartline have become quite the pair.

Indianapolis at NY Jets -3.0
The Jets are terrible. Sure, they are three point favorites here and aren’t as bad as the Browns, but Sanchez looked like absolute shit last week. They can’t figure out what to do with Tebow, and it’s obvious as hell what they are doing when they use him. Another loss and Tebow has got to be moved to the starter. Does his miraculous playoff run last year in Denver count for nothing? Colts to win on the road, beating Green Bay was just the start.

Detroit at Philadelphia -5.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Vick is a fucking fraud. Fumbled in the end zone last week, can’t complete anything outside a long bomb or a pitch and run. It’s only a matter of time before Vick becomes road kill. The Lions aren’t playing like a playoff team, they are back to sucking. But the defense is still just as hostile as the environment they are going into. I’m taking the Lions to upset and force Vick to turn over the ball no less than three times.

Kansas City at Tampa Bay -4.0 UPSET SPECIAL #2!!
The 1-4 Chiefs vs. the 1-3 Bucs. It’s a showdown of crap. Brady Quinn will be starting for the Chiefs, finally getting his chance to shine not in a Browns uniform. The Chiefs have the #2 rushing offense in the league, yet only have one win. The Bucs have the 4th ranked rushing defense. This should be fun. Both of them are in the bottom third when it comes to passing offense and defense. However, I think the Chiefs run crack the Bucs defense. Chiefs to upset.

Dallas at Baltimore -3.5
The Ravens defense is going to eat Tony Romo alive. They are going to break off his arms, break off his legs and make Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray watch as they devour him and a ton of turf at the same time. I hope it’s raining on Sunday so they have something to wash him down with. Ravens to win.

Buffalo at Arizona -4.5 UPSET SPECIAL #3!!
The Bills have been smacked around like little bitches since C.J. Spiller went out. It’s like they lost their mojo after losing the #1 rusher. That beating at the hands of the Niners last week, in which the back-up guys were handing it to the Bills in the 4th quarter, has got to wake this team up. The Cardinals come in with a moderate rushing game, and the Bills have proven they can’t stop that. Their best bet is to pressure Kolb, hope he fucks up and rely on the defense to win the game. I think they do. On the road. Upset special number three. Crazy. Bills to upset.

New England at Seattle +3.5
For a second there, I thought that the Broncos might actually come back against the Pats last week. For a second. The Patriots continued their dominance over Peyton Manning, but still looked flawed. I really think the Seahawks, who are playing hot right now, have a valid chance at a win here, but I think the Pats pull it off last minute drive style. Stay tuned for some drama in this one. Pats to win.

New York at San Francisco -4.5
The Niners are looking nearly unstoppable right now. While not undefeated, they are close enough. They put a smacking on the AFC East the past couple weeks and now face the NY Giants, who beat them in the playoffs last year. This game is revenge city, USA. The Niners are going to come out running, play that pistol offense and beat the Giants. Eli is the current king of 4th quarter comebacks, but not this time. Niners to win.

Minnesota at Washington -0.0
Another win for the Vikings means they are a team to watch out for. I like the way their defense is playing and while Ponder isn’t exactly pro-bowl material, he’s getting a lot better managing games. Rolling into a hostile environment of D.C. would normally be a tough game, but the locals are pretty hostile towards their team if they don’t come out winning – and they won’t. RG3 has the drive, but he just doesn’t have the game yet. Give him time. He’ll be what Vick was supposed to be. Vikings to win.

Green Bay at Houston -3.5 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
This is my game of the week for two reasons. The first is the Green Bay Packers record, which sucks. The offense is not clicking, Rodgers seems rushed and the run defense is like wet cardboard. This is their last shot to prove they are still a strong team before the Bears and Vikings leave them behind. The other reason is the Texans are undefeated! Holy shit! Superbowl – Falcons vs. Texans? It’s possible. Think about it. Texans to win.

Denver at San Diego -1.0
Well, the Chargers coughed it up last week. I didn’t watch the entire game, so I can’t give a synopsis of how they ended up losing after being ahead, but I’m guessing it’s cause they suck somehow. Anyway, I can’t pick against Manning two weeks in a row, so Broncos to win.

Chicago at Bye Week
Chicago will win the NFC North.

