Last week we took a look at the AFC in preparation for the upcoming season, this week I took a couple minutes out of my day contemplating which college football games to watch to make some equally wild NFC predictions. Yes, I am aware the win/loss math might not add up, but you get the picture. Frankly, I could have fixed it but I was having problems opening Excel, nah, that’s a lie. Just lazy is all. Anyway, here are my NFC predictions for 2010. Enjoy.
NFC North
Chicago Bears Last Season: 7-9 I will hereby refer to the Bears at the Bucs of the North. Because they too, will suck. Really, this is all it took for me to see that this team does not have it’s shit straight. Coach Lovie Smith says Devin Hester won’t return kickoffs. Are you kidding? The one highlight on this formerly great franchise isn’t being allowed to do what he does best. Hester makes a mediocre receiver at best, but a game changing and dynamic kick returner. Now, Smith could be just trying to not show his hand on this, but we’ll find out week one I suppose. With Hester returning kicks, the Bears could be unpredictably good. Without? Boring and unispired. Predicted Finish: 8-8
Green Bay Packers Last Season: 11-5 Aaron Rodgers came out from under the shadown of Favre and it was good. Even though they bit it in the playoffs last year, the Packers had a lot going for them on offense and the defense just keeps getting better. Rodgers will be the caliber quarterback that he looks like, even with the beard. The Packers will go deep into the playoffs this year and I’m actually predicting them to go all the way to the Superbowl. Predicted Finish: 14-2
Minnesota Vikings Last Season: 12-4 Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. Favre. And they’ll lose twice to the Packers. Predicted Finish: 12-4
Detroit Lions Last Season: 2-14 Two words. Ndamukong Suh. The Lions have had the worst defense in the league for three straight years. Perhaps Suh can change that. Stafford is looking like a real live NFL quarterback. However, this is still the Detroit Lions and they have a perrineal habit of losing. Ah, what the hell, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say Suh gives them an extra win just from bostlering the defense just a little bit. Predicted Finish: 3-13
NFC East
New York Giants Last Season: 8-8 Tom Coughlin needs to go. Since his Superbowl win, he’s slowly been losing control of the team. It’s this odd thing, but the Giants constantly seem stressed out. Eli Manning doesn’t have the composure that his older brother has, it seems like he’s always frustrated at his offensive line or at the slumping defensive line. The success of this team rests on how well they do in the division, as it does for all of the East. With McNabb still around, the Cowboys offense and well, the Eagles existing, this could be a rough year for the Giants. Predicted Finish: 7-9
Dallas Cowboys Last Season: 11-5 This is a tought team to call. Wade Phillips is a good coordinator, but he tends to fall apart in the playoffs. I know he’s the head coach, but still. Whiner Patrick Crayton is gone, thankfully, which means that Miles Austin will be the star receiver in Dallas. The Romo to Austin connection will be frequent, but not as frequent as that Romo to Whitten connection. The real question with the Cowboys is once they get to the playoffs, can they keep their shit together? I think this is going to be an exciting team to watch this year, but fans could be setting themselves up for another letdown. Especially in this division, which tends to be tough on itself. Predicted Finish: 12-4
Philadephia Eagles Last Season: 11-5 Hey, it’s Kevin Kolb! The Eagles were the Cowboys bitch last year, losing a record three times to Dallas. How in the hell this team made the playoffs I have no idea. Oh yeah, with the running of McNabb and Westbrook. While McNabb will be scrambling on almost every play in Washington, Westbrook is no longer part of the Eagles franchise. Could Andy Reid not see past the lunch buffet to realize that this team needs the strong ground attack skills of both McNabb and Westbrook? Kolb is a drop back passer, that puts a lot more pressure on the offensive line that caused McNabb to run for his life so many times. Hey, at least they have Michael Vick. Predicted Finish: 8-8
Washington Redskins Last Season: 4-12 I’d like to start with a quote from my 2004 pre-season preview, “As long as Snyder is in the house, the Skins’ will not see the playoffs except for on television.” I still hold this statement to be true, no matter how good this team might look on paper, no matter how many upsets they can pull off against Dallas, with Snyder running the show they will be a terrible franchise. Constant coach turnover, constant coordinator turnover, I’m surprised McNabb signed there. Donovan McNabb will have to play his former team twice this year, and he’ll be lucky if they can carry him away from those games in one piece. Another player fighting retirement, McNabb is in for a rude awakening. Welcome to the land of no pocket protection Donovan. Predicted Finish: 3-13
