Stop Slutting Up Our Girls

Last week I attended my first dance competition with my daughter. It was a lot of fun to see girls of all ages strut their stuff on the stage and do an amazing job at it. The talent in these young ladies was amazing to see.

What I wasn’t ready for was seeing young girls in fishnets, tight boy shorts and thigh high leather boots. The teased hair, fake eye lashes and gyrating bodies on stage. I talked about this on Cast of Dads #18 and was glad to hear that the other dads were equally upset by it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am the farthest thing from an uptight prude. But, as I sat there in the audience and watched the 6 & 7 year old teams shake things they didn’t have and perform moves that were more appropriate for a stripper pole then a school stage I had to stop and wonder. Why are we letting our kids do this? Worse yet, why were there parents in the audience hooting and hollering every time they did an extra sexy move? How is it that suddenly slutting up our girls is ok with parents?

If you need a visual to make this real for you, take a look at this video below. It hit the web yesterday and after Jessica Gottlieb wrote about it, I knew I had to share my thoughts. Keep in mind that the girls in this video are seven and eight years old.

I can appreciate the girls dancing skills (they are super talented in that video) and I’ve heard the arguments of “they are just costumes”, but all of it still pisses me off. If you can’t handle watching the whole thing, the last 20 seconds or so will be enough to make you scream.

I have a daughter. I see the way she is marketed to. I’ve taken her shopping and seen the outfits that hang on display. Most of it is fine, but so much of it is far from that. Sure, sex sells, but do we need to be selling it to girls so young that they haven’t even developed yet? There is no reason for that.

This is not going to be one of those scream at society pieces, because I firmly believe that it is the job of the parent to not let this happen to their own kids. It is up to you to say, “no you can’t wear that” and explain why something is inappropriate. We can scream all we want, but when I heard those other parents cheering on the girls on stage (just listen to the video) it made me shake my head in shame. I wanted to stand up and turn around and ask point blank, “what the hell are you doing?”

One thing, that this personal experience has taught me is that I’ve got to be more involved if Emily is going to continue doing dance. I had never seen the routines she was working on, until they were on stage. I had seen the costumes ahead of time and they were fine. But, if she had come home with some of the outfits that I saw other girls in what would I have done? I’ve been thinking a lot about that and I know for sure I wouldn’t have allowed her to do it. That would not have been easy as I know dance is turning into a bit of a passion for her, but I would have needed to do it.

My daughter is growing up with a deep rooted self confidence. I want her to know that whatever she ends up looking like that she is her own person. That she is beautiful, smart, awesome and unique. There is nothing wrong with being sexy and flirtatious. That is part of the fun of being a human and while I’m scared to death of when she figures that out, I know it is part of growing up.

Parents, you are the last line of defense here. The old saying that sex sells is a fact and we all know it. That is never going to change, but does sex have to sell in your house? No, it doesn’t. This is a problem that parents are allowing to happen. Complain all you want about what is happening in our world, but the more active you are as a parent and not allow things like this to happen the better we all will be.

Update: As of this afternoon, it looks like all copies of the video have been removed from YouTube, so the embed below won’t work. Can’t say that I’m dissapointed in this, but it does kill a little experiment I was going to do with my daughter.

No related posts.

Tags: dance, girls, sexuality

C.C. Chapman is the Founder of Digital Dads and the Author of Content Rules. He is a family first entrepreneur with two great kids (a boy and a girl) who loves the outdoors, cooking, photography and playing with technology. He consults with companies around the globe to help them embrace the new world of marketing and business. C.C. is a sought after speaker, photographer and content creator who looks forward to each day as a new adventure.

http://www.theopensourcerer.com The Open Sourcerer

That's quite shocking.

I stopped it after a short time too. I'm a dad and have two young boys (5 & 9) but that performance just isn't right is it?

I'm very broad-minded generally and I guess that “routine” would not have been so bad had the clothing been a little more tasteful, but I do think we are increasingly taking our kids into adulthood too early. When I was growing up the girls went to ballet class and we played cowboys and indians in the woods.
http://www.annhandley.com Ann Handley

The other day I was driving a car full of tweenagers when Usher came on the radio. I cringed as they all sang along:

“honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow
honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow…
….oooh she got it all…”

Really? “She has it 'all'”? Like brains? A keen sense of humor? Warmth and personality? Or just a nice ass?