New Orleans at Bye Week
New Orleans will not win the NFC South.

Carolina at Bye Week
Carolina will not win the NFC South.

Jacksonville at Bye Week
Fire everyone.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 2

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Terrible first week by my standards. I went a horrible 9-7. I don’t think I’ve done that bad since some time last year. I can’t believe that I picked the Chiefs over the Falcons. What was I thinking in that one? I must have been on drugs or something. I wasn’t, but man my head must not have been in the right place. I did say the Niners could upset, but I picked Green Bay and fuck the Cowboys.

So now that we’ve gotten a regular season look at all the teams (if you have NFL RedZone that is) what do we think? We think that the Niners are going to be near unstoppable, the Panthers looked flat and RGIII was very solid in his debut while the other rookie QB’s were a bag of suck. We learned that Manning didn’t lose a step and the Browns and Bills organizations apparently don’t know that they play football. We also learned that the replacement refs make the same stupid mistakes that the regular refs do, with only some time management issues being the glaring mistakes.

So now we’re on to week 2, which starts tonight as the Bears meet the Packers. That’s not too much rest for either of these teams, so we’ll see how they do. Wait, that bit should be in the prediction. I’m aiming for a better week this week, something in the 11 or 12 win range. So without any further fanfare (unlike an Apple press event) on with the picks!

Chicago at Green Bay -4.0
Well, Brandon Marshall was simply amazing. I really regret not drafting him on my fantasy team. Speaking of that, two out of three fantasy team wins this past weekend. Not too shabby. I’m having a little trouble in the league that scores defensive players individually, as I don’t think I picked the right ones. May have to do a trade or something. Anyway, the Bears coasted to an easy win over the Colts, who still looked like they don’t have Peyton Manning. Marshall was there at every turn, giving Cutler a reliable target. I liked the steady pace of the Bears offense, you could tell that Mike Martz was no longer doing shit to muck it up. The Packers NFC dominance is over. I’m calling it. Code! Crash cart! In fact, at this point I’d like to change my prediction and pick the Bears to win the division. I’m going to start here, Bears win on the road.

Kansas City at Buffalo -3.0
Memo to Bills staff: “Considering the state of our organization and the fact that we haven’t won any playoff game in 11 years, we will be cancelling Hawaiian shirt Friday. This may come as a shock to most of you in the front office, but aside from the fact that Chan refuses to button the top three buttons of his shirt, we have no choice but to pick this particular activity to cancel. There will also be no more free cupcakes on Thursdays in the break room, and you’ll have to bring in your own coffee filters. We are also holding open tryouts for the following football positions: QB, WR, LB, OT, DE, TE, SS, CB, RB, K, P, DT. Please apply with Maggie in HR. That is all.” Chiefs to win on the road.

Cleveland at Cincinnati -7.0
The Bengals running game was the only bright spot last week, which is good considering they were playing the Ravens. Green was basically shut down for most of the game and the defense was unable to contain anything including their lunches. The drubbing by the Ravens exposed a lot about this team, mostly that Marvin Lewis (as expected) is a big hairy pussy. There is no will to win in his coaching style. The Browns face a similar situation in Shurmur, just no will to win. The defense was stellar against the Eagles, but that might have been a fluke. The Browns will lose this week, Wheedon will get sacked and hurried and rushed a lot, but I think we’ll learn how bad these two teams are gonna suck this year. Bengals at home.

Minnesota at Indianapolis +5.0
Do I have to pick this game? Does it seem like more teams suck this year than are stellar? I can’t decide if this game is going to be worse than the one above it or the one below it. I’m so confused. The Colts were meh as they were completely outmatched by the Bears. Bright spots; Luck looked okay, Donald Brown looked great on the ground. Brown and his production is going to be the key to this team getting their shit together. The secondary needs to step up if they want to compete against premiere quarterbacks. That’s a real hurt on this team. Marshall smoked them, sometimes in double coverage. The Vikings roll in, fresh off a lucky OT win over the hapless Jags. Ponder looked like warm crap on your tire, but somehow pulled it off by going to the TE route and Peterson as often as possible. I’m going out on a limb here and taking the Colts to upset, again, cause I want to see Luck get his first win.

