Maybe it is because one of my favorite shows on television is Sons of Anarchy or maybe it is something inside every man that fills them with an urge to learn to ride a motorcycle.

Sure, I’ve ridden on the back of a couple when I was younger and even crashed a brand new dirt bike at my buddy’s birthday party when we were young. But, I’ve never had the pleasure of channeling my inner Easy Rider and hitting the open road on a motorcycle.

No, I’m not going through a midlife crisis or anything like that and yes I know that motorcycles are very dangerous when you put them out there agains the soccer moms and idiot teenagers on phones in their cars who are not paying attention to the road. But, still someday I hope to at least learn to ride a motorcycle and Harley-Davidson’s new campaign called The Ridebook is fueling that desire again.

As you can see, the site just launched and there is only one piece of the story live and that is a cool video of Tomcats Barbershop in Brooklyn, NY. Click over and watch it and I promise you’ll be inspired because it is beautifully shot and told. The content lover in me applauds Harley for doing this because it is exactly the sort of thing I encourage businesses to do in my book Content Rules.

As you watch the video think about how unbranded it is, but at the same time completely fits the vibe of Harley-Davidson perfectly. They aren’t spokes people for the brand. They are guys who love the bikes and want others to love the brand. Their passion is what gets me wanting to ride, not some sales pitch like most companies force feed us these days.

I’m very curious to see where this site goes in the coming weeks since they are teasing some other great content. I’m especially excited about the ones about music and travel since they are both passions of mine as well. I’m hoping that they don’t make me wait too long for the news ones because they’ve certainly got my attention now and if they wait to long they might lose it.

Kudos to the team at Harley-Davidson that made this happen. I may not jump on a hog anytime soon, but I can imagine I am through The Ridebook.

Related posts:

1. Digital Dads Watch / September 2, 2011

As parents, we’ve clearly failed because my son is heterosexual. You know that one guy who is annoyingly loud, yelling out player stats, team standing, and gets other men to question their testosterone when he gives out a full holler every time the home team scores? That’s my 8-year old son.

Here we are as two proud gay parents trying to enjoy our New Orleans sea food risotto, while our boy is engaging full stock men from other tables into what’s going on with the Vancouver Canucks hockey game. Admittedly, we don’t approve of the game because it seems more like a professional fight spectacle. I’m also one who’d much rather play than watch. Still, here we were with our own little spectacle at our table, and I’m thinking about what did we do so wrong that made him turn into such a big hetero. For that matter, what is hetero and what is a real man anyway?

In my opinion, masculine identity is a social construct, similar to an old Buick. There was the traditional man, the hegemonic icon that was once captured by the likes of Humphrey Bogart. The learned decision maker, integrally loyal to self, family, and community, and the meaning of life was patriarchy – enforced through religion and culture.

However, there came a time when women didn’t need or want these traditional men anymore. Due to war demands that raised women’s capabilities, the sexual revolution, women’s rights, the feminist movement, and legal updates, men lost their significance and purpose. Furthermore, men were disappointing because their traditional identity pride became embattled and bruised, and they made hopeless promises in attempting to uphold the traditional male icon and not ask for help while their postwar emotional ruptures landed them on bended knee. Here were the traditional men, having once held unearned privilege and status by just being men, now being crippled by their weakness in emotional expression and self-confidence. In man’s emotional constipation, anger appeared to be the only acceptable expression through physical force or grunts, while women took responsibility over dead-beat-dads

So what then is a real man? It isn’t about hetero or homosexual identity. Perhaps it’s the man with the strongest sense – the ones most fully accepting of themselves and pulling their weight in personal responsibilities regarding: self, sexual health, relationship, community connections and work. This is akin to dropping the bottle of shame, and challenging the myths of what it means to be a man. This means unabashedly seeking mental health support when one needs it, seeking a doctor when it’s time for the checks of prostate or colon cancer, verbalizing being pissed off to the spouse in a way that’s respectful and encouraging, and teaching young boys that real men DO cry at times. Perhaps this is a call to blow the whistle on the shame that the disfigured traditional man has left as an inheritance, and a time to be our own real men, accepting ourselves as we are.