I'm no prude, either, CC, but as some of your commenters have pointed out, our girls are picking up this stuff culturally and embracing it as “normal” on the stage and off… like the sing-along in my car the other afternoon.

I can't say I have all the answers, but awareness and discussion (like this post!) is huge. Also, as you suggest, raising kids with a sense of that same awareness and confidence, too, that transcends the cultural slutty-ness crap. Talking to your girls about how sex is fun and cool, but slutty isn't… (or relaying it in terms of whatever your values happen to be).

And by the way, this isn't just an issue that affects our daughters.. but our sons, too. I see it in my own teenage boy and his friends, who are obviously steeped in this culture as well. The behavior of teen boys seems sometimes disturbingly consistent with a talk Cindy Gallop gave at TED last year, in which she said that ready access to hardcore porn had influenced the way a generation of young men think about women and sex.
davidsobkowiak

My daughter turns 9 on Sunday. As long as my wife and I are breathing, she will never (NEVER) be put on public display like this. It's base, disgusting and frightening. One thing that struck me was the expressions of the girls while they were dancing. They have no idea (or at least should not) what those emotional expressions mean and it's frightening to see that level of intensity in someone so young. The hypersexual nature of today's society is something every parent needs to consider whether they have a daughter or a son (I have both). For both of my children, it's a matter of teaching them to view every person as a person, and not an object. It's also a matter of instilling self confidence and self respect, and respect of others.
Appalling.
http://www.mommybrainreports.com MommyBrain

OK.. i missed Jessica's post, but saw yours come across twitter… All I have to say about that video is wow… just wow… i would NEVER let my girls dress or dance like that… It actually makes me more than glad that they did not end up taking dance this past year… Instead, we put them in Martial Arts classes… WHO in their right mind would let their children go on stage in those clothes and do those dance moves at that age??? really??? I am with you… If my kids came home with “costumes” like those I'd have stood up too.

Yes… they are talented girls.. but so are the dancers on DWTS and I don't see super slutty dances like that… Well.. even Pam Anderson came on the show and performed cleanly..

I'm so scared of what my girls are exposed to… They're going to be going to school this coming Fall, and it scares me that I won't be able to control what they watch… and no.. they don't watch music videos… They watch Mythbusters…
phillymac

Hey CC,

As dad of four girls, 3 of whom took dance till this year, I completely know what you're talking about. The eldest (14) isn't taking dance anymore because all the classes she would have been in had performance costumes that looked like they were better suited for trollops than a young lady. The 12 year old only takes tap now because the jazz and hip hop routines were headed in the same direction as the 14 year olds.

Alas, this is becoming a societal standard. I know a lot of people try to make the argument that “parents just need to get more involved” (in fact, you just said that above) or “well, that's your morals” – but there's a point where society has to have an agreed upon moral baseline.

Even if I am an involved parent (and I am) it's really hard to shield kids from adult content and allow them to be kids. And I'm talking about young teens here as well. Just wait till you have your pre-teen or teen girl saying they want to watch stuff on TV, and all the shows you see are about the girls having boyfriends or the boys they have crushes on or sneaking out behind their idiot parents backs and the like. And then when you try to look beyond teenybopper fare (just described) everything has some kind of sexual content, double entendre or language that you don't routinely use in your home (not saying the kids might not hear it at school – but it's still not accepted language for them at their age). Even worse at the moves. Honestly, I can be involved, but unless I'm a rolling shield wall in front of my kids – there's NO way (other than digging a hole) – to keep them from being exposed to what has become the accepted norm. Having said that, being that I don't believe that digging a hole is a solution, my wife and I continue to move on, teach, edify, instruct and teach our KIDS to address the situation when they encounter it as well. Yes, we're radicals that way!

In this particular case, I believe there are a couple of things happening (well, maybe more than a couple but these play a big part).

1.) Sex and the use of sex has become so profligate in our society that many people fail to realize that what they see on TV or commercials now would have caused an outrage even 20 years ago. What Lady Gaga wears and does today without anyone seeming to even take notice got Madonna, and her sponsor Pepsi, boycotted in the 80s.