Oakland at Miami +3.0 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!!
Something you don’t ever want to hear in professional football: “bring in the back-up long snapper!” That was doom for the Raiders as kicking mistakes handed the Chargers an easy win. If not for that, the Raiders might have had a chance to come into Miami with a win. As it is, both these teams are looking for their first win, but I don’t think the Dolphins are up to the task. Tannehill was atrocious, probably the worst rookie performance on Sunday. I dunno. I didn’t look at the stats, he just looked bad. The Dolphins are really having trouble adjusting to a new defensive pattern, missing coverages and tackles all over the place. I expect the Raiders to come in with a thirst for blood and I expect them to find some for slurping. Raiders to win on the road.

Arizona at New England -13.0
After last week, do I really have to pick another New England game? I predicted them at 16-0 so I suppose I can save some typing and just say Patriots to win. However, the Cardinals should give them some trouble, if they take Tom Brady’s parking spot. The Cardinals saw Skelton go down and Kolb take over to lead the team past the Seahawks last week, a slight feat considering that division. A two touchdown line is generous. Pats to win. I already said that. Pats to win all season.

Tampa Bay at NY Giants -9.0
What can I say about the team that I hate the most? The Bucs were surprisingly good last week, both on defense and on the ground. Not to mention the rush defense which stifled the Panthers. I did not see that coming. Regardless, now they face a team that has tons of weapons on offense, which will really test the Bucs defense. I think the Bucs defense has made a good turnaround and looks like they could seal some games for the lackluster offense this year, but I’m not placing any major bets. Eli and the Giants are too good for that. But wait, the Giants lost to the Cowboys last week! How did that happen? Well, it happened with bad secondary coverage and Romo looking like the quarterback everyone seems to think he is. The Bucs don’t have that kind of passing game to severely threaten the Giants secondary, but they need to be on their game. Giants to win.

Baltimore at Philadelphia -1.0
Are you kidding me with this fucking line? Did Flacco sustain a head injury that we don’t know about? The Ravens trashed the Bengals last week, while the Eagles struggled against one of the worst teams in the league. Are you oddsmakers telling me that you think Vick will throw any less interceptions against the Ravens superior defense than he did against the Browns? Vick was lucky to get out of there with a win and all his freaking ribs. This is a joke. Ray Rice is a beast and crushed it last week. There is no way that the Eagles defensive line is any better than the Browns. This is a gross miscalculation. Ravens to win.

New Orleans at Carolina +6.5 UPSET SPECIAL!!
I didn’t think that I’d see an 0-1 Saints team meeting up with an 0-1 Panthers team. The Saints were completely surprised by the abject accuracy of RGIII and the lack of Will Smith and Vilma on defense showed. Not to mention the lack of leadership in not having a coach on the field. This team is hurting right now and it was apparent last week. Meanwhile, the Panthers took it in the tailpipe from the Bucs, especially when it came to the running game. The good news for them is that Jonathan Stewart will play against the Saints. This is a tough one to call, but I’m thinking the Panthers are going to rebound before the Saints do. Cam knows what to do. Panthers to upset.

Houston at Jacksonville +7.0
Forget it. Arian Foster proved why he was the top fantasy pick in so many leagues, or if not the top – the first picked running back. When he sees the opportunity to shred a lousy team for tons of yards and touchdowns he does, and he did against the Fins last week. Then you tack on the Shaub to Johnson connection and you can’t beat this team on offense. The Jags defense won’t be able to keep up, even though they contained the game against the Vikings. The Jags are still looking for their offense to click, MJD and Jennings are sharing carries and neither looks like they showed up for training camp. Florida teams are in for a bad year and it sucks to say that the Bucs are the best of the three of them. Texans to win on the road.

Washington at St. Louis +3.0
Bradford found himself in too much trouble last week to really consider his performance. While he was able to rally the team to keep in the game against the Lions, he was rushed way too much to be able to keep the score up. The Redskins found their offense, finally, after all these years of bad quarterbacks, bad ownership and bad coaching. RGIII is the real deal and was terribly accurate the entire game, finding his way out of pressure and making the right connections. Helu got back into the game, looking better than he has in a few seasons. And did you know, the kids aren’t Tebowing anymore, they are RGIII’ing or something like that. You know when he sat down and raised his hands after that long touchdown pass to Garcon, that. The bad news is Garcon went out after that, not sure if he’s back in this week. Shouldn’t matter, should still be a win. The Redskins are gonna make the NFC East interesting this year. Skins to win on the road.