As for my son, it looks like he’s on his way to becoming a real man. I don’t like hockey but I figure it’s best to support my son’s interest. Considering how he woos women, plays sports, and takes on challenges, I’m quite confident that this one will be playing for the hetero team – and that’s the way it’s going to be. GO CANUCKS!

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Last week I was given the opportunity to attend the New York Auto Show. I might not be much of a car guy, but I had a blast being able to walk around and take photos of everything without it being swarmed by people. Ahh, the joys of a press pass.

My friends at Ford and Sony asked the Cast of Dads if we could all get together in Boston and then drive 2011 Ford Explorer to NYC to attend a concert/party with Train (photos) and then spend a day with press access covering the show. Schedules prevented all five of us from going but those of us who could go did. It was a lot of fun. Plus, since they were going to pay for the trip, how could we say no?

I took a ton of photos during the trip and the first pieces of video content we produced have now hit the web and I wanted to share them with you.

The first was an episode of Cast of Dads that the editing team at DadLabs cut down to a nice five minute discussion of the change in family road trips since we were younger. Technology definitely changes it and we discuss the good and the bad.

The other was a personal highlight for me was getting a chance to sit down with my buddy Sukhjit Ghag from Sony over coffee. We talked about a bunch of different things and of course since we are all geeks a lot of the chat was about technology in our lives.

In the coming weeks there will be lots more content that will be posted so stay tuned.

Disclosure: Ford & Sony covered travel expenses and gave us press access to the auto show. We were provided with a Ford vehicle to drive from Boston to New York. All thoughts, words and anything else we say is totally our own opinions.

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1. Sony Dads
2. 100 Faces
3. Digital Dads at NAIAS in Detroit

Me In My Place takess my love of photography and of women and merges them together in an ongoing photo project that I’m now a huge fan of. Think of it as a safer for work version of Suicide Girls with less body art.

I’ve always said that the sexiest thing a woman can wear is her confidence. That shines through in these photos of women who volunteer to be part of the series and agree to have themselves shot in their own clothes, with their own poses in their own houses. Everything about this screams confidence and I love it.

The photographer is a famous fashion photographer who has chosen to remain nameless. Esquire Magazine (where I learned of this project) has hired him to do photo series specifically for them which is another great success story of doing something your passionate about and doing it well and people will notice.

As a guy, I still think that lingerie is over rated. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never say no to it and there is nothing on this earth sexier then a garter belt and thigh high stockings, but I still think the sexiest thing out there is a woman in just a men’s dress shirt or whatever makes her comfortable and makes HER feel sexy. Leather or lace can be a lot of fun, but it is not necessary.

I  like that every girl on this site volunteers for it. They have a submission form where anyone can raise their hand. I’m hoping this brings in a variety of different sizes, shapes and colors of women because so far it does seem like one standard profile for the most part. I also get a big kick out of some of the crazy poses the women pick and seeing them in their own houses makes for extremely interesting backdrops. (yes, I really did look beyond just the women)

Plus, these women in my mind are not barbie dolls or airbrushed to perfection. They are naturally beautiful women comfortable in their own skin. Why not show some of it off in playful, yet sexy, photos?

There is now a video page up that is random and you never know what will appear. Their archives is one of the coolest layouts I’ve ever seen and I hope they don’t mind me taking a screen shot of it to use with this story.

Kudos to the mystery mastermind behind this project and to all the women who have taken part in the project.

Guys, am I right that simple sexiness is a great thing?

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It is amazing to me that the moment you say the word Dad, Father or Pops, you are instantly put into an interest bucket with all the Moms and Mothers. This means that all the lazy agencies of the world start pitching you on the same things they pitch them on.

You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll say it again. We treat this website as a site for guys to talk about men’s issues and topics. Sure, we talk about parenting and almost all of our writers are parents. We LOVE being Dads, but here we want to write about other things that reach beyond just our kids as well.

