Becoming a Dad

I remember when I first found out that I was going to be a father. I was filled with excitement, fear, joy and a bunch of other emotions that you can’t really express unless you’ve been there.

Back then we were living in Virginia and away from all of our family and friends. The decision of how and when to tell people is never an easy thing to do, but we made the best of it and figured it out. We didn’t have things like Twitter or Facebook to tell masses of people at one time, so the news trickled out slowly and surely and it was always fun to have new people find out and get in touch.

This morning my good friend Clarence told the world that he is going to be a poppa and he did it in a way that I’ve never been part of before. He did it by posting the comic below on one of his projects called Planet Wifey. I’ve known about the news for a bit and I’m glad he got the chance (and felt that we were close enough) to tell me in person, but I love that so many other people will find out from this comic.

Planet Wife 2009-10-02

The one thing I tell every guy who tells me they are going to be a Dad for the first time is the same thing a friend from Bentley told me when I told him the news.

He looked me in the eyes and said, “You think you know that you are going to be a Dad, but you really don’t yet. Just wait and at some point, somewhere the news is really going to hit you and then you’ll know you are going to be a dad.”

I laughed it off and then I remember being at a red light, months later on my way home from work when this wave of “oh shit I’m going to be a Dad!” washed over me. I broke down crying and was filled with an even bigger mix of emotions then I had before. I laughed at myself as I realized this is what my friend meant. Now I knew I was going to be a dad.

So, now I give that same bit of advice to every new dad. I also always recommend The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be as my book of choice for guys to read. I read them all and that is the one that stuck with me and was actually written in a way that a guy wants to read and I respected that.

Congrats to Clarence and to all the new Dads out there. It feels like something is in the water lately because there are a lot of new babies on the horizon.

What advice do you give to your friends when they tell you they are becoming fathers? I’d love to hear!

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Related posts:

  1. Being A Dad
  2. Introducing Emmi & Clarence

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C.C. Chapman is a father of two (a boy and a girl) who loves the outdoors, creating media and playing with technology. When not on the computer he can most likely be found cooking or taking photos. He is also the co-founder of The Advance Guard and a busy public speaker.
  • You're so right! My wife and I found out on a Friday. She went in for the ultrasound on a Monday. The debate the night before centered on whether or not I should attend. I co-own a granite countertop shop and we were particularly busy. We decided that she would go alone and bring the images to me.

    Around lunchtime, my wife shows up with a blank look on her face. The moment I got in her car, she broke down crying and handed me an envelope. I pulled out the images to take a peek. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the first one I viewed certainly didn't look like a baby to me. It looked more like an image taken from the Hubble Space Telescope. All I saw were three white blobs contrasting against a hazy black background. I shuffled to the second picture. Same thing. The third was a little more clear. Instead of just three white blobs, this image had corresponding letters. Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. I finally figured it out.

    They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but this one left me with just two. "Holy shit."

    We were expecting triplets. We already had a five-year-old (my stepdaughter), and in trying for a simple addition to bring us just below the national family average, we had somehow become the Waltons in one fell swoop. The next day, a wave came over me, similar to the one you described that happened to you at the stoplight. It left me with a pit in my stomach that had an ominous feel to it like gale winds before a hurricane. For the next several months, that feeling came and went as it saw fit, and each time it happened upon me, it drove the point home a little further. I was about to become a biological father for the first time.

    Enjoyed your blog. I look fwd to seeing more!
  • Laurens (from Can-EH!-Dia)
    When a friend tells me that they're going to be a father for the first time, I tell them that their true life is just about to begin. What I thought was important in life before, A career, a comfortable roof over my head, a loving wife, all those things that I thought were so important now suddenly seem trivial! Now, everything I do, all the time I have is spent with my Daughter.

    After 8 months of Parental leave from work (I'm Canadian, and we are allowed this time if we want to take it, but only collect 55% of our usual salary), Walking around at work I kept thinking to myself, none of this really matters anymore! I can't wait to get home to get that greeting: "Da-D's Home!", and the I'm so happy you're home hug and kiss. This is what really matters in my life now, and beware the peril towards anything that gets in the way of this, or harms my child!

    Brie's now 2 1/2, and getting very good at talking, and the best things to hear now are "Da-D, watch this!", as she shows me something new that she has figures out, like jumping backwards on the tumble=track at the gym where Mommy coaches gymnastics.

    I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled as during snuggle-time just before bed, as she gets into go to sleep mode, and begins to melt into my arms.

    My whole life has changed, or should I say it has finally begun, and I look forward to each new day.
  • It actually didn't really hit me until I had to change that first diaper :) It's frightening and wonderful all at the same time when that realization sinks in!

    A couple more books to add: "Babies and other hazards of sex" (for the humorous side...) and "The know-how book for dads."
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