Dallas at Seattle +5.0
Dallas. Look, Russell Wilson actually looked pretty good against the Cardinals last week, I mean, compared to Wheedon. He made some passes, Sidney Rice caught some balls and they still lost the game. The Seahawks are held together with that clear plastic tape that doesn’t work well for boxes. The Cowboys roll in, fresh off a win over the reigning Super Bowl champs. That’s enough for me. The Cowboys defense was strong, their running game was tight and Romo looked like a bon-a-fide QB. I may have underestimated the Cowboys this season. If they blowout the Hawks, I may have to change my thinking on this team.

NY Jets at Pittsburgh -6.0
It’s really hard to judge the Jets at this point because the Bills are horrible. A win was a no-brainer. Sanchez was passing to every receiver that he had on the field and every time either him or Tebow lined up out of the QB position I grumbled a little bit because it was pretty damn obvious what they were doing. I do like how Tebow came out on the hands team on that Buffalo onside kick and got the ball, that was amusing. Every time the two of them were on the field I just wanted to laugh. I thought I was watching playground football. I didn’t see much of the Pittsburgh loss, I was doing something else, I always am during the Sunday night game, kind of on in the background. All I know is that a quality QB smoked their secondary and an aging RB smoked their run defense. The Jets could be trouble for the Steelers, but I think the Steelers rebound on this one at home and sneak by the Jets. Steelers to win.

Tennessee at San Diego -6.0
Well, Jake Locker was another rookie Qb with another less than stellar debut. He ended up leaving the game a bit early, injured and Hasselbeck came into the game. To that point, it didn’t really matter as they were up against the best offensive team in the league. This week, they come to sunny San Diego, where Rivers and crew is feeling the pinch without a prime reciever after Jackson left. The only reason the Chargers won as because of messed up kicking by the Raiders. So you have the Titans, who aren’t too bad on the run defense and the Chargers who aren’t too great on the run. This is a toss up for me, but I’m taking the home team, Chargers to win.

Detroit at San Francisco -7.0 GAME OF THE WEEK!!
This is my game of the week because while winning over Green Bay was pretty impressive, the Niners need to do it two weeks in a row for me to really crown them the new kings of the NFC. The Packers looked like they hadn’t played football in a while, and if you think about it – their defense hasn’t. Their defense was coasting all year last year because of the offense. Well, the offense sputtered against the Niners and the defense wasn’t ready to step up. The Lions defense is always stepped up, at least for the last year. They have to be. Kevin Smith had a killer game last week, just tearing it up on the ground. I like this guy at RB. But the Niners defense is the bestest! He’ll have trouble finding the holes this week. I’d like to see the Lions make a game of it, but I think the Niners are just too damn good right now. Even Moss is scoring touchdowns. Niners at home.

Denver at Atlanta -3.5
I made a mistake last week picking the Chiefs to beat the Falcons. I don’t know what I was thinking. Matt Ryan is my starting fantasy QB. He had four fucking touchdowns. Four! You can’t bet against that. And now they get their first home game against the Denver Mannings? I dunno. I don’t know how I can pick against Manning. I mean, he played like he had just taken a week off to fold umbrellas or something. He hasn’t lost a step, ran the offense and took care of business against a high class defense. The Falcons defense is good, but I dunno if they are Manning good. This is going to be an offensive shootout. There has got to be some stat about Manning on Monday night, so I’m running with it. Denver to upset.

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Digital Dads NFL Pre-Game 2012: Week 1

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

The first column of the season is always the hardest to write. Once the preview columns are done, then it’s time to get to the week to week and this early, it’s hard to tell who is going to do what week to week. Can’t say that my first week record is very good. Of course, I’m not going to go back and add it up either. So just take my word for it.

