Being A Dad

Being a good father is the single hardest thing a man can strive for in this world. It is also the most rewarding thing in life for a guy.

You’ll never hear me call being a father “a job” because it is so much more then that. It is a responsibility, a blessing and a great joy,but it is never ever a job.

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It is Father’s Day morning 2009 and as I read through the paper, quickly checked in online and watched the morning news I got very reflective about being a Dad. I’ve got Harry Chapin’s Greatest Stories Live playing on iTunes because it always makes me think of my Dad. I have fond memories of hearing this for the first time in the DIY installed tape deck my Dad had put in our blue pick up. He’d never consider himself a “maker” but looking back he sure does have a DIY streak that runs through him.

My Father was very active in my life (and still is). He was tough, but also allowed me to live. I try to remember that now with my kids. Letting them go out and make mistakes is a critical thing, but not an easy thing because you know they are going to get hurt, fail and struggle, but they need to in order to really make it in this world. The only way to learn how to pull yourself back up is if you fall down first.

I look around me and I see a million different ways to be a Dad. Not all I agree with, but you’ll never hear me question someone either. The reason we have so many different people in the world is why we have so many different Dads. I’ve always said that normal is boring and that holds true here. As long as a Dad is active in their child’s life, then how they do it I am not going to question. “To each their own…” is a saying my Dad taught me.

But, what does upset me is how Dads seem to get to play second fiddle in the parenting landscape for a lot of people and that is something I just won’t stand for. Yes, there are plenty of horrible and inattentive fathers out there, but they are not the only ones missing in some kids lives. Some people were just not made to be parents and that stretches beyond just guys.

So, today here on Father’s Day 2009 I really want to see all of us online fathers to band together and figure out how we can break the sterotype of the bumbling guy, laying on the couch, mowing the lawn and not doing that much more. Most of the Dads that I know are much more active then that and I want to figure out how we can work together to make that known by all. I don’t have all the answers, but I certainly know I want to see some change.

To all the Dads out there I want to wish you a very Happy Father’s Day. Sure, we don’t need a holiday, but the homemade gifts, silly poems and ties dure do make for a great morning. We celebrated with French Toast and this afternoon I’ll be going to the closing perfomance of my daughters play. Yesterday I got to see my father and my father-in-law. It has been a great weekend and I hope each of you is having as good of a day.

Work hard. Play harder. Be a great Dad!

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C.C. Chapman is the Founder of Digital Dads and the Author of Content Rules. He is a family first entrepreneur with two great kids (a boy and a girl) who loves the outdoors, cooking, photography and playing with technology. He consults with companies around the globe to help them embrace the new world of marketing and business. C.C. is a sought after speaker, photographer and content creator who looks forward to each day as a new adventure.
  • http://goodadvices.com/ Tam

    That’s a beautiful entry – it reminded me so much of my father. He was far from perfect, but the lessons I learned from him were many. He definitely let me fall and the harder the landing, the prouder he seemed. I don’t know if I could have survived being orphaned by 26 if not for the independence he encouraged on a daily basis. I never asked him for anything, but he gave me so much…

  • http://goodadvices.com Tam

    That’s a beautiful entry – it reminded me so much of my father. He was far from perfect, but the lessons I learned from him were many. He definitely let me fall and the harder the landing, the prouder he seemed. I don’t know if I could have survived being orphaned by 26 if not for the independence he encouraged on a daily basis. I never asked him for anything, but he gave me so much…

  • http://www.earnestparenting.com Amy LeForge

    Here here! It’s time we started giving men their due respect instead of always putting them down. Good fathers quietly standing up for themselves sounds like a fantastic place to start.

  • http://manicmommies.com/ Erin

    CC, you are so right. In this day and age there are many dads who manage the household, volunteer at schools, and are the first name on the Emergency Contact forms. My dad, was and still is, a huge influence in my life. I know my husband is the same for my boys.

  • http://manicmommies.com Erin

    CC, you are so right. In this day and age there are many dads who manage the household, volunteer at schools, and are the first name on the Emergency Contact forms. My dad, was and still is, a huge influence in my life. I know my husband is the same for my boys.

  • http://www.campfirenyc.com/ Steve Wax

    Hey, CC, I tried to get to your DigitalDads site on Father’s day and failed. Here I am on the Fourth of July, lying in the backyard, my dog at my feet, after a flurry of phone calls on yet another Campfire project.

    Meanwhile my youngest 11,with a 102 degree temperature, is down in my room happily playing My Sims on our Wii. I’ve been feeding her Tylenol and chicken soup at a safe but steady pace.

    As a single dad with 3 kids whose ages span 6 presidents I’ve seen a lot of societal attitude about dads and their roles. I think we start a couple of yards back in the parenting foot race. Some of this is cultural — take a look at any Family Guy episode to get the media portrait of dads — and some dad issues are inherited from our own dads who were far more obsessed and distracted by work than our mom’s.

    You could trace both influences, media stereotypes and inherited roles, all the way back to hunter gatherer times I’m sure. And they are connected. If the Simpsons wasn’t telling dads to work hard, they’d be laying around watching football I guess.

    But I’d rather ignore those forces and climb under an old car with my 16 year old son, repaint her room purple with my youngest daughter, and chase down my oldest daughter on the West Coast and argue with her about Sarah Palin’s latest stupid politician trick. Say, wonder what Sarah’s dad’s doing today? Forgettaboutit, I don’t want to know..

  • http://www.campfirenyc.com Steve Wax

    Hey, CC, I tried to get to your DigitalDads site on Father’s day and failed. Here I am on the Fourth of July, lying in the backyard, my dog at my feet, after a flurry of phone calls on yet another Campfire project.

