Circumcision, circumlocutious, and loquacious punditocracies is what I hear in the subtext when someone asks, “So are you going to circumcise your son?” Of course, the big words are fun and I dare anyone to try to say the title fast without a slip up – kinda hard, which brings me back to the subject at hand: the penile foreskin (the male prepuce).

Alright, let me start by sharing that this was my first experience of prejudice. It was 1981, 6th grade camp, and the parents of one of my classmates had arrived early morning after the first night. Apparently, my classmate didn’t want to shower with the rest of the boys because he was embarrassed that he was uncircumcised. The issue made no sense to me at the time, until I got to secondary school (Jr. High) and heard and saw all the bantering, bullying, and humiliation going on in the showers from the majority (circumcised) against the minority (uncircumcised). Again, too young to understand except to not hang around in the showers, and so I figured this was a terrible school issue – but who cares?

Well, apparently, most everyone does care and has an opinion on the matter! My “full circle” Oprah moment happened when someone asked me, “So are you going to circumcise your son?” That question then morphed into the, “So did you circumcise your son?” This question is laden with instant peer pressure, politics and personal preferences, all the makings of prejudice and none of which had any interest or concern for what my son might want. Well I did make my ruling as to whether my son would wear a turtle neck, V-neck, or perhaps a tailored crew neck. However, it’s no one’s business, but I marvel as to how the matter of the foreskin keeps coming up.

I just saw a daytime show which exhibited a few doctors, and the female doctor was advocating for circumcision. She was over the top about her opinion. A male doctor was advocating how unnecessary circumcision was, and he was promptly cut off by her. He tried to chime in again, but a different male doctor gave him a look of disgust, and so the conversation was over. It was horrible high school peer pressure again (sigh).

Still, women have preferences as to what they want and they do express them. Men have preferences too, but I think men are more concerned by the shame factor. At the men’s urinals, there is this constant shuffling which has something to do with privacy and embarrassment (I think), or perhaps a post-school-traumatic-foreskin-humiliation effect.

Now, let me clarify my earlier overgeneralization by saying that “everyone” in the U.S. has an opinion on the matter. While the rest of the world couldn’t care less about their foreskin (excepting religious or medical concerns), it is in the U.S. where there are very strong anti and pro circumcision groups, as well as foreskin restoration groups. Yes, I did say foreskin restoration, and I’m not talking about the cosmetic surgery type. With foreskin restoration, people wrap their penis with surgical tape and pull the skin using weights, suspenders or other devices – and with great success! While the 20,000-70,000 nerve endings that were lopped off with the original foreskin may not return, sensitivity and lubrication does increase. For aging men, extra sensitivity would not be a bad thing to have.

So, why does it matter so much for Americans? I don’t know but let me do a quick flash of stats. In the U.S., most men are circumcised – or at least in 1985 that would have been the case. Back then, someone did a study that did spot checks and found that 77% to 98% percent of baby boys were being circumcised – so my classmate was part of that minority. Presently, according to the New York Times, the rates have since dropped to 32.5% in 2009. This has been largely due to American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations of “risk to benefit” health concerns, perhaps also some insurances not willing to pay for the procedure and/or just American politics. This just doesn’t seem to be in issue for the rest of the world.

In Canada, for example, circumcision is not covered by health care except for medical reason. There is no need for it, which is why the Canadian Paediatric Society has recommended against routine circumcision, and the rates have also gone down from nearly 40,000 in 1996 to less than 20,000 in 2005. While these numbers may sound like a lot, consider that there are over 30 million people in Canada. Whether one is circumcised or not, just isn’t a political issue.

So after all this circumlocutious, regarding the loquacious punditocracies out there, I propose we get past the circumcision rhetoric, and also stop using the terms “circumcised” and “uncircumcised” because it’s pejorative. Or if you’re feeling vengeful, then use “foreskin” and “foreskinless,” or “pen-glan-sensational” and “pen-glan-senseless.” Personally, I say…