Something has bothered me a bit lately and that is the state of manhood out there. I think all the time in front of our computers and playing video games has made us a bit soft.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a photo of a naked woman (or man), having a cold beer on any weekday afternoon and screaming out loud at a sporting event. I love to crank the tunes, drive fast and experience everything that life wants to give to me. I enjoy talking about sex and like having it even better. I’m not all that handy with tools, but the idea of building things and fixing up my house excites me. Tequila, scotch or wine all make me happy depending on the mood.

I bet most of you guys out there share similar thoughts. Yet, why do so many of us (me including) fear expressing this openly in today’s world? Sure, the political correctness bullshit has certainly put a damper on our fire and the anonymous nature of the web makes us try to always maintain a certain level approach in what we say and share.

But, does this mean that we should be ashamed to be men? Hell no!

I got thinking about this as I was talking to some friends recently and realized that while we’d have the conversation face-to-face, I bet that none of us would be willing to have it online due to the flack we’d get. The more I thought about that, the more I realized how much that sucked.

My rule with Digital Dads is this is where a Dad can be a guy and I plan on keeping it that way. Don’t ever worry about being a man here please.

Photo Credit: Valeria Maltoni

Related posts:

1. Founders Note – February 2011
2. Digital Dads Collection / April 19th, 2011
3. Digital Dads Watch / April 1st, 2011

Alright, let me start by sharing that this was my first experience of prejudice. It was 1981, 6th grade camp, and the parents of one of my classmates had arrived early morning after the first night. Apparently, my classmate didn’t want to shower with the rest of the boys because he was embarrassed that he was uncircumcised. The issue made no sense to me at the time, until I got to secondary school (Jr. High) and heard and saw all the bantering, bullying, and humiliation going on in the showers from the majority (circumcised) against the minority (uncircumcised). Again, too young to understand except to not hang around in the showers, and so I figured this was a terrible school issue – but who cares?

Well, apparently, most everyone does care and has an opinion on the matter! My “full circle” Oprah moment happened when someone asked me, “So are you going to circumcise your son?” That question then morphed into the, “So did you circumcise your son?” This question is laden with instant peer pressure, politics and personal preferences, all the makings of prejudice and none of which had any interest or concern for what my son might want. Well I did make my ruling as to whether my son would wear a turtle neck, V-neck, or perhaps a tailored crew neck. However, it’s no one’s business, but I marvel as to how the matter of the foreskin keeps coming up.

I just saw a daytime show which exhibited a few doctors, and the female doctor was advocating for circumcision. She was over the top about her opinion. A male doctor was advocating how unnecessary circumcision was, and he was promptly cut off by her. He tried to chime in again, but a different male doctor gave him a look of disgust, and so the conversation was over. It was horrible high school peer pressure again (sigh).

Still, women have preferences as to what they want and they do express them. Men have preferences too, but I think men are more concerned by the shame factor. At the men’s urinals, there is this constant shuffling which has something to do with privacy and embarrassment (I think), or perhaps a post-school-traumatic-foreskin-humiliation effect.

Now, let me clarify my earlier overgeneralization by saying that “everyone” in the U.S. has an opinion on the matter. While the rest of the world couldn’t care less about their foreskin (excepting religious or medical concerns), it is in the U.S. where there are very strong anti and pro circumcision groups, as well as foreskin restoration groups. Yes, I did say foreskin restoration, and I’m not talking about the cosmetic surgery type. With foreskin restoration, people wrap their penis with surgical tape and pull the skin using weights, suspenders or other devices – and with great success! While the 20,000-70,000 nerve endings that were lopped off with the original foreskin may not return, sensitivity and lubrication does increase. For aging men, extra sensitivity would not be a bad thing to have.

