Posts About ‘Sons’

A New Tale Begins

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Few things are amazing as that feeling when you first hold your new child. Anyone who is not a parent can not fully appreciate how huge of a moment that is.

This morning our very own Clarence Smith Jr. welcomed his first son into the world. True Iyall Smith entered the world this morning weighing in at a solid 6lbs 2.7oz and 19″ in length.

With a powerful name like that, this kid is going to go places. Never mind the fact that with the awesomely unique parents he has, he won’t have a choice. *grin*

I was fortunate enough to have Clarence over to the house on Friday night and we both knew that it was going to be the last time I saw him before he became a Dad and we talked about the variety of emotions, fears and joys that lay ahead. We’ve become really close friends in the time we’ve known each other and it made my day to call him this morning as soon as he texted me the news.

Clarence won’t be online much for the next little while for obvious reasons, but please be sure to leave your congrats here or on Flickr because I know he will be reading them.

There is nothing in the world like a new baby. Clarence, you’ve just started on life’s best journey. Enjoy every moment of it!

Olympic Reflections

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Living in downtown Vancouver, the anticipation of the Olympics was incredibly palpable, knowing that thousands and thousands of people were arriving, and the rest of the world would be watching.

Since receiving the ok to host the Olympics, Vancouver has been in immediate action, spending billions of dollars building new sites, transportation options, and renovating city streets, which have all been in continual upheaval up to the very last moment and into the opening ceremonies. That the final run included the dodging of protesters aiming to extinguish the flame was no accident, because life is full of such people, but Canada’s sports hero arrived at the cauldron, and the Olympic cauldron was lit, finalizing our preparations, propelling us forward into the games.

A burning fire in the midst of darkness and upheaval, at that moment I felt it represented hope, triumph to the indomitable victor, and a call for the best of the human spirit to come forward – in many respects, it burns for us all. The following day, my partner and I took a proud stroll along the Vancouver waterfront with my son to enjoy the view of the magnificent cauldron under sunny skies, but when we approached the cauldron we were struck with disbelief and tremendous sadness to see cement barriers and a tall chain link fence surrounding the cauldron and keeping the public nearly a hundred feet away.

Being held back by the fence was an awakening, one of those moments where your past, present, and future collide, because the old grey fence holding us back from approaching the beautiful new and vibrant burning cauldron was a moment of regret, and a reminder of my youthful dreams that are now forever out of reach.

I recalled my memories as a youth, growing up in San Diego, watching the Olympics on television and dreaming of being one of those guys on a bob sled swooshing through the ice rollercoaster, or leaping off the mountain side ramp into the sky blue and landing tenderly on white cheering snow. I imagined that no one could hold me back; no one could hold back my dreams. Since then, I became stronger, more agile and more involved in wrestling and football, but no sports that ever introduced me to the snow. Then came graduation, work, relationships, a son, and grey hair.

Yes, that moment behind the fence was a reminder of lost opportunities, a forever fleeting youth, as well a reminder that the future may be uncertain but what is certain is the present now. Now is the time to pass the torch of dreams to my son, and I’ll be the barrier, the chain link fence, that holds back the protesters and keeps his world intact as he develops into a young man with is own burning cauldron of dreams.

The end of the Olympics is soon approaching. Olympians are called daily to perform at their best, on the spot, in the now, and all of this will be over by next week.

So here am I, with my son, and my moment to present my best to him is now. I don’t know if he’ll be a future Olympian, but I just signed him up today for ice skating lessons. He’d prefer speed skates (and, secretly, so would I), but he’ll still be happy for simply being given the opportunity, the experience. Our anticipation for the first lesson begins, and our schedules will be in a bit of an upheaval, yet we’re excited and proud. There won’t be thousands of people at this event, or people telling him ‘no,’ but there will be me and my partner that will show up and cheer him on.

Looking at his indomitable smile, you’d think he’s won gold already, and in many respects he has.

Wow

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Chance & HenryHoly Moly, I did it!

Wait, she did it. But, hey so did I! Wait, WE did it!