If you’ve never read this column, it’s like this, I predict a winner for the upcoming games by looking at the previous week, babbling about my fantasy team and speculating on things I may have heard, read or made up. Frankly, the whole thing is a crap shoot. I generally end the season with around a 65% success rate, so if you are using this column for gambling purposes – you’re a moron. While that is a good pick percentage, chances are you have a gambling problem and are losing money anyway. I don’t want to be involved in your losses. Take your addiction somewhere else buddy.

I already picked last nights game earlier in the week, so I’m going to skip that one. Hell, when I wrote this the game hadn’t even been played yet. So, I’ll just say the [INSERT TEAM HERE] won. Go team!

Indianapolis at Chicago -9.0 UPSET SPECIAL!!
Yeah, I think I just gave away this pick. Look, I think Cutler and the Bears have been playing well the past couple seasons, but with Urlacher coming back from an injury and Forte getting his huge contract, I don’t think they are going to come out of the gate firing. The Colts looked great in preseason, and I know, it’s just preseason but I like this Luck kid and I think that he’s going to start off the season surprising the hell out of the Bears. Unlike Manning, Luck does pretty well in the outdoors and the weather is still nice in Chicago. If this were a later season game I might look at it a different way. As confident as I am, I’m starting Luck in all my fantasy leagues. Colts to upset on the road.

Philadelphia at Cleveland +6.5 CRAPFEST OF THE WEEK!
The Browns are terrible. While I’d love to predict a win for them at some point this season, I don’t see it happening. And now with Haden suspended for three games, their defense has taken a huge hit. The only positive in this game is hoping the Browns put some damage on Vick. They won’t be able to cover the receivers without Haden playing dirty out there in the secondary and their run defense is suspect. The Eagles are going to light them up in the air. If you have any Eagles players on your fantasy team, make sure you start them this week.

St. Louis at Detroit -9.0
The Rams are getting some hype right now, new coach, new system, new offensive plan. I’m not sold. I think Stephen Jackson will have a solid season, but I don’t think that Bradford will get hit any less. They still have problems on the lines and Detroit will exploit them, especially when the Lions are on defense. The Rams might make a contest out of it, but Stafford is a much more bon-a-fide QB than Bradford, and he’s proven it. The Lions are a team to no longer take lightly. Lions to win at home, with the points.

New England at Tennessee +7.0
What a test for Jake Locker right out of the gate, and Chris Johnson. The Patriots roll in, fresh off a Superbowl loss, looking to redeem themselves by making it back this year. Considering I predicted the Pats to go 16-0, clearly I can’t pick them to lose. This game will be interesting though, as we’ll see if the Pats defense has improved since last year, when they were absolutely terrible. An improved defense, with that offense, they’ll be unstoppable. I’m hoping that losing this game won’t destroy Jake Locker for the season. If you have Rob Bironas on your fantasy team – start him. Pats to win on the road.

Atlanta at Kansas City +1.0
I’m a bit surprised at this line. I guess the Chiefs gained a couple points by playing at home, and Atlanta dropped a couple not playing in the dome. The key to this game for the Chiefs is the running game. Can they get Johnson and Hillis past the Falcons front D-line? Probably. The Falcons aren’t the greatest on run defense. The Chiefs will have to press them on offense and press Ryan on defense. He’s got too many weapons to not pressure him out of the box on a regular basis. I’m taking the home team on this one though, just because of home team statistics during week one. Chiefs to win.

Jacksonville at Minnesota -4.5
The Jags are going to have a rough year. Even though MJD has shown up, it’s still a question of whether he is going to “show up”. It could go either way. Meanwhile the Vikings aren’t exactly playoff bound, but the Jags are a good opponent for young Ponder to show us that he’s been studying in the off season. Late game mistakes killed this kid last season, and I’m going to guess we’ll see a bit more maturity out of him this time around. I like the Vikings at home, just cause the Jags suck worse.

Washington at New Orleans -8.5
What a fun test for RGIII. Too bad he didn’t get the Bucs to start off the season. Instead he gets the lights out secondary of the Saints and his defense gets to get smoked by the Saints offense. The Saints are going to win this game, it’s just a question of by how much. I’m thinking by at least two touchdowns. The Skins need to take advantage of the Saints run defense, which isn’t all there thanks to suspensions. RGIII isn’t really a running QB though, but he’s got mobility. That should open up enough time to get a pass off. And unlike Vick, he can take a hit. Saints to win at home.

