Raising Gatejumpers

I have always hated whenever someone told me “you can’t do that” or “that isn’t how it is done.” I never understood either of those concepts. Sure, there are rules in place to keep people safe and kids out of trouble, but beyond that if I want to do something and no one is going to get hurt by me doing it, I’ve always pushed to make it happen.

Now that I have children of my own, I’m trying to pass this mental approach along to them. It isn’t always fun because they openly challenge me on things and then I find myself in an interesting whirlwind that I know I helped create. But, part of me loves it when they do it and these situations always lead to great discussions and learning experiences for both of us.

Strong EmilyAlong with this, I don’t hand my kids anything on a silver platter. They have to work for it. Just the other day my daughter was complaining to me that she couldn’t accomplish a task correctly and was crying about it. I told her that she first needed to stop crying about it and try again. The only way she was ever going to learn how to do it correctly was to keep trying it until she mastered it. I believe that it is crucial that this be done because otherwise children will never learn that they have to keep pushing forward to be successful.

I recently listened to a conversation and was shocked to hear how held back some people are. Held back by themselves which is a concept I just don’t understand. It is a moment in time that has reminded me that the way I’m raising my children and the way that I hope other parents are raising theirs is the right way.

Parents need to make sure that they are raising children who know that they control their destiny more then anyone else. That there is no dream that is unattainable if you work hard enough at it. Years ago, I was told point blank that there was no way I’d get into Bentley by my guidance councilor and on the day that I got my acceptance letter I slapped it on her desk and walked out. When I first heard the phrase “that isn’t how a marketing agency works” I laughed and started my own agency. I’ve never been able to just sit back and not push forward if I want something bad enough. It just isn’t in my genes.

What I’m getting at is that you need to make sure that your kids realize that the only way to succeed in life is to always work hard, to be strong willed and be the best you can be at whatever it is that you are passionate about. Yes, there are going to be plenty of people standing in your way, telling you no and gates set up  to block them. But, I hope and pray that everything I’m doing with my kids is raising them to be a gatejumper who chases their dreams with every ounce of their soul.

“I can’t do it” is a phrase that is not allowed in my house. My children know that the world is theirs if they want it.

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C.C. Chapman is the Founder of Digital Dads and the Author of Content Rules. He is a family first entrepreneur with two great kids (a boy and a girl) who loves the outdoors, cooking, photography and playing with technology. He consults with companies around the globe to help them embrace the new world of marketing and business. C.C. is a sought after speaker, photographer and content creator who looks forward to each day as a new adventure.
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  • http://www.abuddhistpodcast.com Jason Jarrett

    I’ve read this article on the day I have decided to implement a withdrawal of privileges for one of my daughters. This will include withdrawing internet and IT access, income etc. Its come at the end of a lot of personal thinking and reflection but I think its the right thing to do, not the easy thing to do, as many of you will understand, but the right thing in this situation. In many ways, its going to be just as hard on me to do this.

    I have rigidly held onto her rights to IT access and have encouraged her to take on great goals and have done my best to help her achieve them. Lately though, a sense of ingratitude and taking others (respect, assets, good nature) for granted has begun to poke through. Now the time has come where I have to take some action to cause reflection. In the ensuing chaos that I anticipate, I hope we can open a conversation that we can both grow from and to see that what John Donne meant when he wrote, “no man is an island”.

    I hope I can find a way within myself to find whatever it is in me that is bringing this out of her so that together we can not only maintain the spirit to fight for our dreams but to do so with others and not at the expense of them. In changing myself, my prayer is that she will begin to prune her own negative tendencies to develop the great and limitless garden of her life, in harmony with herself and others and appreciative of the incredible opportunity that we have to live at this time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnmharvey John Harvey

    I feel this same way. However, I feel like this lesson is reserved for after they’ve got a hang of the “system”. I think in early years, rules create a sense of stability and provide a process to navigate life. But at some point I think this is a critical lesson to teach my boys.

    I remember my Dad telling me his version of this. I was a teenager and he told me that he bartered for “this stereo you’re listening to”. It was a retail store and that didn’t seem to be done back then. A sticker price IS the price. But in this short lesson I realized the truth of this post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnmharvey John Harvey

    I feel this same way. However, I feel like this lesson is reserved for after they’ve got a hang of the “system”. I think in early years, rules create a sense of stability and provide a process to navigate life. But at some point I think this is a critical lesson to teach my boys.

    I remember my Dad telling me his version of this. I was a teenager and he told me that he bartered for “this stereo you’re listening to”. It was a retail store and that didn’t seem to be done back then. A sticker price IS the price. But in this short lesson I realized the truth of this post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnmharvey John Harvey

    I feel this same way. However, I feel like this lesson is reserved for after they’ve got a hang of the “system”. I think in early years, rules create a sense of stability and provide a process to navigate life. But at some point I think this is a critical lesson to teach my boys.

    I remember my Dad telling me his version of this. I was a teenager and he told me that he bartered for “this stereo you’re listening to”. It was a retail store and that didn’t seem to be done back then. A sticker price IS the price. But in this short lesson I realized the truth of this post.

  • http://www.mymac.com/ Tim Robertson

    I am with you. I love the term GateJumpers. Especially given the fact that my youngest is going on two years old and is, in fact, a gatejumper.

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