So, why does it matter so much for Americans? I don’t know but let me do a quick flash of stats. In the U.S., most men are circumcised – or at least in 1985 that would have been the case. Back then, someone did a study that did spot checks and found that 77% to 98% percent of baby boys were being circumcised – so my classmate was part of that minority. Presently, according to the New York Times, the rates have since dropped to 32.5% in 2009. This has been largely due to American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations of “risk to benefit” health concerns, perhaps also some insurances not willing to pay for the procedure and/or just American politics. This just doesn’t seem to be in issue for the rest of the world.

In Canada, for example, circumcision is not covered by health care except for medical reason. There is no need for it, which is why the Canadian Paediatric Society has recommended against routine circumcision, and the rates have also gone down from nearly 40,000 in 1996 to less than 20,000 in 2005. While these numbers may sound like a lot, consider that there are over 30 million people in Canada. Whether one is circumcised or not, just isn’t a political issue.

So after all this circumlocutious, regarding the loquacious punditocracies out there, I propose we get past the circumcision rhetoric, and also stop using the terms “circumcised” and “uncircumcised” because it’s pejorative. Or if you’re feeling vengeful, then use “foreskin” and “foreskinless,” or “pen-glan-sensational” and “pen-glan-senseless.” Personally, I say…

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Movember is a global event that raises awareness and money to fight the cancers that directly effect men. Since we are dedicated to talking about everything guy related of course we’d be covering Movember.

They put together a great series of videos to raise awareness. More on the Movember YouTube Channel.

Now, if you are a guy and your thinking that you can’t grow a mustache right now for any reason, I’m here to tell you that all of them are wrong. I do a lot speaking and business meetings and while it is weird to walk into either with a mustache it is the perfect conversation starter and when you say that you are doing it to fight cancer everyone pays attention. My wife is not a big fan of facial hair, but she knows that it is for a good cause and supports it. (But, she loves when December arrives and I shave even more.)

This year, I’m part of Team Boston and I personally want to raise at least $5,000 in donations from individuals and corporations. I know money can be tough, but honestly every dollar helps so please donate today and then encourage others to do so. I’ve set up a handy URL of http://www.helpingthecause.com which goes directly to my donation page. Feel free to share it far and wide.

I don’t know if we’ll see a cure for cancer in my life time, but I’m hopeful that cures are on the way and I know that fund raising events like Movember are helping to make that happen.

So guys. Consider growing a Mo to help save a Bro! It is only 30 days and I know you can do it.

Related posts:

1. Happy Movember
2. Movember

The film follows a platoon from U.S. Army’s 173rd Airborne Brigade while deployed to an outpost in Afghanistan’s Korengal Valley, Kunar Province, Afghanistan from 2007 to 2008.  The name of the outpost and title of the film come from the platoon’s fallen medic PFC Juan Restrepo.

(Outpost (“OP”) Restrepo. Korengal Valley, Kunar Province, Afghanistan. 2008. A film still from the documentary RESTREPO by Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger. Image © Outpost Films)

The film is not political, nor does it take a stand on the U.S. military or military service in general.  The purpose appears to be to give a raw human view of this kind of combat deployment, including the associated highs and lows.  The experience is visually stunning, intimate and very human as you see a one-year combat deployment digested into 90 minutes.  It’s very well done.

From the film’s website, its directors Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger state:  “The war in Afghanistan has become highly politicized, but soldiers rarely take part in that discussion. Our intention was to capture the experience of combat, boredom and fear through the eyes of the soldiers themselves. Their lives were our lives: we did not sit down with their families, we did not interview Afghans, we did not explore geopolitical debates. Soldiers are living and fighting and dying at remote outposts in Afghanistan in conditions that few Americans back home can imagine. Their experiences are important to understand, regardless of one’s political beliefs. Beliefs are a way to avoid looking at reality. This is reality.”