NFC South
Tampa Bay Buccaneers Last Season: 3-13 There isn’t much to say about the Suckaneers, as they are affectionatly referred to in my home area of Tampa Bay. Since their Superbowl run this team has steadily declined, losing Monte Kiffen in the middle of the season was the last crack in their already fragile spine. Two young quarterbacks, an even younger coach and highly questionable running backs and wide receivers. I’m sure Kellen Winslow is loving his decision now. That was sarcasm. The Bucs suck and will suck. The only reason I’m giving them four wins is because they play the Browns. Predicted Finish: 4-12
Carolina Panthers Last Season: 8-8 Any Cats fans out there? No? Finally ditching Delhomme for Matt Moore seemed to be a good call last year for the Panthers. Picking up Clausen in the draft was also a good call because after all, this is the NFC south. Collar bones will be broken. The strong point with this team has always been their ground attack, expect more of the same this year. I’m talking to you defensive coordinators out there. The NFC South plays the AFC North this year in cross conference play, so this should be interesting because all three AFC North teams have strong run defenses (save for the Browns, who suck.) I don’t see the Panthers overcoming the defenses they’ll be up against to do better than last year. Predicted Finish: 8-8
New Orleans Saints Last Season: 13-3 I would love to say that Drew Brees and the high flying Saints offense will be back on top this year, headed straight back to the Superbowl. I think they playoffs are in their future, but knowing what we know – that’s a stretch. So what is it that we know? Well, Drew Brees graced the cover of Madden 11. We all know about the Madden curse? Right? Yeah, I know that’s some serious voodoo, but Brees is doomed. Aside from all that, the offense hasn’t changed much since last year, so the playoffs should be a lock as long as Brees can fight the curse. Predicted Finish: 12-4
Atlanta Falcons Last Season: 9-7 The Falcons are no longer a team to be ignored. Finishing the season by beating the Jets, the addition of Michael Turner last year seemed to help the ground game. Matt Ryan is on his way to becoming a great quarterback. However, this is a tough division to be in this year, as the other teams are heavy on the defensive end of things and Atlanta’s defense, not looking too fantastic. However, the only offensive minded team they have to worry about is the Saints, and we already know why they are doomed. Predicted Finish: 12-4
NFC West
Seattle Seahawks Last Season: 5-11 Am I the only one that thinks Matt Hasselbeck is just looking tired? Tired of playing for a team that lost to the Steelers in the Superbowl and hasn’t seemed to recover? Tired of playing in the rain, tired of throwing interceptions and just plain tired. How is this guy still playing? Is he on Zoloft or something? And now stuck with Pete Carroll hopping off the USC train to go back and take another shot at the NFL? And dealing with the loss of T.J. Houshmanzada? Ouch. Too many questions with this team, I predict doom. Predicted Finish: 6-10
San Francisco 49′ers Last Season: 8-8 Mike Singletary didn’t do half bad last year. A lot of times ex-players as coaches tend to bomb. However, Singletary didn’t take crap from anyone and pushed his team to perform. Frank Gore is damn fun to watch and Alex Smith looked like a bonafide NFL Quarterback. Sadly, there was one player Singletary rolled over for, Michael Crabtree. Without Crabtree, before giving into his ridiculous salary demands, the Niners were 8-5. After signing Crabtree, 5-7. Bad mojo abounds. Thankfully, being in the single worst division in football kind of helps. Predicted Finish: 9-7
Arizona Cardinals Last Season: 10-6 Matt Leinart will finally be getting the start over the now retired Kurt Warner. Wait, the Cardinals dumped Leinart? Really? Ok, so Derek Andersen will get the start after being shedded like dead skin from the Browns roster. Gone from the Cardinals are Antrel Rolle, Karlos Dansby and Anquan Boldin. Ken Whisenhunt is still there though, and he’s managed to turn this franchise around from the laughing stock they used to be. It all comes down to quarterback protection and clock management, something the Cardinals struggled with in the playoffs last year. If not for being in the worst division currently in football, playoffs wouldn’t be in their future. Predicted Finish: 11-5
St. Louis Rams Last Season: 1-15 Who cares? Sam Bradford cries himself to sleep every night. Predicted Finish: 2-14
So, if you missed it, my rundown for the playoffs:
NFC North: Packers
NFC East: Cowboys
NFC West: Cardinals
NFC South: Falcons
Wild Cards: Vikings, Saints
Stay tuned on Thursday for NFL Week One Predictions!














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