*This is a long article; plan your life accordingly* (more…)

Days Never Finished

Monday, February 1st, 2010

To say that I’ve been busy is an understatement.  In the past month I have painted my son’s room, built his crib, assembled the custom rocking chair, and put together his transforming-hotrod-stroller.  Adding room to grow in the basement, I had our entire storage unit custom-fitted with shelving.  For peace of mind I had a home security system installed.

(Photo Credit: Wools)

All that and I am still not done.

Before I am through, I will have to make a decision about which of our health insurance plans to choose, which pediatrician to entrust our son, decide on a nanny or daycare — including interviews or enrollment, and purchase a new bed with storage built-in to hold [my] clothes.

If I procrastinate too long I will also have to file taxes, brain-fried and all — two-weeks after he is born.

Why mention any of this?  Despite everything I have to get done, I am truly excited about the day my son will be born.  I embrace each of these tasks with the understanding that every move I make now, will have an impact on his life from the moment he arrives.  I have been responsible for other peoples lives before, but not nearly as much as I will be — beginning this Spring.

It is an awesome and naturally overwhelming thing to be aware of.  But I am not afraid.

That is not the case for everyone.  So, my question is simple —  what is there to be afraid of?  I ask because there seems to be an unspoken and understood sentiment amongst fathers that we should somehow be afraid.  Is this the reason a lot of people have declared your life is over and you are not ready or the often heard forget about having any fun?

I have heard a lot of advice in the past 7-months; most of which I turn a deaf ear towards, because I am not them and vice-versa; and I am not convinced that any of the fear mongering I’ve heard actually makes sense.

Many seem to be confused about which way is up.  Maybe I am being naive — or maybe fathers share this sentiment because they weren’t ready to begin with?  In my opinion, fear should not enter into the picture where our children are concerned.  If we are afraid of life, won’t our children also learn to be?

Are You Ready for Seconds?

Friday, April 17th, 2009

When my wife Kerry and I first seriously thought about starting a family, we always thought that “two” sounded like a good number of kids to have.

Our first son, Jack, changed our lives and the lives of those closest to us. Our schedules, our plans, and our priorities were now different, and as a family of three, we were blissfully happy. By the time he got to be a year and a half old, Kerry and I thought then would be the time to try for Number Two. We considered their ages – “yeah, 2 or so years between them sounds ideal” – and before you could say “epidural,” Max had arrived.

The Gorgone Boys

We were ready for Max. The pregnancy was certainly different than the first, but the expectation and excitement was the same. And we had thought it all through: were we, the parents, ready to assume the responsibility of another baby? My goodness, we could not wait, and we knew we had enough love in our hearts for two or for a dozen of our babies.

But was our first son, Jack, ready?

As a two year old toddler, we assumed Jack would continue to just do his own thing, play with his Thomas trains, watch his Mickey Mouse shows, and be the same ol’ happy Jack we had known all his life, most likely oblivious to the arrival of another mouth to feed.

But, it was not long after Max came home that Jack changed. He seemed to not sleep well; the newborn’s room was next to his, so would certainly contribute. But, more than this, Jack almost seemed depressed. Kerry and I both noticed this. Jack just didn’t have that brightness in him that he seemed to always have. He seemed… worried? Confused? Perhaps he wondered if his place in the family was in jeopardy, or if he was being replaced. In fact, he asked a few days later when the baby would be going back to the hospital.

When I was a first time dad, I struggled at times when Jack was a newborn. The fact that newborns don’t smile or give you any sort of “feedback” for months really bothered me; I didn’t realize that a pair of arms to hold him or gentle kisses were really ALL he needed until he was ready to communicate. Once I got Jack to smile, fatherhood really became a wonderful thing, so it pained me to see Jack unhappy when Max came along. It was then that I realized Jack was in the same place I was with him: he loved but didn’t fully understand the baby. Time was all we both needed to figure things out.

When Max did begin to smile – and, boy, does he love to smile – Jack began to really smile again too. Today, Max is almost 10 months old, and Jack loves to make him laugh and smile every day. We can see it really gives him joy.

I always knew there was a lot of me in Jack, but perhaps there’s even more than I realize.