Buffalo at NY Jets -6.0
I read one column last night predicting the Bills to make the playoffs. Yeah, I’m not buying it. I like the Bills, but they don’t have the winning spirit, whatever that is. Chan Gailey just doesn’t take enough chances. The Jets are going to be fun to watch this year. How long before Sanchez makes a mistake and the crowd starts chanting for Tebow? Not long. I expect it by the third quarter of this game. Rex Ryan knows what he’s doing and he knows that Sanchez is not as electric as some think he is. I expect Tebow time to start early this year. Jets to win at home.

Miami at Houston -6.5
The Dolphins are coming in with a revamped defense, only because they have a new coordinator, and a rookie QB. Meanwhile, the Texans are without Mario Williams for the first time since he entered the league. How will this affect their defense this year? Against the Fins, shouldn’t change anything. We’ll have to wait until they play a strong offensive unit. Speaking of offense, Foster is going to shred the Dolphins on the ground. There is no doubt about that. I’m putting him at over 100 yards for this game for sure. Texans to win at home.

San Francisco at Green Bay -7.0 GAME OF THE WEEK!
This is a great match-up with playoff implications. As in, these teams will most likely see each other again in the playoffs. You have the best defense in the Niners against the best passing offense in the Packers, in my estimation. The Packers won’t be able to run against the Niners, but they’ll try. Alex Smith has some new weapons to play with on offense, while Rodgers is gunning with pretty much the same guys, which means he’s already got the cadence down pat. I’m taking the Packers to win at home, but this is going to be a back and forth affair with a chance that the Niners upset.

Seattle at Arizona +1.0
I guess it is too early in the season for me to not give a shit about the Cardinals. Actually, this whole division is just crap save for the Niners. An in-division match-up like this, it may as well be week 17 and both these teams are 6-9. The Hawks haven’t been the same since letting Hasselbeck leave, even though he had at least a year left in him as a starter, as he proved in Tennessee. The Cardinals are starting Skelton over Kolb, who cares? Both of these guys will be floating around the league as backups after this season for the rest of their careers. Meh. Cardinals to win just cause they are home.

Carolina at Tampa Bay +3.0
As with the Cardinals, it’s too early for me not to give a shit about the Bucs. I don’t think they will do as well as some people (mostly people here in Tampa) seem to think they will do. I think they are going to suck hard nuts. This first game will be a huge indicator for that. Will they be able to put the brakes on Cam Newton as they were unable to do last year? I highly doubt it. Newton is a fucking pro. That kid can run, jump and pass. The Bucs won’t be able to defend him – again. They might be able to contain him a bit. And I don’t even know about the Bucs offense. I can see them forcing the ball to Jackson just cause of the price they paid. Panthers to win on the road.

Pittsburgh at Denver -1.5
Without Tebow, this doesn’t seem like much of a rematch. Without Tebow, but with Manning, the Broncos are favored in this game. The Steelers don’t perform well in Denver, that much is clear. Regardless, the match-up of the Denver Mannings vs. the Steelers defense is going to be a good one. This, like many games, is an early test for the QB. If there is one team that is going to bring the pressure and the hits, it’s going to be the Steelers. For that reason, and that I don’t think Manning has got his system in place 100% just yet, I’m taking the Steelers to win.

Cincinnati at Baltimore -7.0
Most pundits, including me, are saying that A.J. Green is going to be one of the premier receivers in the league this year. Go ahead and dispute that. The Dalton to Green connection is hot and will lead the Bengals to more than a few wins. But this week, they travel to Baltimore and the Ravens lights out defense. The Ravens are one team that I can say has a really good secondary backed by a pretty good offense. The Ravens are playoff bound and are going to start the season off by roughing up the Bengals a bit. Don’t expect the Bengals to sit this one out though, they’ll be in the game. Ravens to win at home.

San Diego at Oakland -1.0
And finally we come to the Raiders. While I have them winning a few games, it’s going to be awhile before they get on any kind of track. This season is the last chance for Norv Turner with the Chargers, and maybe for Rivers as well. They have got to make something happen with this team. Starting off with a road win in the black hole will bode well for them. Plus, the Chargers generally get off to a hot start. Chargers to win on the road.

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