(RESTREPO filmmakers Sebastian Junger (l.) and Tim Hetherington (r.) at Outpost Restrepo. Korengal Valley, Afghanistan, Kunar Province. 2007. Photograph © Tim Hetherington)

What about your kids?  You know your kids better than anyone, but my recommendation is not to take children under 17 to see this.  While the movie isn’t necessarily gory, it is a war movie.  It’s not a depiction; it’s a documentary, and it’s violent.  The violence, however, occurs in an appropriate context (it’s not violence captured on film simply for the purpose of sensational violence) and the film is very respectful of the soldiers and families involved.  What will make the movie difficult for kids, especially young ones, is viewing the movie without an appropriate understanding of the broader real-world context of the war in Afghanistan, or the decisions that led us to the war–again, not really a part of what the movie attempts to address.

For older or more mature kids, it may be a great teaching tool to help them know and understand any number of broader things:  courage, duty, service to country and friends, loyalty, bravery, decision-making, the practical impact of political decisions, as well as other attributes that we parents hope to see instilled in our kids as they mature into adults.  Overall, I recommend parents see the movie first, then decide if it’s the kind of film your kids should see.

For more information and to see the trailer, visit the film’s website (http://restrepothemovie.com) and National Geographic’s “The Making of Restrepo.”

I highly recommend you see this movie no matter what your political views, your views of the military, or the war in Afghanistan.  It’s an amazing snapshot of what one facet of modern ground warfare looks like: dramatically different than that of previous wars up to and including the war to liberate Iraq.  More importantly, it’s also an amazing chronicle of the bonds that form between men, in this case men who became friends as they trained together and later fought side by side.

It’s great to be a dad!

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1. Military Dad’s Holiday Gift Guide
2. Five Guys Review

Back then we were living in Virginia and away from all of our family and friends. The decision of how and when to tell people is never an easy thing to do, but we made the best of it and figured it out. We didn’t have things like Twitter or Facebook to tell masses of people at one time, so the news trickled out slowly and surely and it was always fun to have new people find out and get in touch.

This morning my good friend Clarence told the world that he is going to be a poppa and he did it in a way that I’ve never been part of before. He did it by posting the comic below on one of his projects called Planet Wifey. I’ve known about the news for a bit and I’m glad he got the chance (and felt that we were close enough) to tell me in person, but I love that so many other people will find out from this comic.

The one thing I tell every guy who tells me they are going to be a Dad for the first time is the same thing a friend from Bentley told me when I told him the news.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “You think you know that you are going to be a Dad, but you really don’t yet. Just wait and at some point, somewhere the news is really going to hit you and then you’ll know you are going to be a dad.”

I laughed it off and then I remember being at a red light, months later on my way home from work when this wave of “oh shit I’m going to be a Dad!” washed over me. I broke down crying and was filled with an even bigger mix of emotions then I had before. I laughed at myself as I realized this is what my friend meant. Now I knew I was going to be a dad.

So, now I give that same bit of advice to every new dad. I also always recommend The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be as my book of choice for guys to read. I read them all and that is the one that stuck with me and was actually written in a way that a guy wants to read and I respected that.

Congrats to Clarence and to all the new Dads out there. It feels like something is in the water lately because there are a lot of new babies on the horizon.

What advice do you give to your friends when they tell you they are becoming fathers? I’d love to hear!

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I’m a year round grilling guy. As long as there isn’t a foot of snow on the ground I’ll try to BBQ. When it is warm out I grill pretty much every night that I can. Some people are scared of the grill and there is no reason you should be. It is a magical and awesome thing.

This weekend is actually a boys weekend for me because my wife and daughter are headed camping with the Girl Scouts. We’ll be finally taking in the latest Star Trek movie and I can’t wait. But, what do you need to survive the weekend? Here are my essentials for a good Memorial Day Weekend.