2.) Social (as represented by big media and hollywood which shape and create) and peer pressure has intimidated many people that might say something into holding their tongues because they're afraid to be ridiculed (prude, right wing nut job, etc.) and or are afraid of being perceived as politically incorrect. Not that it's an excuse mind you – I don't think it is – but it's what happens. Remember, most people (the temperaments of at least 86% of the population) are non-confrontational. Even if something makes someone uncomfortable, they won't address is, they'll either endure it and/or when the opportunity arrives just move into a different circumstance.

And yes, name calling is a big intimidator. I know when I was a kid my parents used to say stuff like “sticks and stones and break my bones but names can never hurt me” but in today's environment we are so quick to label people, to use names to polarize a crowd, generate page views and frame a debate in terms we prefer it has taken on new and immense proportion and creates a huge impact on people.

To sum up, I agree with you that we're the last line of defense, but I don't agree that it's all we can be or have to be. You can only throw up a wall so long. You can only defend against the barbarian hoards until the walls crash in by sheer weight. We, as dads, must instead be a beacon. We instead must insist that that kind of dancing is not appropriate at their ages. Our studio owner didn't agree, so our girls don't take those classes. Our studio owner didn't see it, so now she's lost the custom for our youngest three children.

We as dads must not just say it's not going to happen in our house, but we need to make people aware that it just isn't right. I'm not saying we need to legislate it, but we do need to continue to let people that can make a difference know.

I think last year your mention was Transformers – if I recall you were outraged. Others were too, especially some dads that were embarrassed to watch the preview trailer with the motorcycle scene when their girls were with them. Others have mentioned the marketing of Batman to kids (while the movies were far to mature for kids), today it's the girls costumes and dancing. What will it be next?
tishgrier

came here from a tweet….and even though I don't have children, I care about how they are marketed to, and what our culture is about. One irony to this is that Beyonce Knowles was wearing more clothing in her video for the song than the girls in the video are wearing. There's no reason for that kind of costume on a kid. And while I'm sure there's a reason for teaching those dance moves (those are the ones in vogue right now) it's very disturbing to see kids performing them. Yet this is our culture–one that makes everything into sexual suggestion.

I also worry about how they might take to their bodies growing up and growing older. Will they have difficulty accepting their bodies as they leave their 20's and enter into their 30's and 40's, when weight gain and skin changes just aren't under one's control the way they are in youth? Will we see more women cutting their bodies with unnecessary surgeries more often? The consequences of such early sexualization are frightening.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

Thank you for this comment. You hit on some points that I didn't even know how to articulate since I wasn't focused on just the dancing.
http://startupcfo.ca startupcfo

Totally agree with you. Like you I have a daughter and a son. It just seems like society is in a rush to make our kids grow up fast. What's the rush? Let kids be kids.
joezeigler

I agree that the girls in this video have clearly worked hard on this routine, and are demonstrating exceptional skills, especially considering their age.

But, considering their age, all the booty-pumping and chest-thrusting maneuvers are totally inappropriate. Their parents should be calling the dance instructors to task for it.

Makes me glad my 9YO girl is more in tuned to basketball and soccer. (Thought sports come with their own set of teaching opportunities.)
ryanholota

As much as this disgusts me, and as much as I think allowing your daughters to do this borders on abuse, the fact is that it does not fall within the guidelines of criminal abuse, and the parents are free to let their kids do this if they so choose.

This is yet another example of why it is so important to think about our roles as parents and to be willing to take a stand on matters of principle as a parent. C.C., you are totally right to say that you would refuse to allow your daughter to participate in something like this if the situation ever arose. If just one of those parents had said no to this dance, perhaps the other parents involved would have been shamed just enough to choose a less suggestive routine.
http://cutemonster.com CuteMonsterDad

I can't comprehend the lack of oversight by the adults involved in producing this dance routine. The parents, the choreographers and the organization involved in running this particular show are all accountable for this misguided debacle. There's simply nothing age appropriate about it.
http://jessicagottlieb.com JessicaGottlieb

Thanks for the shout out.

