I had the kids use Google using safe search settings. The only time I worried about it was in January and February, when so many kids were researching Civil Rights Heroes. It was hard t monitor them closely.

My students know that if they hit a “bad site” they turn off the monitor and get me. I look at their history, tell them how to fix their search. Then they do take a note home (district policy) that says, they hit a bad site, followed procedure, and know how to do a better search in the future. Never had an upset parent. Had 2 question what their imps were doing – but I was able to explain they had hit a vandalized wiki page that I fixed.

BTW – the district decided the money pit had to be paid out of campus tech funds – we declined the “honor” of using it.

I agree 100% with the practical advice in the article and thought the straight forward manner it was written in was refreshing as well. It all boils down to the type of relationship you have with your children.

~Jennifer

My advice is simple. The city is a wondrous place but you have to be careful. Don’t wonder into unknown areas alone. Ask your parents if you see or experience something that disturbs you or doesn’t seem right. Don’t talk to strangers.

Of course if anyone wants to link to this or send it to others PLEASE do as I think it is something that people need to think more about and I wrote this post in the hopes that it would help others.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’m hoping to share everything I know. The ideas about posts around video games and cell phones are very valid ones so thanks for those. Look for the posts in the future.

Would you be ok if our school’s PTA linked to your post via their website or mention it in a weekly email? Would you mind if they printed out the post to give out as handouts for parents (less tech savvy) at PTA meetings? All would be attributed to you and DigitalDads. Let me know what you are cool. THX!

I agree with you ALMOST completely. It is essential to keep your kids in the know. Parents who do not talk to their children about things such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex and pornography, are usually the ones that have the most problems. Usually.

The point in which I don’t agree with you is that a kid needs to experiment or experience these things in order to learn. They don’t HAVE to. Not only should we talk to our kids about these things, we must explain to them the whys and why nots, and that doesn’t just mean, “It’s bad!” or “Because I said so.” If you are going to take the time to talk about it, take the extra five minutes to explain the whys.

I have two girls, 3 years and 1 1/2. At what age do you actually start talking to them about this stuff? They aren’t even interested in getting online yet. Also, what about cell phone usage? Every phone basically has internet now too. Do you just block that completely?

The one thing I hope all parents take away from this post is that “you MUST be involved…It is up to YOU to teach them.”

What strikes me is that this same advice can be applied to parenting as a whole. Our job as parents is to help our kids find their places in a world that has changed quite a bit from that of our childhood. But how is that different from what our parents faced? Or their parents?

We need to let our kids know what we expect of them and teach them the skills needed to help them meet those expectations. Rather than simply trying to block things (how well did that work for our parents?), teach them how to live in today’s world safely and in way of which you approve. Of course there will be times when your kids will want to do more your comfortable with, but don’t just prohibit things blindly. Learn about them and talk to your kids about the risks (and benefits). Yes, this can be challenging in today’s connected world, but it’s our job.

Ten years ago, I led sessions on “Internet Basics” at a local library. In almost every session, a parent would ask about software to keep their kids safe online. In 2007, I fielded similar questions after a blog post about Generation We. Last year after the local paper ran a story about a “MySpace” party, parents posted requests for ways to block social networks.

There are no quick fixes, but there will always be those who look for them. Yes, there are bad things online, and yes, kids can find them. But there are bad things all around us. If we focus only on the bad, then we’ll never see the good that’s out there as well.

We MUST be involved…it is up to US to teach them.

My oldest now has learned to source a range of free onnline tools, from her art/photo site, to setting up a NING community; to using Basecamp and other project management sites to coordinate a ski club; my youngest has Search skills (Google, never filtered) that get her the information she needs quickly; to using Notemark for quickly gathering homework notes from online sources.

They can function in the World they will reside in. I’m sure they’ve sought out or stumbled across a range of material I wish they hadn’t seen. But we’ve never made a big deal out of it. That’s about the only point I’d really like to add here.

The likelihood of running across an online sexual predator is probably extremely low. Statistically. But, the basics for kids are always NEVER give out personal information that would allow someone to know who you are in the real world. Never use last names. Never use addresses.