1. Beer
   There are few things that top an ice cold beer outside on a sunny day with friends. Lots of brands will put out special summer brews or new varieties. Summer is a great time to try new beer because there will be plenty of friends around to give them to if you don’t like them. I always try to stock up with at least one staple and then mix it up every time for variety. By the end of summer you’ll have a scattered few of everything which is fun. Give Sam Adams Summer, Magic Hat #9 and Harpoon IPA a try as great starters that never miss.
2. Meat
   Sure, you might want some vegetables and other things to go with it, but at the end of the day I’m a carnivore and thus I need good quality meat to make it through the weekend. Don’t skimp and save a few pennies. Get the good stuff! Most grocery stores now have a section of the meat counter for the better cuts of meat. Sure, they cost more, but they also taste better. When I really want to go all out I make my way down to Whole Foods because they have an amazing meat counter and I can get lost there. Mix it up with some fresh fish and grilled veggies. Few things top a nice New York Strip and some fresh shrimp on the grill. (Recipes soon I promise)
3. Sunscreen
   This is essential and don’t you dare get all macho on me and say you don’t need it. The sun is bad for your skin and that is a fact. If you are going to be spending time outside this weekend (and you better) then you need to put on the sunscreen. Get one that has a high SPF and is sweat proof. That way you can put it on and forget it. Read the bottle though to see how long it is good for so that you make sure to put more on when needed. Make sure to put it on your and the kids and get every corner of exposed skin. Don’t forget behind the ears!
4. Music
   You can’t have a great summer without awesome music. Fill up your iPod and crank the tunes. Make a playlist that you can fire up any time you want to get your grove on. Don’t just stick to the mainstream and find new artists. I always like asking friends what they are into and always check them out. Some personal favorites for this time of year would be Lee Coulter, Matthew Ebel and Now is Now.
5. A parade
   Show your support of the veterans and the town you live in. Most will have a Memorial Day parade of some sort and maybe it is the small town guy in me, but I love these. Something old school Americana about them and it wouldn’t be the same without them. We’ve always gone to the cemetery over Memorial Day as well because it is an important thing. I know that Emily is going to be flagging graves as well. Don’t forget why we have this weekend and all the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice so we can enjoy it.

What else do you need for a successful Memorial Day weekend?

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Since I sit at a desk every day, working in a home office most of the time, there is not a lot of getting up and moving around. I bought a water cooler for my office in the hopes that I’d start drinking more water throughout the day. I know this is good for me on multiple angles, but it gets really boring after a while.

I’ve tried a variety of different drinks, juices and “enhanced waters” that I could find and honestly none of them worked for me that much. I still buy them when I’m out and about instead of a soda, but what to do when I’m at home? Feels like a waste of money to stock my fridge up on these when at the end of the day regular water is better for you then any of them are.

When my company first got approached about working with Pure Inventions I was extremely skeptical. There are a million different things out there that you can add to water. The problem is that most of them have more sugar or other things you might not want to put in your body. Pure promised something that was healthy, no calories, no sugar and all around good for you. (read more here)

Before we took them on as a client (and yes they are now a client), I wanted to sample the product and shortly there after a big box arrived filled with a variety of flavors. Fast forward several months to today and my favorites are their Peach Green Tea Extract and the Cranberry with Elderberry Fruit Extract. I thought the chocolate varieties would hold a lot of promise, but for me personally I’ll stick to the bad for me Hershey’s syrup when it comes to that. *laugh* The kids seem to like it in milk though for a little variety.

I now keep a 32 oz Nalgene bottle on my desk and try to fill it 3-4 times a day and while they are a client of mine, I honestly try to make sure at least one of those full bottles also has some Pure Inventions in it because otherwise I get bored and stop drinking the water. It seems to be working so far. I’m hoping someday they’ll start packing it in plastic bottles (instead of glass) so that I can bring it on the road with me.

Oh and yes, the kids like it too. Dylan likes a few of them, but Emily seems to be really going nuts on them. As a parent ,this is a very good thing because they see it as an alternative to Kool-Aid or soda and I like that since I know this doesn’t have any sugar or caffeine in it.

If you are interested in trying some, use promo code P22FREESHIP on www.PureInventions.com and get free shipping on your order until May 31, 2009.

Have you found any other products that help cut the boredom of water without adding calories? If so, please let me know.

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1. Making a Rillette
2. Making Exercise Child’s Play