What I see as a woman is that very young girls are being shown that their currency is sexuality. I cannot imagine a sadder message to give your girl.
Tammi

I am a dance teacher and I have to be honest, I could never get my 7 and 8 year olds to do any of this, not the triple turns, the sharpness of the moves, the perfect in sync movement…. I think the real problem is, that the same parents who are letting their 7-8 year old dance enough in one week
to perfect real technique appropriate for 10-15 year olds, don't mind whoring out their daughters. I am ashamed that these teachers are wasting their obvious talent for instruction on such trash… take the same time and teach them ballet, modern, jazz (that was NOT jazz… it was trash) and
maybe how to be children. They dance better than 90% of my school, but I teach my girls to be self confident… not self depricating. Talk about teaching our children that if they are the sexiest thing out there that they will be “loved”. I absolutely love bob fosse and what he has brought to the
world of jazz… but if this was suppose to be in his style, they missed some seriously important stylizing. Someone only heard hip thrust… how about particular hands, the inverted legs, etc. Even in Sweet Charity, the moves were less sexual than in this dance and that show was about strippers! He could use one simple hip thrust and it read sexually while not degrading the dancers… in fact… the dances were generally more about mocking this sort of movement… which needs a rather mature and aware dancer to be performing them… these 7-8 year olds should not even know sex exists… so my guess is they can not actually perform a Fosse piece to its full potential. I am absolutely disgusted.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

Amen to that! No one is saying to be a prude, but there are some lines that should be obvious to parents not to cross.
http://twitter.com/christinelexa Christine Sierra

Great discussion. And a point I think needs more attention is that respect of yourself and others starts at home. Parents raise their children – the teachers, coaches, instructors, clergy, neighbors, family members can all support them in those efforts – but at the end of the day Mom and/or Dad are responsible.

I haven't had a chance to see the GA interview but I'm not surprised that some parents would allow the exploitation – we live in a fame hungry society. Little Lucy can make it big and be the next Disney star if someone sees her “talent”.

Keep them close and talk around the table. They grow up so fast.
Trololol

America Fuck yeah!
John Stahlbaum

You are definately correct but with the present society and all the things that are publicly allowed now, I believe there is no way that parents can control what goes on in their childrens lives, not because of bad parenting but because of a bad society. After all your kids can watch, see or hear about gay pride parades and such and their outfits are even worse.
If you want your children to grow up in this kind of society then you must just sit back and let it happen as it may because with the social influence you as a parent does not have a hope in Hell.
John
http://jamie.sandford.org/ Jamie Sandford

And now the video has made CNN and Dr. Phil.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2010/…
sherryosborne

I just wrote about it today too. I wanted to write something yesterday but I was just too shocked and disgusted to formulate words beyond “oh my GOD.”

It's all kinds of wrong and if one of those girls was my daughter that would have been her LAST time at that particular dance school.
MichelleGillies

I watched the video. What I thought & felt in order of appearance…
1st – Shock
2nd – Horror
3rd – Then I started to cry
4th – Shame
5th – They must have really worked hard & are really talented
The 5th thing on the list should have been the first and only thing on the list. Such talent being so exploited is inexcusable.
http://www.danielmclark.com Daniel M. Clark

I agree on all points, as a father of a four-year-old. I didn't even bother to watch the video because seeing the freeze-frame image of the girls on stage in those outfits was enough. I didn't need to press Play. There is no excuse – none – for girls of that age to be wearing outfits like that.

When you go to the beach, you can wear a bikini, right? But you can't wear a bra and panties. Why? Same amount of skin covered, right? But it's simply inappropriate. It's not the amount of skin on the girls in the video that I have a problem with, it's the *style of the clothing*. They're dressed like strippers. No 8-year-old should ever… EVER… be dressed like a stripper. I'll be damned if my daughter dresses like that as long as she's pre-adult. Five, eight, sixteen, if she's not an adult, she's a child, and children don't get to dress like strippers if I have anything to say about it.
http://mastersonlog.blogspot.com/ Laurie Masterson

