Digital Dads Exposed is a monthly interview series that highlights the unique perspectives on manhood and fatherhood held by those we at Digital Dads have come across in our travels. This month, we feature Boris Bally—metalsmith, industrial designer, Humanufactured.

What is your perspective on what it means to be a man living in todays world?

For better or worse (I would argue better!) contemporary men have been expected to assume so many more responsibilities than the previous generation. Not only is there a pressure to have a good job/ career, we must now also learn to become equal partners on the home/parent front. Because of this, we have to become more flexible with our responsibilities at work (like working women!) I would also argue that men are learning to soften the last generations’ more machismo stereotypical gender roles. In my opinion, modern men are connecting with their kids in different ways than the last generation: we are not only their dads, but also able to become their friends

Growing up, what has influenced you the most and shaped the man that you are today?

Probably the biggest influence was the artistic/ designer family culture that I grew up in. Both my parents came here from Switzerland and raised me with a serious Swiss work-ethic, uncomparable freedom to do what I wanted and go where I pleased. I was raised very ‘hands-off.’ They supported my artistic endeavors. This also taught me to tackle tough lessons on my own, by allowing me to make my own mistakes. I learned by doing: “Less talk more action..” Through various jobs (paper route, lawn-mowing, carpentry, model-making) I began to appreciate the developing connections with clients, colleagues friends. The career-path I have chosen (metalsmithing) has provided me a constant source of mentors and colleagues. I have always felt a part of my greater global metalsmith family. One definite influence was the requirement, in my senior year at college (CMU/Pittsburgh), for all students to own a PC (specifically the first 128k mac!) I embraced the computer, the ‘new’ culture and managed to keep-up with the exploding ‘digital’ age..which I now rely on for survival.

In the moments you are able to pause and reflect, what activity do you normally gravitate towards?

I love to swim laps. It is my ‘reset’ button and gives me peace. Sometimes, if we get lucky, Lynn and I swim lovingly together for a hot ‘swim date.’ In colder weather, I love to build a fire in our home’s fireplace. Its an Archetypal, prehistoric ‘manish’ thing. I enjoy cutting up the old, dying trees, gathering and splitting the wood, sparking a fire and tending to it. I am curiously connected to my Neanderthal brethren. It is the essence of ‘man’ that has made us different from the other animals. And in Summer, I love to watch the ocean, especially the drama of an acetylene flame sunrise.. as Lynn and I catch up while we walk our dog, ‘Schoggi’ at our local beach.

What is your parental philosophy?

Children should learn via their parent’s example. In the case of my immediate family, they are not limited by traditional gender roles. We should teach them to learn, to love, to share, to feel safe, and feel okay about occasionally f-ing up …we can gently nudge them in the correct direction when they drift. Like a boat, try to make only minor adjustments at the helm to keep the boat moving forward. Most of all, it is our duty to show them the wonder the world can offer and to help them understand the responsibility of keeping it safe.

What do you appreciate the most about being a father?

The added dimension of enlarging my perspective of the world around me. The focus is no longer on me, nor on my partner, but rather on all of us. It is truly a gift and I’m sure my heart has grown exponentially. My kids add a dimension to love I would never have been able to understand.

What is your favorite activity (or activities) to do with your children?

We love to make ‘stuff’ in the studio together.. we enjoy drawing anytime, anyplace. This weekend, we visited a rock gym with the family and we all had a BLAST. My son Etai, an avid, very able skier has been enjoying one-on-one time skiing with his daddy.. and as soon as my daughter gets a little better at snowboarding (this season?) she will be joining us as well. We love to frolic in the pool and we love to hike and bike together when time permits.

What is the best way for a man and father to impart wisdom to his children?

By example. Wordless inspiration is so much more powerful than lengthy explanations. That said, I have enjoyed driving my son to school (daughter takes the bus) in the morning (alternating with my wife, Lynn). Our morning ‘commuter’ conversations have been an easy way to discuss a wide array of topics and occasional life lessons.

What piece of technology impacts you most during the day (and is that impact positive or negative)?

My PowerPC G4 at work. It is the source of 90% of my daily communication with the world. E-mails impact my business on a minute-by-minute basis. My work day morphs to match the incoming spew of inquiries, requests, queries, orders, letters, opportunities and kid-related/ family-related memos.

How does technology shape the way you raise and influence your children?

I am conflicted. On one hand, I want the kids to know their way around technology and applaud it. They’ve gotta know this stuff! On the other hand, I am saddened that it is often at the expense of some of life’s most important ‘low-tech’ and hands-on lessons (looking up a word in a dictionary, finding directions by reading a map, learning to build something REAL and lasting) The allure is obvious but the addiction is surreptitious. My family refuses to buy video games such as Wii or X-box. Recently, however, in a moment of weakness I broke-down and bought my son a DS, which I now regret. We did give our kids our outmoded laptops. Of course, the kids have quickly learned how to ‘find’ games in the cyber world.. and we are constantly needing to constrain their usage.. Our kids are now required to log-on to a school site to do homework! …and so now it has become a school-day requirement. With this one exception, during the school week, we have a ‘no electronics’ policy.

How do you think men’s roles will change in the future?

I am optimistic there will be an even easier balance between men and women..perhaps a blurring of outmoded, traditional gender-roles As outlined above, I think we are already heading this way.. More equality in sharing the burdens of running the household, raising the kids, participating in school and ‘bringing home the bacon’ should give way to better understanding and communication. Oh yes, and obviously the intensity of daily living goes up a bunch of notches!

‘Preciate it, Boris!

Boris Bally lives in the West End of Providence, RI with his wonderful wife and two lovely children. Learn more about his Humanufactured efforts at his design site.

/// Digital Dads Exposed returns soon with more unique and interesting perspectives on manhood and fatherhood. Is there someone you would like to see featured? send us an email.