    Meanwhile my youngest 11,with a 102 degree temperature, is down in my room happily playing My Sims on our Wii. I’ve been feeding her Tylenol and chicken soup at a safe but steady pace.

    As a single dad with 3 kids whose ages span 6 presidents I’ve seen a lot of societal attitude about dads and their roles. I think we start a couple of yards back in the parenting foot race. Some of this is cultural — take a look at any Family Guy episode to get the media portrait of dads — and some dad issues are inherited from our own dads who were far more obsessed and distracted by work than our mom’s.

    You could trace both influences, media stereotypes and inherited roles, all the way back to hunter gatherer times I’m sure. And they are connected. If the Simpsons wasn’t telling dads to work hard, they’d be laying around watching football I guess.

    But I’d rather ignore those forces and climb under an old car with my 16 year old son, repaint her room purple with my youngest daughter, and chase down my oldest daughter on the West Coast and argue with her about Sarah Palin’s latest stupid politician trick. Say, wonder what Sarah’s dad’s doing today? Forgettaboutit, I don’t want to know..

  • http://www.sundaynightsuccess.com/ Jeremie

    As a fairly new dad (20 month old son) I have been surprised by how much we are stereotyped by others. I am a very active Dad, I have only worked part time since my son was born, so have been able to spend a ton of time with him. However, when I go to the park with my son and hang out with all of the Moms there I am amazed by the assumptions they make about me and other Dads.

    The other day the Moms were all joking about getting all the Moms together and going away for a women’s weekend. They all laughed and turned to me and said “man what would you do, that must sound like a scary idea”. I shrugged my shoulders and told them to let my wife know when they wanted to go, it wouldn’t be a problem, me and my son would be just fine.

    The craziest part wasn’t their surprise at my response, it was the fact that the conversation came to a complete halt. My ability to be a Dad ended the conversation because they had nothing to poke fun at me with.

    There definitely needs to be a shift in the image of Dads out there.

  • http://www.sundaynightsuccess.com/ Jeremie

    As a fairly new dad (20 month old son) I have been surprised by how much we are stereotyped by others. I am a very active Dad, I have only worked part time since my son was born, so have been able to spend a ton of time with him. However, when I go to the park with my son and hang out with all of the Moms there I am amazed by the assumptions they make about me and other Dads.

    The other day the Moms were all joking about getting all the Moms together and going away for a women’s weekend. They all laughed and turned to me and said “man what would you do, that must sound like a scary idea”. I shrugged my shoulders and told them to let my wife know when they wanted to go, it wouldn’t be a problem, me and my son would be just fine.

    The craziest part wasn’t their surprise at my response, it was the fact that the conversation came to a complete halt. My ability to be a Dad ended the conversation because they had nothing to poke fun at me with.

    There definitely needs to be a shift in the image of Dads out there.

  • http://www.sundaynightsuccess.com Jeremie

    As a fairly new dad (20 month old son) I have been surprised by how much we are stereotyped by others. I am a very active Dad, I have only worked part time since my son was born, so have been able to spend a ton of time with him. However, when I go to the park with my son and hang out with all of the Moms there I am amazed by the assumptions they make about me and other Dads.

    The other day the Moms were all joking about getting all the Moms together and going away for a women’s weekend. They all laughed and turned to me and said “man what would you do, that must sound like a scary idea”. I shrugged my shoulders and told them to let my wife know when they wanted to go, it wouldn’t be a problem, me and my son would be just fine.

    The craziest part wasn’t their surprise at my response, it was the fact that the conversation came to a complete halt. My ability to be a Dad ended the conversation because they had nothing to poke fun at me with.

    There definitely needs to be a shift in the image of Dads out there.

  • Walt Brysan

    Happy belated fathers day – you fathers

    A few good points mentioned there CC. I think you are likely a good dad, congrats.I stayed home with our new born second son for almost 2 years. What an eye opener!.

    You are right good dads don’t always get the recognition they deserve. Parenting is a tough job, for anyone, you need to develop a set of internal guides and observances that help you recognize for your self that you are on the right track.

    Your idea of the blog is good, I feel that for dads one of the challenges is developing proficiency of some of the “softer skills” such as personal support networking skills. Women are natural in creating social networks around the children and themselves, In respect to daddy parenting, the site could help with this, as it continues to mature.

    cheers Walt

  • Walt Brysan

    Happy belated fathers day – you fathers

    A few good points mentioned there CC. I think you are likely a good dad, congrats.I stayed home with our new born second son for almost 2 years. What an eye opener!.

    You are right good dads don’t always get the recognition they deserve. Parenting is a tough job, for anyone, you need to develop a set of internal guides and observances that help you recognize for your self that you are on the right track.

    Your idea of the blog is good, I feel that for dads one of the challenges is developing proficiency of some of the “softer skills” such as personal support networking skills. Women are natural in creating social networks around the children and themselves, In respect to daddy parenting, the site could help with this, as it continues to mature.

    cheers Walt

  • Walt Brysan

    Happy belated fathers day – you fathers

    A few good points mentioned there CC. I think you are likely a good dad, congrats.I stayed home with our new born second son for almost 2 years. What an eye opener!.

    You are right good dads don’t always get the recognition they deserve. Parenting is a tough job, for anyone, you need to develop a set of internal guides and observances that help you recognize for your self that you are on the right track.

    Your idea of the blog is good, I feel that for dads one of the challenges is developing proficiency of some of the “softer skills” such as personal support networking skills. Women are natural in creating social networks around the children and themselves, In respect to daddy parenting, the site could help with this, as it continues to mature.

    cheers Walt

  • http://www.earnestparenting.com/ Amy LeForge

    Here here! It's time we started giving men their due respect instead of always putting them down. Good fathers quietly standing up for themselves sounds like a fantastic place to start.

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