As a mother of two beautiful teenage daughters (15,17) I am saddened with you. Parents buy into this by be held prisoner by the culture, the schools and their children. Having seen this early on play out in our community I chose to pull my children out of public school (I know that not everyone can do this). I battled with our school district over extremely explicit sexual material being available to our children. Although there were several parents who stepped forward in support the majority, who felt the same, stayed silent~ Complacency is the breeds all that is happening in our country today. My hope and fervent prayer is that people will step from their comfort zones and become engaged in the facets of life that are eternal~
Laurie Masterson

Clintus- Open mindedness has nothing at all to do with this. As a woman and a mom of two teenage daughters I can tell you that what you allow, as a parent, your child to be exposed to is tacit approval. So while you are saying no with your words you are saying yes with your actions. Actions speak louder than words. Dress up is one thing, dressing like a hooker is quite another. I would encourage you to be very careful who you allow your daughter to look up to, listen to and read… GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage out)~
bropo

Excellent discussion but might I recommend that — rather than disappointing your daughter when she comes home with an inappropriate costume — you get involved in the planning stages with the dance instructor re costume choices and dance moves? That way, your daughter's hard work isn't for naught later in the game. And “inappropriate” is a word the dance instructor (many of whom are young and don't have children of their own and find these situations “cute”) needs to learn.
Robert Mendez

After reading some of the comments here, it seems you have uncovered many of the underlying reasons why this has gone this far. I disagree that this is just inappropriate for “just” such young children, though, since some have said they shut it down, I won't actually view this as I believe it is actually inappropriate to show it. I can imagine what it is just from seeing enough of it in the last couple of decades. Suggestive, provocative and alluring fantasies of adults – it was adults who orchestrated this btw – pushed on children ought to bring the same penalties as people who produce and sell child porn. Furthermore, except for a couple of exceptions, I'm sure most here are solid parents and individuals. However, I am just as sure as there are others, how many I have no idea, who will use this for their own sick enjoyment. I don't think you need to display it to consider it. If you believe it is wrong for this age, are you saying it's fine for a sixteen-year-old? It is not and I would venture to say this sort of rubbish is only good for the lowest common prurient individuals. Would you approve your wife performing this way?
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

While I probably wouldn't approve of my wife doing the same dance number, she is old enough to make her own decisions so it would really be up to her.

Is there a “right age” is a tough question and one I don't know the answer to. A lot of it depends on the person, the parent and the situation. Each has to decide for themselves. My daughter is only 9 so I can only talk about that age range.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

It is something that I'm planning on doing. I've never actually met the person that runs the dance academy she goes to and I'm planning on going this weekend to talk to them about this very issue, because I'm curious what their reaction would be.

I'm happy to see several dance instructors commenting on this post.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

It is sad that #5 gets lost. I agree with you.

If the girls can dance as good as they can, just think what a killer routine they could have done without all the sex moves.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

One point you brought up is a simple one, but one that I think adds to a lot of this happening and that was your reference to talk around the table.

While schedules now make it harder then ever, we always try to sit down together for dinner. Some of the best discussions happen there and it is something we've always tried to maintain. It gets a LOT harder as they get older, but I wish more families did this.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

THANK YOU for chiming in and sharing your thoughts. I didn't want to slam the dance community, because this of course is a much bigger issue, but I'm so glad you shared your thoughts from the dance side.
http://www.dominickevans.com Dominick

I am not a prude, at all, but I found that video very distasteful. The girls all look like baby prostitutes. It's horrible that parents cheer this on. Let kids be kids and stop trying to make them age before it is their time!
http://www.andreasrecipes.com Andrea Meyers

This is one of those situations where the parents not only need to tell the child it's not appropriate but tell the dance teachers that we don't want this kind of stuff and we'll find other studios that are more in line with our way of raising our children. Money talks.
http://lindasellers.com Linda

that video made my cry. I had 2 girls in competitive cheering in a group that insisted on uniforms that covered middles and skirts were long enough so that they still looked like little girls. And they were made fun of for their uniforms because they weren't the typical skimpy style. it IS up to the parents to be vigilant and protect.
http://www.jeremymeyers.com/ Jeremy Meyers

A couple of things here

1) I would tend to doubt that the girls in the video had any specific ideas as to the meaning we are attaching to it.