The biggest problems that kids need to hear about are (a) what you put online, stays online. What you say and pictures you post, may be with you forever. And, (b) Instant Messaging is a place where people can hurt each other very badly. WAVE may make that even worse.

Those (a) and (b) points are more applicable to kids in the 10+ range (I’d like to say 12+ range, but, I think it starts younger). Those are the largest hazards we’ve seen…and, statistically, these are areas that are far more problematic and touch nearly every young User.

The only other real issue we’ve seen is how there can be an obsessive, all consuming need to be attached to IM or email (evolves to SMS when they get phones). That the digital social connection supersedes the real world. Time limits, etc. are false solutions — learning how to put the digital/social into perspective — learning how to TURN OFF the digital connection and walk down the street to meet someone in person…

Fortunately, neither of them give a hoot about Twitter. Doesn’t do a thing for them!

Like anything else, you have to teach your children how to deal with anything that comes along. The problem is that children are more internet savvy than their parents and that is really scary. You can’t teach your children what to do and what not to do if you don’t understand what you are talking about. Would you take advice on making money from someone who has never made a dime in his life? Would you take cooking advice from someone who has never cooked? In this situation parents either:
1. give free reign to their kids which is like putting a kid in any dangerous situation and telling them to have fun.
2. prohibit the internet, which will lead to the kid either losing out on opportunity or sneaking around and not getting any direction.
3. be an active parent and do a little research. I’ve come to learn as a parent, that the more effort you put in, the better the outcome. Learn what is available out there and where kids are hanging out online and check it all out.

You tell your children not to talk to or take candy from strangers but do you tell them not to accept a friend request from one? Do you tell them what information they should be sharing online and what information should never be shared?

People are getting into trouble with the internet by sharing too much information such as your thoughts about a boss or teacher, pictures of criminal activity (like the dad who put up a youtube video of his little kid driving down the street or kids bullying and beating one of their classmates).

This can all be prevented and the internet can be used for good if only people took the time to educate themselves and realize that the internet indexes everything for the entire world to view over and over again.

It’s like the people who think abstinence is the answer for sex education. It’s not going to happen. I’d rather be involved and open with my kids instead of reactionary and prohibiting every single thing that could harm my son.

Great post!
Kerry

The benefits far out weight the potential negatives that kids could experience online. Just as you must teach your child to be responsible while at the park you also have to teach them how to be responsible online. Same principles, different venue.

The fact is that while there are clear issues and dangers, the benefits of learning, communication, collaboration and friendship should be as open to our children as they are to us… with supervision of course.

I had the kids use Google using safe search settings. The only time I worried about it was in January and February, when so many kids were researching Civil Rights Heroes. It was hard t monitor them closely.

My students know that if they hit a “bad site” they turn off the monitor and get me. I look at their history, tell them how to fix their search. Then they do take a note home (district policy) that says, they hit a bad site, followed procedure, and know how to do a better search in the future. Never had an upset parent. Had 2 question what their imps were doing – but I was able to explain they had hit a vandalized wiki page that I fixed.

BTW – the district decided the money pit had to be paid out of campus tech funds – we declined the “honor” of using it.

Thank you SO much fir coming and talking to our parents. I got wonderful feedback from so many of them. As for the others, they need to get it. They need to understand. I am going to make it my personal project to get through tothose who don’t so that their children can be safe and smart too.

I hope we can do this again sometime. I think we made a good impact on those who did get it and opened he door for those who didn’t.

Unfortunately, my efforts to balance work & home prevent me from going, but I hope that it boils down to what you say here. Use the tools you have, put in smoe effort, and don’t be stupid. I think the key you provide here is: As modern parents, we don’t get to have “THE TALK” about anything. We have to talk about this stuff over and over, in different ways & at different times. AND as dads, we need to remember that our sons AND DAUGHTERS need to hear about all these things from us as well as mom.

Thanks for a useful post.
-Brian http://www.strongfathersmaine.org