2) The idea that sexuality is pervasive in this society, for me at least, isn't the issue. The issue is that sexuality devoid of human value, devoid of actual confidence, is a currency. I think this traces back to the original puritan values that sex is a shameful taboo, for women especially. The reason there can even BE a “sex=power” dynamic for women is that a woman who enjoys sex and whose sexuality is represented as part of her whole is somehow deviant, as opposed to the norm. It's not a realistic representation of sex, its a pornographic representation (not that there's anything wrong with porn, but it's FANTASY)

3) Maybe this wasn't the most appropriate choice of outfit, maybe there was a better way to have these children demonstrate their considerable dancing skills, but I think the time to have that discussion is BEFORE the performance. Saying “i was horrified” and “this is digusting” may just reinforce the 'sex is bad, you should be ashamed of your bodies' message that so many commenters are rallying against.
bgavin

I can't even think about the whole pedophile thing.
Much more important because it will effect everything single girl involved is what Jessica said – we are teaching these girls that their currency – their value is only their sexuality.
http://www.cc-chapman.com/ C.C. Chapman

Exactly my thought.
http://emmadevlin.com LilPecan

I know exactly who is parenting these girls. They are led by marketing rather than long established morals. If they see it in the media they figure it must be okay. They are sold on the idea that media represents societal norms and rather than think this through, it is easier to believe the times have changed and anyone who doesn't accept this is a backwards prude. They think they are hip and progressive for going along.

I know it is more comforting to think these parents were not aware what their children were doing after being dropped off at dance but sadly that is not always the case. These are the ones who say my daughter is precocious but what are you going to do because “all children are like that now.” Rather than seeing the behavior in this video as an aberration and pulling their child out of dance class they believe they are encouraging the child's creativity. They think maybe their child could end up on American Idol.

I am heartened to see the number of parents shouting “Hell, no!” in these comments. I don't agree with John Stahlbaum that parents don't have a chance in hell fighting social influence. Be aware of what your children are doing and speak with them about it. Children are poor at processing cause and effect. There are enough examples of poor judgment out there where a parent can show the consequences of such behavior. Let these examples speak for you and you are less likely to come off as a lecturing nag.
heysenseless

I'm 20 and I used to dance in recitals like that. I quit dancing when I was around 13 and from what I've seen the entire dance industry has changed. I quite agree with what you're saying. The dances need to be appropriate for the age groups that are dancing it. When I was little, we wore poodle skirts and jumpsuits as costumes. Although the demographic is changing, a lot of it has to do with our culture and the way its represented in the media (movies, music videos, etc) and not only that, but also in schools and yes, in some families. Although I'm not a parent myself, and I never really plan to be, I'm worried about future generations of children who are being prescribed birth control at 13 and learning to slut it up at school and I do believe that self-esteem has something to do with that. Parents do need to take a more active role in their children's lives, especially during the development of themselves and their ideas. While I'm not saying to be a helicopter parent or even be that strict, I think it's important that children are aware of their choices, their options, and themselves.
ErinK

Would those parents still be cheering and hooting if the girls were 13 and had the bodies to fill out outfits like that?

How are they going to teach them the difference?
http://twitter.com/JoeSuchy Joe Suchy

Well said! I first typed “great article” but the “slutting up of America” is a disturbing and real issue. I'm glad my three are all in their 20's now!
http://newyorkdadblog.com/ New York Dad

Might I add this consideration to Jessica's comment about teaching sex as currency?

Neither being a prude nor caring if my kid ever becomes the world’s greatest “whatever” (or at least not by my forcing him to do so starting his training at 18 months), I want to explain why sex would not work as currency for these little girls. I figure, at least this way these parents will also have a more pragmatic “clinical” reason to rethink what they are doing.

Many of the parents who are cheering for their little girl “a-la-Little Miss Sunshine” are the very same ones who enter them in all these kinds of dance competitions hoping that one day their little girl will be a top dancer. To be a top dancer (and excuse me for being a total snob) you need to aspire to enter a top performing arts school or troupe (ballet, modern dance… etc.). If you are think Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders then I am sorry to inform you that you are not really shooting for the stars.

So here is the bad news. Julliard (to name just one) looks down upon the tasteless garbage and the utter waste of talent seen in this video. Imagine your daughter showing up for auditions with that spectacle in her portfolio (and even if you realize what you have done, Internet is such a powerful intelligence gatherer, good luck trying to bury it). So do yourself a favor, if you are so driven to get her to the top, start by finding her a choreographer who has talent and taste. That would be something to cheer about.
Dave

As a dance dad, I've seen this too – there are studios that specifically state that they don't do provocative dancing, and the power of the parent (or the parent's pocketbook) is the king of it all – usually talking to the dance teachers will resolve these kinds of issues.

My daughter has been dancing for 7 years, since the age of 5, and it's been a great experience. We have moved dance studios for different reasons, just remember you are in charge, not them.
sue_anne

I saw that video that you posted and had very similar thoughts. While the girls are very talented and did a great job on the choreography they were given, the adults are to blame with how they've sexualized the routine.

It's along the same lines of Miley's little sister creating “lingerie” instead of pajamas. Why does an 8 year old girl need lingerie?
http://www.danyork.com/ Dan York

C.C., Thanks for writing this… and yes, as the father of 2 daughters (8 yrs old and 1 yr old), I couldn't watch more than a few seconds of this. I agree with so many of the comments here… and yes, it definitely IS our responsibility as parents to help guide our children in what is appropriate and sensible… and clearly this is NOT.
http://icouldcrybutidonthavetime.wordpress.com amyz5

I I first saw this on facebook and then on Jessica's eloquent post. As a mom of a daughter who is now 21 but navigated through the days of dance recitals I feel your pain. I too was more appalled at the parental cheering than the misguided ignorance of the dancing school.

Parenting is all about modeling and setting limits. First part was easy in my house, second part was a struggle. Let's take a look at the moms of those 7 and 8 year olds. How many of them are behaving this way and how many are just going along with it because “everyone is doing it and I can't disappoint my child or single them out?”

Bottom line, if it feels wrong to you..

IT IS!

Thanks for the a dad's point of view and keeping the attention on this nonsense. Perhaps together we can put a stop to it.
Robert Mendez

The reason such young girls are in this situation is not because they want to be in this situation. I guess that is what I was trying to say. Take for example most of the big “hits” of the last thirty years, from “Dirty Dancing” which is still on the tube constantly, to Dancing with the Stars, which is farcical in the way it sexualizes dance itself. If kids didn't have all of this thrown at them before they have developed an ability to reason, they might develop a better understanding of themselves and the way sex is portrayed. You and others here have said, no one wants to be labeled a prude. As if that is somehow worse than being overly cautious. I doubt many husbands, lovers or parents are keen to gift their loved ones with a stripper pole, yet they are quite the rage. Just looking for a little context to this. I do also wonder how much traffic you would have gotten without the images?
Mur Lafferty

One of my favorite Chris Rock bits is how he felt when he became the father of a daughter, and his new, all-consuming obsession/responsibility was stopping your daughter from being a stripper.

“YOU GOT TO KEEP THEM OFF THE POLE.”

Crude. Funny. But oh so true.
http://twitter.com/christinelexa Christine Sierra

Schedules can be crazy but to me – just like exercise, food shopping, trips to the dentist – time at home with the family around the table is something that may have to be scheduled but can't be overlooked. It's the simple root of communication that I hope stays with my kids so they know at ANY time they can talk to me – and if anything they are asked to do or told to do makes them uncomfortable, they can turn to me (us). I appreciate my calm, family upbringing so much more now that I have children. And you're right – it's simple.
http://twitter.com/CharmedValerie CharmedValerie

Um wow! I'm the furthest thing from being prudish but this just makes me sick to my stomach.
Robert Mendez

This video, which I still refuse to watch, is all over the Internet and has been pulled from Youtube apparently. The consensus: it constitutes child porn. The descriptions of shock and awe may be a red flag that some might take to follow the lead of those that have removed it. I'm curious to hear your rationale for leaving it up if what you are trying to do is encourage discussion that helps kids? Could you tell us why you have it and other provocative images still showing? The image there now is not a child, so what's the deal?

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